Chapter 28: Friday Evening: Kempo

Kara stepped through the double doors, moved behind Allison and threw her arms around her, aiming to plant a kiss on her cheek. She blinked in surprise for a moment as instead her lips met Allison’s for a short sweet kiss. “Were you ‘looking’ for me?”

“Yes. Sometimes I want the surprise, but not right now.” She turned around to face Rosa. “You have questions for me?”

“Rig ... yes, I do. Kara mentioned you dealt with some problems with your body reacting, but...”

“That ... yes, I had one heck of a mental block towards orgasms for a chunk of last week. At first it didn’t worry me; I didn’t think orgasms were a good thing, so why should I want to have one? But when Manny helped me with my first few, it was terrifying to know that he was doing awesome stuff to me but I couldn’t feel it.”

“Not at all?”

“Not at all. To be fair, I wasn’t in control of my own body for about two or three hours, caught in what used to be a safe space to retreat to when things became too stressful.” Kara watched her glance at Rosa and smile softly. “Not quite what you’re dealing with I imagine.”

“Yeah. I’ve just been unable to orgasm until ... well, your wonderful wife worked her magic. But I need to be able to masturbate for my own sanity.”

“The scale might be a little different, but I feel that our mental triggers will be more similar than you think. The thing that locked me in that mental prison was a nightmare; one in which Manny left me because I was too needy and too broken. He’s the only reason I got through the first half of my Program week” she paused, smiled at him, then turned back to Rosa “he was my stability during a week that should of shattered me into pieces.”

“Oh ... you’re right. But how did you...” she glanced at Kara, one eyebrow arched “of course. How much did you tell them?”

“Just the basics.” Kara quickly grabbed her skirt from the duffel bag and zipped it up.

“Breakups suck, especially if the person turns out to be different than you expected. But even that should be fairly low key.”

“Some people take break ups harder than others Manny.” Like Pamela.

That’s a new level of ‘hard’. “That’s ... true.”

“Still” Allison added, turning back to Rosa “maybe Manny’s idea has some merit in this case. Did he do or say something specific, or betray some significant expectation?”

“The way he was talking last year made it seem like he was okay if our relationship turned poly at some point. I wasn’t sure I’d like being that physical with girls the way I was with him though; so we agreed that if I found a girl I wanted to explore that sort of thing with I was free to, as long as I talked to him about it at the first possible opportunity. Well, I found my person, and kept my end of the agreement; I told him about what I did with Kara as soon as I saw him again. But instead of keeping his end, he revealed that he was hoping I’d fail to find someone at all and settle down with him ... just him. Then he gave me an ultimatum; choose between him or the ability to explore. I tried to explain to him that I couldn’t choose either, and surely there was a middle ground we could reach. But instead of even considering the idea, he just called me a ‘selfish whore’ and left with another word.”

“He broke up with you by calling you a ‘selfish whore’? I think I can see what might be the source of your mental block.” Allison glanced to the side for a moment, then back at Rosa. “He made the one demand you never expected him to, and called you ‘selfish’ for wanting to compromise? He led you on, hoping you’d ‘outgrow’ a desire that reflects a part of your sexuality. He insisted a boundary change without giving you any input into how? And the worst part of it is...” Kara laid a hand on Allison’s shoulder and nodded at Rosa “you’ve got it, don’t you?”

“He left without saying goodbye, sorry ... anything I can use as closure. He’s probably waiting for me to beg him to come back, and renounce any desire to be with anyone else ever again. He wanted to try manipulating me one last time.”

Allison smiled softly. “Exactly.”

“Thank you ... I know what I need to do now.”

Kara glanced to her side as her mom’s car came into view. “Get over him?”

Rosa grinned. “Yes. And part of that involves a nice bonfire and certain objects...”

Kara grinned at her. “Fire cleanses all, given enough time.”

Rosa turned to Allison and Emanuel and shifted her feet nervously. “If Kara and I wanted to continue our play sometimes, is that okay with you two?”

Emanuel smiled as Kara watched her mom pull up a few feet away from them. “That’s within the boundaries we all agreed to.”

“She could even see you seriously as a girlfriend if that’s what you both wanted” Allison added.

