Note - All characters and scenarios contained in this story are pure fiction. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead is purely coincidental. The type of hot tub described in the story does not exist. The religious practices as they are described are not, as far as the author knows, actual, and are perversions of parts of religious rituals found through a couple of web-searches. If you are a practitioner of a Pagan religion or kundalini yoga and feel you might be offended by a fictional perversion of your practices or beliefs, stop reading now. If you think that this description is how people actually perform these rituals, you may want to do some research online or carefully consult an actual practitioner to find out how they are performed in reality, because this description is not real, and the author claims no knowledge of their proper practice. Thank you.

Okay, so, first, I want to say I don’t know what happens to everyone when they die. I don’t know. I can only say what happened to me, and that I haven’t run into anyone else who is dead, at least so far, at least not that I’m aware of.

I guess I should say something about who I was before getting into the story of what happened afterwards. I was, well, a lech. Kind of a pervert. Very into sex with women, and really enjoyed my cock. I had a girlfriend who also really enjoyed it, and she liked it so much she made a plaster cast of it erect. Now that was a fun afternoon, her doing things to keep me at full attention while the plaster set ... whew! She wasn’t an exotic dancer or gymnast, but she could have been, she very athletic and flexible as fuck. She could bend in the most amazing ways...

Sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. Let me go back to the beginning. So, once upon a time, I was kind of a boring guy, the original “nice” guy, got married, slaved at a job I didn’t like at all but that paid the bills plus some decent savings, then I kind of had a midlife crisis. It was a major life-changer for me. Some people might say I threw everything I’d carefully built away for a fast car and cheap thrills, but I really loved that car for the pussy it got me, and the thrills I got were not cheap but they were worth every penny! I found women, especially in their 30s, to be profoundly sexually rewarding, and lived life fast and hard, grateful that I had socked away so much in the first twenty-five years of my life and let it multiply in investments, doubling every few years. Yes, if you start early enough, are disciplined enough, and invest wisely enough you can become a millionaire several times over in time to still enjoy it! (Thanks Dad, for explaining that to me in a way I could really understand it!)

After the divorce and some wildness, I did finally sort of settle down with a lovely lady who was into New Age stuff and who was very sexually liberated. She was into some kind of sexual yoga, and she taught me some stuff that gave me a lot more control of when I orgasmed, and how to make sure she, and any of the other women who shared our bed, came many times before I would let myself let go of the built-up orgasm. Those orgasms were un-be-liev-a-ble! I mean, lift-you-out-of-your-body-and-see-God good! They could last what felt like hours! Not that they were that long, mind you, but they sure felt that way! Timeless pleasure. Made me see things and feel things that words just can’t explain, and can only vaguely and faintly describe. I wanted to, and I’ve actually tried to, put words to them, but each time I couldn’t she would just get this knowing look on her face and say she understood and grin like an idiot. I’d just grin back at her the same way. “Ineffable” is what that’s called, and it really effing is!

She was the one who made the plaster cast mold of my cock, and then made a plaster model from that. You know, it wasn’t like I’d seen it up close like that -- she was the incredibly flexible one, not me! It was weird, looking at a part of my body I’d only seen like that from above. I mean, looking at it, I thought, “Huh. That’s me. Huh.” Okay, so, during our sex meditation yoga sessions, I’d often imagined that I was my cock, like it was my body and that helped make the orgasms feel like the whole of me was cumming. Well, my balls too, of course, I mean they were part of the package. You know what I meant.

I had bought this very special premier hot tub, and we had a whole lot of debauched fun there. It was like a water version of a Sybian (you know, the sit-on-the-saddle vibrating machine that Howard Stern and lots of women swear by), only it was for your whole body. There were jets in that thing that did truly amazing things! What I’m saying is that it wasn’t your soak stiff muscles to make them relax kind of tub, it was a soak your relaxed muscles to make them stiff kind of tub. Women would lose their self-control very quickly in there. We got a whole lot of use out of that tub, and it was one of my favorite places on the planet outside of a pussy.

