Chapter 9: Early to Bed

“FRIENDS?” I ask for clarification from the alien tetrahedron ship we towed to safety and sent on a trajectory to carry it to vicinity of their home. Excellent chance of their rescue.

“NOT FRIENDS. YOU MARKED NON-COMBATANT”

“NOT FRIENDS. SAD.” As a farewell, I had this sentimental drivel sent.

“IF MARK FRIEND, ENEMIES DESTROY. SAD. NEUTRAL NON-COMBATANT SAFER.”

“FAVOR MAKE HAPPY” As close to saying thanks for considering our welfare I can compose in wordless emotions. Geeze! Star wars?

“WHAT YOU SEEK?”

Whoops! The alien thinks I beg a favor. Well, why not? Doesn’t hurt to ask, does it?

“WATER WORLDS”

Long silence.

“STEER SLIGHTLY STARBOARD ON RED GIANT DISTANT STAR. AFTER LONG VOYAGE SEE YELLOW DWARF STAR ON PORT SIDE. SEVERAL WATER WORLDS. CIVILIZATION EXTINCT EONS PAST.”

“ENEMIES?”

“ENEMIES DEAD. MUTUAL DESTRUCTION. OTHER WATER WORLD SYSTEMS IN VICINITY, LIKEWISE EXTINCT POPULATIONS.”

“THANKS”

“MAY YOUR EGGS HATCH ON MOONLESS NIGHT.”

“GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALSO”

“NAME YOUR COMMANDER. MY NAME CARROCK.”

“I AM IRON GONADS”

“A NAME TO FEAR.”

“FRIENDS”

“PRIVATE FRIEND I WOULD PERMIT FERTILIZE MY EGGS.”

“HONORED”

“Is the alien captain hitting on you Gruncle Iron?”

“You received the message Flotsam. Was there emotion in the tone?”

“Not sure, but the message’s intensity made my pussy wet.”

“How can you have a wet pussy during an out-of-body spirit walk?”

“Same as amputees have phantom limbs, Gruncle.”

That yellow dwarf sun sounds interesting, doesn’t it? I’m off to bed with Faye, Karen, and Marshall. I’m suddenly very horny. Wish I could fertilize some eggs.

Hope you’re enjoying.

Yob