Chapter 4 - Finally, A First Date

So this was it.

A week and a couple of days had passed since Lia had made her bet of how many $3 photos she could sell of her as Miss Puzzle sat on the kitchen stool, all demure’n’shit like. She’d said two dozen, I’d said more. Ever since they went live on her OnlyFans - I’d had an alert, and of course I’d bought one - she’d absolutely refused to say, hint, or even acknowledge how many she’d sold until this morning. Her only communication on the matter was that we agreed that tonight, Tuesday next, was to be our date night, and that I was paying, meaning I’d won and she’d sold more that two dozen.

Right on cue and 7pm the doorbell rang, and as I opened the door, I was greeted by a beaming Lia, dressed in another of what I was beginning to think might be her trademarked slip dresses, this one an equally brief affair in emerald green with a slightly scooped neck, thin spaghetti straps, and matched with almost heelless sandals in a dark green. In place of a clutch purse she had a micro bag slung over her left shoulder. In green. Sequins. Of course it was.

“Wow,” I smiled as I waved her towards the car and closed the door behind me and.

“Pretty, huh?” Lia asked as she skipped down the path.

“You certainly are.”

Lia chuckled as she stopped by the car, turning one way then the other, flourishes rampant as she showed off. “I meant the dress.”

“Also very pretty.”

“Oh, it’s ‘very pretty’ now, is it?”

“Indisputably.”

“Well this date’s off to a good start,” she said as we got into the car and set off, threading our way out of town.

“A good start, but still a secretive one,” I said as we turned down the smaller roads.

“Not enough to know you won?”

“I’m happy I won, of course, but you can’t blame me for also wondering how many photos you actually sold? Say as of this evening?” I tried.

Lia smiled. “Enough to pay for this dress.”

“Well I’m not up on the prices of women’s dresses, but you make it look like it wasn’t from Primarche.”

“God no!” Lia gasped at my slanderously humorous suggestion. “Silk is not cheap, Jim. Luxurious, but absolutely not cheap.”

“Silk?”

Lia nodded. “And matching panties.”

“Not ... a detail I imagined I’d be learning. Okay, I’ll bite. Your panties? Matching silk or matching green?”

“Both.”

“Impressive co-ordination, but no bra?”

Lia smiled. “Couldn’t keep that secret, could I?”

“I felt like it was being pointed out for me,” I teased, Lia’s nipples perkily reflecting her happy mood.

“Well for your information mister checks-my-tits, I do have the bra. Tonight? Hanging up all nice’n’neat like back home,” Lia confirmed as she sat back in her chair, highlighting Leftie and Rightie even more before she theatrically looked at one, then the other, then me. “Well, we had said the evening would end on a kiss, so maybe I’m a little ‘up’ for that?” she grinned.

“I’d never have guessed.”

“There is one thing,” Lia said.

“What’s that?”

“Can you find a layby?”

“I guess, er, give me a minute?” I said, slightly puzzled as we diverted a little from how I was planning on getting to our destination, finding a layby on Lia’s side of the road. “This okay?” I asked as I pulled in and pulled on the brake.

Lia paused a moment and looked side to side before breaking out in a grin. “Perfect,” said as she eased herself up in her seat, reached under her dress, and wriggled out of the world’s briefest g-string in impressively matching emerald green. Winking at me, she balled it up neatly into almost nothing and slipped it into her bag. “Okay, we can go now,” she beamed with satisfaction as she settled back down into her chair.

“Right. Er, care to explain?” I asked as I pulled us back into, well I can’t call it traffic as there wasn’t any, but it’s the thought that counts.

Lia grinned. “Jim, just ‘cause you’ve seen so much of my fanny before, it doesn’t mean it’s the same, seeing it tonight.”

“I get that, but taking them off already... ?”

Lia shrugged. “Life can be full of surprises...”

“Lia, since you knocked my door a few weeks ago looking for a photographer my life has been full of repeated surprises.”

“Good.”

“That’s not going to change, either, is it?”

Lia grinned. “Wanna guess?”

“No need, no need at all,” I said as we fell quiet, the country lanes soon bringing us to the little village and their little pub which I knew had a surprisingly good little restaurant if you were in the mood for a little ‘pub grub’. I’d checked, and Lia was very happy with my choice, and not just by a little.

“Oh, er, Jim?” Lia said as we pulled up.

“Yes?”

“Can you, er, stand in front of me when I get out of the car? Please?”

“There are paparazzi around?” I asked, guessing her ‘problem’.

“No, but there are some people outside enjoying a drink and, er, I’m not planning on adding to their enjoyment.”

