Chapter 5

Mera was pissed!

That was the only way Ashur could describe the actions of the enraged blue Library caretaker. One moment she had been sad, but compassionate. The next, her body had been suffused with crimson as she scrabbled over his supine body in a mad effort to get to his dresser.

Shocked, the big soldier sat up on the edge of the bed with an extremely confused look on his face.

“Wha... ?” he started.

Brandishing the foot-long wooden rod that Ashur had found near the base of the giant stone statues several days before, she turned to glare at him.

“Where did you get this? Where did it come from?” she screamed at him. The red in her skin and eyes pulsed as one great color with her rapidly beating heartbeat. She stalked toward him and he actually found himself shrinking back from the smaller woman that he had been cuddled up with just seconds ago.

“I think it fell off the statue,” he stammered. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about but couldn’t remember.” He held up his hands, palms out to ward her off. “I wandered around there the night before that bad hangover. I meant to tell you about it the next morning, but I was so out of it, it slipped my mind. Why? What is it?”

“Take it,” she snarled.

Reaching out hesitantly, he plucked it from her grip with two fingers. As soon as he touched it, the Words that were engraved along its surface blazed into a white light. Shrugging his shoulders and holding it back out to her, he decided to brave a question.

“I don’t understand. What’s the problem?”

She didn’t answer him but snatched the stick back and looked as though she wanted to snap the two-inch wide thing with her bare hands. Twisting it back and forth in her grip, she cursed in a tongue he couldn’t recognize. Her voice started low and muttering but soon ramped up to full bellows of rage. Finally, she stopped screaming and, breathing heavily, glared at him for several seconds. Not knowing what was fueling her anger, Ashur decided the best course of action was to remain as still as possible. Seething, the furious woman shook her clenched fists at the ceiling briefly before turning and stomping for the door.

He followed her out of the room but, upon seeing she was headed for the exit, turned and grabbed up the clothes they had discarded the night before. He raced after her and dove through the shrinking gap between the doorway and the floor of the already rising lift.

Not wanting to turn her ire on himself, he rose to his feet, held the pile of clothing, and stayed silent. It wouldn’t have mattered, however, for she seemed to be ignoring him completely. Before the lift came to a full stop, she was striding away from him and in the general direction of the titanic sculptures. Even with his longer legs, he still didn’t catch up to her until they had almost reached the hub where the gigantic stone people stood.

Ashur stopped at the edge of the bookcase that bordered the big plaza. Whatever it was about the statues that had upset the now scarlet woman, he didn’t want to get caught in the blast zone; a thought which prompted him to get dressed quickly. Having the cloth armor between his skin and her rage suddenly seemed like a wise idea.

In the meantime, Mera had marched up to the male half of the statue. The outward looking face gave her no response as she raged at it.

“HOW DARE YOU! How dare you do this to me!” She beat on the base with both hands and stomped her feet. Still naked, the bounce of her breasts and buttocks might have been arousing but the effect was muted by the invectives pouring out of her mouth. “You fucking worthless pile of rock! You decrepit monument to stupidity! Why would you do this to me? Why?” Rearing back, she hurled the baton at the figure. It bounced off a stone shin and sailed away. Ashur heard it hit the ground somewhere on the opposite side of the base from him.

The throw seemed to burst Mera’s anger and she dropped down to her knees, sobbing. No longer scared of her outburst, he started to hurry to her. He almost fell, however, when his foot came down on something round that tried to roll it out from under him. Looking down, he goggled to see that it was the rod that Mera had thrown. Briefly cursing it for tripping him, he snatched it up and closed the distance to the crying woman.

He tossed the rod onto the floor and knelt beside her. Wrapping her in his arms, he pressed her into his chest where she wept, occasionally beating her fists against him with no real force. Her sobs and incoherent moans waxed and waned and he was pushed back against the pedestal of the statue when she tried to worm her way into him. Shifting from kneeling to a sitting position, he could only wait as she curled into a fetal ball on his lap, her tears going on and on.