I know, I know. I’m crude. But what I’m trying to explain is that I only really discovered sex at the age of 50, and when I did, I truly and deeply converted, mind, heart, and soul. Depravity, it turns out your name is Robert, or, well, Bob. That would be me.

Well, everything was going great, until one night, with two women and the girlfriend in the hot tub, at the height of an orgasm, apparently my heart stopped. I realized at some point that the orgasm really wasn’t ending. It ... got very ... I dunno, “vague”, maybe is the word? I would kind of fade in and out. The other two girls seemed to vanish, and my girlfriend was alone in the tub with me, but she felt sad. A couple of times this happened, I’d kind of like surface from somewhere else and she’d be alone in the tub, crying for me. I tried to tell her I was there, but she didn’t seem to notice me. I began to realize I must be dead, which, by the way, is a very weird thing to realize! I felt bad that my girlfriend was so sad about it, but a part of me felt kind of satisfied about it, too. I mean, at least she missed me. My ex probably thought the world was a better place for me not being in it, if you know what I mean. That seems kind of unfair, to me. I mean, she didn’t want to do the things I did, couldn’t live the life I needed to live. So ... and so. It was nice to know I was missed by someone I’d come to love. Very nice. Maybe even redeeming, even.

Well, one day I faded in and realized she was saying goodbye, there in the tub. She had brought the plaster model of me and was apparently having a goodbye fuck. It was very strange. I felt my cock slide into her. I felt her pussy. I felt her orgasm, once, twice, three times before the plaster completely dissolved and things got even more confusing. I felt her body, most of it anyway, like I was touching it all at once.

I felt her stiff nipples, her vaginal muscles rolling inside her as she came, I felt the smoothness of her thighs, the motions of her pelvis, her fingers grasping, and the stiffness of her clit as the jet stimulated it! I felt like I was there with her in the water, stimulating her, trying to holding, to make her pant and buck and swoon. She called my name, and I think she felt me, my presence.

She talked to me then, as if I were there. She explained that she couldn’t afford to stay, that with my income gone, she was having to move out. The house was being sold. That she loved me, and she missed me, and would always remember me, and us. Then she gasped, and said she felt me hug her, there in the water! I hugged her again, and she gasped again. She said “You are here, aren’t you?”

I don’t know how to explain it, but, I caressed her button, and she yipped. The only thing I can come up with is the water did something in response to my feelings, and my will. She was not above one of the special jets, so that wasn’t it. But there it was -- she was feeling what I wanted her to feel there in the water.

We had a sort-of discussion after that. Well, she spoke, and I held, and caressed, and hugged and stroked. I even kissed her lips when she sank her head below the surface. It was all personal stuff, completely uninteresting to anyone but the two of us. Private, you know. I mean, it was saying goodbye. I don’t think either of us thought it would be able to continue, we just appreciated that we had this opportunity to say goodbye in a very odd but special way. I expected she’d leave, and I’d go back to wherever I’d been when I wasn’t there. Away. Whatever. It was very emotional, very bittersweet and sad. She finally had to go, and things got quiet, and I ... faded out, I guess would be the best way to say it. It wasn’t like there was a lot of nothing happening, or anything, there wasn’t really anything at all, and I guess I ... well, “slept” can’t be right, and there weren’t dreams or anything like that, I just was not for a while.

I had no idea how much time passed. Apparently, it was a couple of years, years during which Angela wrote a book that got turned into a movie, and she finally was able to buy the house back. It turns out the tub had been turned off for a while, then drained, the house had been bought by an old couple, and when the wife died, the husband moved into a retirement community apartment and put the house on the market. I think Angela thought I might have somehow tinkered from “Beyond” to arrange things so she could buy the house when she was ready, but nope, I was not doing anything that I was aware of because I wasn’t aware.

