Chapter 14

Wednesday morning, after I’d returned a couple of ‘urgent’ calls to get them out of the way, I checked my office door was fully closed so Helga couldn’t hear me, and speed-dialed Mel. She’d told me when I checked in with her the night before that she was doing some post-production work that day, so I knew she’d have her phone switched on and be able to answer.

It was time to simplify things. I’d pondered and I’d considered and I’d reflected and I’d evaluated – you get the picture – and I’d made it FAR too complicated. There wasn’t a detail I hadn’t agonized over. Basically, I’d overthought it, tried to consider every single facet just in case I’d missed one. It’s one of my failings. Now I knew where I wanted to be, it was time to get there.

Once again, Mel sounded real down when she picked up; no trace of the normal delight that I’d called her. Her voice was flat and tired, and I guessed that tears were not far away. I didn’t waste any time. I couldn’t yet say with certainty ‘we’ll be fine‘, but my thoughts were certainly headed well down that road, and she needed to be given that hope before she got herself any more despondent. “Mel, sweetie, you and the girls want to sleepover at my place tonight so we can talk some more? Please?”

She squeaked something. I guessed she had immediately worked out that a sleepover invitation didn’t indicate being dumped. After a few seconds she had gotten her happy voice back. “Tonight? You want me to come over? Really?”

“Yup. Plan on eating breakfast with me.”

I could hear her let out a deep breath of relief. There was now a noticeable note of hope in her voice, something that confirmed my guess that hope had been missing for the last few days. “I guess you really do think we can make this work out?”

“By my reckoning, I’m 95% there. Need to run a few minor things past you, though. I’ll be home by six?”

“I’ll be there!”

“I love you, Mel!”

There was another squeak, then a muffled reply. “I love you too, Mike. Now I’m going to lock myself in the restroom and cry my fucking eyes out.”

“See you tonight, sweetie!”

I cut the call, opened the door and asked Helga to step in. “Mom, can you ask Pop if he can spare us ten minutes this morning? I need to talk to the two of you together, please.”

She had started to grin as I called her ‘Mom’, but quickly got a serious expression again as she realized it wasn’t a mere social call. “Sure, I’ll give him a call. Want to tell me what it’s about?”

“Mel’s coming over tonight to talk. Serious stuff. I badly need some advice, personal and professional.”

Helga is a gem. I may have already mentioned that fact. She was calm and cool. “Not a problem. If you ask Clifford for some written advice, for heaven’s sake get me to transcribe it before you try reading it.”

The joke helped ease the tension. Clifford might not win any calligraphy contests, but his handwriting is a whole lot better than mine, and I’m only too well aware of that. I don’t know exactly what Helga said to her husband to get him moving so fast, but the two of them were in my doorway not fifteen minutes later. I closed the door behind them and sat them down at my little meeting table. “Doc, what do I owe you for ten minutes private consultation?”

“You paying cash? Oh, a dime will do. I know they say that advice is only worth what you pay for it, but let’s pretend that you would have paid me around two hundred before taking off the family discount?”

I rummaged in my pocket and passed him the first coin that came out, a quarter. “Thanks! Keep the change!”

He chuckled. “That’s what I call a big tip, percentage wise. Wish more of my patients would do that. Okay, Mike, what do you want to confess?”

“I’m in love with Mel, and she’s in love with me. I can’t think of spending the rest of my life without her, and it’s mutual. She’s the one. I’m seeing her tonight, hopefully to tell her how I feel. I want her to be with me for the rest of our lives.”

His expression went deadly serious. “But?”

I shrugged, “Exactly. But. It’s one heck of a ‘but’. She told me Saturday that she’s a retired porn star. She was completely honest, didn’t hold anything back, told me her porn name so I could see exactly what she’d done when she was in the industry. She was a big star; made a whole lot of porn movies. I’m pretty sure that I’m okay with that now, but I’ve two, no, make that three, remaining doubts. The easy one is her; I’m pretty sure that she’s genuinely retired, even though she’s now behind the cameras and in post-production work. The difficult one is me, knowing how many studs she’s been with over ten years in the industry, and wondering if I’m ever going to be up to the job. The third is us, how hard we’re going to have to try to make this work out for both of us.”

Clifford proved he was a true professional. He didn’t bat an eyelash at that revelation. Helga had initially let out a short gasp of shock at my words, but was now silent and concerned. “Okay, I’ve got that. Question for you before I answer them; exactly what is your ... preferred end state?”

I shrugged, remembered the reasons why I’d signed up to the dating site, and went for broke. “Golden and hopefully diamond wedding celebrations surrounded by our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, in our garden full of roses and a white picket fence? That’s what Mel says she wants as well.”

He smiled. “Great! Loving your attitude. No half measures, no pretense. We’ve just got to get you there. Your first worry. You trust her? Think she’s being straight with you?”

“Absolutely. I can’t fault her for not dropping it on me until we knew each other a lot better, and I guess she came clean with me just as soon as she could, when she was sure she could trust me to share such a secret. Yeah, I genuinely believe that she wants to put that behind her.”

“Okay, you’ve done well realizing that. That’s not going to be a huge problem, though it wouldn’t surprise me if you suffer renewed doubts every so often; that would be perfectly normal. Helga, you can cover your ears now if you wish?”

“And miss out on the juiciest gossip this office has ever heard? No way!”

Our laughter relieved some of the tension.

“Mike, I’m guessing that you’re far from inexperienced between the sheets yourself. Some of the ladies we’ve introduced to you have told us what a nice guy you are, and kinda hinted that they tried you out in the bedroom and were very happy with that, just that there was still a bit of reserve that didn’t match what one or both of you were looking for.”

I tried not to blush; I guess I should have considered that some of the dates I’d met through Helga might have reported back; after all, many of them had been her – or her kids’ – friends first. “Okay, I’ll ‘fess up to that one. It’s been a while since I had any complaints.”

“Good answer. I’m pretty sure you’ll be okay; I can help you out a little medically if performance anxiety ever does become a problem, but from what Helga tells me, Mel’s seriously good-looking.”

I showed him the photo on my smartphone. He shook his head. “Boy, you want to seek urgent professional help if a girl like that doesn’t get your motor going like you were tuned up for the Indianapolis 500. OK, the last question, how hard are you going to have to work together to achieve what you want? Incredibly hard. More than you’ve ever put into any previous relationship. Marriage is like that, a whole new league if you want to make it the very best you can. The harder you work at it, the stronger it gets. The main thing I’d advise is that you talk, talk, talk; talk like you never opened up to anyone before. If she’s told you such a dangerous secret, trusted you THAT much, then absolute honesty has got to be your number one rule. She’s held out her chest prepared for you to rip her heart right out of her body, like one of those Aztec human sacrifices, and I’m guessing that she’d happily take a bullet for you if you treat her right.”

That took a moment to sink in. “Wow!”