Eventually, her weeping subsided to be replaced by a quiet chant. He strained his ears only to hear her litany of “I’m safe, I’m safe, I’m safe”. Utterly confused, he transferred some of his weight in an effort to keep his legs from going numb and resolved to wait until she was ready.

After almost an hour, she wound down and pulled minutely away from him, but did not leave the circle of his arms. When she looked up at him, he expected to see grief and pain, but instead, her eyes shone with joy.

Utterly confused now, he waited for an explanation. She laughed in delight and reached up with both hands to cup his face and kiss him.

“Mera,” he muttered, “in the name of all that’s holy, what is going on?”

She kissed him again, then turned in his arms, looking around. When her eyes fell on the dowel he had dropped, she picked it up and handed it to him. He looked at it, then her; still not comprehending. With a cry of elation, she stood up and pointed at the colossal stone man. He rose and looked up at it. Nothing seemed different about it and he looked back down to tell her so.

His question died stillborn because Mera was gently bouncing on her toes in happiness. In fact, much to his frustration, she seemed to be so caught up in the feeling that she was robbed of speech. Fortunately, the movement of various parts of her naked body muffled his irritation.

When she saw that he was still puzzled, she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the base of the staff held by the male half. Holding him by the wrist, she lifted the hand that contained the rod up to it.

Guessing that there was a connection, but not seeing what it might be, he started to get perturbed.

“Mera,” he started to growl, “I need you to use words. Tell me what’s going on.”

She dropped his hand and threw her arms around his chest and started chanting again. Trying to make this one out, he started to pull away, but stopped when his ears caught the words of her mantra.

“You can stay! You can stay!” she sang to herself.

“What?” he asked in a mild roar. “What are you talking about?”

“You can stay! The Library chose you! You’re the Guardian!” She started hopping like a young girl, clinging to him and making it hard for him to keep his balance.

“No, I’m not,” he argued. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that the Library chose you to be its Guardian!” She grabbed his hand again but held it in front of his nose this time. “That’s what this means! If you don’t believe me, then try throwing that away.” She nodded her head to indicate the baton she was waving in his face. “It’ll come back to you! I promise!”

Having almost injured himself on it when it should have been on the other side of the vast room, he had no doubt it would.

“I believe you, but what does that mean? How? When?” He stepped away from her and looked back up at the great stone staff then to the rod in his hand.

This stopped her for a moment. “Ummm...” she said lamely.

Mera closed the distance he had created and looked into his face.

“I need you to close your eyes and focus on the connection between us.”

With a huff, the big man did as she asked and thought about her.

“No,” she said. “You need to think about me and what I mean to you.”

Trying again, he filled his thoughts with memories from the past couple of months. In his mind’s eye, he pictured how she walked, her laugh, her voice when she talked. Then he remembered how she felt in his arms and the sound of her moans when she was really aroused. His thoughts were slightly interrupted by a snicker, but he ignored it and continued on. Most of all, he concentrated on the affection he had for the woman in front of him, his friend and lover. He was glad she had come into his life and how much better he felt when she was around him.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that hers were filled with a look of wonder.

“Really?” she asked. “You really feel that way?”

“Well, yeah,” he responded. “I told you that I thought you were amazing.”

She reached up and pulled his head down for another kiss. “I think you are too. Hold onto those thoughts for a minute.”

Once more, she focused on him and, finally, let out a huff of her own.

“Well, I get the picture now,” she told him. “That’s why you were in such rough shape. That must have been really tough on you.”

“What was?” he asked.

“Um. One second.” She reached up and touched his temple with her fingertips. Suddenly his mind was flooded with the memory of the nightmare, the horrific creatures, and battling his way through their ranks. He remembered the blue light and the staff which had floated in front of him and the agreement he had made.

