I selected ‘Celebrity’, Actually Jessica is fiction.

Jessica Gorman has the most famous voice and legs on British tv. She started, as did many before her, as a newsreader, where those fabulous pins could not be seen. But pretty soon she got her own show. And for the last two years she’s had the highest ever ratings for morning tv. Generally accepted wisdom is that her legs play no small part in her popularity. But her greatest asset is her voice, not unlike that of Mariella Frostrup. It’s deep and smoky. Some male fans claim they could even get an erection listening to her read from the phone book. Her tv company has long since scrapped live phone-ins, as the lines always get hopelessly jammed. The few speaking engagements they allow her, pay her as much money as her considerable salary.

She has her own fashion range. And though not allowed to promote the clothes on air, the company cannot stop her wearing them. Every month, the internet responds with cheap copies of her outfits. ‘Get a dress like Jessica’s - only £39.99!’ And, as if that isn’t enough, her cake now has icing. This year, her show has been extended up to the lunchtime news; a first on any network. Known affectionately as JAM - Jessica All Morning. Rumour has it she will soon be offered a prime-time evening spot.

She has a pretty elfin face and dark brown hair in a short, feathered bob, big wide eyes, and a cheeky smile. The innocent image does not really sit comfortably with her sexy voice, but that’s part of the mystique. No mystique about her legs though. Jessica is rarely seen in trousers, favouring dresses and skirts, which showcase her best feature. She has a penchant for hold-up stockings and in one interview, famously said that stockings always make her feel sexy. Internet upskirt sites regularly feature flashes of her stockings, and occasional glimpses of her panties. She always claims they’re accidental, but naturally, male viewers choose to believe otherwise. And there are fake sites showing her having sex, but she shrugs them off. ‘They’re ridiculous, and always make my breasts too big!’ - a response leads guys to fancy her even more.

It’s reputed that a hard core European publication is offering a million euros for genuine photos of her naked. In short, she is the body and voice fuelling many sexual fantasies in the western world. Daytime tv has never had so many male viewers.

“Those hi-def security cameras have arrived.” said Matthew. “They’re even smaller than we thought, you could hide them anywhere.” “Test them by all means.” replied Will, head of security. “But don’t put any out on the sales floor yet, apparently we have to wait to get the go-ahead before installing. Some Head Office ‘experts’ will be round in the next week or two, to suggest the optimum positions for them. “OK.” “Also, they suspect a lot of stuff is stolen by staff, so they’ll want some back in the storeroom and loading bay. By the way, any luck with our celebrity shopper?” “What, naughty Ms Gorman?”

“I’m as sure as I can be it’s her doing the thieving, but there’s no hard evidence of her actually lifting the bottles. And we’d better be sure before we arrest her.” Matthew was the tech wizard, and longed for the opportunity to catch the lovely Jessica in the act. “Maybe you can test some of our new cameras, before the experts place them. You know, just unofficially. What I wouldn’t give to strip search her!” “Who wouldn’t!” laughed Matthew. “We’ve all seen the famous gusset glimpses, on the sofa. Who hasn’t fantasised about checking out what’s underneath?”

“But I can’t imagine why someone as rich as her, lifts the occasional bottle anyway – and mineral water, too!” continued Will. “I know they’re expensive, mountain water from Switzerland and all, but why not just buy them?” “Perhaps she nicks them for a thrill. Or maybe she reckons she’ll get away with it. Being so famous.”

Matthew and Terry, the store’s other IT expert, had often discussed catching Jessica. They usually did it up the pub after work; sharing fantasies of what they would like to do to her. They got together again that day, taking an early lunch, and agreed to set up a couple of cameras that might show Jessica’s next theft, ideally with a shot of her face. Their problem was, she only did it occasionally.

No sooner had they got back to the supermarket, than Jessica breezed in and selected a couple of bottles of Prosecco. They went into her wire basket, and sure enough, as she swung past the mineral water swinging her large Gucci handbag, a bottle seemed to disappear. There were carefully placed CCTV cameras in the Wines and Spirits aisles, but no clear coverage near the cheaper items.

