Chapter 1

I got into bed with my fiance the way I had done most every night for a year. But two things were heavy on my mind. First, she and I would be married in less than a week. Before I met Alex, I hadn’t fully decided that I could spend the rest of my life with a woman. I had considered it many times. But I always wondered if it was just my physical attraction to girls that influenced the thoughts of actually marrying a woman. Or, if it went deeper. When I got together with Alex, I knew it was much deeper than Sex. (Even though the sex is beyond belief.)

The second thing weighing so heavy on me was what I had to tell Alex. I pretty sure she would understand why I did the things I did before I knew her, as well as why it was so important to me to tell her prior to our wedding. I had to make her aware of the turn my life had taken a year before I met her. And I wanted her to know about the mistake I made that changed my relationship with my father forever.

“I need to talk to you about something,” I said.

“Let me guess,” Alex replied. “Something about the wedding? Or how much you adore my pussy?”

I laughed.

“Yes and yes. But seriously, I first want to say how much I love and adore you, Alex. You’ve completed my life in every way and I cannot wait to be able to call you my wife.”

“Oh, Gretchen,” she said softly. “I feel exactly the same way. But is something up besides how close the wedding is? You seemed really serious just then.”

We were lying on our sides looking at each other.

“There is something I need to tell you about,” I said. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you. But now that our wedding is a week away, I have to tell you.”

“OK,” Alex said, suddenly looking concerned. “But ... you’re worrying me a little.”

I wanted to say something to reassure her that it was no big deal. But what I was going to tell her was a big deal.

“Just listen for a bit, OK?” was the best I could do. “You know how close I am with my dad.”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Well, there’s more to it than just a close father-daughter relationship.”

“You’re in love with him,” Alex said without exhibiting any particular emotion.

The shock I felt took some of my breath away.

“Wh ... what? What ... why would you say that?”

“Gretch, when we met, you told me about how close you are with your dad before you told me almost anything else. We were at a club, loud music, lots of other girls partying with us, dancing like mad, much alcohol and so on. You introduced yourself to me, told me you were an athlete, which I knew already ... takes one to know one. We started dancing and you told me how close you were with your father.”

“Oh. I did?”

“Yes, Honey. Don’t get me wrong. I love him. I love both your parents. I love you more than anything in the world. But the more I’ve been around you and your dad, the more convinced I’ve become that you’re in love with him. And, that he’s in love with you just the same.”

My eyes slowly welled with tears as I stared at my beautiful fiance.

“Alex, I ... How could you ... Really? You knew that? Aren’t you mad?”

“Gretchen,” she said soothingly. “Honey...” she came close and kissed me gently. “You mean everything to me and I can’t wait to be married to you. But no, I’m not mad. Why would I be mad?”

“Well, maybe when I tell you the next part, you will be. My love for my father hasn’t exactly been just emotional. Not just like a ... crush.” Alex was paying close attention now. “I desired him since I was at least fourteen.”

“Desired? What does that mean, exactly?”

“Just what it sounds like. He was the first male I ever, wanted. I fantasized about him constantly.”

“Fantasized like how, Gretch?”

I took a deep breath, then continued.

“Well, from fantasizing I was his wife and we lived happily ever after, to fantasizing that I was his horny slut daughter and everything in between.”

“Holy shit.”

“I know, holy shit. Believe me, I know.”

“Did he know any of this? Did he know how you felt?”

“I tried to make him see it a million times. I was flirtatious with him for years. Sometimes even in front of my mom. I took every chance to show him my body, to let him touch me. You should have seen me when my dad and I played in the pool. I was all over him. But no matter how forward I was, he never took it seriously.”

“OK. I’m still not sure what you think I should be mad about.”

“I wanted him, Alex! I wanted my father! I...”

“You wanted him to fuck you. Right?” I got a little teary and nodded my head. “Am I supposed to hate you for that or something?”

“You don’t think that’s super twisted? Perverted? Fucked-up?”

Alex paused and took a few breaths before continuing.

“Gretchen ... OK, sure. Of course it’s fucked-up. But who cares? Who’s not fucked-up in some ways? I mean let’s face it. We’re two women in our twenties who are going to walk down the fucking aisle and get married. You don’t think a large percentage of people think that’s unnatural ... fucked-up? I’ve had plenty of twisted fantasies and done things other people would think were pervy. I’m the last person who’s going to judge you.”

“I can’t believe you’re being so cool about this.”

“Look Gretch, I’m totally in love with you. I understand how amazing you are. So, I understand how your dad feels about you. He looks at you the way I look at you. And Honey, I love him. I mean, I love both your parents, but your dad is super special. I’ve only been with a couple guys in my life, but if you don’t mind me saying so, I could see me fantasizing about your dad.”

I grabbed her and held her close to me. More tears were coming to my eyes. I buried my face in her neck.

“Honey,” Alex said, “I told you I’m fine. Why are you still upset?”

I tried to collect myself before going on. I pulled back a little so we could look at each other again.