Jerking back from her hand with an oath, he stumbled away and bent over, his stomach heaving and his head suddenly pounding. It was brief, but the enormity of what he had agreed to washed over him like a hurricane. The voice in his mind, the feel of the staff in his hand, and the feeling of power flooding through him all made him dizzy.

As quickly as it hit, it was over, and he leaned down for several minutes with one hand on his knee. The other was holding a suddenly six-foot long staff that he used to steady himself. Mera stood to the side, waiting. She seemed concerned and puzzled but held her peace until he was ready and straightened once more.

“Shit!” he whuffed out in an explosive breath. “What was that?”

“That,” she replied,” was the power of the Library. It chose you to watch over it. I have to admit, that wasn’t anything like what Colphon or I or any of the others experienced. Our initiation was much less intense. How do you feel?”

Looking back down at the length of wood in his hand, he shook his head like he was trying to clear it.

“I don’t know,” he said, finally. “I ... uh ... I’m not sure. I’ve never felt anything like that.” Turning the pole one way then the other, he studied the Words on it. Where before they were incomprehensible, now he could read some of them clearly. They were Words of Power, Strength, and Protection. To his mind, they spoke of understanding and compassion, but resolve and determination.

“Am I like you now? Did it turn me into one of the First Races?” He looked at the skin of his arm. “I don’t look any different if it did.”

“Nooo...” she answered. “I don’t think so. You still feel like one of the Following peoples, but there’s so much more to you now.” Circling around him slowly, she studied him from every angle. “Take your shirt off.”

Even before he had the cloth armor partially removed, he heard her gasp which made him stop in alarm. She murmured for him to continue and, once he was disrobed to the waist, reached out to touch his skin. He hissed when her fingers hit a section on his back that felt burned. Looking over his shoulder, he saw her staring in shock. He tried to crane his neck around to see what had her so stunned, but she put a hand to his shoulder to stop his twisting.

“Look under your arm,” she directed him. Lifting his right one, he examined the skin along his ribs there. He was astonished to see raised letters similar to the ones that adorned hers. They were red welts but, as he watched, they were becoming lighter and soon matched the color of his skin. Using his other hand, he felt along them. The stinging sensation was gone and the Words felt like scars under his fingers.

“Why didn’t this happen the other night?” he asked.

“I really have no idea,” she responded. “My best guess is the Library locked it away in you until I realized that it was there and, before you ask, I don’t know what would have happened if we had made it to the tether before I learned about it. I’m pretty certain that, if I hadn’t seen the Staff, something would have alerted me. The Library is, apparently, getting to be kind of manipulative that way.”

She gave him a quick hug from behind before walking to where he had dropped her dress near the edge of the hub. While she put it on, he took the opportunity to study the statue again. He remembered the kinship he had felt during his late-night visit. It had seemed to call to him in a way, but there hadn’t been any clue that the Library would make this sort of decision. Magic or not, could a building have that level of sentience?

“Mera, you said the Library chose me. Is it alive? Should I be addressing it or something?”

The azure caretaker gave her dress one last tug to settle it in place and then rejoined him.

“Well,” she replied thoughtfully, “I wouldn’t so much say that it’s alive. We wrote certain protocols into the magic that makes up its defense and maintenance, but nothing this complex. I think that, over the centuries and with so much interaction with different realities, it’s possible that those protocols have evolved. I’ve definitely noticed a very basic sort of “awareness” developing.”

Putting her hands on her hips, she shifted her weight to one side while looking up at the two gargantuan figures.

“Part of what we wrote in was a need for a Caretaker and a Guardian. Since those roles were filled around a week or so later by Colphon and I, I never really gave it a second thought.” She turned her head to look speculatively at her new partner. “Now I wonder if the evolution has gone farther than I thought.” She tapped the finger of one hand on her chin. “I’m going to have to think about this for a while. In the meantime, however...”

She took him by the wrist and directed him to place his hand on the foot of the male half. “Let’s see where you’re at. I don’t think you’ll have full access to everything all at once since you aren’t one of the First races. We may be looking at a long training time for you.”