I became sort of close to aware when the tub was being refilled and powered up again to heat. I can actually describe this -- have you ever been dozing, sort of between awake and asleep? I mean, there’s a ‘you’ there, kind of not really thinking or looking around, but maybe just feeling warm and cozy, and half-knowing you’re going to wake up in a minute, you just haven’t gotten around to stretching and opening your eyes? That’s kind of what it was like. I just didn’t have a body to stretch, but I wasn’t aware of that yet.

As I came to awareness, it felt like my bones were the pipes, and my skin was the water. I was aware of the little doojahicky with the chemicals in it spinning around in the current, and I sort of observed it go places on the surface. I could feel it, like it was on me, but I was also in it. It felt kinda strange, but less strange than you might think since I’d also felt like I’d been in my girlfriend’s vag last time I was aware, but this was also different, like having some appendage in something hard and plastic and ... gritty, maybe? I wondered if it had a taste, and as the thought occurred, I tasted chemicals. It was strong, and not pleasant, so I kind of stopped tasting the inside. I had no idea how I did that, didn’t really care - blech!

I felt what I could feel, and parts of me were falling in drops back into me. Another weird feeling, like crying without sadness, and when the drops fell they fell into me, not onto me. I realized the cover was down on the tub. There seemed to be more of ‘me’ in the actual water, now, like more of me was moving out of the pipes and filters, or something. There was a feeling of stability and permanence to them, like they were my bones, my skeleton, my hearts and veins, but the water was awareness and skin, it was what touched and felt. There also seemed to be a lot of me to the seats and floor.

I felt the cover lift, and shower of me fell back into me, my water body as each side of the top moved up and got shaken before being slid to the sides. It was dark, late evening, I guess, and I felt Angela lean over me, and minute bits of me covered her lovely face. It was her! Did she get to keep the house? I swirled in happiness! I felt the jets turn up, and it was like my heart leaping, and my blood stirring.

Her foot, then her leg, slid into me. It was like she slid her dainty foot and then her smooth, sexy leg through my hands, with me feeling her sexy skin pass through them, running my skin over hers as she got in.

“Oh, Holy Mother!” she exclaimed as she obviously felt my touch. She slid her other leg in, but she took longer in doing it, obviously enjoying the process. “Oh my love, you’re still here! I couldn’t be sure, I hoped so much! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I wasn’t sure if she was thanking me for hanging around, though I strongly suspected it was God, or the Universe, or whatever. I was certainly thanking whatever deity or force or power in the Universe for it myself! I was also kissing and caressing my way up the thighs of the woman I love. Well, I’m pretty sure that’s what it felt like to her, and the way I thought of it, for that matter. Really, in order to fully understand it, you’d have to be in my, well, “shoes” is wrong, isn’t it! My, uhh, “situation”, I guess. Since I once had a human body, I’m trying to translate, but well, it is kind of like trying to describe blue to a blind man. Nevermind, let’s just say I’m getting as close to describing it as I can.

So, anyway, we had a wonderful, deliriously happy and sexual reunion. I touched every part of her body I could, and she reacted like it was twice as good as we’d ever been at our best. That is actually saying quite a lot, since, as I said before, we’d had some unbelievably fantastic sex. The more fun she had, the more of me there seemed to be, like I got stronger every time she came. After her final climax of the evening, I could almost feel like I was sitting in the tub next to her, like, if I wasn’t thinking about it, I would look over and see her just like I could when I was in my body. Like, if I could just ignore reality long enough or well enough, I could reach over and touch her face with a hand, I mean a physical body-type hand. But I wanted it too much, you know? There was just water, and water can’t reach up and stroke someone’s face with a hand.

So we sat, so to speak, and she rested. She told me what had happened, and how much time had passed, about her book and the movie they made from it (she hated what they’d done to it but loved the money!), and caught me up on her life while I hugged or squeezed and touched in response. It’s surprising how much you can communicate when you’re limited to only touching.

During this process, I discovered how much of Angela I could feel. I could feel inside her body! Not just the parts exposed to the water, but her bones and tissues. It was faint, but it was there. She was part of me somehow, or maybe I was a part of her. How could this be? How could I be so strongly connected to the hot tub and its water, for that matter?

