Chapter 6

Katie-Girl called later that morning.

“You’re not mad because we took your car, are you, boy?”

She was testing me. I had to be careful here because if I got mad, it would disappoint her.

“Of course not, honey.” Yes, I said that.

“Where is the psycho?” No, I did not say that.

“Thank you, Cully. It’s meant the world to Tommy. And to me too, boy. That’s very kind of you. And he looks so cool driving it.”

She never said that about me behind that wheel.

No, she had. Three times.

“Where’s he at?”

“Using the men’s room. I told him I was going to check on you, make sure you got my note. We ate at Country Kitchen. We both had the corn beef hash. And we got you a surprise from there. You’ll see when we get home.”

I perked up. “What is it? Is it a piece of their strawberry rhubarb pie?”

“I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just have to wait. And we found the cutest top for me to wear on the drive-along. I wanted something new, and Tommy said I looked beautiful in it. I tried it on and showed him. He’s so generous, boy.”

“Help me!” I softly declared aloud after covering the mouthpiece.

“I can’t wait to see you, Cully. I’ve missed you this morning. Well, we’ll all be together tonight. I’ll have you both to myself. Got to go, baby, here he comes. See you soon. Love you, boy.”

I tried to edge in an (I love you) but, she cut the line. Probably was picking her up as I looked at the dead phone.

“What’d you say?”

“I said: he was probably picking her up in his arms!”

It was difficult to relax in their absence.

No Girl. No car. No Tommy.

I couldn’t even find solace in the television. Sat there, dark screen and all

“What if she leaves you for him?” Aloud to that black screen, my reflection in shadow.

“Oh-my-God.”

“Get up and pace. Now!”

I obeyed myself and paced for a while. Up to the bedroom, back to mine. The panic released about the ninth circuit. Exhausted by the panic attack and release, I sat out on the patio and enjoyed a Black Watch.

“At least you’ll get custody of Robert Burns.”

“Very funny.”

“She’s not going to leave you.’

“I need a guarantee.”

“I haven’t got one for you.”

“I know, I know.”

I heard it before I saw them. The Road Runner climbing that one-way hill lawfully looked spectacular thru that tree line of maples. I’d never seen it that-a-way because I was always driving it.

And Tommy?

“Lord-a-mighty, she’s right: he does look cool.”

Hell, together, black and white---they looked hot.

I just remained out on the patio. [Hid out there] was more like it.

“Hey, Cully, we saw you sitting out here as we passed by. We waved, you must not have seen us.”

She didn’t even step down the stairs. She just hopped on down.

“Where’s Tommy?”

“He’s going to take a bit of a nap before we leave.”

“Is he okay?”

“Yes, he’s just a little tuckered out. I’m going to lay down with him after I spend a few minutes with my Cully-boy. Can I sit on your lap?”

“Uh-oh.” To-my-self.

“Sure, sweetheart.”

“I missed you this morning, Cul.”

She settled in, all soft and warm.

“Girl, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, Cully.”

“Cully, we didn’t do anything serious, but you know that parking garage at Crossroads Mall?”

“Girl, what happened to my car?”

“Oh, no, it’s not that. Is that what you were thinking, pumpkin? Goodness no. It’s not your car, and I thank you so much for not getting mad about that, Cully. Tommy loves driving it so much. I hope you’ll let him do it again. It would make him so darn happy.”

“If it isn’t the car, what is it then? And yes, he can drive my car whenever he wants. No problem.”

Let him do the driving. He looked better sittin’ in that driver’s seat than I did. I’d either ride shotgun or drive the Jeep. I’d make that sacrifice.

“Cully, you’re so sweet!” She hugged my neck and kissed my cheek.

“Girl, just spill the beans about the garage for the love of Pete.”

She furrowed her brow and told it:

“All we did was kiss Cul. Don’t get mad. It wasn’t him. I wanted to kiss him, and I didn’t want to do it out in the open, because I know that bothers you. I made him drive into the garage. We kept going higher and higher and higher, around and around until we found a level where there were hardly any other cars. It was the level under the top level. No other cars at all, I swear, Cully. I wanted to kiss him. He didn’t want to go up there, but I forced him more or less. Are you mad?”

I couldn’t help but laugh aloud. “Girl, you are something else again.”

“I am? You’re not mad?”

“No, I’m not mad. How long were you up there?”