“We could always nab her while it’s in her bag?” “No! What if we’re wrong? And even if we found something, she’d only get tearful and say it was all a dreadful mistake. The police rarely turn out for shoplifters. We need to set something up for later in the week. So, Matthew and Terry continued refining their plan till the end of their shift and spent that night ‘doing some unpaid overtime’. They set up all the new cameras, with some near the mineral water ... But most were hidden around Will’s office.

Next morning’s show was a huge success; dominated by an entertaining conversation with Nigella Lawson. The ladies were both looking hot, and viewing figures began to peak. They discussed the pros and cons of being unwilling sex icons, though male viewers doubted the ‘unwilling’ element. Nigella, though older, was looking fabulous. But sadly, despite the ladies’ knee-length dresses, there was no flashing from either of them.

After the show, they went to a wine bar, grabbed a light lunch, and continued their chat privately. Jessica confessed that her life was desperately short of any sex action, despite all the rumours. She bemoaned the fact that ‘normal’ men were reluctant to approach, presumably put off by her fame. The only ones who chatted her up were sleazy moguls in higher management, seeking to exert power.

Nigella commiserated and acknowledged since her public divorce, her own lovelife was in the doldrums. Adding that, even the relief of a one night stand, was denied them. With the world full of instant social media, they had to be extremely careful.

After lunch Nigella left, and Jessica called the studio for a car. The driver dropped her off at the supermarket. As usual, she told him he could leave and she would walk home from here. She breezed in, wearing a floral summer dress, picked up a wire basket and slung her bag over her shoulder.

“Here she is - bit late today. Everything set?” asked Terry. “Yes.” said Will. “I’ve hidden two cameras in that aisle. One for the bottles and one for her face. You?” “Cameras concealed all over your office.” “Here she comes, down the aisle. Look at how good the definition is on these cameras. You can almost make out the colour of her bra!” They watched the monitor avidly as she shopped. But she missed the mineral water. And paid for everything.

Next afternoon. Jessica visited again. She liked this store. It was upmarket, as supermarkets go, and convenient for her home. And being located in such a pleasant part of the city, the customers seemed more upmarket too. She got very few pestering fans. She found shopping relaxed her, even in a simple supermarket. Today she bought some lemons, and stopped at the fish counter for fresh salmon. As she breezed past the Swiss mountain water, a bottle vanished. “Got her at last!” said Will. “She’s heading for the checkout. I’ll go and wait outside for her. And you keep out of sight. You know what to do - stick to the plan!”

Outside the store, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Firm, but quickly removed. “Excuse me Ms Gorman, but I must ask you to step back inside, and accompany me to the security office.” “What on earth for?” He shivered as he heard her sexy voice. Will leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “Our internal cameras have caught you stealing. The externals are recording us right now.” He stood back from her, and smiled.

“At the moment, I probably just look like a fan and nobody is taking any notice. But it will all look very different if I carry out a citizen’s arrest and frogmarch you back in through the main doors. There’ll be half a dozen mobile phones uploading to Facebook and Youtube, before we get halfway to my office. Please tell me you’ve got the picture.” “I have.” “Discreetly round to the staff door then, like there’s nothing wrong.” She could see it was all over and tried to stay cool. Chin up, she strolled round to the side door with him...

“My name is Will. I’m Security here.” He shook hands formally and motioned her to take a chair in his boss’s office. He was hoping at least one of the hidden cameras was already going for an upskirt shot. “Pass me your till receipt please.” “I threw it away.” “No, Ms Gorman, you didn’t. It’s in that large handbag.” She blushed, and handed it over. He glanced at it and stared at her.

“Straight to the point then. For some time now, we have been aware that you were shoplifting; we prefer to call it stealing. We have a historic video of you apparently stealing a bottle of mineral water. I say ‘apparently’ because it might not stand up in a court of law. However it will serve as back-up evidence when coupled with today’s far more explicit clip. We now have two clear videos of you putting a bottle of mineral water in that bag. And the receipt is itemised, so we can prove you didn’t pay for it. Anything to say?” “I’m sorry. I’ve never done anything like this before - it was a moment of madness. I’ll pay for it of course.” “But you’re lying, aren’t you Jessica? May I call you Jessica? You’ve stolen from us several times. So, let me explain a few things.”