Angela seemed to be thinking along similar lines, because she asked, “How are you still here? I mean, I am so very happy you are, but ... how?”

I felt the parts of me, and took a bit of a qualitative inventory. I felt like my “body” such as it was, was strongest and most stable on the floors and seats, and in the tubing and filters of the tub, as I said before, but those didn’t do much in the way of feeling or sensing. The water was most like my, well, not quite skin, but it did most of the feeling. I felt her bones most strongly in her, but again, they were like the pipes in the tub. I could feel some in her flesh, muschles, skin and nerves, but those sensations were something I had to focus on to register. I thought of the plaster of Paris model of my cock she had made and used inside the tub, and how it had melted away, dissolved. We had done some sex energy things before and during its creation, and I had jokingly thought of it as “me” in a way. Maybe that was how? And it had dissolved inside her as she used it, or me, and maybe some of it, some of me, got absorbed into her body that way? Maybe she swallowed some of the water? Was it possible to soak in by osmosis or something? It was a thought. I wished I could talk to her, tell her. I wished she could hear me.

“What... ?” Angela said, sitting up.

I wish you could hear me I thought at her.

She shook her head like she had water in her ear and was trying to shake it out. Hmm... !

I gently urged her to move her body lower in the water, and after a moment she figured out what I was trying to communicate. She slipped her head beneath the surface, with just her face sticking out of the water.

Can you hear me now? I thought at her again, mimicking the old cell phone commercial. She moved her head to one side and wiggled a finger in her ear, and a bubble escaped and I slid in.

Can you hear me, love? I thought at her again, hard. She sat up in the tub, and said “Holy Mother of All! I heard that!”

I think it was the model of me, or actually, my cock, that you made and then used in the hot tub! I thought.

She wondered, “How could that be?”

I don’t have any idea, you’re the sex yoga energy work expert! I thought back. I also said, I seem to be inside you, too.

I watched as several expressions crossed her face, and I could tell what the first, second, and third jokes were that passed through her mind -- not like I could actually read her mind, but I knew her that well. Then she tackled what the thought really meant.

“Inside me? Like, in me or part of me?” she asked.

Yes, both. I’m, well, in your bones, your tissues. Not a lot of me, but I’m there. I think ... I think that maybe ... you are maybe actually hearing me through the bones in your ears. I’m in the water and inside you, through out your body. I’m in the water in your ears and the tiny bones in your ears. I think maybe I got absorbed into your bones over time, since I’m also in your cells and bloodstream. Does that make sense? What do you think?

“That’s ... I don’t know, I don’t have a better explanation. Hell, I don’t have any explanation! I do hear your voice, though. Inside me and outside me, in the water. Hmm. I like that! I love feeling ... you ... touch my body like you’ve been doing! God, it is so exciting! And it is better now than when you were ... uh, in your body?” She caught herself and looked a bit abashed. “I mean, you can touch so more of me at once!”

Angela, honey, I need you to know something, something I didn’t really say when I was ... well, anyway, I want you to know that I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. I just wanted to say that to you.

Angela blushed and tears came to her eyes. “I know. I knew before you had the heart attack, and you told me without words before I had to leave. I love you, too. That’s why I came back, bought the house. I had a ... a feeling you’d be here.” She laughed, suddenly, “Not like this! I thought I’d just feel your spirit or something, like a memory, an echo or something. This ... this is amazing! I’m surrounded by you!”

I sort of hugged her, and did something that I thought would feel like kissing her ear. She smiled with delight, and reached as if to try to touch me, but only moved her hand through the water, and then frowned. I pressed around her hand gently, and she smiled again.

“I forgot,” she explained. “I hear you, and feel you touch me, but I can’t touch you, can I?”

Not like you used to, I said, sadly. I wish you could. But you are touching me, everywhere the water touches your skin.

“Can you feel me touch you?”