“Only about twenty minutes, all we did was kiss and hug. Tommy needs affection, Cully. He’s starved for it. And I believe that’s why he had that attack last night. I need to hold him. When I held him during that attack last night, he calmed down, remember? You were there. I hummed to him, he settled right down and fell back asleep, sound asleep. I need to hold him, and I need to hum and sing to him at night. If it’s okay, I’d like to go in there right now, lay down with him, and just calmly talk to him and perhaps sing to him till he falls asleep and has a little nap before we leave for that drive-along. Can I go to him now, Cully? He needs me and no hanky panky, just hugs, not even kisses, just hugs, and humming. Please?”

“Girl, you need more sleep too. You’re all wound up.”

“I know I do, but I have too much to do with you two guys. I have to take care of you both now. I have two guys now instead of just one. I won’t let either of you down. He needs me, Cully. Okay?”

“Sure, go ahead, I’m going to shower and get ready, so you’ll have plenty of hot water. You’re going to take another bath?”

“Definitely. I want to look extra special nice tonight. I’m going to wear my new top Tommy bought me. You’ll love it, hon.”

She hopped off, threw me a kiss, and was gone.

I relit and finished my Black Watch.

I wasn’t going to look, but I could hear Girl’s voice. She was softly singing. So I crept on down. She held him in her arms again as he slept. She pantomimed her love for me then continued with her song. This one, yes, this one I knew by heart. We both did. I’d shown her one time on the TV, before the VCR.

“I’ll be damned. Girl. Now! Hurry! Remember me telling you about this episode (The Andy Griffith Show)? Watch this, honey-bun.”

“Come to the church by the wildwood Oh, come to the church in the vale No spot is so dear to my childhood As the little brown church in the vale”

The next time I would hear this tune, Tommy’s mother would be singing it to me.

The surprise did indeed turn out to be the strawberry rhubarb pie. Scrumptious. I wolfed it down as I awaited the arrival of the Duchess and Duke of greater Bellevue, Nebraska.

He looked damn impressive in his uniform. As Tommy strapped on his gun belt Girl, in her gorgeous new top and hundred dollar jeans, briefed us on the pressing issues of the adventure ahead:

“Now listen up. I want us to have a good time. This evening is our first outing as a unit, the nucleus. Let’s be extra kind and patient with one another and not talk over one another, Cully. Now, since Cully was so kind as to let you drive, Tommy, you’ll get in on the driver’s side. I’ll get into the back thru Cully’s side, and then Cul will drive in the front passenger seat. Now I want you two to shake hands. That’s for good luck.”

We hesitated.

“Go on!”

We gave in and obeyed, Tommy all smiles.

“Okay, now let us bow our heads, and I’ll say a prayer.”

“Girllll.” Me

“Bow your head!”

“Cully, if you’ll start us off, darling.”

It couldn’t hurt, so I got it started.

“In the name of the Father and of the Son and the holy ghost, we pray.”

“Please protect our new friend tonight, oh, mighty Father. He is our brother and a police officer. My husband and I will be traveling with him on his beat tonight. These are two good men, God. True of heart and sound stock, raised by mothers with love. They are in my charge, and I shall care for them always. We are a God-fearing family, Lord. Please understand our situation. Your light shall guide us. In your name, Jesus, Amen.”

“Amen.” Tommy

“Amen.” Me

“Thank you, both. I feel better now. We’ll have a good time, and Tommy will be safe. Hurry, we don’t want to be late for our drive-along.”

As God was our witness and in broad daylight---two o’clock of the afternoon, we went out that door. Tommy led us, then me, with Girl at-the-last. I never looked anywhere but straight to the earth.

It was strange riding shotgun. But, one glance across, and it couldn’t be any other way. Tommy would drive from that day on. Girl took a spot that she would occupy for most of our time together. Edge of the back seat, just about right behind Tommy’s right ear.

“Tommy, don’t ever go down that hill. It’s one-way, the way we came up earlier. Cully goes down there just to aggravate.”

“Should I give him a ticket, baby-girl?”

“Oh, Tommy, feelin’ his oats, eh?” To-my-self.

“That’s a good idea. Teach boy a lesson.”

Once we cleared the park and got on the road, she made sure to initiate some manner of physical connection with the man. Just a touch. A pat on his shoulder. Wet a finger and touch up his hair.