Kara blinked at Allison for a moment, then turned back to Rosa. “I don’t mean any offense by this, but as much as I enjoy doing the sort of stuff we’ve done, I’m not interested in you in that way.”

Rosa laughed brightly and nodded her head. “Me neither. I’m content to leave things where they are now. Friends?”

“Friends.”

She watched her mom pop her head out of the open window. “I know whatever conversation you’re having is important, but if we don’t leave soon...”

“We’ll be there in a second, Mom.”

“May I ask your mother a quick question or two? My folks have always said that I was free to really explore their kind of fun when I was old enough, and...”

“Sure. I don’t think she’d mind.”

Kara turned around and climbed into the backseat. “Who is your friend?”

“Rosa. I think she might be interested in the event tomorrow.”

She watched Rosa approach the driver side window and wave. “Can I ... ask you for some information?”

“Like?”

“Where the munch tonight is. I can drive there, that’s not a problem...”

Clara grinned and pulled an index card out of her purse. “The address and time are here, as well as the names of the organizers. You have your parents permission?”

“They’re not part of the Association, but have gone to a few of its parties before. Besides, I turned eighteen months ago; and they’ve always said I’d be free to explore their world once I turned eighteen.”

“I know a few couples from the monthly parties who think like your folks.” Clara glanced in the rear view mirror, then back at Rosa. “The mom in me wants to ask a few questions just to be safe, but...”

“Someplace to be, yes.” She waved at Kara. “See you later tonight!”

“Yes!”

She watched Rosa quickly step onto the sidewalk; the car started to move a moment later.

Clara broke the silence a few moments later. “Tell me more about Rosa”.

“I don’t know a whole lot about her, honestly. She was at the demo yesterday.”

“Did you meet her there?”

“Oh, no ... she’s in my group in Improv.” Kara smirked as she caught the glance in the rear view mirror. “You want to know if you can trust her, based on whatever you saw while we were talking. What did you see, anyway?”

“I could only read the surface stuff without really focusing on it; colors that suggest instability and uncertainty.”

“Her boyfriend broke up with her a few days ago over something that he should have been fine with; we were helping her process why it happened and what to do about it. Short answer; there’s a bonfire in the future for things connected to him.”

“That would explain the colors I saw. Clearly, there’s more between her and you though.”

“Let’s just say that kink isn’t the only thing she’s interested in exploring, and we found the time to do some of that during a few of the scenes this week.”

“Especially today!” Allison added, a huge grin on her face.

“Ah, I see. Okay, you’ve been a good judge of character so far; if she’s willing and you’d prefer to head home with a friend from the munch, let me know. Just remember...”

“We start work tomorrow on the apartment; we haven’t forgotten.” I did not expect your mom to trust a new friend like Rosa so quickly.

Rosa has a few things in her favor that Bonnie or Emily wouldn’t.

Besides ability to drive, and their own car? Emanuel ‘smirked’.

“Lots of serious conversations today, huh?”

“A lot on our minds today mom. We’ve all been through our fair share of ups and downs these past two weeks, and even though we’re handling them reasonably okay...”

“You’re still young, and fully processing all of it will take time. The fact that you can have these conversations means we did our jobs right, though. May I ask what you were ‘talking about’?”

I see no harm. In fact, she might be able to provide confirmation for your suspicion.

Will that effect how you see your mom though Ally?

If you’d asked that question earlier this week, I might have said yes. I don’t think so now though. “The short answer is whether or not Mom’s memory got twisted when mine did, if not, why did she play along with me even though I was clearly mistaken.”

“You have your own suspicion, I’m sure.”

“Of course, and it’s probably fairly close to the truth. I am my mother’s daughter.”

“She knew the truth, but the family therapist she was talking to at the time suggested she pretend you were right about the whole thing until you started asking questions. For the first few years, doing that seemed to help keep you from regressing any further. By the time she realized your episodes were getting worse, and that the daughter she was seeing develop was very different from the daughter she’d known, it was too late to stop. She still blames herself for the whole thing happening.”

“How can she be responsible? It’s not like Martin gave any indication that he was going to do what he did.”

