Chapter 4

This was an unusual Saturday: coffee with Ms. Strelnicov in the morning on the way to work a St. Bart’s. Then on my way home, she was working in her garden and waved me in as I was passing on my bicycle. Inviting me to share a glass of iced tea on the patio she gave me a blowjob which ended up fucking on the outside couch. Then all of this.

I do not know the extent to which Sister Natalie, Mother Superior of St. Bartholomew’s Catholic Church had to do with me being there or if this was just another wild coincidence that was happening to me without explanation. It was Sister Natalie who introduced me to sex and seduced me then coaxed me to service the rest of her black-habited flock, something even I would not have believed even in a book. What young teenager could even dream of that kind of scenario. The concept of a naïve youth fucking “celibate” holy women in their convent was beyond the grasp of any normal person.

The absurd unbelievability of such things happening to me was one of the reasons I would never breathe a word of my sexual undertakings at the convent to any of my friends. They would never believe me. And if they did, they would be hanging around the convent like vultures waiting to get a piece of prime meat for themselves. That was the reason Sister Natalie was so blatant in her pursuit of me. She must have known no one would have believed such a tale from a horny kid like me.

Because of her investment in this postpubescent my self-confidence with females, from my age at the time to women as mature as Rina Strelnicov, became magnetism. I lost all fear of rejection and even understood the probability or impossibility of the likelihood of getting into their pants.

In Rina’s case, she seemed naturally attracted to me. She sensed the sexual sophistication Mother Superior’s investment brought forth in me. Then I thought of Mother Superior as a mother hen who looked out for her chicks. In some way could Irina Strelnicov have been one of those chicks? I recalled Sister Natalie saying, “She’s lonely Toby, VERY lonely.” Then she cautioned me, “You are never to say anything to Mrs. Strelnicov about our discussion.” Then “If something other than conversation goes on between the two of you, you are never to say anything to ME about it ... Are we clear?” What’s up with those two?

Amidst my reverie, I flinched. Rina had slapped my regenerated erection, giggled, and said, “Well big boy you seem to be deep in thought.”

I had the presence of mind to say, “When we were having coffee this morning Rina I kept wondering if I would ever have the chance of putting this thing between your legs.”

“He-he-he. And I dear boy was speculating how I could lure you back here and seduce you into sinking that ‘thing’ inside my aching pussy.”

The product of a Japanese grandfather and a Russian grandmother Irina Hakamada was a shy girl. She still had enough Japanese characteristics to bring attention to the fact that her grandfather was full-blooded Japanese. He had been a Japanese prisoner of war who fought on the winning side of the Russo-Japanese war. Though her father and mother were born in Russia she always felt like an outsider. Her parents were devout Catholics and were extremely strict in her upbringing. She was not allowed to date, and it was understood that she would be going into a convent and becoming a nun.

She became Sister Martha the youngest nun at St. Columban’s in Baltimore. Sister Natalie (nee Kathleen Mclaughlin) was just two years older than she but light years ahead of the younger nun in life experience. She was a member of a staunch Catholic family whose twin brother (Father Francis Mclaughlin) was a promising young priest, aide to the Bishop of Boston as well as being his protégé. The bishop saw in Francis Mclaughlin a rising star.

With Sister Martha’s shy, hesitant ways it was natural for Sister Natalie to become her friend and mentor. Where Martha led a protected childhood Natalie’s, influenced by her mischievous twin brother “Frank,” had been quite adventuresome. Where Martha was a strict adherent to rules Natalie had learned them well enough to know how to break them properly. Being decisive also helped. Natalie was a natural leader who usually got her way when most others backed off.

As two young women, Martha and Natalie talked together and became each other’s confidants. Natalie told Martha she was committed to being a nun but was not committed to doing it by the book. The younger nun was shocked when she asked Martha how she handled her sexual urges. Natalie quite openly told her she had enjoyed sex with her brother Frank from an early age. And during the time of visits to her family home, “Whenever Frank is there, we have sex together.” Natalie imbued Martha with such a strong level of confidentiality that she had no fear of the younger nun ratting her out. Besides, she knew Martha had been struggling from her first days as a nun and was waiting for the proverbial straw to break the camel’s back which would cause Martha to bolt.

