Chapter 14

After Michelle’s last trip to Seattle for a weekend with Mike, he told her that he wanted her to leave me and marry him. He’d told her he couldn’t go on sharing her so she had to make a choice. She had. She told him goodbye and came home, this time for good.

After she got home, we went to bed, both of us nervous about what our future might hold, but secure in our love for each other.

In the middle of the night, I woke up to Michelle crying. I put my arms around her and pulled her to me, asking her, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know, it’s just so hard. I love him you know, but he wouldn’t let me have you both. I tried to keep things as they were, but he was so insistent, that if I loved him he wanted me to leave you and marry him. I couldn’t do that!”

“I know baby, I am really sorry it had to end. But I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re home. I love you so much!”

“I love you too hon, I couldn’t leave you, no matter what, and I never will!”

We kissed and gently made love, one of the sweetest feelings I’ve ever known.

The next morning, we both got up, ate a little breakfast and had to go to work. I spent a good share of my day trying to think how I was going to talk to Jacqui. There simply wasn’t any way to gently break off with her, but even though Michelle and I hadn’t talked about her, I knew it was going to come.

After I got home, I nervously paced, waiting for Michelle. I wanted to let her know I was going to Jacqui’s and the reason why. Unfortunately, she had to work late. It was nearly two hours later than normal before she got home. When she got there, she apologized telling me that there was a case coming up tomorrow and she had needed stay in order to finish up some legal papers.

“I need to go to Jacqui’s, hon, not too sure how long I’ll be.” Mondays are Jacqui’s normal day off and I knew that this particular Monday evening, she was going to be home, waiting for me to bring her news.

“What are you going to tell her?”

“That I’m going to stop seeing her, that from now on, I’m all yours and yours alone.”

She looked me straight in the eyes, took a couple minutes to speak, then told me, “No sweetheart, I don’t want you to do that. I told you at the beginning that you and Jacqui didn’t have anything to do with Mike and me. Just because I’m not going to be with Mike doesn’t mean you and Jacqui can’t still be together.”

I looked at her in shock, trying to comprehend what she was saying to me, “You mean you don’t want me to break up with her?”

“No sweetheart, I love that you and her care for each other like you do. I like her and want you to keep seeing her, even sleeping with her sometimes. Like I said, your relationship with her doesn’t have anything to do with Mike and I’ve gotten to really like it when you come home and tell me what you and her do together, especially when we play it out.”

After Michelle had spent that first weekend in a hotel with Mike in Seattle, she’d told me that she’d had fantasies of me being with another woman as well. She’d loved my story of how Jacqui had tried on clothes I was picking out for her at Victoria’s Secret.

Later, when we were arranging another weekend for Mike to spend with Michelle, she’d insisted I ask Jacqui out the evening Mike was coming. She’d literally had to drag me to Victoria’s Secret and forced me to ask Jacqui for a date. Then, not leaving well enough alone, when Jacqui suggested the possibility of me spending the night with her, Michelle had been the one to agree. I’d been too scared to even breathe, much less talk! Ever since then, Michelle had encouraged my relationship with Jacqui to bloom into a very hot love affair. I’d at least partially assumed it was to some degree a guilt reflex from her affair with Mike.

Now that Michelle wasn’t seeing Mike any more, I’d naturally assumed Michelle would want my relationship with Jacqui to end as well. But she’d surprised me by telling me she didn’t want our affair to end. I asked her, “Are you sure you won’t be jealous?”

“Of course I’ll be jealous. If I ever actually see her with you, I might feel like I want to scratch her eyes out!” Then, she looked at me, right in my eyes. “Someday I want to, you know.”

“You want to what? Scratch her eyes out?”

“No, silly, I want to see her with you. I want to see you make love with her.”

That surprised me a little. Michelle hadn’t ever even hinted that she wanted to see me and Jacqui together. She went on, “I want to see what it’s like, to feel the excitement and jealousy you felt when you saw me with Mike.”

“You wouldn’t scratch her eyes out?”

“I don’t know, maybe!” She grinned at me.

I couldn’t help but smile. I’d been hoping that Michelle could see Jacqui and me together. I didn’t know how to make it happen or even if Jacqui would be willing. All I knew was I wanted Michelle to feel that burn of jealousy. Not because I wanted her to suffer, but because I wanted her to understand the feeling of watching your spouse making love with another. And I was hoping she’d enjoy the experience as much as I had when I watched her and Mike together.

Michelle kissed me on the lips, then turned me toward the door and pushed, “Go, talk to her, tell her what I said. Make a date for later, but not tonight. Tonight I want you to come home and make love with me!”

I honestly could hardly contain my happiness at that minute. “I love you so much, you know that don’t you?”

She pushed me toward the door, telling me, “You were ready to leave her for me. Sweetheart, that’s all I need to know. And, thank you very much, I love you too!”