“Quite right too,” I chuckled as I got out, Lia waiting for me to open her door and offer her a hand out, blocking anyone’s view of anything other than my back as she got out.

“I owe you,” she whispered as I closed the door and locked the car.

“I think you’ve already paid,” I said as we walked inside.

“Not yet...” Lia answered, making me wonder what she had in mind to add to her little partial striptease in the layby.

“No? Then I await the next instalment with interest,” I said, taking her hand in mine as we went up to the bar, confirmed our reservation, and were ushered towards one of the little booths that stretched all the way back along the one side of the pub, presumably with the kitchen on the other side if the meaty smells were anything to go by.

“Safe or adventurous?” I asked as we opened our menus.

“Safe, definitely safe. I can’t get saucy wearing nothing but this dress and some perfume. Oh, and shoes.”

“And shoes, of course. Not saucy. Got it,” I teased, quickly scanning the options.

“Although it’s not saucy, not exactly, but I am planning to recklessly go straight for main plus desert and skip the starter. Care to come all abandoned with me?”

“Not hungry?”

“Not wanting to feel stuffed ... with food,” Lia smirked.

“In that case, I was thinking of partridge and cheesecake, though not on the same plate.”

Lia nodded. “So you’re not that adventurous, haha. Okay, for the sake of conventionality, I’ll go for veal and the summer fruits bowl, separate plates too, but, er, can you order for me?”

“Of course. Any reason?” I asked before I called over the waiter.

“This dress.”

“Oh?”

Lia nodded. “I’m thinking it’s not such a good choice when someone’s standing over me...”

“Ah. Well in that case, allow me,” I said as I called over the waiter and made sure I was monopolising his attention as our order was taken and two glasses of zero cider were brought in short order.

“Jim, I have a little confession to make about this dress.”

“You mean it’s not silk?” I gasped in mock horror.

“Oh it’s silk, very nice silk, and you can probably tell I love the feel of it,” she said, chuckling as she gave herself a little jiggling, her nipples captivating my attention. Leftie and Rightie seemingly permanent guests this evening. “Thing is though, that photo of me? It sort of kind of didn’t exactly pay for this dress...”

“No?”

Lia shook her head. “You see, when I get my money from OnlyFans, they take 20%, and then there’s tax to pay each year, so for every dollar, I get something like 50c or 60c. Roughly. Oh, and I get paid monthly, and I’ve not yet had this month’s money. So I kind of robbed Peter to pay Paul.”

“Well I’m not normally in favour of robbery...”

“But when it’s in a good cause in green silk?”

I nodded.

“Glad we agree, but this dress though? I kind of treated myself a little.”

“Lia? I’m trying not to pry into your business affairs, but I’m a little concerned. You said I’d won, but I’m confused. Your photo did well enough to pay for a silk dress, but it also didn’t quite?” I asked.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind you knowing. So. You know I said I was using it as my first teaser for Miss Puzzle on Patreon and that I was asking $3 for it? Well, the ticket on this dress was... £85.”

I did the math. “So if you convert that back to dollars, reinclude the tax that’s been deducted...”

Lia nodded. “As of this morning, I’ve sold 37 photos. I kind of paid myself without the deductions so I owe myself some but, Jim, your photo of me as Miss Puzzle sold 37 times over and that’s without them seeing any fanny and my arms were covering up my nips.”

“Well then I think congratulations are in order. I take it Miss Puzzle is going to fully launch?”

“Damn right she is, and there’s been a knock on with OnlyFans as I’ve had a few move up to toptier.”

I smiled and raised my glass in salute. “Here’s to cute blonde catgirls,” I said, Lia clinking her glass to mine and we just having time to take a sip before I spotted the waiter coming our way, any further conversation temporarily on hold until he had gone and we had each at least tried our meals, each declaring them to be ‘bloody good’.

“You know this means more work for you,” Lia said. “I need to take a lot more Miss Puzzle photos now, and that’s on top of the plushies.”

“So the orchard shoot at the end of next week... ?”

“I need more ideas, Jim, more I tells you!” Lia grinned.

“Er, not to get all crazy tinfoil hat she’s real about this, but how does Miss Puzzle see herself being photographed?”

“She ... ah. That’s a good question, isn’t it?”

“And if she can answer it for you, that leaves you with only the plushies to think about.”

“Ooh, speaking of. Please tell me you’re not a cliché and that you like shopping?”

I smiled. “Depends on the company and the shopping.”

“Hmm, company’s me, so that’s a ‘fuck yes’, right?”

I chuckled. “Not quite how I’d have put it, but yes, I can imagine a little shopping in your company to not be the worst thing in the world.”

“Not the worst? You rat! For that you’re buying me dinner!” Lia pouted.