And Tommy? He kept an eye on her in the rearview mirror. Then she found the angle, and they played that way ever so softly.

It was a terrific turn-on for me.

“Tommy?”

“What baby-girl?”

“Nothing, I just like saying your name out loud.”

“Give me a break.” To-my-self.

“You look so pretty.”

“Thank you. I want to look pretty for you, Tommy. Just for you and boy.”

He’d settled on “baby-girl” as his go-to call for her. And that call would sustain throughout our time.

We’d leave the Plymouth at his apartment where the cruiser was. Then we’d simply drop it back off after the shift and drive back in the Plymouth.

“Can I sit in the front with you, Tommy, or not?” As we pulled in next to the squad car.

“No, I can’t do that, angel. I already told you, remember?”

“I know that, but I want to, Tommy. I won’t be able to see sitting in the back. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

It was like trying to explain to her why I couldn’t tell her anything about SAC HQ and working underground there with a TS EBI clearance.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. Just my mother, and she won’t say anything. What are you doing down in there? Just tell me. I’m your wife. You’re allowed to tell your wife. Don’t be selfish, Dale.”

“No. I can’t do it. I’d lose my clearance, get into trouble, lot’s of trouble, Girl.”

“You wouldn’t a got that clearance if I hadn’t lied to that government man.”

“I never told you to lie.”

“Baloney, when they came to my house and asked me about our relationship, I told them that you were my boyfriend. But, I didn’t tell him about you wanting to see it and you telling me to touch yours. You told me not to, Dale. I said you were a good boy and that we only kissed twice on prom night when you took me downtown Cleveland to The Theatrical and that we were engaged to be married.”

“And another thing that one investigator was mean. I wouldn’t talk to him, so he switched with the one talking to my dad. He was a lot nicer, even cute. And when I shook his hand, I made sure to glance his skin. And you got that clearance, buster, didn’t you? Now tell me!”

I finally had to call mother long-distance and get her to talk the Looney bird out of nagging me. Girl relented, apologized, and didn’t bring it up as often.

I’d hope this wasn’t going to turn into that.

“How bout I take you shopping again tomorrow and buy you a new hat instead. Okay, baby-girl?”

“That’s so sweet of you, Tommy. Yes, thank you. I can’t wait.”

He’d never learn, or maybe he had, and Tommy’s was the wise move after all.

The view from the back seat was a bit marred. A Plexiglas shield covered the entire space twixt front and back seats. Small holes had been drilled with no planned design so one could converse with the officer and so airflow would be enabled. I didn’t complain, and neither did “Hat Girl.”

He passed the waiver papers back thru the opening slit.

“Sign these guys, so it’s all taken care of.”

I was shocked when Girl didn’t make a federal case out of it. She signed, collected mine, and slid them back thru.

“Here you are, sweetheart. You look so cute in your uniform, Tommy.”

And once again, they found one another in the rearview mirror. And once again, I found it incredibly adorable.

Got on the two way radio and set up communication with the dispatcher. A woman named Joyce. Girl didn’t like that---I could tell right off. Joyce had a sexy voice. And I built a woman to that voice in my gourd as Tommy conducted his shift that day turned into night. Well, half-his-shift anyway. I learned fast that Girl wanted no other woman close to Tommy.

On the first traffic stop, Girl put her foot down before anything got writ:

“Tommy?”

“What, baby?”

She leaned forward and spoke right into a gaggle of drilled holes:

“Don’t give them a ticket, just give them a warning. I don’t want those people to have to pay any money.”

They locked in the rearview.

He lined right up. “Sure, baby-girl, just the warning.”

“Thank you, darling.” He collected his accouterments and walked to the lucky man’s car.

“Girl, you can’t do that. He’s a professional. It’s his job. That’s wrong.”

“Malarkey. He said okay, didn’t he?”

Lowered her voice to a whisper (like Joyce could hear us):

“I don’t like that Joyce woman, do you?”

I nipped it: “Girl, nothing is going on, and you know it. He’s devoted to you.”

And he was, we’d go out together, the three of us. Never, ever did I see that man ogle other women, not-one-time. I had to quit doing it because I was embarrassed that he didn’t, and I felt an ass doing it in his presence, much less hers. He led by example. He never did anything behind Girl’s back that he wouldn’t do to her face. I had to quit doing that because he didn’t do it. I’d a stood out like a sore thumb if I hadn’t.