The lockdown, social distancing thing was driving me insane with me being stuck pretty much in my high-rise apartment. I shared an apartment with my roommate Casey McEntire. Well, more like he shared the apartment with me since it was his name on the lease, he refused to let me pay rent and I had moved in with him long after he rented it.

Casey and I went to school together from grade school through graduation. Casey was a jock but one of the cool jocks, not the egotistical type, he had brains too. Casey had always loved everyone, and everyone loved him. After graduation he had gone into the military for several years and I had lost track of him till about a year ago. I bumped into him at a mall one day picking up a few items.

I had just broken up with my girlfriend at the time and was in the process of trying to move out and find a place of my own. Casey had taken me out to dinner that night and listened to me cry into my food about Oliva, my now ex-girlfriend, and about trying to find a place.

“Samantha you can stay with me I have an extra bedroom,” He had said.

I tried to think of a million reasons not to but, at the end of dinner we loaded up my things in his truck and moved them to his place. Casey let me cry laying on his chest most of the night till I fell asleep then tucked me in his bed and slept on the couch. The next day we bought and set a bed up in the other bedroom and made it mine.

I work as the store manager for JC Penny and with the lockdown I was pretty much was just hanging out in the apartment alone all day while Casey was at work. Casey had been on the SWAT team for nearly three years, this left me padding around the apartment alone while he was gone.

What was driving me crazy was not having had sex for year with another human being and not being able to go out and meet a woman I might have interest in. My sexual frustrations were making my mind drift to my quite capable roommate. I do not say capable from personal experience because at thirty-one years of age I had not been with a male.

Where I had gotten capable is Casey being a fit and attractive man by anyone’s standards, not to mention many women were a sucker for uniforms and Alpha type men. But this one had personality and intelligence to go with it. He was not all abs and biceps.

Casey had brought home girls on occasion and let us just say, the sounds coming from his room would put most porn movies to shame the way the girls screamed. Also, Heather Mason ended up with him one night. Heather was bi, her and I had met on a few occasions before.

I think it surprised both Heather and I when she walked into the kitchen smelling coffee after a night of what sounded like someone tearing the walls down in Casey’s bedroom. Casey was more shocked when he came in from out of the shower, saw us chatting away like old friends. The look on his face when Heather told him she and I had been together a time of two all but drove me to tears laughing. After she had left Casey had tried to apologize seemingly embarrassed that he had brought how a girl I knew.

“Relax big guy, it’s bound to happen. I may bring one home someday that you know.”

I will not lie; I did quiz Heather on just what went on in the bedroom that cause all the screaming. I got what some of what I figured that he was hung like a horse. Him wearing jeans and sweatpants now and then I could easily see that.

I had also noticed on many occasions if I dress kind of skimpy those jeans filled up tight in the front. Also, according to Heather, she had never had her pussy eaten like he did. Which did make both our cheeks flush since I had eaten her pussy a couple of times. Mine red she had just told me he was better and her because she said it and did not mean it to come out like that.

I had known Casey was hung already from my habit of running around in just a half top and panties, or sometimes just panties in the morning and was of course flattered that I had that effect on him. I was also amused at how he tried not to look. He looked almost like a little boy at times trying to shy away. Just made him so much more adorable. But knowing he ate pussy that well...

There were times I liked cuddling up against him watching TV, I mean he exuded such a safe feeling being near him. Ok there was a lot of times I loved cuddling up against him. When we would go out together just standing near him in even a theater line or sitting in a restaurant, I felt like I was in the safest spot in the world.

I had asked once if he would rather, I did not cuddle him, since he would often get a chubby. Of course, he turned eighteen shades of red. I told Casey it did not bother me that he got them, I was flattered, and I still would like cuddling with him if it was ok.

He had agreed if I was not upset about the effect, I had on him and again apologized that it happened. He had said I was in his mind the perfect type girl he liked, which I knew already. Most the girls he brought home were petite and usually brunettes with long hair. A couple could have been a sister or cousin to me from the way they looked.

“Don’t apologize. It makes you so adorable and I don’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable in your own place Casey.”

“Uh, it’s our place Sam,” he said and hugged me. “Plus, Sam, you are more beautiful than any girl I know,” he said and again apologized for how I affected him again.