Not exactly ... I don’t have nerves like you do, but I sense you, feel you, and it’s really hard to describe. I can remember what it was like in a body, and it just isn’t like that. I couldn’t have conceived of what this is like when I was alive. You have ... edges, surfaces, that I don’t have now. I think I can maybe I make your nerves think something is stimulating them because I’m inside them. Most of you is lying inside me, but I can feel all of you, even the part that’s out of the water. I don’t know if it would be that way for someone else sitting in the tub.

“Hmm! We’ll have to see about that, then! Do you still get horny or sexy? I mean, since you don’t have the body parts that used to be responsible for that, if you know what I mean,” said Angela.

I do. I think I’m made of sexual energy, if you know what I mean, probably because of what you did with the plaster model. I feel like I’m made of love and sex, I replied, But mostly sex! I am up for anything!

“Really?!“ she grinned. “How about a surprise for someone?”

What, like our usual old ‘hot tub surprise’ where they think this is a plain old hot tub and find themselves cumming on the jets within minutes, and willing to do just about anything sexual an hour later?

“Something like, but with you helping, if you can,” Angela said, grinning wickedly. “A little experience for someone who needs it, and who has thought I was a slut just for studying sex energy practices for too many years. She needs a few really good orgasms!”

If it’s sex, I’m up for it! I amswered.

“Good! I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time!” She laughed. “Oh! Oh, my!” she added as I sent sensations through he pussy, nipples, and clit all at once. She felt a watery, flexible cock fill her as watery lips kissed her button, and the sensation of mouths sucking as her nipples. “Oh, fuck, baby, that is so good! God, I wish I could grab your ass and pull you in!” Her hands clutched at water.

I added the feeling of strong but gentle arms around her in an embrace, and she went into overdrive, trying to embrace me back, humping and thrusting as I kept the sensations up, increasing their intensity. She came with a shriek, wriggling and clutching and gasping.

I realized that I had kept her face above the water, and the waves she was creating were not going over her face, or into her nose and mouth. How had I done that? It felt natural, instinctual somehow. Like embracing her, but that hadn’t been the water holding her, it had been me causing her nerves to feel as if my arms were around her, handn’t it? I felt stronger, more ‘present’. I thought at the surface and a little wave rolled away from her, just as I had envisioned. It tired me a little bit, as it took some of the energy I was made of to do it. I felt the wavelet form and move across me, and realized what I was doing, then I lost my hold on it. I don’t know how to explain it, really, but here’s my best try -- when I was a kid I used to make a kind-of ‘reverse’ wave, kind of like a little valley about an inch across, roll up and down my stomach using the muscles, and it kind of felt like that had, but there weren’t muscles to do it with. God, that was a long time ago -- it had been kind of a fad trick thing that went around with the guys in grade school. Anyway, it was kind of like that. The point of all this is that thinking about doing it too much made it not work.

Augh! It was only kind of like that, anyway, and really, it didn’t matter. What did matter was that I could move the water in some ways when I tried without working too hard at it.

Angela was warm and glowing within me, and she was relaxing, coming down from her powerful orgasm. She was radiating energy into me, and it was strengthening me. It felt marvelous, too, a bit like laying still connected after cumming together.

I let my awareness drift a bit, like Angela had taught me several years ago, to become aware of the energies between us. What I became aware of was nothing like the experiences I’d had before. I felt the energies between us, yes, but the “I” or “me” part of it was hard to describe, nebulous, shaped like a bright cloud around her while also glowing in the pipes and pumps. The “her” part was a gorgeous network of light, stable but in constant motion, glittering like a network of little stars with fountains of light caught inside it, flowing within it, and out of it into me and the the world. The cloud of “me” was there, too, inside that light show. She was absolutely stunning in her beauty, brilliance, and complexity.

“That ... was wonderful! How did you do that? It felt like you were everywhere, making love to me!” she exclaimed as her body drifted down to one of the seats.

