Chapter 40

Alan feels a heavy weight in his stomach as he sits anxiously in his car, debating whether to go in or just go home. The last time he talked to Kennedy was on the phone. He blew off every appointment he had with her, thinking that his life was going great and there was no need to see her anymore. But now that he is here, ready for his appointment with her, he feels like he has done something naughty and now he is going to be punished by his mother. If he waits too much longer he is going to miss his time and then he is going to really need to explain himself to Kennedy. No, I need this. He looks out across the empty parking lot and makes up his mind.

He leaves his car and walks into the office and is immediately met by Kennedy. “I was wondering if you were going to come in or if I needed to come out and get you,” she says, sounding cheery. “You seem to be off your game.”

Alan offers her a smile. “I think I may be.”

“Then let’s get started,” she suggest, leading him into her office. She closes the door behind him and then takes the chair across from him. “Alright, so fill me in on what has happened since I spoke to you last.”

Alan’s eyes go to her tank top, making out just the edge of her black bra. Her perfect cleavage is framed dramatically by the shirt. “I’ve finally had sex with Sandy.”

“Oh?” she asks, surprised. “And how did that go?”

“It was fun,” he says, sounding casual about it. But then his optimism goes up. “It was actually better than I thought it would be.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” the therapist says. “Is that why you’ve blown off our appointments?”

Now is the part that he was dreading. “Kind of,” he admits. “I’ve met a few people, some of whom helped me get there. But then there is the problem with Debbie.”

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that she does not approve,” she assumes.

He nods. “She participated in some play with Sandy and another dog. I thought she was okay with it because she said she would give it a try.”

“And she wasn’t,” Kennedy surmises. “Did you two have a fight about it?”

He shakes his head. “No, as a matter of fact we talked about it after it happened. She wanted me to give up the women and Sandy.”

“And you disagreed?”

Again, he shakes his head. “Actually I agreed to do all that, even give up Sandy.” His face drops at mentioning the last part.

“And you feel bad for that one,” she says, stating the obvious.

Alan nods. “I said I would, and I meant it. But afterward I cannot believe I would have done that.”

“Because you love Sandy so much,” she says with a nod. “It’s normal.”

He glares at the woman. “How is that normal?”

“Well, you tell me,” she suggests. “Tell me about some of these people you met. I mean, if they got you to finally go the distance, there must be something special about them.”

Alan grins. “Well, first there is Cathleen. She was the one I fucked when you gave me the assignment not to fuck someone.” He blushes a little. “Well, that failed, but I did try. She actually was friends with another woman I met that was into fucking dogs.”

“Was?”

“They’re now a couple,” he informs her.

“Ah,” Kennedy says. “And have you been with either one since?”

He shakes his head. “I thought about it, but then I met Hilda. She is the one that finally got me to take a step over the edge.”

“I’m glad to hear that, considering I wasn’t able to get you to,” she says, though there is not a single hint of animosity, only professionalism. “Have you seen Hilda since?”

“That all happened last night,” he admits.

“Oh,” she says, seemingly taken aback. “I am certainly glad that you decided to reach back out to me immediately. So let’s get down to the root of the problem while it is fresh.”

“Okay,” he says.

“We know that you regret your willingness to give up Sandy,” Kennedy continues. “Is it because you love her so much or because you love the feel of her?”

“Both?” he says, making it sound like a question. “But if it normal to love a dog like I would a human?”

Kennedy shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says. “You tell me. What makes you doubt it?”

He too shrugs. “Well before I met Hilda, I would say that it was weird, but now I’m not sure.”

“And why do you think that?”

“Well, she told me about how she enjoys relationships and sex with dogs more than men,” he explains. “At first I didn’t understand, but after fucking Sandy, I am beginning to understand a little.”

“To me it sounds perfectly normal,” the doctor replies. “Is it that you’re not sure of yourself or afraid of something else?”

“I want both,” he says in a way that sounds more like a question than an answer.

“No doubt,” Kennedy agrees. “And is there a reason you shouldn’t?”

“Well, I ... I believe I fell in love with Debbie,” he admits. “And I would like to be with her, but I can’t.”

“And why not?”

“She doesn’t want me to contact her,” he informs her.

“Have you tried?” He shakes his head. “Maybe you should.”

“Is that wise?”

“Why not?” Kennedy counters. “You’ve never shied away from anything in your life, which is why you are as successful as you are now.”

Alan sighs. “You’re right, but at the same time I cannot give up Sandy.”

“I’m not saying that you should,” she says with a grin.

Alan returns her grin. “Are you suggesting that I hide it from her?”

Kennedy shrugs. “I should probably suggest the opposite, but I’m your therapist and it is my goal to make you better.”

The idea of having both is appealing to the man. To have Debbie while keeping Sandy anytime he wants makes his cock grow hard. He is very aware that the outline of his hardness is visible. The thoughts make him feel so dirty. I tis wrong to do such a thing, but at the same time, Kennedy is right. Whenever he has set his mind to getting something, Alan has always gotten it.