Natalie made it a regular occurrence by sneaking into Martha’s cell after lights out in the convent. She would snuggle up to Martha like a spoon and they would talk. They had never done anything sexual before, but it was always comforting for Martha to have a person getting so close to her. Sometimes they would talk for a couple of hours. This night Natalie wanted to assure her young friend that her upcoming meeting with Father Rex was something all the nuns went through at St. Columban’s. Whether or not all the selected nuns enjoyed the assignations they all continued as participants.

Martha avoided answering Natalie’s question about how she handled her sexual urges. Sex had been a taboo issue in her family as was dating, Irina never had a date before entering the convent. But even before menstruation, she had strong urges that she tried to alleviate through masturbation. These efforts while mollified by lightly orgasmic outcomes brought with them a tremendous storehouse of guilt, something she could never admit in the confessional. Sometimes her urges were so strong she masturbated to the point of causing her clitoris to bleed. In becoming a bride of Christ, she had hoped it might bring about a magical acceptance of the mortification of the flesh which would help her gain control over her sexual urges.

When she finished her novitiate, she dreaded going into a convent. The prospect of being a nun for the rest of her life was equivalent to a prison sentence. On the verge of a nervous breakdown from the stress of being sentenced to a life of celibacy, talking with Natalie was the only thing she could do to ease the pain of living such a life. Steeped in the restrictions of Catholic dogma which had been strictly enforced by her parents she was at first mystified by Natalie’s eclectic attitudes. She hoped she too could adopt some of Natalie’s attitudes. Trying them out she found they were bringing her a sense of relief but also confusion to her already churning psyche.

It was Sister Natalie who after Martha had been at the convent for four months told her that Father Rex would be expecting her to come to his office. Natalie said, “He will give you a book called Kama Sutra with illustrations and explanations on how to achieve pleasure from having sex in these positions.”

Wide-eyed with disbelief Martha swallowed in gulps when she said, “Why in the world would he do THAT?”

“He does it with all the new nuns once they have become acclimated to the convent,” Natalie said, “He will hound you unmercifully until you give in.”

“What if I don’t give in?”

“You would be the first.”

“This is OUTRAGEOUS,” Martha said. “Ever since I knew the concept of sex, fornication has been a sin. You’re telling me I am to have sex with a priest?”

“Everybody does it,” Natalie said with a wry smirk. “But the sin is always absolved through confession.”

“So,” Martha asked, “is it that way in all churches and convents?” Sex had always taken a prominent position in her brain, always being mysterious and disturbing. In this discussion with Sister Natalie, sex being guardedly acceptable behavior within the bosom of the church shocked her. She was intrigued by the possibility she could experience something which had always been denied by her parents, her advisors, and her sense of propriety. With all her inner struggles about being forced to become a nun, her hope to be able to escape it, along with her curiosity of what sex would be like, her fear became anticipation of an assignation with Father Rex.

“Not all convents Martha,” Natalie explained. “As in every myth, the ones who break the rules are far fewer than those who obey them. In my case, I am committed to the sisterhood but love sex so much that I find ways to keep the human functioning of my body alive. I have shared with you how sex was a large part of my history with my brother. I am sure both he and I will continue to flourish in this environment even though we will continue breaking the rules.”

Martha worried that Sister Natalie and her brother would be discovered by powerful people in the church who could end their careers. She feared Natalie’s confidence in her might be her undoing, a fear which stiffened her resolve not to be the one to break that confidence. “I appreciate your feelings about this Natalie, but I don’t understand it. And all this nonsense about priests having sex with nuns is such blatant hypocrisy. But I want to have sex so BADLY even though it scares me. It has me on pins and needles. I do not have any respect for Father Rex and prefer he is not the one who introduces me to sex. How can YOU do it?”

“That’s an easy one,” Natalie said with a grin. “I love sex more than I care about respecting a man, it’s simply a function of keeping my body happy. Because of my history with my brother, I am good at it. So, look at it this way; an athlete does not always compete under perfect conditions but stays in shape so he or she can always give a satisfactory performance. I do not need respect for the man or woman having sex with me. But having sex with anyone keeps me in shape. When I have sex with someone, preferably a man, I always hope to be in the best condition to enjoy it the most.”