Angela, honey, you’re beautiful! I said, wonder in my voice.

“Why, thank you, sir!” she laughed. “What brought that on?”

I’m looking at you like you taught me to do, sensing the energies, and oh, Angela, you are astonishingly, amazingly beautiful! I told her.

“Hmm,” she said, and I could see changes in the patterns and flows in her body. “There you are!” she said, her relaxed eyes gazing more or less at me. “Hmm, you are like glowing clouds in the water,” she continued. “You really are all around me, aren’t you?” I felt her energies explore my dimensions, saw the powerful energy projections from her body feeling for me. One swept down to her sex. “We really are connected here, aren’t we? I mean, I knew, and before you died I sensed, the bond we shared there, but ... now I can’t tell where I leave off and you begin!”

Yes, I acknowledged, I’m sort of concentrated inside you there. I’m literally a part of your pussy, your yoni. I’m inside all of you, but the connection is strongest there. Wait a minute, I’ve got an idea...

“Whoo! What was that? You did something to my breasts and nipples...”

I wanted to see if I could play with them from the inside, I said. How did it feel?

“I dunno,” she answered. “Different. Not unpleasant, but I don’t think it was what you were going for.”

There was a change in the energy flows in her breasts and nipples, and though her nipples had stood up, there wasn’t the feeling of intense pleasure in her I had been expecting. Sorry. It was just an idea. Didn’t do what I expected it to.

“Mmm, that’s okay. Oh, I love you!” she said, and I watched her heart chakra open even more in a blaze of glory. There was a sudden pull, and I could feel a part of myself swept into that amazing light.

Do you know how it feels when you first fall in love? How suddenly your entire existence sort of reorients itself around the person you’ve fallen in love with with an ecstatic dive? It was kind of like that. Kind of. I was ... damn, words just fail to explain it. I mean, I was aware of her body and energies before, I was able to feel her body and its rhythms and structure and movements. Now, I was a part of her, and she was a part of me. I felt her -- her love, her fears and doubts, and her needs and desires. I also felt them change as I mixed in with her.

Let me try to explain better. Angela was a very loving and sexual woman, and I felt some of those change subtly. I was now made up of energy, a lot of loving energy, but much more of sexual energy. I have memories of what I was before, and I was no longer that. I’d been ... simplified, I guess. What we had done together when I was alive linked our sexual energies. I had loved her, and that was still a part of the me that was left, but far more of me was all about sex and pleasure. To use Freud’s terms, there was a lot more of my “id“ in what I was now than there was of my ego or superego, the “it” of “it was just too good to pass up” was more present than the “me” or “above me”, the things that make you consider consequences before acting. The extra “id“ in her energies I brought with me teamed up with her own, and I felt her own sex energies change balance. The part of me that was my ego sat back and said “Whoa!” in Keanu Reeves’ Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure voice. Our “ids“ gave a maniacal laugh with a full “Bwaahahaha!”

The energy patterns in our body shifted. Yes, I do mean “our.” We circulated through her body’s energy centers, blending and mixing as we went. It was a combination fireworks display and water park all in one. The other part of me, in the water, helped her along by giving her every sensation she wanted where she wanted it exactly when she wanted it. I discovered that Angela, when fully excited, was essentially one large erogenous zone, every sensation sparking showers of pleasure throughout her body. I do mean throughout, too! She had orgasmic echoes in places I had never even considered sexual, which is really saying something, since we had spent months working on every erogenous secret that she knew about, and with her immense depth of knowledge, was amazing.

Every orgasm she had strengthened me. The water, my body, at this point, was doing things, water shouldn’t be able to do. Whereas before I had been giving her the sensations of having her pussy filled with a cock. Now, her pussy was being filled by a cock made of water held together by energy, flexible but sturdy, and I was moving it in and out of her. The water was starting to leave hickeys where I was nibbling and sucking her skin in all sorts of places. It was like I had ten “mouths” to do that with, too, and about that many “hands” with “fingers” stroking and kneading and grasping.