Chapter 2 - An Orchard Is Proposed

It was a couple of weeks later that Lia came knocking on my door to invite me round for a cup of tea. That wasn’t so unusual as we’d gotten into the loose habit of sharing a meal in a local pub of a weekend and the odd evening in each other’s garden, drinking cider, and just chatting about nothing. Lia’s really easy company at the best of times, but when she’s wearing short dresses or a bikini? Yeah, doesn’t hurt a bit. Funny thing is though that since I was now so familiar with how she looked nude, I kind of enjoyed seeing her dressed.

Anyway, as we walked into her kitchen I saw there was a fairly substantial box, closed but already unsealed, intriguingly perched on the table.

“Jim? Can I ask you something?” Lia said nonchalantly as she flicked on the kettle, waving me to take a load off.

“Sure.”

“I know you’re one of my toptiers, but you wouldn’t happen to be PP19EE67CL would you?”

I shook my head. “That’s not me,” I said, telling her the username I had registered with OnlyFans as.

“Interesting.”

“You don’t sound all that surprised.”

“I’m not, but I wanted to be sure,” she said as she got to work with tea-pots and tea-leaves and tea-cups while I watched and alliterated some hyphens on her behalf.

“Sure of my username? I’m just guessing here, but is it because of what’s in the parcel?” I asked as I contemplated Chekhov. No, not Pavel.

Lia nodded. “It is. That, and the hundred quid tip I got.”

“The what?”

Lia smiled. “Surprised me too. You know that I posted the Mister Puzzle photos last weekend, and I sent you the ‘tail photo’ that I sent to the toptiers? Jim, I think we’ve unleashed a monster.”

“We have?” I smiled, not sure how much ‘we’ there was in all of this. They didn’t come for the photographer, after all.

Lia nodded as she set our drinks on the table and sat down opposite. Knowing the importance of tea to Lia as well to me, all conversation was temporarily halted as we each took a moment to sip and sigh contentedly before she continued. “So the sub who sent me Mister Puzzle? He sent me a tip. I never get tips. Okay, I’ve had the occasional $10 for Christmas but otherwise? Nada. Jim, he sent me a hundred fucking quick! I double-checked, but yeah, it was him. Sends me Mister Puzzle, never asks ‘when’, just waits for me to ever use him, I send him one of the uniques of us that’s a bit racy, one with a hint of fanny, and he tipped me a hundred! I mean... fuck!”

I chuckled. “Sounds quite the subscriber,” I said, amusing myself wondering how much he would have tipped for a ‘full fanny’ photo.

“Oh he’s something, all right, but actually I feel kind of guilty about it, a bit, anyway,” Lia said.

“Guilty? Why?”

“He didn’t get anything extra. He sent me a hundred and he just got the same unique that went to a dozen others.”

“And you’ve no other uniques you could send him? Not necessarily Mister Puzzle even?”

Lia laughed. “I do and he is absolutely going to be getting something personally unique ... but that’s where the parcel fits in. Take a look,” she said as she settled back to enjoy her drink and watch my reaction.

Putting my cup safely out of the way, I pulled the parcel closer to me and flipped the lid.

“Oh,” I said as I looked in the box, looked up, and looked into Lia’s amused eyes.

“N-oh shit, Sherlock,” Lia grinned.

Turning my attention back to the box, first out was a pair of furry ears, set on a headband, and quite realistic looking, even having little wispy hairs sticking up from the points. The fur was quite a good match for Lia’s washed out but natural blonde and you could see how well they would fit her. Next came the tail, and I was still checking it out and confirming that it was faux fur but good faux fur when the end of the tail thudded onto the table.

Two words.

Butt. Plug.

“Wow,” I said as I looked from it to Lia.

“Haha, yeah, that’s a wow right there, that’s what that is.”

“Also quite the thing to send someone.”

“Not gonna argue that,” Lia said. “Oh, and for what it’s worth it’s only my second ever gift. First was Mister Puzzle, and now those.”

“That’s some escalation.”

Lia nodded. “Escalation. A furry tail on a butt plug. I guess you could call that an escalation all right. I mean Mister Puzzle’s one thing, but it’s sure as fuck an escalation to go from a cute plush dragon-boy to a tail that he’s sent knowing that if I take any photos wearing it it means there’s a butt plug jammed up my arsehole.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Kind of amused.”

