Chapter 1

I opened my eyes, and was feeling groggy and tired, and was wondering why my head hurt. I was looking up at white acoustic tile with fluorescent tubes in it, and wondering why they were turned off. I heard a gasp to my right, and started to panic when I realized I could not turn my head.

“Nurse! Doctor! He’s awake!” I looked up and saw Dee hovering over me. She looked like hell, and I tried to ask her what was going on, but all that came out of my mouth was a dry croak. I realized then I was parched. At that time I heard two people come up next to me, a doctor and a nurse.

The nurse started to check my vitals as the doctor turned on her flashlight and shined it in my eyes, then asked me how I felt. I tried to talk, and still could not. She directed the nurse to give me some water, and he brought a plastic cup with a straw to my lips. “OK, just take a few sips. Just enough to wet your mouth and throat. And when that is done do not try to talk, just whisper. OK, good. Can you tell me your name?”

I told her my name, my date of birth, who was sitting next to me holding my hand, and she finally stumped me when she asked me what day it was. “I have no idea. It was Wednesday last I remember, I do not know how long I have been here, or even what happened.”

She sighed, and Dee squeezed my hand. “Well, in short, you were in a vehicle accident. You were hit and pushed about 50 yards away and into a power pole. Be glad you had your seatbelt on, that likely saved your life. You have a concussion, broken neck, broken left clavicle, broken left forearm, broken ribs, and a broken femur. The internal injuries have already been addressed, but we had to remove your spleen. You are in the ICU at the Yuma Regional Medical Center.”

My mind went blank the moment I heard my neck was broken. I squeezed Dee’s hand, and tried to look down to see if my feet were moving. “Stop, don’t try to move your neck! You are not paralyzed, in a few minutes, I am going to check you a bit more. But you have a halo on, a kind of neck brace so you can’t move your head or neck. Mr. Culver, you are very lucky, and should make a full recovery. So just relax, you are going to be absolutely fine. You are out of any immediate danger, but you were in a coma for almost three months.”

“Date” I whispered.

“Today is November 27th. I need to run a few more tests, let me know when you feel something.” What followed was about 15 minutes of pokes, prods, and getting stuck with a needle before she smiled. But by then I was finding it hard to stay awake. She was saying something when I drifted off again.

The next two days was more of the same. Wake up at some point, sometimes Dee was there, and sometimes she was not. But quickly somebody would check on me, and give me water to sip. On the third day, I was staying awake more often than not, and Dee was telling me that almost everybody had been by. Becky, Mandy, Holly, Rosie, my CO, Peggy, but since I was still in ICU they could not stay long or more than one at a time.

I told her I had some fuzzy dreams about that, but was not sure if they were dreams or real. I said dad had been there, and she confirmed he was, he was coming up every weekend. Georgie was in the daycare on base, they were letting him stay because of the situation.

“They refused me at first, but I had met your CO here the same day. He had given me his number, and when I called him he said to wait right there. And holy crap Pete, not 20 minutes later a two star General showed up. In a sedan with red flags on the bumper, and he and your Captain came right up to me. He apologized to me, a General apologized to me! Then went inside and really gave them hell. You were not kidding when you said Marines take care of their own. I’m living in the RV, and have a pass written by the General himself giving me full base privileges so long as I am here. Then he and the Captain apologized again for what had happened.”

“Nod, yes, that is about right. Dee, was Linda here? For some reason, I have a memory of Linda talking to me.”

Her face got hard. “Yes, she was here. It was about two weeks ago, I had gone downstairs to get lunch, and when I came back in they said your fiancee was already in there with you. I was wondering why Becky had come by, but came in and saw it was really Linda. And she was holding your hand and sitting there. I just told her to get the fuck out and not to return. Then I told the gal at the front that she was not your fiancee, and was not welcome again. Thankfully, she left without a fuss.”

“Head shake, she had a lot of nerve trying that. Fiancee my ass, I have long moved on from that, and am actually much happier now. So she really was here? It was not a dream?”