She put her elbows on the desk and rested her chin in her cupped hands. Eyes down, the picture of defeat. “First. The police don’t usually respond to shoplifting cases, even when we do produce hard evidence. They’re much too busy with knife and acid attacks. But they will turn out for a celebrity. I’ll alert the media before I call them, so the press will be waiting outside for the squad cars. Remember the Cliff Richard fiasco? You’ll be all over the evening news.” “Oh God!”

“Second. This supermarket, like many others, is getting precious few convictions for theft. Which in turn sends a message to the thieves that we’re an easy touch. What we need most is a high profile, unambiguous conviction. A celebrity is perfect.” “There’s no need for that. I’ll pay up – and maybe I could donate something to your charity. I’m not really a thief; it’s just a stupid aberration. There must be some way out of this surely, without calling the police?”

Will ignored her and continued. “Third. We have to be careful when arresting doddering old pensioners, menopausal women, or single mums stealing milk for their children. Public sympathy tends to side with them. So your response ‘I’ll pay of course’ is about the worst thing you could have said. And it’ll sound even worse when I repeat it in court. Here we have a woman who earns more than all our security staff put together, stealing mineral water just for fun. Not to mention your pathetic attempt at a ‘donation’ bribe, which will also be evidence. This will be the best publicity we’ve ever had. You’ll put us on the map.”

“I’m so sorry.” “Of course you are, you’ve been caught. But it cuts no ice in here.” Will turned his computer screen to face her and played back the clip and walked round behind her. “I’ve split the screen here to simultaneously show the theft and your face, so there is absolutely no doubt it is you. Notice the clocks are in sync.” The minutes and seconds raced by in one corner of the screen. As Jessica reached the mineral water, the camera zoomed in for a close-up of her face. “This is manually controlled!” she cried. “Cameras don’t do automatic close-ups of people’s faces!” “Correct. I told you we’d seen you stealing before. We were ready for you this time. No apologies for that.”

He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned forward as the theft took place. Jessica was not comfortable with being touched by a stranger. His face was so close, their cheeks were touching. She shivered but there was little she could do, and she suspected there might be worse to come. They watched the bottle go into her bag. Will gave her a squeeze and returned to his side of the desk. “I believe the old police expression is ‘Bang to rights’.” “Please Will. I’ll do anything.” He thought that was clever – remembering his name and using it; probably part of her journalist training. But the part that was going to work was ‘I’ll do anything.’ The plan was coming together.

“It’s quiet up this end of the building and I can lock this office door.” He did so. “For squeezing your shoulders, technically I could be done for assault. So be assured there are no cameras in here. Now I’m going to ask you a simple question. And if you give me the wrong answer, I’ll pick up that phone. It has a speed dial to the local newspaper and the police station, and life as you know it will be over. Do you understand?” “I understand.” “Be warned ‘I don’t know’ is classed as a wrong answer. Question. When a beautiful woman says to a man, ‘I’ll do anything’ what is the first thing he thinks of?” Jessica paused briefly. “I ... sex.” she replied.

“Correct. Now, would you like to continue this negotiation, or shall I make the call anyway?” “Um, we’d better continue. But I warn you, you’re not having sex with me.” “Right. Let me keep this simple. If I can be absolutely satisfied that you will never do anything like this again, it is within my power to let you off with a warning.” “You want to search me, don’t you?” “Of course. But if it ever got out that I’d let you off because you’re famous, or because I fancy you, I’d lose my job. It’s not a grand job like yours, but it’s all I’ve got. So, before I let you go, I must be certain you have not stolen anything else. Even something as small, say, as one grape. So you’re right, a cavity search would be the first.” “And second?”

“I love your voice. I just want a few minutes listening to you talk dirty for me. You can start while I search you. Pretend you’re enjoying it.” “And you promise you’ll give me the tapes back?” “We record on discs these days. But you can witness me deleting the parts showing your crime.” “Very well then. But no sex.”

“Before I strip search you, let’s start with that wonderful voice. I’ll ask you some questions, like you’re being interviewed on someone else’s tv show. And you have to answer, like a common slag. Use all the traditional four-letter words.” “I can try, I suppose.” “First, name three warm wet places where you could hide something small.” She hesitated, then took the plunge. “My mouth, my cunt and my arse.” “I think the word ‘arsehole’ sounds dirtier. So if I were to search two of your holes, which one should I leave out?” “My arsehole.”