Holding his hand down with hers, she instructed him to close his eyes yet again. “Now, imagine a link between you and the statue. Most of what you are going to be doing from now on will be a mix of the Lexicon and intention. For most small stuff, all you really need to do is imagine what you want to happen. It won’t always work that way, but, for now, it’s as good an explanation as any. Think about the statue. Or to be more specific, the Staff. Create a link between you.”

Ashur tried to do as she said. Unfortunately, just when he thought he might have forged the mental link she wanted, it felt as though he was trying to push his hand through stone and it all fell apart. After several tries, he shook his head and opened his eyes.

“It’s no good,” he told her. “I just can’t seem to do it.”

“Yeah, I saw that.” Her words were drawn out as her mind worked over the puzzle that he presented. “You came close a few times, but we’ve definitely got some work to do. Come on, we could both use some breakfast.” She patted his arm and walked away.

Giving the giant marble colored pole one last look, he turned to follow her. As they walked, he scrutinized the staff in his hand. The Words moved and shifted. Sometimes, they even disappeared to be replaced by others. Resolving to solve that mystery after getting something into his stomach, he lowered it to his side and followed his new partner.

That thought almost stopped him in his tracks.

He was her partner now and could remain here with her. His mind, which had been so focused on coming to terms with his imminent departure and shocked by her morning tirade, could not yet perform the mental acrobatics necessary to comprehend all of what that meant for him and his future. By the time they got back to the house, he was just starting to process some of the implications.

“So, I guess I actually get to call this home, don’t I?” he joked as they walked in the door.

Having entered first, she spun back with a surprised look, then smiled brightly and threw out her arms to the side. “Welcome home!” she crowed, only half joking.

Even knowing that it was a small thing, his recent admission that he had never had a long term “home” was still quasi-fresh in his mind which somehow gave her humorous greeting an emotional punch that he hadn’t expected. The newly minted Guardian halted just inside the entrance and looked around the house with new eyes. In his time here, it had begun to feel a little like home, but now that it truly was, he was having a hard time accepting the reality. Suddenly, it seemed that he was entering the place for the first time.

Mera nodded in understanding and took his hand. “Welcome home,” she repeated somberly. He eventually looked at her and followed as she pulled him toward the dining area. Motioning for him to take a seat at the table, she bustled around the kitchen and made them both breakfast.

A few hours later, they had finished the morning meal, cleaned up, and were now sitting on one of the low benches placed at intervals around the statues. Designed to let people relax to read, wait, or enjoy the art, the cushioned seats were comfortable enough for the two Librarians to rest as they thought about the morning’s repercussions.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” the big man ventured, breaking the long silence.

Mera snorted. “Considering all the things we’ve done together, both in and out of bed, that’s a bit of a silly question.” She looked at him with a smile. “What did you want to know?”

“Why were you so angry when you saw that stick on the dresser. I was actually a little scared there for a second.”

She laughed a little at the image of him cowering, but, after taking a deep breath, she stared at the misty, non-existent ceiling. “Another lesson of longevity, barbarian, is that saying goodbye is a part of life. Obviously, some hurt more than others, but there will always be those that tear your heart out.”

Shifting her weight, she leaned against him for a moment. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m very fond of you and consider you a very close friend, but the idea of being alone again was more frightening and depressing than losing you. For weeks, I’ve been mentally preparing to say goodbye. It hurt a lot. But the last few days have been the worst, especially last night.” She held up a hand to forestall his objections. “No, that was fantastic. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I came that hard and long from something in my ass. I promise we’ll be doing that again at some point.” Her chuckle at how his eyes lit up was brief as she continued her explanation.

“Having to say goodbye was like being ripped apart over and over again. I kept picturing myself standing in one of the aisles calling out to someone, anyone ... and only hearing silence. That almost broke me again.”

“Again?” he asked with a worried frown.