“I thought I already was.”

“You were? Okay, so maybe you’ll have to buy me something when we go shopping to make up for buying me dinner today.”

Ignoring the imploding logical implications of Lia’s conclusion I instead asked, “Perhaps if I knew what we were shopping for or when... ?”

“Plushies. Bears’n’plushies to be a bit more exact about it. I’ve not bought any new for a while, and if my OnlyFans is going to expand the way like it looks like it is, I need to add maybe a couple or three to the menagerie. Needs shaking up a little anyway, more variety to my partners, y’know.”

“And where were you planning on going for those?” I asked, our little town having many things but not those kinds of things. “Birmingham?” I suggested, wondering if they had such shops tucked away somewhere.

Lia shook her head. “I know a woman. She has a little shop, kind of,” she said, naming the village which if it was the one I thought it was, it wasn’t all that far away, maybe a lazy hour by car. How had Lia got there before? Evil taxi fare I guessed. Lia continued. “She’s mostly mail order, but you can pre-arrange a visit if she knows you and you’re going to buy not just prod. She knows me. I don’t prod, haha. So, you up for a road trip?”

“I’ve this week and next,” I said, gently reminding Lia that I had an office job to keep me from running off with her whenever and wherever she wanted.

Lia shook her head. “I know but any chance you can ‘throw a sickie’ in say two weeks? She doesn’t exactly keep normal hours and I’ve not called yet. Miss Puzzle’s success kind of prompted me to think I should be doing a little more than I am. Not a rut, just kind of drifting as I struggled with Sequins who never suggested shit other than I should look like I’m fucking a fucking bear the shithead.”

“Quite,” I said, Lia’s curse-filled rants still shocking to me. “Sickies? Not my style. Let me know some dates and I’ll sweet-talk HR into a day off.”

“Cool. Anyway, I’ve got enough bears’n’plushies and ideas to keep us busy for now but I can feel I’ll need more options fairly soon.”

“Speaking of new ideas, sort of,” I said as I remembered something I’d read in an interview with an author talking about awkward characters. “Would it help if I were to ask you some questions about Miss Puzzle, so I can get an idea where I need to learn how to take photos?”

“Hmm, interesting idea. Okay, ask your questions, I’ll pass them on and let you know what she says,” Lia grinned as she looked at her plate, mostly eaten, and decided she was done, cutlery neatly laid slightly to the right on her plate as she sipped some more of her cider.

“Okay, first question, aside from the orchard and the kitchen, which does she prefer, indoor or outdoor?”

Lia looked thoughtful for a moment. “Actually, outdoor. That a problem?”

“Once I’ve looked on YouTube for someone to teach me how to shoot outdoors, no. Of course if it’s raining or snowing or–”

“Ah. Jim?”

“Lia?”

“Miss Puzzle is insisting very, and I do mean very firmly, that though she loves the outdoors, she also loves being warm, hot even, but absolutely not cold or wet.”

“Duly noted. So does she like to pose and vamp and vogue, or does she want me to, er, ‘catch her by the lens’ without her knowing it?”

“Ooh, that’s interesting,” Lia said, so genuinely that it sounded like the answer was coming as a surprise to her as well as it would be to me. “Okay, so I know the $3 green silk dress shot was posed, so she’s okay to try more of those, but she’d prefer natural over posed.”

I nodded. “Just so I’ve got this straight in my head, this means we have to take the photos over the next couple of months while we can find sunny days, and that we need to take enough to keep you supplied with at least one set per month until next spring at least, plus Miss Puzzle’s Boudoir shots for colder days and little teasers, that right?”

Lia nodded. “I like the idea of a boudoir, I’ve never had a boudoir before. Er, what exactly is a boudoir?”

I smiled as I realised, “I’m not sure I quite know the answer to that. Somewhere where you feel the most sexy, I’d guess.”

Lia shrugged. “Well I’ve already got my second bedroom turned over into a studio so I don’t know where Miss P’s boudoir could be.”

“Coloured light-bulbs and some furry throws over the bed?” I suggested.

“That’s ... actually, that’s not half bad at all. I’ll need to check out how others make their studios. I just, er, used my spare bedroom and ‘girlied’ it up a little, but people who remake their rooms? That might be an idea.”

“Okay, er, ready for another?”

“You’re on a roll tonight,” Lia smiled.

“Don’t know about that but how is Miss Puzzle on dressup?”

Lia shook her head, smiling as she asked, “How is my furry alter ego on having an alter ego of her own?”

“Not really. What I was meaning was, have you thought about some makeup? Face paint? Maybe some body paint? Something to make you look more cat like?”