“Who was on your show today? I missed it.” “Nigella Lawson.” “Went well?” “Yes, she was great.” “How many of your male viewers, do you think would like to have sex with you?” “Gosh, hundreds I should imagine.” “And, how many men have you actually fucked?” “Um, six.” “Do you like to swallow sperm? Full answer.” Jessica knew it made sense to pander to him. He wasn’t the first man to be affected by her voice. This was only a word game after all, but she noticed his hand had dropped to his crotch.

“Yes, I love the taste of sperm. I always swallow!” “And have you ever had a session with a woman?” “No never!” There were some things she was not prepared to say. “Anal sex?” “No.” “If some tv mogul, had a disgusting proposition for you, in return for a lucrative job, would you turn it down?” “That would depend but, yes, I probably would.”

“Last thing. Pretend I’m interviewing you, and you have agreed to tell me all about when you were a young reporter with the local paper. Using the filthiest language, tell me about the time you had anal sex with a whole football team! Then it’s over.” She took a deep breath and smiled. Here was a fan who truly fantasised about her voice. What harm could it do? Her words had rarely had this much power. She cleared her throat and launched into her story.

“I once had to interview a football team in their changing room. We were running late, and were the only people left in the stadium. They stripped off and jumped into the big bath, and asked if I would join them. I’ve had a few threesomes in my time so, naturally, I stripped off and joined them. They were all groping me in the bath, and I got incredibly horny. They pulled me out and laid me on the changing benches. My crew said they’d film everything. They’ve shot lots of private porn movies of me!”

“Great! Really lay it on thick. Tell me what you did with them?” said Will. He was openly stroking an erection through his trousers. “I fucked them of course! They used my cunt and mouth to get lubricated, then took turns fucking my arsehole. It was awesome, there were cocks in all three holes at once!” “How many fucked you all together?” “Well, there were the eleven players and two subs. And it was only polite to let my sound and camera men have a turn too. Though they weren’t as exciting, as I always fuck them on outside broadcasts anyway. So, fifteen in all. Seemed like more at the time, because they all fucked me at least twice. I must have taken forty loads of jizz, most of it up my arse. It was oozing out of me for hours!”

“Who was your favourite?” “Well, it goes without saying, the big black guys are always good value. But I loved the goalkeeper. I got the impression he didn’t get anal at home – hardly surprising, he was hung like a horse. He did me four times and I arranged to see him on several occasions after that!”

“Was that ok?” she asked. “That was superb. Now let me hear you ask if I want to see your body, and then strip for me.” Jessica was really getting into the swing of it now. “I’m sorry for stealing the water, but I promise I didn’t take anything else. I’ll be more than happy if you want to search me to make sure. I’ll strip off shall I?” She kicked off her shoes and removed her jacket and shirt. “Substantial bra!” Will observed.

“Yes, I don’t really need this much covering, but the tv station rules state it must be smooth and white. I must never show any nipple shape on tv.” “Yet you’re allowed to show your knickers occasionally!” “They’re accidents! I think the cameramen try and peek.” “Show me your nipples, I’m your biggest fan!” “My pleasure, I’d like to take my knickers off, too!” “In a moment.” She unclipped her bra and set her breasts free. His hand returned to his crotch as he stared at them. They weren’t especially big, but were definitely beautiful. Will had never seen such dark nipples; they were almost black.

“Come here and sit on my lap Jessica. I’ll check them while I search your mouth.” He kissed her deeply and fondled her breasts. Several things happened at once. First, despite herself, her nipples went hard. Second, she hadn’t had kissing or any kind of foreplay in a long while, and was enjoying it. Finally, her mind was racing ahead. Where was she going to draw the line? She certainly wasn’t about to have full sex just for nicking a bottle of water. Was she?

After a minute or two he broke away. “Well, you can always pretend this disgusts you Jessica, but nipples do not lie.” She looked down at the traitorous buds and went red. “There doesn’t seem to be anything incriminating in your mouth, but I have to inspect under your panties too.” “Of course.” She stood up and started to undo her skirt. “No, leave the skirt on ... and the stockings. Just lift it and show me your panties. Then sit on the edge of the desk.” Her panties were small black ones, and today’s stockings were flesh coloured. Will pulled his chair up so his face was level with her crotch. He pushed her legs up. She overbalanced and fell back across the desk. Before she could stop him, he was nuzzling into her gusset, and inhaling deeply.

