Chapter 54

“See! It’s not my fault I’m here! Clearly it would be immoral to do me harm, not when I had no say in the matter,” said the skull, its eyes dancing nervously from Opal to Rain.

“Would you die permanently if I crushed you into powder I wonder?” said Rain taking a threatening step forward, his claws twitching in anticipation and his muscles tensing up.

The flames in the skull’s eye sockets seem to shrink down warily as it looked up at Rain.

“Wait, wait, Stop moving Rain!” said Lyra.

Rain paused and turned to her. “Why?”

“Your clothing, it’s about to tear, I only did temporary stitches.”

“No no, I think he should keep moving, straining, bursting out of his clothes, with his sheer si-”

“Please don’t! I’ll have to get everything lined up again! J-just, hold on, let me stitch things properly before we get into this.”

The sheep girl dashed forward and grabbed up her sewing box and then bounced over to where Rain was awkwardly stuck mid-stride.

“You don’t have to do it you know. I’m basically powerless now...” grumbled the skull, its words sulky and a little upset. “When you took me away from my collection you took everything from me.”

“You knew you would survive what happened?”

“Well, yes, I am an undead and undead are nothing if not tenacious. Had I been left as I was I would have been able to collect together the corpses of my minions and eventually bring them back to undeath, rebuilding my collection, damage from your brutish behaviour notwithstanding.”

“I recall you had a fracture from when I threw you. I don’t see it now, meaning you must have the ability to heal your bone core and then return to life, or undeath.” Rain snorted. “Seems simple enough, I’ll just break you into pieces and bury them in separate locations, or, alternatively, I could just eat you.”

“I can heal, I will admit that much, and It worked perfectly fine whenever some overpowered leveler came along thankyou, and it would have worked again if not for that grubby Goblin kidnaping me from my home.”

“Hey screw you, you don’t even know how many baths I’ve been put through lately. Nobody gets to call me grubby. Bitch boy.”

“That- Why are you calling me that?”

“Seems pretty fitting considering we kicked your butt for being a jerk. We won.”

“How disgustingly mortal of you.”

“Yeah? Well, what’s your actual name?”

I have had not need of one. The undead do not require something as ephemeral and shallow as a name.

So you’re fine being called boney bitch boy then?

The skull seemed to pause at this and quickly reconsidered its position.

“If you need to pick a name then just use your name from when you were alive, when you were a leveler,” said Rain. “You did not lose that in death.”

“I suppose since you are mortal you require mortal follies as pathetic as they are. Fine.”

Mm too slow. I’ve thought of a new name for you,” said Opal tapping a finger to her lip in deep thought.

I’m not letting a bottom grade monster such as you name me. No. I was the greatest Necromancer of my century, a scourge upon the lands feared by all for my undead armies, conqueror of unending walled cities, an unparalleled master of graves, my name such as it was when I was alive was Va-

“Your name is Boner!”

“My name is not Boner!!”

“Too late, I said it first, it’s just your name now.”

“Don’t worry,” said Red dully, “You get used to it.”

“You will not name me, the most powerful necromancer of an entire century, Boner!” said Boner.

“You lost, remember Boner? The winner takes the spoils and you are the spoils.”

“Naming is not spoils! I-

“You responded to the name! That makes it official!”

The green flames in the skull’s eyes were starting to sputter and spark with fury by this point.

“You have a very unique talent for being incredibly infuriating Goblin.”

“What was your name when you were alive?” Said Rain as Lyra continued to dart around his body furiously working her needle.

My name was Vaush the Reaper. I would appreciate not being called the insane Goblin’s suggestion.

“Watch your words with her, Vaush, you live for the moment only by my whim.”

“Er ... right.”

Opal bounded forward and scooped the skull up with her sleeve covered hands. Genuine concern appeared in Vaush’s flame eyes at this development.

“Hey, maybe I can still use Boner as a weapon! All I need is a stick to put him on and I can hit things with him!”

“D-don’t you dare! You dam d-” his eyes shifted to Rain, Rain’s eyes were narrowed. “I would take it kindly if you did not do that,” Vaush amended.

“Good” growled Rain. “Keep in mind that I can also find an open public cesspit and throw you inside of it. You can then live out the centuries trapped in a perpetual storm of shit.”

The skull actually appeared to shudder in Opal’s hands at that suggestion. “Eurgh, what a terrible fate. I think I’d prefer being powdered. In any case you have nothing to fear from me.”

Opal turned the skull over and looked it in the eyes. She smiled mischievously. Vaush started to wonder if the shit pit option was really so bad.

Half an hour later Lyra was done and Rain was freed from her hyper-focused sewing. He stretched his limbs, checking the clothing wouldn’t tear, and then nodded at the sheep girl.

“It’s good.”

Lyra blushed a little pink but looked pleased.

“We’re going down to the town. Red and Opal, you will stay here, Lyra will come with me.”

“What? No way in hell am I being left behind. Screw that.”

“It’s dangerous and you aren’t needed for this. Goblins are in constant danger around levelers.”

“Don’t care still coming. If it’s levelers that are the problem then I can be your slave!”

Rain’s eye twitched a little hearing that. “I really don’t like that idea Opal, you nearly became a slave for real, I had to rescue you, remember?”

“I’d just be a fake slave obviously, but more importantly you could be my master.” The Goblin girl wiggled her hips and flicked her sleeves. “Just complete control and power over me and then you roughly pin me down and-”

“A slave could work, if she is willing, Goblin slaves are really common, she won’t attract a second glance,” said Lyra.

“See, it’s fine!”

“Alright you can come. Red will stay however.”

Rain approached Red grabbed up his chain then pushed at the massive wardrobe, tipping it and then dropping and kicking the end of the chain underneath before setting it back down.

“Uhm. What if you guys don’t come back?” said Red worriedly.

“Then you starve and die.” said Rain.

“ ... oh.”

“Don’t worry, there’s food in the cupboards, look,” said Lyra, opening one of the cupboards. The interior walls of the cupboards were covered in runes, preservation runes, as was made obvious by the fresh contents which included fruits and meats.