She was quiet for several minutes and he was surprised to suddenly feel her trembling next to him. His eyes widened and he suddenly turned and wrapped his arms around her when her quaking grew almost violent. The absolute terror in her face was unlike anything he had previously seen in her.

“Mera! Mera!” he shouted. Her face turned to him at hearing her name, but there was no recognition for a moment. Then her eyes cleared and, with a cry, threw herself onto his lap and tried to bury herself into his chest again. He held her that way until, with a shuddering breath, she unfurled herself and merely clutched at his shirt like a drowning woman trying not to sink.

He stroked her hair until she settled enough to interact with him once more. Her trembling had stopped and the panic had mostly faded from her expression. Finally, she shifted back onto the seat next to him and drew a long shuddering breath. Ashur kept one arm around her shoulders and took her hand in his.

“In the Auditorium, you wondered how I had been alone so long without losing my sanity. I didn’t. About fifteen hundred years or so ago, my mind broke and I went insane for what I can only guess was around a century.”

The hand he held tightened down on his fingers and she leaned into him once again.

“I only remember small pieces of that time, flashes of emotions and images. I remember being afraid and angry. Part of me knew I was out of control but couldn’t or wouldn’t do anything about it. It was easier to hide and let the bad stuff happen.”

I can’t remember if or when I ate or slept. It’s all a big blur, but when I did eventually pull out of it, things were in shambles. There were creatures everywhere, the Well was almost out of control, and whole sections of manuscripts had been tossed everywhere.”

She shuddered again. “I think that was me. I have vague impressions of climbing the Shelves and things kept getting in my way.”

Ashur wasn’t certain what “the Well” was, but now was definitely not the time to ask. He kept silent, allowing her to continue.

“It took me a long time to come out of it. I’m still not certain how I did and when I was rational again...” She gave a small shrug and shake of her head. “I think I cried for two days straight. I spent the next few years cleaning everything up and clearing everyone and everything out. I made so many trips through the Ether to get all of those animals home. To make matters worse, there were even more that had died of dehydration or starvation because they couldn’t make it back while I was too “indisposed” to help them. I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about that.”

Mera stood and meandered toward the statue. A few heartbeats later, the Guardian joined her. When she reached it, she laid a hand upon the marble woman’s toe and turned to look at him.

“Did you know that when I saw that the tether was whole again, I started to feel it creeping back on me? I’ve been fighting so hard since then to keep myself here and now because the alternative scares me so badly that I can’t function. Even now, knowing that you are staying and I won’t be alone again, that fear still squeezes my heart and ... well.”

She waved back to where they had been sitting a few minutes before and her panicked reaction.

“So, when I saw the Staff on your dresser, I knew that the Library had chosen you and yet, for whatever reason, had hidden it from me. It made me suffer through that ... that fear, that terror when it didn’t have to. That pissed me off. I’m sorry that I scared you or worried you, but I was just so angry!”

Watching her skin take on a crimson hue again, he placed a hand on her arm in an attempt to soothe her. It worked and she settled enough to continue.

“Sorry,” she said, breathing slowly to calm herself. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been that mad.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he countered. “My first day here seemed to be pretty upsetting for you.”

Lightly punching him in the shoulder for his terrible joke, she smiled up at him. “No,” she replied, “I was definitely upset that day, but nowhere near as mad as I was this morning. At the time, I thought you were a thief or someone sent to attack me and the Library. When I found out that you weren’t, that you had just stumbled...”

She trailed off and her skin flared scarlet once more. Her foot stomped and she pounded the sculpture. Ashur stepped back when Mera’s breath came whistling from between her clenched teeth.

“IT WAS YOU, YOU STUPID STRUCTURE! You did it! You moved the tether end! And you didn’t tell me! Again! I hate you! I hate you! You piece of magical shit!” Now both of her fists drummed out a staccato on the stone digit before her.

Deciding to head her tirade off before she bruised her hands, he stepped up and put both of his on her shoulders to draw her away from the offending effigy. Still ranting, she allowed herself to be directed toward the bookshelves and the house. They were almost halfway back before her muttering wound down.