“I think she blames herself because she couldn’t keep your father from putting such a negative spin on the incident. If they’d kept it neutral, then maybe you wouldn’t have suffered the trauma. And listening to the family therapist she was seeing at the time was definitely not a good idea.”

“First of all, what he did was distinctly wrong; I had no way of understanding what he was really asking for, and thus had no way to consent. That there was a significant power difference between the two of us makes it worse. They had every right to freak out in the moment. Besides, when my memory of the event came back, I distinctly remember them focusing all of their attention on making sure I was okay as soon as Martin left. But now you have me curious ... what else did the therapist suggest she do?”

“She phrased it something like ‘support whatever coping behaviors or thoughts she develops until she’s old enough to understand what really happened; ensure she has as safe an environment as possible’, but what she meant by it was to give you a very controlled environment to not put more stress on you. Unfortunately, Isabella’s sudden passing introduced too much uncertainty for her liking, and the way your new personality was developing made her suggest that it would be better if you spent limited time with Kara and Emanuel. Limited turned out to be none as you continued to retreat inward.”

She paused for a few moments, and breathed in and out slowly. “Your mother still hadn’t fully realized that listening to this therapist was a bad idea. At Isabella’s funeral, I tried to tell her that what I was seeing was starting to scare me, but the full extent of the consequences of the ‘ignore it until I deem it wise to start dealing with it’ plan hadn’t come to light yet. By the time it became clear, she panicked seeing just how deep the real you seemed to have hidden. That, I think, is a big part of why she became such a strong supporter of the three of you reconnecting the way you have so quickly; I’m pretty sure she still feels guilty for robbing you of so much of your childhood.”

“How did you deal with the cutoff for Kara?”

“I tried to explain to her that something big had happened, and that your decision to stop coming over was not made out of malice; instead, that you made it because that was the only decision you could make. What I didn’t take into account was that single minded drive she was developing as a result of seeing you pull away for the last few years, and she took the retreat as abandonment.”

“My temper started to become really scary; so Mom was happy when I said I wanted to study Kempo with Emanuel.”

“And like with Becca, by the time I realized the impact our decisions were having on you two, it was too late to effectively reverse them. Becca tried, but according to her the new you seemed determined to not listen to her. I had a little more success with Kara, but that was largely because of the self-discipline and respect that Kempo was teaching her.” Clara paused again for a few moments. “I hope learning this hasn’t undone any of the new growth you’ve seen with her.”

“I can’t hate her for doing what she thought was best, and I get the sense from our AP Psych book that a lot has been learned over the past decade or so for developmental psychology specifically. I’m sure that the ‘children’s minds are fragile’ idea had a lot more support back then, and the ‘children can’t understand adult stuff’ idea had even more.”

“That’s true; that’s part of why the conservative right had the success they did pushing back same sex rights. We have a much better understanding now of how children’s brains work, and know that the best way to keep a small thing from becoming a big trauma is to help them start processing it as soon as possible. Those studies started coming out a few years after Isabella’s death; if they’d come out a few years earlier...”

“Then we might be very different people today. All things considered, you two did the best that you could with the tools that you had; just like we’ll do when we have kids some day.” Allison turned to her. “Right darling?”

“Right.”

“Becca wasn’t sure that either of you would want to think about kids so soon.”

Kara smiled softly at Emanuel and nodded; the panicked look on his face started to fade. “Both of us are definitely waiting at least until we’ve graduated from college, I may wait a good deal longer than that.”

Allison nodded her head. “Schools are much more willing to hire a new teacher who is pregnant or has a young child than the director of a play or movie. If that means my time to start raising kids comes first, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Have any of you given any thought to how you’ll explain your relationship to any kids you do have?”

“Not really, but how much are we likely to need to explain? If we don’t intentionally hide our affection toward each other, and all participate equally in raising them, then what sense can they get from that except the true one?”

Clara laughed softly as she pulled up in front of the dojo. “That’s true; the old societal lessons are sometimes hard to overwrite. But if the new marriage bill sticks around, then maybe those expectations will have begun to change by the time Allison is ready. Just ... be ready for any kids you do have to be at least as smart as you are.”

“That’s a mildly terrifying idea.”