“Amused?” I asked, confused by the swerve she was taking. Not offended. Not all that shocked, it seemed. But amused?

“You know the old joke? Guy offers you £10,000 for a fuck. You damn right I’ll fuck you for ten grand. He then offers you £10. You ask him what kind of a person he thinks you are. He says he knows what you are, you’re just haggling about the price. That’s me. I’m the girl being offered a hundred to stick that up my arse. And be photographed, let’s not forget that part.”

“Of course,” I said, stalling for time a little. “Thing is, Lia, you’re sure that’s what he was after, that you having that ... there, that was his primary objective? You don’t think that maybe he just wanted you to be as realistic a catgirl as you could be, and that’s the most realistic way there is to wear a tail?”

“Jim, please tell me you don’t think animal’s tails come out of their arses?”

I chuckled. “Of course not but you know what I mean. So what are you going to do about it?”

“Not sure. I suppose I could wear a belt or shorts or something, jam that down the back of my shorts and be a topless catgirl...”

“Forgive the pun, but I feel there’s a ‘but’ coming.”

“Har-har. Yeah, there’s a ‘but’, and that ‘but’ is that it feels like I’m cheating.

“You feel like you have to do it and go ‘full tail’? Because of the hundred quid?”

Lia shrugged. “Don’t know. I’ve had this a couple of days now and I still don’t know. The money’s nice, but I don’t like to feel like I’m being bought.”

I nodded. “And the money’s definitely to get you to wear the outfit? It’s not as a tip? For the photo, whatever the photo is?”

Lia sighed. “I mean I guess it could be, but does it feel like that to you because it sure doesn’t feel like that to me.”

“Maybe your surprise at being sent those and how you wear them, maybe it’s colouring your perspective?”

“Are you always so reasonable?”

“No, but I work a lot with emails and messages, and it’s easy to get the wrong impression about someone. I’ve a colleague in another studio. I always used to think his emails were short, but then we met at a jolly one time and I got to understand he has a sense of humour so dry it’s arid. I read it one way, he wrote it another. We met and it got sorted, but you can’t do that so, well, it might be a miscommunication and he’s just tipping you in advance?”

“I guess you could be right and it could be that, and anyway, it’s not like there’s a chance in hell he’s getting a photo of me from behind. Not bending over, anyway. I don’t do fanny shots as it is, so I’m sure as fuck not doing a ‘see which hole it’s in’ photo.”

“So that’s plenty of what you’re not going to do, but what are you going to do about it Lia?”

“Interesting question. I think I’m going to do it - with your help as my photographer, of course - but I’m not doing it for him and I’m not even doing it for the hundred.”

“No?”

“Jim, I’m curious. This is way outside of my limits, and I mean really far outside my limits, and that’s why I’m curious to try. Can I do it? Can I make it look good? Can I not look like I’m worried I’ve got a plug stuck up my bum? How the hell do you even walk with one of those stuck up your arse? You know, the whole thing.”

“You sound like you’ve never dressed up before?”

“Not really my thing. I like dressing up, but that’s pretty dresses and, er, frilly...” she answered, blushing a little as she accidentally revealed more than she’d intended.

“Got it. So you’ve not done cosplay before? I don’t mean as a catgirl, but any kind of cosplay at all?”

“Nope, I’ve never cosplayed and I’ve absolutely never gone full furry before.”

I chuckled. “Full furry?”

Lia shrugged. “What else do you call ears and a plug up your arsehole? That’s full furry to me, haha. Anyway, that still leaves the problem of I’m not sure how I’ll do it.”

“Sorry?” I asked, not sure how the term ‘butt plug’ left a lot of ambiguity.

Lia, it seemed, was on another wavelength. “I mean whether or not it’s a thing I would do or can do, it’s not something I think I want on my OnlyFans. Jim I really don’t feel like I want to mix up things between the furry and plushie. I know Gobbledygook is into both but I’m not sure how many of my other subs are, and I don’t want to lose however many of them it might cost if I bring catgirls into that space. Haha, I’m a plushies are for life girl. Catgirls? Might only be a one-off.”

“So if you’re only fluffy-curious,” I began, Lia tipping me a nod in acknowledgement of my own turn of phrase. “Why not just shoot a couple for the donor and leave it at that?”