Martha blurted in total disbelief, “You would have sex with a WOMAN?”

“I’m bi-sexual Martha. Sex is good for me both with either men or women, but I prefer men.”

Of all the nights Natalie had gotten into bed with Martha she had never considered having sex with a woman. She always got sexually excited though when her friend would come in. But she never put together it was Natalie who was exciting her.

The pause was like a nine-month pregnancy when Natalie finally made her droll observation, “So you’re THAT stunned?”

Martha was confused. “I ... I just never con ... CONCEIVED of sex between women.”

“That’s because you’ve led such a sheltered life sweetie. You might not think you can do it with another woman Martha but not only are you capable you are prone to it.”

“I ... I don’t think you’ll ever convince me of THAT.”

“Maybe not. But let’s talk about it after tomorrow, after you have met with Father Rex. When I said sex between priests and nuns doesn’t go on at most churches, I didn’t mention that sex between two nuns goes on more often.”

Trying to get away from the subject of bi-sexuality Martha said, “So what did you do when Father Rex gave you the book?”

“Kama Sutra fascinated me, Martha, I was ENTHRALLED. I read it from cover to cover. I studied the illustrations and masturbated a lot. When I had my next meeting with Father Rex, I told him I was partial to the doggie position.

He said, ‘I’m more interested in Oral Congress,’ which was just a flowery term for a blowjob. Turns out that most men in a cassock prefer being sucked than fucking, if you’ll excuse my language.” She laughed. “But with the doggy position, where the woman bends over and the man takes her from behind it is perfect for a quick fuck: the man can just raise the hem of your habit, pull your panties aside, pull his cock through his fly and fuck you from behind. Not only can it be accomplished quite quickly it is easier to escape unnoticed if you are on the verge of being discovered.”

“So,” Martha said, “if it happens to me what should I do?” Wanting Natalie to know for sure she wouldn’t be a nun for long she went on, “I won’t be here forever Natalie. When I do leave, I hope to eventually find a husband. When I do though, I still would like to be a virgin.”

“It is not a matter of if it happens Martha, it will be when it happens ... at least here at St. Columban’s. If you are intent on leaving the order as a virgin the best thing you can hope for is fellatio. Men love getting blowjobs. Father Rex loves blowjobs ... and he will be expecting you to swallow his sperm when you do it.”

“That sounds so disgusting Natalie absolutely DISGUSTING.”

“Yes, I can imagine you would think that the first time. More females swallow though than you would think, I liked it the first time. I had done it many times before. Knowing something about sperm always makes me realize how in swallowing it you’re ingesting the most productive force in the world.”

“But as relates to you Martha, since sex will be inevitable with Father Rex, fellatio (a blowjob) is the thing for you. I can tell you this though, you might think the aspect of putting a man’s penis in your mouth is strange but, unless you are a different kind of woman, once you do it, you’ll probably be amazed how much you like it, and I am sure you will look forward to the next time. Oral gratification is an interesting thing, sweetie, it’s one of life’s most basic needs. For example: sucking on a nipple might be your first act, other than crying. Accepting that nipple is an instinctual urge. Once you get milk from the nipple it becomes an icon in the scheme of life. Sucking on a lollipop is never objectionable. Once you do it you can easily develop a craving for it. Your favorite food now might have been great from the start. Or you did not like it at all the first time but developed a taste for it along the way. I’m just trying to emphasize the importance of oral gratification.”

“Having a penis in your mouth is like that. I loved it from the start. I even loved the sperm the first time I felt it shooting in my mouth. I swallowed it with relish. For most women, it is an acquired taste. Some never acquire the taste yet do it because they know their lover gets such pleasure from it. But the beauty of a blowjob for you Martha is if you want to keep your virginity intact sucking is the best strategy. When a man comes, he temporarily loses all desire for sex. If he gets hard again just start sucking and you have him. Make him come and he will lose interest again. Ninety percent of the time fellatio will keep most men happy. But you can just worry about that tomorrow.”

Martha sighed.

Natalie said, “You like spooning with me like this don’t you?”