Emanuel smiled softly at her. “If we work together as a team, we’ll be able to handle that possibility.”

“Do you anticipate needing to talk to your Sensei after the class today?”

“We don’t intend to; if something comes up, I’m sure he’ll understand that we’ve got somewhere we need to be after class.” Not that I anticipate anything coming up that we’d need to stay to talk to him about. Not after Wednesday.

True. “If something does come up that can’t wait, Kara will call you. Right darling?”

“Of course.”

“Best not to keep him waiting then. Have a good class.” Kara followed Allison as she got out of the car, and accepted the duffel bag from Emanuel. By the way; at Allison’s request, I moved the carry bag for your shields to the duffel. I’ll leave our backpacks in the trunk. She watched him quickly load the trunk with their bags and nod at Clara.

“When we get inside the building, give me a moment to grab my uniform; then you can bring the duffel over to your side.” They nodded their heads as he opened the main door, and quietly stepped in after him. Kara nodded quietly at Ken and Paul, then handed the duffel to Emanuel. “That’s everything I need.”

Kara took the duffel from him, then glanced at Ken and Paul. “Are you staring because we’re topless, or is because of the shields?”

“A ... little bit of both ... sorry” Paul replied nervously, his eyes briefly glancing back at them before looking down at the floor.

Allison lifted his head and smiled gently at him. “Listen, we’re flattered, but...” she began as Kara’s eye caught movement from the changing rooms “well, you know enough.”

My loves, I think there are new students.“We look damn good, and we know it, so we’re not mad that your eyes are drawn to us. You might want to try being less obvious about it with other girls. Or has the Program not reached your school yet?”

Right. Kara stepped into the changing room, Allison following closely behind her; she stopped abruptly as Allison’s jaw dropped in surprise. “Emily? I know what ... but...”

Kara quietly put the duffel bag down and pulled out her uniform and bra as Emily nodded quietly. “My parents have been ‘strongly suggesting’ I take lessons under Sensei Hiro for a while now, and the events of earlier made me realize that having some form of self defense available to me would be really smart.”

“That makes sense” Kara replied as she slipped the shields into their bag “the lessons I’ve learned over the years helped keep me out of trouble earlier today as well.” She quietly slipped on panties and a sports bra as the two new girls looked on, confused.

“How?”

“Wait...” Emily started, as Kara quietly stepped into her uniform “I heard rumors that the Thumpers tried to jump someone, and were soundly thrashed earlier today. Was that someone you?”

Kara sighed and tied the black belt around her waist. “Sort of. I simply did what I needed to stop a threat on my life, but no ‘thrashing’ occurred. The worst that I’d did was leave a few of them out of breath and temporarily incapacitated from pain. And that was just long enough to get out of the bathroom they tried to trap me in.” She smiled softly at the two girls. “That’s one of the most important lessons to learn as early as you can; self defense is only self defense if it’s used to deescalate a situation that you can’t simply walk away from, and you should only use the minimum necessary force to do so.”

“So you tried to leave first?” the red head asked.

“Walking out of the men’s room was impossible, so I tried to talk my way out of the situation first. When it was clear that wasn’t going to work, I went for a quick, one hit disable of each of my attackers, and tried to leave.” Kara paused at the bead curtain, held up a hand to the others, and waited for a moment.

“You may enter, Kenshi Kara and Allison.”

“Wait for Sensei to welcome you into the dojo, and then enter, bowing as you do” Kara explained quietly to the two girls, then stepped through the curtain, bowing deeply before taking her place next to Emanuel. Five new students it seems, Manny.

And do you see that smirk on Sensei’s face?

Now that you mention it, yes ... and that doesn’t bode well.

“Kenshi Emanuel and Kara, please approach me. I have something I wish to ask you.”

Now I’m worried too.

Is that some sort of specific phrasing he uses for things that aren’t quite orders, but ought to be considered them anyway?

Not quite Ally; that phrasing either means we have some explaining to do, or he’s about to spring something unexpected on us.

Exactly what Manny said. Kara quietly stepped close to him. “Yes Sensei?”