As I drove, I thought about what I was going to tell Jacqui. I’d tell her about Michelle wanting us together, but not about her seeing us together. I didn’t know if that would ever happen. But if it did, I wanted it to just happen, not be planned ahead of time. I drove across the bridge to Pasco with my heart swelling with happiness, both for Michelle and me and for Jacqui. I was pretty sure that Jacqui was expecting a break-up after Michelle returned home this time and I couldn’t wait to tell her my news.

I remembered the first time I picked Jacqui up. I had a bouquet of flowers for her and thought it would be appropriate to take her an even bigger bouquet now. I stopped at Safeway to pick up the biggest, prettiest bouquet and vase they had. When I knocked on Jacqui’s door, she opened it, looked at the flowers and I kissed her, right there on her doorstep for all the neighbors to see. When she broke away from me, she looked into my beaming face and a big grin started to spread across her face as well.

“May I come in, my love?”

“Please do,” as she stepped back and allowed me inside her home.

“Michelle and I had a little talk. She’s home and has left Mike for good.”

“Should I be happy about that? Or not?”

“I was really afraid she’d want me to split up with you too, but she said that her affair with Mike didn’t have anything to do with us. She likes that I’m seeing you, wants you and me to stay together as long as you want.”

I saw a tear on Jacqui’s face. “I’ve been afraid all day today of what might happen. I don’t think I could bear to lose you.” Jacqui and I had been dating and occasionally sleeping together, even going on weekend trips together for the last six months. We’d just gotten home from a fantastic weekend trip to Reno, Nevada. During that time, we’d fallen in love with each other. I’d always been honest with her, that I wouldn’t leave Michelle and that someday our affair might have to end. Neither one of us had intended to fall in love, only to have fun together. Sometimes though, life doesn’t go as planned.

“Sweetheart, you know I won’t leave Michelle.” Then I had to tell her what I really didn’t want to, but felt that I had to, “I’d like for you to start seeing other guys anytime you want, I want you to have a family of your own and that won’t ever happen with me.” That was one of the hardest sentences I think I’d ever had to say. Losing her would be like cutting off an arm or worse. She deserved a family, a husband and kids, things I knew she couldn’t ever have if she stayed with me.

She wiped a tear from her cheek, I wanted to kiss it away, “But I’m perfectly happy now. What I want is to keep seeing you, even if can only be part time, I don’t need more than that.”

I held her hand, “I know. But if there’s ever someone you want to go out with, I want you to know that it’s okay with me.”

She told me that if it ever happened, that she would. It made me cringe a little inside, but I didn’t want her to know that. Somehow it seemed different than with Michelle. With Michelle, my wife, I loved how she’d been dating and sleeping with Mike. But I really wanted to keep Jacqui to myself. Weird or what?

She’d recovered from her crying spell as we sat and talked about other things, a funny incident she had at work earlier, the ever popular topic of the weather and some others that I don’t remember as they weren’t important. When I told her I needed to go, she didn’t mind. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up Friday for square dancing and she shook her head yes. Then we kissed and I told her again that I loved her.

When I arrived home to Michelle, we decided to go out to dinner since it was already pretty late. I filled her in on my conversation with Jacqui and Michelle was pleased. It’s hard to explain having a wife as wonderful as my Michelle.

After dinner, we went home, got undressed and enjoyed making out with each other. We kissed, hugged, caressed each other and finally made love. It wasn’t the most earth shattering we’d ever had, but it was very emotional and satisfying. It was the confirmation of our love for each other.

The next several weeks were pretty tame as compared to the last several months. The three of us continued going to our square dance lessons every Friday and our regular dances were the 1 st and 4 th Saturdays. Jacqui usually couldn’t get off work for those, but Michelle and I enjoyed our time together.

There was one Friday that I’d been sick, so Michelle picked up Jacqui and they went without me. Afterward, they went to dinner with the square dance group. After Michelle dropped Jacqui off at her house and came home, she told me how much she liked Jacqui and enjoyed spending time with her.

I admit I had the best life that it was possible to have. There were two gorgeous women eager to spend time and make love with me, neither jealous of the other. I always managed to spend at least one evening a week, sometimes two with Jacqui in her bed. Occasionally, I’d drop Michelle off at home Friday after our dancing and spend the night with Jacqui.

I was starting to get that itch again, thinking about Michelle with another guy. Don’t know what was wrong with me, I’d nearly lost her once but like I said before, it was like a drug addiction that you can’t get over. I mentioned it to her a few times that if she wanted to see someone that I certainly wouldn’t mind. Each time I did, she discouraged me, telling me that she wasn’t ready to get involved with another guy yet. Her word ‘yet’ left me anticipating when ‘not yet’ might turn to ‘now’