“The doctor said that the last few weeks you were in a kind of light coma. You probably heard us, and she encouraged us to talk to you even. Mostly she said it was because of the swelling around your brain.” She then described how they had to drill holes in my head to relieve the pressure, and the coma was basically my brain’s way of healing itself. And they had even hooked me up to a machine that showed that my brain did respond when people talked to me, and that it was likely only a matter of time before I woke again.

And shortly after I had three doctors come in, along with three interns who stood in the back observing and writing notes. I was awake and alert now so that I could answer most of their questions. No, I had no memory of the accident. I had vague hazy dreams of people talking to me, but other than not knowing who some of them were I no real memories of this. A lot more pokes and prods and sticks, and one of the men said that they would be moving me out of ICU in the morning, and down to the ward.

I looked at him closer, and noticed that he was not dressed like the rest. I asked if he could step closer, and I read his name tag. Captain, USN. “Yes, I have been in charge of your case, even though the Regional Center has been taking excellent care of you. Let me tell you what comes next Corporal Culver. In about a week or so, we are going to transfer you from here to the Balboa Naval Hospital, in San Diego. Expect to be there for at least another six months or more months. After that, we will see. But yes, we are expecting you to make an almost full recovery.”

The next morning I was indeed moved downstairs to the main ward. First was my doctor, and she said that starting that day they were going to transition me back to real food. Since I had been fed through a tube since the accident, she was going to start me on a liquid diet to get my digestive system to start working again. At a minimum, she wanted the catheter out and my being mobile in a wheelchair before I moved to solid foods.

Then, physical therapy. She gave me a good rundown of what comes next. Another three months with the halo, then a hard collar. But in about six months, I should be only needing to wear a soft foam collar, and things would be close to normal.

Finally, she left, and everybody came in! As before, Dee was next to me and holding my hand the entire time. But the doc smiled and talked to somebody outside, and they all came in at once. Dad, Holly, Mandy, Rosie, Becky, Dan, even Holly’s brother was there. I got kisses from all of them, even one on the cheek from Holly’s brother. And they were so happy to see me “back among the living” as Holly said it. Becky had a tight grip on one hand, and my other was alternated between Dee, Holly, and Mandy. “Son, are they treating you right?”

“Nod, as far as I can see they have been excellent here dad.”

“Pete, do you remember the accident at all?”

“Shake, sorry Mandy. I was driving home, heard a horn, then woke up here.”

It was strange, because I could only see glimpses of them, so I asked everybody to stand near the foot of my bed. “Look guys, I can’t turn my head, so at least if you all stand over that way I can see you all.” They laughed, and at this time Mandy and Becky moved their chairs to the foot, so I could see them and the others.

“Pete, are you hurting at all? Any pain?” Becky asked.

“Shake, nope, not really. Slight headache, but not bad really. Mostly sore, and restless since I am not used to just laying around.”

I noticed several looking at me funny, and it took me a moment to realize why. “OK, with this damned thing on I can’t shake my head, or nod, or anything else. So I just say what I would do. Shake is shaking my head no, nod is nodding yes, shrug is obvious. I never realized how much communication does not involve talking, so for now I am saying it. So just go with it, please.”

I gave them all a rundown of what had happened since I woke up, and what is to come in the future. They were all glad I was being sent to San Diego, that was only a few hours away from home. Dan asked me what I thought would happen after that.

“Honestly Dan, I don’t know. I got a feeling though that my career in the Marines is over. Fuck! Sorry, but I don’t want out, especially like this. And there will be some more surgery. Possibly to even fuse some of my neck bones together. But within a few weeks I will be there, and at least walking again.”

The nurse came in and took my vitals, as a vampire drained some blood. She then said I needed to move to a wheelchair for at least an hour. I asked if I could leave the ward, and she said that was fine. In fact, I could go anywhere on the hospital grounds. When the rest said they were wanting lunch, I sighed. “The doc said I was on a liquid diet. Can I get something there?”