That had set me to blushing. Casey was kind of a hero to me. Back in school he was the quickest to come to the rescue of those who were different or bullied. Now he in my mind done the same being with the police.

So that gets us to where we are. Me alone all day with no socializing and starting to contemplate my adorable roommate and my need to have sexual contact with another human being, or was it just intimacy I needed? I knew he had to be feeling some needs too, it had already been almost two months since he and Cheryl had broken up when the lockdown started. Casey and Cheryl were together five months and he was even talking about marriage with her to me. After she broke it off, he was not into dating at all and would not discuss it further.

Now six weeks into lockdown he gotten to where he did not want to cuddle with me or when he did it was not the same, and I was wondering if it were that he was starting to really desire me and trying to not. He had cuddled with me even when he was dating Chery and after the breakup in the beginning. So why the drawback from me now?

I decided to call Heather. Maybe she had some advice.

“Hello.”

“Hey Heather, it’s Sam.”

“Hey girl, how are you?”

“I’m good but going stir crazy locked in the apartment all day.”

We chatted around a bit, this and that me avoiding what I really wanted to ask.

“Sam.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you really calling for?”

I felt my cheeks flush and laughed. I knew it came across as a nervous laugh.

“Ahhh. I see. You are starting to notice that 6’3” sexy man in your apartment.”

“I ... You see ... Yeah ... You are right I am.”

Heather laughed, “Girl I can’t blame you. Those honey brown eyes are enough for most women.”

“So, do you think... ? I mean could he be really ... You know interested in me.”

“Absolutely he is, not would be. However, he respects you Sam. You know what I mean? You being who you are.”

“I know, he always has. It’s just one of the many adorable things about him.”

“Ok so think of this. Is this just an itch you are wanting to scratch? Just needing some sex. Casey cares about you a lot. After he found out we knew each other, he and I have had lunch a couple of times to talk. He adores you. So much that it can affect how he sees other women. He compares them to you, and you may not know it, but you set a petty high mark.”

“What are you saying Heather?”

“Casey is in love with you.”

“He ... Wow.”

“Yeah wow. So, if you take this step, be extremely careful you could break him for good.”

“He told you this?”

“More or less, yes. I do know that he broke it off with Cheryl, but he tells everyone she broke it off with him.”

“But why?”

“She was jealous of you. She saw it too, so you were a threat to her. She gave him a choice and he chose.”

I was blown away. Never once in a million years could I have guessed he was really in love with me. He actually dumped Cheryl over me.

“Why has he never even let on like any of this?”

“I already told you that. He respects you, really respects you. I mean if I could find a guy half as in love with me as he is you, I’d marry him yesterday.”

I hung up flabbergasted to say the least. I assume it had happened over time us living together being ... well inseparable. We had even been to clubs together and he took me to my first strip club ever when he found out I wanted to go to one.

I searched trying to find out if I had done anything to encourage it. Possibly, I did adore him more than any human being on Earth.

Sitting on the balcony with a cup of tea I searched our time together and myself especially. I admitted I had grown attracted to Casey in a way I did not understand at first and had pushed it aside. I got as turned on as he did when we snugged but I had fought it down, that is not who I was I would convince myself. It was not just recently either, I had imagined my vibrator was him, that had come about months ago. I had turned down a few girls a couple months ago ... I admitted to myself now what it was. I had been falling for Casey.

Did I love him? I sighed, yes, I did more so than anyone I had met.

I called my mom, my biggest supporter my whole life other than my dad, but geesh I could not talk to dad about this. I laid it all on the table with mom. Everything.

Mom said she had known when they would come visit, said dad had even remarked how I lit up around Casey. How Casey hung on my every word.

“Samantha, I think you might be the last to know you fell in love with him,” mom said.

“Mom how do I seduce a man?”

Laughing, “show up naked with beer is what your dad says.”

“Oh, shit mom,” I was laughing.

“Samantha, you need to be sure. Do not half ass this. He is a good man.”

“I won’t mom.”

“Honestly then, maybe fix a romantic dinner for him. Casey seems the type that would enjoy things like that. He is like you father, both manly but also loves to me romanced. I used to send flowers to your dad’s job. The guys would tease him, but they also admitted they were jealous. Romance is a two-way street hun.”