Lia shook her head. “I could, God knows he’s already paid enough for that at least, but it got me thinking. Is there a market for my catgirl photos?”

“Seriously? Is there likely to be a market on the internet for cute nude blondes dressed up as a catgirl? Gee, let me think...”

Lia smiled. “Yeah, I guess I deserved that. Thing is, though, even though he’s sent me a hundred to go with them, shooting just a handful for Gobbledygook still feels kind of cheap.”

“Cheap?”

“Know how much something like those costs?

“Not a clue.”

“Same. So I did a little Googling. Private session because I don’t want that to come up in my search history, haha. Nice set like this? Jim, it cost about the same as the tip that came with it.”

“Seriously? Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m not doubting you or anything–”

“Never thought you were,” Lia interrupted.

“Thanks, but it’s just I had no idea how much those would cost. Wow,” I said. “So you seem like you’re committed, at least to trying the whole catgirl thing out, but you sound like you’re planning on shooting a full set, not just a couple or few specials for ‘Gobbledygook’?”

Lia nodded. “I think I am, yes.”

“But you don’t want to mix them with your bears and plushies photos?”

Lia shook her head.

“Can’t you just create a tack-on tier for your catgirl photos? Maybe even start another OnlyFans just for them?”

Lia shrugged. “No idea. I’ve just got the ‘basic’ and ‘DMs’, never needed anything else. A furry tier? I like that. It’s just, I don’t want to cut the toptiers and regular DM buyers out of something when they’re already paying for the ‘full English’ as it is. Feels greedy.”

“Why? Isn’t the furry something new? So you wouldn’t be cutting them out of something because it isn’t something we’ve, er, they’ve subbed up for? If you’re really that worried, though, why not start a Patreon for the furry, keep your plushies on OnlyFans, and let each know about the other? Maybe discounts for those who sub to both?”

Lia looked thoughtful for a moment and then smiled. “Damn I’m glad you’re on the payroll, I like it. Yeah. Okay, so say we do this and I go furry on Patreon and keep the bears’n’plushies on OnlyFans, what can I do that’s different for Patreons?”

“Not sure I follow. You mean not using your name?” I asked, pretty sure that wasn’t what she meant.

Lia shook her head. “No, I’m keeping my name, it’s kind of my brand, haha. No, what I was thinking was how do I make furry different from plushie? I don’t want it to be obvious that I take the photos in the same place for both, y’know, like those films where they do a sweary and a non-sweary version of a scene with the same camera angles and everything and then we you see both you feel kind of off about it.”

“Okay, so what about shooting in another room?”

Lia shook her head. “Love to. Where’s that, though?”

I thought about it for a moment. We shared the same house layout, and if her studio was for the bears, I couldn’t see where else she could ‘go furry’ without it causing a lot of upheaval and paracetamol for the headaches it would bring. “It’s a shame your garden isn’t more secluded or you could shoot some there, at least in the summer,” I said, our houses being Victorian mews on the edge of town with long, slender, and crucially easily overlooked gardens.

Lia smiled. “Jim I can’t do that out there, not nude,” she hissed, genuinely shocked at the idea. “What if someone saw me?”

“Sorry. I was just thinking aloud. Klunkily.”

“It’s okay. It’s got to be a bit confusing, here I am making a career out of selling my nudes on the internet, but I won’t even sunbathe nude in case a neighbour might see,” she said, pausing a moment to smile ironically at me. “Although if it wasn’t in my garden ... Okay, so, hear me out. You drive. Pretty please? I wear a nice big coat, maybe even the ears as well ‘cause who cares about those especially if we’re in your car. We go find some secluded little spot, there’s plenty around here, we make sure we’re really alone, I go frolic, you take the photos, we move on to the next place, rinse and repeat, taking advantage of the sunshine to get enough shots for lots of sets that’ll last through to next summer if needs to, at least enough to keep the Patreon ticking over as we see if this flies or not. What do you think?”

“What do I think? I think it’s a great idea with a couple of problems, however. The first is I don’t know how to use your camera out of the studio and I’d have to do it all on my own, no-one to hold the reflectors or whatever, meaning you might be spending a lot of time working the photos over afterwards to get the light right that wasn’t. The other is, when were you planning to do this? I work weekdays, and weekends might not be so private...”