“Stop it!” she protested. “Come on, don’t be such a prude! I’m going to be fingering your cunt in a moment. This isn’t even touching your skin!” “Very well then. But be quick.” Ridiculously, Jessica felt slightly ashamed of herself. She’d never been called a prude before. And he was right, he was only touching her through her panties. And what could be more natural for a man who had glimpsed them on tv? He wanted to know what she smelled like. And there was no doubt he would soon want a taste.

“Black ones.” he said, unnecessarily. “I nearly always wear black.” she explained. “For a year now, I’ve been asked not to flash white, or bright colours, under the studio lights.” “God you smell wonderful!” He licked at her briefs, and suddenly put his mouth over her entire gusset, sealed his lips against it, and breathed out quickly. Her vulva and vagina became hot and the feeling was incredible. It must have been half a minute before she reluctantly pushed his head away. “Enough! No sex. Just get this over and done with.”

Jessica didn’t know it yet but, if this went according to plan, she’d be back for more soon. She lifted her hips as he pulled off her briefs, “Wow, nice trim! Is that what they call a Brazilian?” “Landing strip actually.” “Now ask me nicely. Let me hear exactly what you want me to do to you.” “Oh, come on!” He waited. It was true, he really was turned on by her voice. But, more importantly, this was being recorded with sound. It had to be as incriminating as possible.

“Will, please search my cunt!” “Don’t say ‘search’! I’m supposed to be acting out my fantasies here. Ask me to shove my fingers in. And when I do it, tell me that you like it.” “OK. Will, please shove your fingers up my cunt!” He wondered how many millions of men would love to watch this on tv. A few women too, no doubt. Will pushed two fingers into her and she moaned. “Mmm, that’s nice!” “Shall I wiggle them around a bit?” “Yes please!” “Would you like to suck them clean?” “No!”

He could tell she’d had enough now, but went for broke. “Just your arsehole and it’s all over.” “No! Please!” “You’re surely not going to chicken out now, after coming this far? A few seconds and we’re all done. Talk dirty!” “OK, OK. I’ve been a bad girl. Check my arsehole too!” He did. Then he suddenly dropped his trousers and pants and pushed his erection at the opening of her vagina. His penis slid up over her sparse pubic hair. He held her hips for a moment, almost penetrating her. “No!” she shrieked, and shoved him away. “Can’t blame a bloke for trying. I thought you might be in the mood; your cunt’s wet enough! Would you like me to shove it up your arse instead?” “No way!”

He pulled his clothes back up and stuck her knickers into his pocket. She got dressed and sat at his desk. “Where are my panties?” “Think I’ll keep them as a souvenir.” “Bastard!” “Think how sexy you’ll feel walking home. The cool breeze wafting around under your skirt. It might dry out your dripping cunt a bit!” “Yeah, I can hardly wait!” “And I’ll be sleeping tonight with the smell of your juices in my nostrils. I’ll never wash them!” “You’re revolting!”

They sat at the screen again and located the portion of the video showing the theft. “Note the clock in the corner of the frame.” It counted back to 14.49.27, where she slipped the bottle into her bag. Then to 14.48.46 where she first entered the aisle. Will deleted the sequence, then repeated the process with the second disc, which showed the same scene but with the close up of her face. Then he allowed her manipulate the two recordings a few times, until she was satisfied everything incriminating had gone. Now she entered the aisle and there was a jerk and she passed the mineral water. “I’ll be off then.” He escorted her back to the side door, and she left.

“That was fantastic Will!” enthused Matthew as soon as he was back. “You lucky bastard!” It was a few minutes later and they reviewed their footage. “Getting her to relate the gangbang story was epic!” “Yeah, I worked out that sequence in bed last night.” “Whilst wanking yourself stupid, no doubt. Anyway there’s some choice dialogue I can tweak here. I’ll edit it and make it far more incriminating. And I’ll need you to add a couple of voice-overs.”