She checked her notes. “Fruit juice, water, Ensure. Sorry, that’s it.”

“So I can’t even drink the coffee downstairs?”

She chuckled, saying “Honey, we don’t suggest anybody drink the coffee downstairs.” We all laughed, and she said she would check with the doctor. Everybody shuffled out as two orderlies came in and got me and my bags moved into a wheelchair. Then they wheeled me out, and dad pushed me to the elevator.

As we were waiting, the nurse came up and handed Dee a bag. “Here, this is his lunch, we are still waiting to hear from the doctor about the coffee.” I thanked her, and soon we were in the cafeteria. Dee at one side, Becky on the other as I sat at the head of two tables pushed together.

But after less than an hour I was ready to go back upstairs. I was indeed feeling tired, and my stomach was not acting real happy. This time Becky pushed me to my room, and the orderlies helped me into bed again. Everybody gave me hugs and kisses, and soon left other than Becky.

I squeezed her hand, and saw that she started to cry. “Oh Pete, I was so scared! Your dad called me and told me the news, and I got here about an hour after they did. You were in really bad shape then, you were still in surgery and they were not sure if you were going to make it. You were in and out of surgery several times that first week, and I thought I was going to lose you.”

I wiped away her tears. “It’s OK, I made it. A bit busted up, but I’m gonna be OK. Sorry you had to miss the Ball though, we were both looking forward to that.” She squeezed my hand, and said there would be others. She said was staying in the RV with my family, Rosie and Mandy were in one motel room, Holly, Dan, and her brother were in another.

We talked for about 30 minutes, and she came and gave me a long tender kiss as I was starting to drift off to sleep again. And she promised to see me the next day, but after that she had to go back for work. And I was feeling a lot better the next day. When they brought me my breakfast, it even had a cup of coffee. The orders from the doc said I could have decaf, but weak coffee was better than no coffee. And this time my visits were staggered. Mandy and Rosie came first, and they caught me up on what I had missed. “I am curious, how did Linda find out?”

Rosie frowned. “Honestly Pete, I have no idea. But I do have a suspicion, probably the newspaper. You were on page three of the local section in the Daily News, local Marine in critical condition after car accident in Arizona, something like that. I bet she read it and came on her own. Dee told me about finding her here.”

“That bitch had no right to say she was your fiancee!” Mandy said. “The nerve of her, she better stay away from me for quite a while, I am still pissed about that. Even Holly and I only got in because your dad insisted after you had been here about a month. That is when the doctor said hearing loved ones might help you come out of the coma, so she let us in. They told them Becky was your fiancee, she has been here almost from the start. Every time she had two days off work, she was here.”

“You keep her Pete, I like her,” Rosie said. “She’s a sweet girl, and really loves you. She told us how she was going to come up for the Marine Ball, and she spent that entire night here holding your hand and talking to you.”

Finally, the doc came in and chased them off, and they both kissed me, saying they would see me in San Diego once I got there. Then came more vitals, blood, and questions. Then she had two orderlies help me stand, and I felt so weak as I carefully walked to the door and back. She smiled and nodded. “OK, here is the deal Jarhead. I will come back every day. In no more than three days I want to see you get out of that bed, walk to the chair by the door, then return and get back into bed. Show me you can do that, and you can go back to solid foods.

The image of a big juice hamburger ran through my head as I sat on the bed. I smiled, and got back in. Then carefully I did as she wanted. I sat in the chair for about five minutes, and then made my way back, the bags still connected to the tree I was able to lean against as I walked. I felt my legs tremble a bit as I got back into bed, but I made it.

“OK, I thought that would do it, just not so soon. I did not think you wanted to use a bedpan, so I had to be sure you could get to the bathroom and back on your own. OK, expect applesauce, pudding, and other soft foods starting tonight. I will transition you back to solids over the next week. We have to take it slow, so your digestive system can get back to working again. It basically shut down, and will need time to get back in working order. But within a week, you should be back to real food.”

