Chapter 24: Shangi-La or Dune?

“Shangri-La.”

“Really?”

We have been released from the hold and assumed an independent orbit. From this vantage point, we can survey the planet beneath us. Doesn’t look hospitable. Mostly desert, with a small extremely salty sea or large salty lake. That’s why it calls to mind Frank Hebert’s story Dune. To complicate the habitat problem for humans, the atmosphere is predominantly methane and that salty water is tritium oxide or HTO instead of H2O. Heavy heavy water. Heavier than even D2O. Deuterium oxide, or heavy water. Tritium is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen. Very mutative if ingested. Want to grow a third eye? Or maybe a prehensile tail, or horns? Have a glass or two.

The alien beings who call themselves PLUS can live here but it isn’t a paradise for them either. The helium is used in habitat atmospheres under pressure. Keeps the normal methane atmosphere from leaking in. Any leaks, is the helium atmosphere leaking out.

They want me to produce a music industry for them, as a mood elevating compensation to the colonists for the harsh living conditions. That’s why they abducted me. I am now their captive morale officer responsible for providing piped in elevator music. Such an honor. Not.

They’re habitats breathing atmosphere isn’t pure helium, but also about twenty percent carbon dioxide and a little hydrogen sulphide and a little dihydrogen monoxide.

Dihydrogen monoxide? Water vapor. H2O. Dangerous stuff, because humans drown in it every year even in modern times.

We, and more specifically our leader, me, have two related problems. How do I convince the PLUS to release us, and how do I get us back home?

What weapons do I have on board? A cannon in the nose of the Sea Hag. The PLUS must also have similar weapons and in greater abundance. A fire fight isn’t a viable path to victory.

Among the cargo Sea Hag carries, is the oyster sauce, a few of the antigravitic ballast weights the Merfolk used with the helium bladders. Enough preserved groceries to keep Brenda alive a few more years. My own nutritional needs are minimal. A crab aquarium to raise and harvest crabs for Oops in perpetuity, and can extend Brenda’s protein source with careful husbandry. Some hybrid Hope Island grape seeds, as a possible biological weapon, and some electric worms in cryostasis, a gift from Pipsqueak. My plan for the worms is emergency power for life support, just in case our fusion reactor takes a dump.

Not much to work with.

All the other planets in this system are gas giants and there are no other nearby systems. Only possible solutions are, recruit a confederate to aid us in escaping, or convince the management to return us. How do I do that? Annoyance factor? Wear out our welcome? That tactic could be hazardous. Killing us is easier than returning us via a multi year voyage.

Best tactic would be if I could earn their gratitude and our return home as the reward. How do I do that, without risk they want even more to keep me around?

Perhaps perpetrating some annoyance and they might be grateful if I stop upon request? Hardly grateful enough to return us home, but being annoying would be satisfying and a little gratitude could be built upon. Maybe.

The PLUS really like orchestral music in their quarters. Wonder how relaxing they would find a mix of hard rock, twangy country western, dissonant Asian music, political speeches accompanied with martial marching band music, and some coarse profane Rap? The program is arranged and initiated. Pressing play. A response wasn’t long coming. Please desist. Okay, I desisted. Temporarily.

“Oops? Contact the PLUS. Request we be returned home. If they will agree and do return us home, I will divulge the location of one of their colony ships, with a dead pilot. It’s in orbit about a planet nearly ideal for colonization and the embryo cargo is intact and at last report still frozen. The ship is unmolested by us, but others may stumble across it and find it, just as we did. We want to go home. The information is our offer price.”

This gambit does not receive an immediate response. If they haven’t responded by tomorrow, I’ll play some more racous music to gain their attention.

Hope you’re enjoying.

Yob