“Another surprise, I take it?” the big man asked gently.

His companion harrumphed. “Sort of.” She then explained about the nature of the tether, the oddity of it being near the surface, and her worries at its loss of strength. “I was worried that whatever caused the Cataclysm had somehow found us. It would take enormous power to shift the tether, especially from the outside. Now I know that it was the Library itself that did the moving and it put me through more unnecessary worry.”

“Ah,” was his only reply.

“Yeah,” she chuckled. “Today has been a bit of an emotional day. I really need to get my head back together.”

They strolled silently for a while.

“So, what now?” the new Guardian finally asked.

“I guess,” she responded, “we’ll get you started on history and training. The history part is easy. We can use old lectures from the viewer and, obviously, the materials around us for that part.” She emphasized her point with a wave of her hand toward the shelves that surrounded them. “The training is going to be a bit harder. This is all new territory. Colphon, the others, and I were all of the Tibori so it was part of our upbringning. Since you aren’t, I’m not certain where to start, what expectations to have, or even where your limits are going to be.”

She placed her hand on his arm and squeezed a little.

“Keep in mind that I’m probably going to be winging it most of the way. I know for a fact that we’ll both get frustrated from time to time, but we’ll get there. Give me a day or so to think about it and we’ll get started.”

A sudden thought hit him and he focused on Mera.

“Does this mean that I’m actually the Chosen One you’ve been waiting for?” His heart started racing. If he was, then it meant an end to Mera’s long watch and she would be able to travel the world again. His hopes were dashed, however, by her response.

“No, I’m afraid not,” she said as she strolled back over to him. “As nice as that would be, you’re not the one I’m waiting for. Sorry.”

“How do you know?”

“The impression I got was that whoever it is will already have the power within them. You didn’t. Until the Library chose you, you were the same as any other of the Following Races. Your only access to magic would have been the same as mages of your time. You’re not the one.”

Ashur wasn’t certain how he felt about that. On one hand, he was happy that he would be able to stay and keep Mera company, but on the other, he had hoped her wait would be at an end. With a sigh, he started back to the house.

Ashur held the wooden rod up in front of him, mirroring the towering male statue. However, where the stone man gripped a weapon that was as tall as he was, the flesh and blood one still held onto something around a foot long. Sometime during that first night, it had reverted to its truncated size.

“What am I doing wrong,” he muttered to himself darkly. It had been two weeks since the revelation that he was now a part of the Library and he had been working to train his mind in order to gain access to the abilities that the magical edifice had bestowed upon him.

Unfortunately, the progress wasn’t going as fast as he had hoped.

Mera had started him out with mental training. His new routine involved ten minutes of concentration exercises every morning before breakfast. She had explained that almost no one could focus on one thing for more than about thirty seconds at a time without developing the skill. When he had argued that he could do it, she had laid down a challenge. She would watch his mind as he directed all of his attention on a candle flame. If that attention wandered, she would call an end to the exercise.

He had made it to seventeen seconds before his thoughts shifted from the flame to wondering if he really could make it the full time. Mera had immediately called him out on his lapse. Determined to prove her wrong, he had tried again. And again. And again. After the twelfth attempt, he had conceded her point. He hadn’t made it any farther than a count of twenty-two.

That day, she had directed him to focus on the flame for ten seconds at a time. When his new teacher had finally announced that he had reached his goal five times in a row, she had ended the exercise and told him that his next objective was fifteen seconds. Once he had accomplished that, she had continuously increased the time by five second intervals and they had repeated the exercise daily ever since.

Now, Ashur stood in his room and had spent the last hour attempting to expand the baton into its full length. Mera kept on calling it “the Staff” with a capital “S”, but until he was actually able to extend it to six feet again, he didn’t quite feel right using the term.

She had explained that there were many abilities he would be able to unlock once he had even partially mastered it, but until he did...