I sighed. “No burger?” She laughed and said no burger, yet.

Dad, Dee, and Becky came in a bit later, and said Holly had George. I told them about my getting back to real food, and they were both happy. “Did you guys really tell them Becky was my fiancee?”

“I said that,” Dee said. “They said family only, and her not being able to see you would have been cruel. So I said you two were engaged. You’re not mad, are you?”

“Oh, not at all. Thank you. I’m sorry you all had to go through all that, I can’t even imagine spending months not knowing if I would pull through.”

“Oh, we knew you were going to pull through within 72 hours son. By that time they had knocked some holes in that thick head of yours and drained the fluid, and you were recovering from the internal injuries. They ran enough tests by then we knew you were not paralyzed, and your coma was only until you were ready to come out of it. They were getting worried there because you should have woken up a few weeks ago, but your brain scans showed your mind was functioning, and even responded when say me or Dee said something to you. They told us that meant you did hear and understand us, you were probably processing it like in a dream.”

I told him about my weird dreams, including one where he was screaming at me. “That one is weird, you never screamed at me like that. You were saying things like I needed to get my lazy ass out of bed or you would kick my ass.”

Dad blushed. “Well, that was me. They wanted to have me try and say something to get you upset. And they said I did good, because the needles they were watching really jumped that time. They said that was proof you were processing what you heard, and not just hearing it as random voices and noise.”

At that point Becky came in, and after a soft kiss dad moved aside and she sat and held that hand. “You did not tell me you were here on the tenth, Becky.”

She gave me a soft smile. “I had already gotten those days off, and figured that I would spend it with you anyways. Thankfully, your doctor gave me special permission. I just sat here and talked to you all night, so you owe me a night of dancing still buddy. But that can wait, I’m just glad you are going to be alright.”

Dad and Dee left shortly afterwards, and I had Becky sit on the side of the bed. We held hands and talked until Holly, Dan and her brother came in. The five of us chatted for about an hour, then the other three said they had to hit the road. I thanked them again, and they also all promised to visit me in San Diego.

After they left, I pulled Becky down, and gave her a long and tender kiss. Well, as good of a kiss as I could in a halo brace. I felt her hands gently cupping my face, and we both cried a bit. “Becky, I love you,” I softly whispered. She cried a bit when she pulled back, and whispered she loved me too.

She sat next to me until after I finished dinner, and even the applesauce was good. My stomach cramped a bit at the end, but it did feel better. She told me she was still part of the group, and each Wednesday she would give them updates on how I was doing. I told her to thank them all for me, and it would not be long until I was back.

We kissed for about ten minutes, and she said she had to head back also. I told her I loved her again, then laid there and watched TV until I fell asleep.

The next day Santiago, my CO, and the Company Gunny came over, and all said they were glad I had finally gotten around to waking up. I asked what would happen next, and the Gunny just sighed. “Culver, you know what this is going to mean more than likely, right?”

“Yeah, I was already warned. Probably a MedBoard. But I don’t want out! Especially like this! I just fucking got here, this just ain’t right.”

“Well, you just get yourself better. Oh, and can you tell me why you have two medals sitting on my desk back at base?” The CO laughed and said he was curious also. Especially since one was from the Air Force.

I said it was probably for what had happened on Okinawa. I told them about the game group, and how I had expanded it both at Kadena, as well as all the Marine camps on the island. “Yeah, that is kind of what they said. You got a Navy Commendation Medal, which said for improving the morale on the island, and an Air Force Commendation Medal for the same thing on Kadena. You would have had a lot of people looking at your rack at the Ball, as nobody would have ever seen that one before.”

“Oh, can I ask a favor please? I was going to take my girlfriend to the Ball, before I became a malingerer. Can you get me two glasses? I did pay for the tickets, and she spent that entire night here with me. Even if she never went, she should get something more than just watching me sleep for that night.”

