AKA Stephanie or Slim Chance and None
Copyright© 2020 by Yob
Chapter 14: CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE
“Happy birthday, Daughters and Moms.”
So, it’s simple. Family vacation honeymoon, two Moms and two bride daughters with us, both bisexual like their Mom.
Smart kids. Apples fall near the tree. I’m a proud papa.
“Hmmm! Something smells wonderfully good.”
I lift the lid, hover over and sniff the simmering pot’s aroma.
“Leave that alone. That’s for tomorrows party.”
Grandma is a tartar in her own kitchen. Don’t mess with Mamma’s pots when she’s cooking. Best tactic, is steer clear.
“So, did the girls solve your problem for you?”
“I haven’t yet talked with Missy. Paula offered some decent input.”
“Decent? That girl will never cease to amaze me. Did you explain your Siamese twins idea to her. I expected her to scratch your eyes out.”
“What haven’t you discussed with me? Who’s decent? Who’s scratching whose eyes out?”
“Come on in, Missy, your Dad was just looking for you. Wants to enlist you in a harebrained scheme of his. Surprises hell out of me, but apparently, Paula likes it, to hear him tell it.”
“What scheme Daddy?”
“Well, it’s still in germination stage...”
“Ew! Yucky! Germs! I don’t think I want to hear it.”
“Okay, you and Grandma can stay home, while the rest of us go on family vacation together. Car’s less crowded this way. Thanks for the valuable input, Pumpkin!”
The pair nearly ripped my shirt off, trying to restrain my departure from the kitchen, towing them. I made it as far as the dining room before they raced around to face me down.
“Explain that fucked up conclusion, if you can, and you better make it good!”
Grandma is a tartar in and out of the kitchen, if her dander’s up. Missy’s face is a dark thunder cloud twin of Grandma’s.
“What’s up? Somebody drink directly from the milk bottle?”
“Sammy my darling!”
Grandma and Missy jab stiff fingers into my chest, recalling me to their issue’s priority.
“What’s all the fussing about?”
The gangs all here. Paula joins the fray, right behind Sammy.
“Okay, everybody just settle down. Can we sit down?”
I sit myself down with the dining table as a defensive bulwark between me and the encircling women, all seeking my scalp. Silvered tongue, don’t fail me now!
“Please, ladies, be seated. Tomorrows party is more than Paula’s birthday celebration, it’s everyones at once I’m told. My proposal is, we increase the festivity with two weddings. I invite Missy and Paula to jump the broom with me tomorrow. I’m already madly in love with both my daughters and couldn’t bear for another man to have either. I wish to claim them as brides for myself. Sammy? We never had our honeymoon. I owe you one, and it’s past time I delivered. Will you accompany me on a belated honeymoon? My new brides, our daughters, will share in the honeymoon with you. No family gathering is complete without Grandma, so would you Momma? Please ramrod this family vacation and honeymoon, before I make a complete botch of it?”
The sun comes out around our family table. The smiles are that bright! I reach in my breast pocket for my ever available sunglasses, and hide my relief behind them. Whew, a close one.
I couldn’t in good conscience leave Grandma at home alone.
Also in good conscience, I should explain for my readers, how a fifteen year old Lincoln Navigator SUV, a model first produced in 1998, can exist out of time, in a story set in 1980. The author, you understand, is from the future present? And simply inserted the car into the past. Amazing technology, writing. Enables time travel either or both directions, and to galaxies far, far away, by merely scribbling.
OR, explaining it another way, I fucked up when imagining the scene, the women returning home with the groceries.
Out of time again, gotta go. Bye!
( Will they buy it, Momma? 😎 ) 1980 to be,
Continued later.
Cappy finishes his mission, returning Mr. Smith to Yellowstone, and returning to Gothenburg, with more than just Cowboy. He brings intel. News. A report important to Slim. Stephanie has been located. Apparently, Mrs. Franklin was less than forthright, when replying to Slim’s phoned inquiry. She may have indeed been truthful denying knowledge of Stephanie’s precise whereabout at that moment. But, she well knew the information Slim sought wasn’t GPS coordinates, but whether the Franklins had given Stephanie sanctuary. Failure to disclose that information, crossed the line to dishonesty, an intention to mislead, misinform. Slim appreciates Stephanie has loyal friends and supporters. The Franklin family is demoted several levels, however, in Slim’s confidence and respect. Ranger Red falls into disfavor with them. Who can you trust? Yourself only, and be careful you don’t place too much trust even there. You can let yourself down! The Franklins let themselves down, in Slim’s estimation. Pissed because he can’t rush over there and beard them in their deception, he settles for the nearest best thing. He phones.
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