Chapter 39: NUTS

When the results of the biopsy returned, Dr Pvara tells me I have testicular cancer and I’m sterile. I feel like I was just hit headon by a ten ton truck!

Telling me she needs to amputate, it’s lose my balls or lose my life makes me crazy. There is no other option except be crazy after all I’ve been through.

I chose Dr Rahmi Pvara from the phone book yellow pages because the inset picture displayed a kind face and obviously she is a woman in the black and yellow photo. Her medical specialty fits my requirement. Urologist, Andrologist, Sexologist.

She has been delightfully uninhibited. We haven’t had coitus but just about everything except coitus. Rahmi won’t consent to coitus no matter how hard I urge.

This secret little smirk she was trying so hard to hide while telling me she planned to cut my balls off, tripped me up, pushed me over the edge. I wanted to scream at her. Instead, I threw her on the examination table and raped her.

How stupid can I be? I wonder if the prison doctors castrate prisoners to save their lives? Probably just let them die.

After I let her up she silently went to her desk, extracted a card from inside a desk drawer and handed it to me. Inside was scrawled

“I expected you would rape me”

Underneath the private message space the card company had printed