Chapter 21: Tragedy

And so, I returned home, to Houston, to resume my normal life. Except, of course, for the almost daily calls to my great-grandson. Okay, at the age of one month, he’s not much of a conversationalist, so I end up talking with Lauren and Matt. Oh – did I tell you? My neighbor Bill put that Skype (I learned that I had been spelling it wrong) program on my computer, so now I could “Skype” – yes, it’s a verb, too – with my great-grandson and his parents (they have the program too, like it seems almost everyone in the world does now).

In early-February, the phone rang. I looked at the number and saw that it was from Ted’s and Candace’s area code, so I picked up immediately. It was Candace and Ted, of course, calling to share the wonderful news that they’d had baby Shana, and she was beautiful and wonderful and doing well. And with their typical generosity, they asked if I would be her “honorary grandmother.” Of course, I couldn’t say yes fast enough.

While I was on the phone with them, I was interrupted by the “call waiting” bleep. A quick look at the number let me know that it was Lauren, so I said a hasty goodbye and one more batch of “Congratulations!” and “We love you!” to Candace and Ted, and then picked up the other line. Lauren was also calling with the news about Ted’s and Candace’s new baby, and how the baby was healthy and doing well. Candace was having some problems, but nothing serious. We talked for a while longer, excited about Candace and Ted’s new baby, but also about my own brilliant great-grandson, who I was sure would be off to college in a mere 18 years!

And my life went on like that.

Until the call...

It was Candace. She had a brain tumor. There was no treatment. She probably had less than a year.

Simply, I was too shocked to react.

But this was not the call of a young woman who was facing a tragic death. This was the call of a mother who was working to make sure that her family would be taken care of.

“Georgia, I know this is an incredible thing to ask, and I can understand if you say no, but, ... would you consider coming up here and taking care of the children ... for as long as... ?

“I know that you love them, and you certainly know that they love you. But this would mean that your life would change completely, and not just for a few months or a year, but maybe ... forever.” And she stopped.

“Candace,...” I took some time -- for me to take it all in, for my head to stop spinning, “I understand what you’re ... proposing. And I want to say yes so badly. But this is a huge thing, and I want to be absolutely certain before I make any promises. So, can I have 24 hours to think about it, ... to think things through?”

“Of course – we wouldn’t expect anything less. And there’s absolutely no pressure, we don’t have any right to expect anything from you, but you know that Ted and I love ... you know how we feel about you, and that won’t change no matter what you decide to do.”

“I’ll call you, Candace.” I hung up quickly.

Then I cried. I cried so hard my body shook. I don’t think I’ve hurt so badly since my Sofia...

I knew I had to talk with Lauren. But first, I needed a glass of brandy. And maybe a second glass.

“Lauren, sweetheart, I just got a call from Candace.”

Lauren immediately sensed from the tone of my voice that it was not the good kind of call. I explained the situation, and then I told her about Candace’s request.

Lauren understood – everything – as I knew she would.

“Georgia, that’s an enormous request, and an enormous responsibility. Anyone who says yes would be agreeing to change their whole life – to give up their current life completely and start a new one – for years, possibly forever.”

“I know, Sweetheart.”

“What do you think you want to do?”

“I want so badly to say yes, but it’s like you said – I’d be permanently giving up my current life. Not that my current life is so ... It’s just that it’s a scary thought. And what’s also scary is the commitment I’d be making to Candace – and to the children – and to Ted, too, I guess.”

“You’re right, Georgia, it would be an enormous commitment to Candace and the children.” Then she paused for a few seconds. “But can you think of anyone else in the world better than you to make that commitment?”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. Thank you, Sweetheart – Lauren, you can’t believe how much I love you.”

“I love you, Grandma, so much.”

I called Candace back with my answer, and we agreed that we would make more detailed arrangements as time went on. Then she said, “About Teddy. I’m not going to ask for any promises, and I’m certainly not going pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. But in his whole life, you’re the only other woman he’s ever looked at. He loves Lauren and Janey like they were his own sisters, but with you ... he looks at you with total – ‘admiration’ is the only word I can think of. And if you decided you wanted to be with each other, you’d both have my blessing.”

From anyone else, such a proposal would have been difficult to take seriously, but from Candace, I knew she had thought about it carefully, and it was from both her heart and her head. I didn’t make any other promises, but I assured her that I would care for the children and be there for Ted.

And then I cried.

The months passed, and I tried to pretend – to deny the inevitable. Wrong diagnosis. Miracle cure. All a bad dream...

The facts, however, did not change.

********

I can’t bring myself to talk about the time around Candace’s death. Lauren phoned me, I flew up from Houston, as we agreed, and she and Matt and Jane and Ben drove me...

I don’t want to talk about it.

********

Now, after all this time, none of us really knows. When she arranged for me to spend those weeks with her children – and with her husband – did Candace have some premonition of what was to come?

Or perhaps, being Candace, she was simply making an emergency plan – a backup, a “plan B,” in case anything should ever happen, and she wanted to be sure that her children, and her beloved Teddy, would be taken care of.

God help me, I miss that little girl every day.

********

One of the things we had talked about “before” was where we would live. Matt and James found a place in their building, one whose owner was retiring to Arizona but still wanted to keep his condo unit as a rental property. So a month or so after Candace’s death (I still cry, just writing those words), Lauren arranged for the real estate and relocation division of her financial services company to buy Candace’s and Ted’s house and arrange our move into the condo. Matt and Ben also arranged office space and facilities in Matt’s company so Ted would be able to continue his graphic design business from there without having to worry about the practical details.

We also knew that this was only an “interim” solution – for all of us. All told, we had eight adults and five growing children, with some pretty co-mingled family lives. We had talked about this for some time, and finally, later that year, we sold “our” condos (actually, James and Matt and Janey and Lauren sold their condo, and Ted and the children and I moved out of the unit he’d been renting) and we all moved into two houses, in a new development in one of the older Western suburbs. The schools were good, and we were able to find both houses that were within our means. Lauren and Matthew and little Paul, James and Mai, Jane and Ben and Christiana shared a six-plus bedroom house with lots of bathrooms – a McMansion, true, but it fit their needs, with lots of room to grow, if necessary.

Ted and the children and I moved into in a four-bedroom ranch-style house on the other side of the cul-de-sac from Lauren’s and Matthew’s and James’s house. Eddie had the smallest room, and Caleen and Shana shared the larger one. I lived in what would normally be the “master” bedroom, while Ted slept in the fourth bedroom, which doubled as an office when he worked from home. Our children were together constantly.

********

Caleen was worried about her daddy.

Shana was barely a year old when Mommy died, and she missed the first Mommy for a while, but she quickly took to the affections of the new Mommy, Nonna Georgia (which she could almost say now – “Nona-ja“).

Eddie knew that Mommy got really sick, and that she died, and he knew that they’d never be able to see Mommy again. But Nonna Georgia came “a tow’sand miles” – he wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew it must mean a very long way away -- to be their new Mommy, and she loved them and looked after them like their first Mommy did, so everything would be OK.