The Captain said it would be done. We talked for a bit longer, and then they left. And after lunch, my first session of what I later called “Physical Torture”. I was wheeled down, and spent two hours walking around as a therapist helped me start to regain use of my legs better. I was covered in sweat by the time it was done, and was really cramping. And when I got back to my room, I shit! In fact, I had barely made it to the toilet when it all started to come out.

Amazing, how nasty a crap is when you have apparently not taken one in over two months. It was mostly liquid, and smelled really bad. But it also told me I was getting closer to recovery and my guts were starting to work again.

I reported that to the doc when she came in, and she said that was expected. And so long as there was no blood in it and it hardened up in the next few days she would put me on a regular diet. The Navy Captain was with her that time, and nodded. “Oh, and as soon as you are on regular food and we get that catheter out, we will schedule you for the next Medevac flight to San Diego.”

I asked what that would be, and apparently, the Marines ran a regular twice a week flight from North Carolina to San Diego. It would stop at any locations in the southern states and pick up those like me that were being sent to San Diego. It would then fly up to Seattle, and make the return flight picking up anybody in the northern states that was going to Bethesda. There, an ambulance would take me to the Naval Hospital, and I would be their problem after that.

“Sir, can I ask what is going to happen after that? I mean, the straight truth, no bullshit.”

“Son, what is your ETS?”

“31 August 1989.”

“Well, I expect you to be home well before then. Expect maybe six to nine months at Balboa, then a few months more as an outpatient. I have already started the process for your Medical Evaluation Board, at 50% disability. Figure by about this time next year, you will be back home on convalescent leave and your DD-214 will be mailed to you. At that point you will be under the care of the VA.”

“Fuck. Any way I can fight that? I mean, I will only have a year or so left. I can finish my term, I’ve seen people with permanent Light Duty before, plenty of times.”

“Son, you would be on No Duty. Were you planning on career?”

“Well, not active. But I was giving serious consideration to staying in the Reserves.”

“Well, this is better. You get all benefits, and the same pay as if you did your twenty years. Just take it and run, because no matter what you will never return to full duty. You could try and fight it, then you would just finish your six years and be beached for being unable to fulfill your duties. Then you would have to fight the VA to get any benefits back. It sounds wrong, but it is better if you just take it.”

I thanked him for his honesty. “Pete, I agree with the Captain here. I’m in a medical unit myself, are you familiar with a MASH? Well, I’m in a CASH, kind of the modern version. Army Reserve, Light Bird. And we would do the same thing, to be honest. Oh, you will regain almost full abilities, but your neck could never again take the strain like you could before you were injured. So take it, and consider it a thank you from your country. And you are going to retire, just medically retired.”

When they finished Dee stepped into view, apparently she had been standing silently by the door. She thanked them both for their care. “You are welcome Mrs. Culver, Pete here is a strong-willed young man. I actually challenged him to get out of bed, not expecting him to actually do it. I admit, I get a lot of fun out of teasing the Marines here, he is one of the ones that exceeds my expectations.”

I told Dee everything the doctors had told me, and then there was a knock on the door. Two guys in suits came in and asked me my name. They were both detectives with the Yuma PD, and were part of the investigation into my accident. They were not happy I could not tell them much about the accident. Only that I had left work shortly before, and the light was green before I went through, I head the horn, then woke up here months later.

“That is what we thought, but we had to get your statement. Can you say it again for the record on tape please?”

He pulled out a tape recorder. And after saying who he was, case number, and a bunch of other things, I had to confirm I knew I was being taped, and it was of my own free will. Then I basically repeated what I had already told him, and he followed again before shutting it down. I then asked how the other driver was.

“Oh, we caught him. Not a scratch on him. I guess you do not know this, he was high on amphetamines, and way over hours on a doctored log book. During the time he logged himself as sleeping, we have a fuel receipt from Tuscon. He did run a red light, and once he hit you he ran. We caught him at his destination which was about half a mile down from where he hit you. Where he was telling the dispatcher his truck had been stolen. Witnesses gave a positive ID, toxicology reports nailed his drug use, as well as a bottle of pills found in the cab.”