“I’m certain you both noticed the large number of new students, and in case I was not as clear as I intended to be...” he paused, the smirk becoming a grin “further advancement to second dan and beyond has a heavy teaching component to it. With that in mind, I would like to ask you two to lead the new students in the fundamentals.”

So, which one is it?

The unexpected variety it seems, Ally.

“Just the five of them, Sensei?” Emanuel asked, glancing at Allison very briefly.

“Six. I will work with Kenshi Paul and Ken today.”

How serious are you about progressing further in this partner?

I wasn’t really thinking about that, but considering how much good it’s done for me ... I’m not adverse to the idea.

I wasn’t planning on going much higher, and who knows if we’ll be able to keep up our studies once college starts ... but while we are still studying under him...

... it’s within our responsibilities to help those who wish learn.

“Have you had sufficient time to discuss your feelings about my request?”

“Neither of us can find a sufficiently strong reason to decline, and we both found at least one good reason to agree.”

His smirk grew wider for a brief moment, then melted away into a soft, stoic smile. “Good. Take your usual places in the meanwhile.” They bowed respectfully and returned to where they had been standing. “All other Kenshi, you may enter now.”

Kara closed her eyes, focused for a few moments, and ‘watched’ as two people entered. We may have our work cut out for us today.

“Kenshi? I don’t know anyone with that name here...” Kara heard one of the boys speak softly from behind the curtain. “Why isn’t he calling us in? How much longer do we need to wait?”

“You don’t understand” Emily began “he is calling us. ‘Kenshi’ is the word for student.”

“That’s why those two went on ahead of us.”

And by ‘us’, he means ‘me’.

“They clearly have been students here for awhile. It would be wise not to keep Sensei Hiro waiting.” And here comes Emily and the girls; unless I miss my mark, the other boy won’t be far behind.

Once he’s figured out that his buddy isn’t worth following. Emanuel mimed falling into line to the four who had entered, and nodded next to Allison. The final boy followed a few moments later. Unless Sensei changed how he deals with first time students ... he’ll probably have words with him later.

Kara quieted her mind as Sensei lead them through the starting meditation and the oath, then looked up at him as the oath finished. “Kenshi Emanuel and Kara, please come to the front.” Kara nodded at Emanuel, walked forward, and bowed before standing off to his side. He turned toward the new students. “I am sure that some of you are wondering why I’ve asked them to stand beside me, rather than with the rest of you. Both Kenshi Emanuel and Kenshi Kara recently earned the right to wear a black belt, and with that recognition comes certain other rights and responsibilities. I will be having them exercise one of those today.” Kara heard some mumbles from among the new students. “Kenshi Allison, Emily, Leon, Peter, Yahara, and Ginny, please stand in front of them; they will be your teachers while you learn the fundamentals of the art.”

A shocked look appeared on one of the proud boy’s face. “But ... are they really qualified to teach us?”

“Kenshi Peter, pay very close attention, as I will only say this once. Both Kara and Emanuel have proven time and time again that they have a strong grasp of the building blocks of the art; I would not have granted them the recognition of their current belts if I thought otherwise. And as they will be your teachers, I expect each of you to obey them as you would obey me, and you will give to them the same amount of respect you give to me. As long as they are teaching and you are learning, they are your Sensei too. Am I understood?”

And anyone who doesn’t keep to his expectations is not going to like the consequences.

I trust, Ally, that most of them realize that. I’m worried that Peter doesn’t.

He definitely doesn’t; I can see that in his eyes. That means we need to be extra careful to behave in a level, kind fashion toward him, and make sure we don’t try to take his rights from him in our anger.

“Yes Sensei” all six replied, although not in unison.

“Good. Take your places, and we will proceed to stretches.”

Kara watched all but Peter promptly line up and bow. He’s really going to be a piece of work, isn’t he?

Yes, but that’s part of why Sensei is having us do this. A test to see if we can do this. “Kara and I will demonstrate each stretch first, so pay close attention. If you’re unclear about what we’re doing, let one of us know and we’ll show it again.”

Kara took the form of the first stretch, held it for a few moments, then stood up again. “Was that clear?” Everyone except Peter nodded their heads. “What wasn’t clear, Kenshi Peter?”

“Everything.”