“Yeah, I can see that mom, he is the sweetest.” It really hit me. “Mom you are right; he is just like dad in a lot of ways.”

“He is. You know Samantha back before you told your father and I, about how you felt back then. Well, we had thought you and Casey would make a wonderful couple when we would see you at school activities together. Especially football, him the big, tall football player and you the tiny cheerleader hanging all over him. If you remember he was always around, you or you were him somewhere. This may not be something as new for him as it is you. You saw him as a big brother a protector and he was, but maybe he saw you as more.”

I swallowed hard, my heart thumping in my chest. “I think you are right mom. I mean soon as he found out I needed a place to stay after Olivia, he moved me right in. He hadn’t saw me in years and just swooped in and rescued me and has never asked for anything in return.”

“He loves you Samantha and shows it the only way he feels he can. Question you must ask yourself is. How do you feel about him? Deep in your heart of hearts. The place you lock away things. How do you feel? Once you understand that baby, you will know what to do, or not to do.”

I spent the rest of the morning in a daze sorting and reliving as many moments as I could through interactions Casey, and I had over the years and then since coming back together. Mom was right he was in love with me, in fact I think he was about to tell me at our Freshman dance I realized.

We had danced together quite a bit even then I felt safe with him. I had come out to him that night, I remember seeing more a slight disappointment in his eyes. I had taken it as he was disappointed in me. He had pulled me to him and petted me as I cried and told me it was only surprise; I saw that he could never be disappointed in me being me. From that day on if anyone even dared tease me, he took care of it. Even once had a three-day ISS because he broke the nose of a kid who made me cry. That was also the last kid who made me cry.

Now though ... I did love him. I was also physically attracted to him now. Not only did I feel safe with him, but I also felt complete when he was near. Something I had never felt. If that is not love I do not know what it is, to feel complete. The missing piece of each other’s puzzle.

My mind was made up and it was true, I felt complete, I let myself drift to the two of us in my mind and felt so warm and filled inside. My heart fluttered and my tummy had butterflies.

I text Casey. “What are you up to?”

“About to serve a felony warrant. Is everything ok?

“Yeah. Just wanted to say I miss you.”

“Sam are you sure everything is ok?”

“Yes, it is. Will you be really hungry tonight when you get home?”

“Yeah, we have already executed three warrants and have two more. Want me to pick up anything particular on the way home?”

“Nope. I’m fixing dinner. Just was missing you today.”

“😊 missing you too. Gotta go.”

“Stay safe and come home.”

“Always.”

I felt all warm inside again. I also realized that was the first time I had text him and told him to come home safe. My stomach dropped thinking about for the first time the real possibility of him not coming home safe.

I called mom or the verge of tears.

“Baby that is called love,” she laughed. “The thought of really losing him makes you feel that way. That’s something else you have to think about you know what he does and who he is.”

“I know mom. I ... I wasn’t it expecting to hit me like a tidal wave though.”

Mom laughed again, “That’s love baby.”

I heard my dad saying something in the background I could not make out to my mom.

“Casey. She’s in love with Casey.”

“Mom!”

I heard dad saying something else.

“What did he say?”

“He’s happy for you whatever you decide just like he always has been. We both always will be. But hearing how happy you have been today; I have to tell you that you sound the happiest I’ve heard.”

“I am mom. Now I have to figure out what to fix him for dinner and in a hurry.”

“Well don’t fix the things you see in movies. I mean yeah that is romantic, but it will mean more if you fix something that is his favorite. Do you know what that is?”

“Oh, heck yes! He loves when I make homemade crunchy tacos. I will go get the stuff and make a big Mexican meal.”

“Get some Rolaids.”

“Why mom,” I laughed.

“Heartburn and gas. I mean I figure you are letting him get to second base, if not all the way home.”

“MOM!!”

Mom laughing, “What? It’s not like you two are kids.” “Harold stop it. I’m on the phone.”

“I better let you go mom sounds like dad is trying to get to home plate.” I could not stifle my laugh.

My mom and dad had always been affectionate to one another and glad to know in their fifties they still had a healthy relationship.