Chapter 10

The Funeral Service

“As we reflect upon the life and legacy of Dylan Reuel Morrell, Esquire, a man of God, a man of faith and family and testimony, a deacon, a businessman, a lawyer, a husband, a father, and a pillar of this community, let us remember the words of the Psalm. The very first Psalm. This is it.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

“Some might say, but he did perish, painfully, too. Did that mean that he was wicked or a hypocrite? No, I would say not. He lived a great life up until that point and did many great, worthy things to inspire people with his testimony. Furthermore, he died, but he didn’t perish, for to do the latter would mean to die in his sins. He went to Heaven, having died a martyr because he would not renounce God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, for the false god Allah and the false prophet, Muhammad. He received the martyr’s crown and will testify against his murderers at the Great White Throne Judgment.

“Brother Dylan died in a state of grace, not in a state of judgment and sin. He did not perish, for he didn’t walk in the counsel of the ungodly. Nor did he stand in the way of sinners. Nor did he sit in the seat of the scornful. So, as noted in 2 Corinthians 5:8, he is absent from the body and now present with the Lord. He shall be resurrected in the Rapture and shall have a new, better, and glorified body, incorruptible and incapable of sin. He did not perish, for that is why God sent His Son into the world, as noted in John 3:16, that ‘whosoever believeth on Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.’

“You see, for those who do not repent, they shall indeed perish, that is, they shall die in their sins, and shall enter torment upon death. Like the rich man in Hell, they shall burn in the fires of God’s wrath and judgment. That, my friends, is what it means to ‘perish.’ As Christ said in Luke 13: 3, ‘I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.’ Not so with our brother, slain though he was as a martyr for Christ. He died in grace and faith, and he entered the presence of our Lord, who greeted him, saying, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.’

“So, in conclusion, I would like to urge any of you who wish to repent and be converted, as Brother Dylan once did, to do so now before it is eternally too late. To that end, I would like for Sister Myra, our pianist, to play for us the hymn, ‘God’s Final Call.’ For some of you, it might well be that last call to repentance and salvation. Be like Brother Dylan. Heed the call and come to Calvary. Kneel at the Cross. Kneel at the altar and turn to Christ,” Pastor Joe ended his funeral homily, predictably, with an altar call.

I resisted the urge to point out that Pastor Joe didn’t practice what he preached. I was in a rather charitable mood. The fact was, false as the Christian gospel, it was internally consistent with its own inner logic, wrong as that was. Like any fair-minded man, I could entertain the ideas behind Christian doctrine in my head without having to accept or believe them. So much for the blameless bishop who only had one wife, right? As much as I loathed monogamy, I could see the hypocrisy of suddenly embracing concubinage after centuries of condemning it as fornication, adultery, etc.

It was no skin off my back. I didn’t believe in the Bible and hadn’t for a while now. I liked to point out to many Christians who insisted upon the inerrancy and inspiration of the present Christian canon that when 2 Timothy 3:16 was written, basically the only canon in existence was the Hebrew, Jewish canon. Aka the Hebrew Bible, the Tanakh, or the Old Testament. It was a stretch, even if the passage was correct, to apply it to the Epistles and the Gospels. That isn’t what the writer intended at all.

Also, if God was omnipotent and the whole Christian Bible was His Word, why didn’t he intervene to prevent all translation errors? Surely, that would be possible for Him? Why did so many older texts conflict? Why did he allow the addition of the extra verses at the end of the Gospel of Mark, which led to such misguided tragedies as snake-handling, with the resultant deaths? This seemed callous and reckless for a supposedly omniscient, benevolent God. Yeah, I had no time for that Jesus Freak stuff. I only sat through it to honor the memory of my flawed, but hardworking and fundamentally (no pun intended) decent stepfather.

Right or wrong, he would know by now himself and so would the rest of us once it was too late to do anything about it. That is, after death. I didn’t boycott the funeral just because it was held in a service of a religion to which I didn’t personally adhere. I was just glad not to be around Mormons, because I would hate to have someone baptized in my name after my passing in the hopes of saving my soul. It sounded like a scam to me. Then again, I wouldn’t put it past Tara Fuller. She was LDS and always seemed a little sweet on me. Even the thought of them using her crush against her to make her endure that made me cringe.