Twelve

“ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME LEAVE MY TENT?” Wendy asked as we sat in Denny’s with coffee and a couple of Slams.

“Do you want to leave your tent?” I asked. She shook her head.

“Not yet.”

“Then no, Tiger,” I said. “I’ll never make you do anything. I just want to be sure you’re all right and let you know you’ve got friends.”

“I know. I see Kate every week and sometimes I see you at the restaurant. I eat pretty well because Carma feeds me. And I’ve been saving. I’ll have enough to rent a room in January,” she said proudly.

“I feel out of touch since you moved out.”

“I touched you all night last weekend,” she giggled. Oh yeah. Wendy slept in our bed between Kate and me after the Halloween party.

“Maybe you should join my blanket brigade on Saturday nights,” I laughed. I told her about the girls coming to keep me warm during the night while I was on duty.

“I’d have to sneak out,” Wendy said. “This is a closed community. They’d frown on me leaving in the middle of the night to sit on your lap. We’re not even allowed to have overnight guests.”

“Well, when you have such close quarters and thin walls, I guess I can understand that. Wendy, you’re really all right, though? Nobody’s like, ordering you around in there, are they?”

“It was a little tense the first few days. But we’re all in the same boat. Nobody gets to be king,” she said. “I have to do what’s on the list. I have to take my shift on security and cleanup, but the women all have daytime shifts. We all have to keep the place clean and abide by the quiet times. But otherwise, we’re pretty independent. I’m not making a bunch of lifelong friends while I’m living there. People care about each other, but they aren’t like friends. We don’t sit around and play checkers. Or sit in bed naked drinking coffee,” she giggled.

“Why did you decide to do this?” I asked. “You know we all care about you and would help.”

“All my life I’ve been ordered around and told how worthless and helpless I am. I have to help myself,” she said looking at me. “Sometime I’ve got to grow a pair of balls like Allison.” We laughed at that.

“You know, I’ve examined her pretty closely and there was no evidence, no matter what Melody says.”

“I’ve been to the financial aid office and they gave me a tuition waiver for the next two quarters,” she said. “It’s not like a scholarship, exactly. I’m not even sure it’s an official financial aid package. It’s not on any of the lists. But I’m going to take it. I’ve been saving all my money so without tuition, I can move into a room in January.”

“Would you consider renting a room from us?” I asked. “You know we’ve got two bedrooms and a bath downstairs.”

“Um ... maybe. Let’s not get too far ahead yet,” she said. “Tony, you and Kate and Lissa and Melody are the sweetest most loving friends I could ever have. You’re the only friends I’ve ever had. I just have to get my head straight before I risk becoming dependent on anyone. I’ve had too much bad experience with Rafe and my father.”

“Do they know where you are living now?” I asked.

“I don’t think so. I tried to keep it a secret from everyone but Kate. I don’t want them to find me at your house, either. They scare me.”

“I understand, Tiger,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure that I did. “As long as you know you’ve got friends and don’t try to hide from us.”

“I won’t.”

“Speaking of which, we’re having a huge family gathering for Thanksgiving. We’d like you to come, too. As family—not a servant.”

Wednesday, I met my anatomy team after practice. We went to the med school and were directed to an amphitheater. I was introduced to a doctor who looked at some of my sketches from the Bodies exhibition while the four of us pulled on what he called ‘scrubs’. We were each given gloves and a mask.

“It’s different seeing a real body than it is seeing one of these that have been preserved,” Doctor Smith said. “Are you up to it?”

“Well, I’m glad my team didn’t give me a chance to eat before we came over, but the only way I’m going to know if I can do it is to do it,” I answered.

“Okay,” he said. “How close do you need to be?”

“When I draw, I’m usually just a few feet away. I’ll have to deal with an angle, so if I’m within about six or seven feet it would be preferable.”

Doctor Smith wheeled a tall stool to the foot the operating table and pointed at Justin.

“Lie down on the table,” he said. Justin stared back with his eyes wide, but he did as the doctor instructed. “I sometimes use this while I’m monitoring students. Now, perch up here and tell me if you have a good enough angle,” he told me.

I sat on the stool and it wasn’t bad. I could almost imagine what it would be like to look inside Justin’s body from this angle.

“This will work,” I said.

“Fine. You can get up now, Justin. We actually have a different subject for dissection.” Justin scrambled off the table. “Now I expect the four of you to disappear. This is a teaching session and I won’t have you interrupting my class. Should any one of you feel faint, it is up to the other three to take care of him or her. Class will be here in ten minutes.”

We walked out into the hall and I spotted a coffee machine. I walked over and slotted a dollar bill into the machine. It spit out a short Americano.

“You sure you want to drink that now?” Amanda said. “My stomach got a little queasy just seeing Justin on the table.”

“I thought you were into this big time,” I said.

“I’ve never actually seen one from this close,” she said. “It looks different from the amphitheater seats.”

“I can imagine,” I said. “Coffee settles my stomach when I’m nervous. I hope the whole thing doesn’t throw me too much.”

“By the way,” Amanda said, “I’m in.”

“Huh?”

“For the nude modeling party. It’s a year of doing new things for me, and I have this urge to get naked in front of a bunch of strangers.” I looked at her in shock. “Anytime the view of a dead body starts getting to you, call that image to mind.” She winked at me.

Damn! A sense of humor? I didn’t think Amanda was even human.

I use a hardboard drawing palette when I can’t have an easel. I have huge binder clips that I can attach paper or a whole pad with, and an oblong hole on two sides that I can use to hang on to it. We marched into the operating theater again with the rest of the class after we’d put on our gloves and masks. It would be different drawing with latex gloves on. I mounted the stool and got ready as Doctor Smith explained the lesson and what our team was doing. Then he nodded to two of the students and told them to bring ‘Ralph’ in. They rolled in a cart with a sheet-covered body on it and positioned it right in front of my stool.

“Listen up. This is your first time with a cadaver. It’s not unusual to feel faint. If you need to back up and sit down for a minute, do so. We talk about cadavers as though they are inanimate objects. But remember that this was once a living, breathing, human being who decided that his death should help advance your education. Be respectful of that memory and honor him by learning all you can.”

The sheet was pulled back. There were six students, Doctor Smith, and the four of us. I glanced up and saw another dozen or so in the seats that surrounded the operating theater. As soon as the sheet was pulled back, I started drawing.

Fortunately, the work went slowly enough that I could keep up with what was happening. It was also helpful that Doctor Smith pointed to and had the class identify each thing that we saw as they cut farther and farther into the back of the once living person. I had to change drawing pads after about an hour. Bree handed me the new pad and took the full one. She also had extra pencils and sharpeners that she handed to me as if I was the surgeon and she a nurse assisting. I noticed, though, that she mostly watched what I was drawing and only occasionally snuck peeks at the body as it was dissected.

For my part, I was lost in what was happening and in what I was seeing. I didn’t have earbuds, but soft music played through the speakers in the room. I was in a different world, following the paths of the neuromuscular system as Doctor Smith pointed them out. It was all a series of interconnected focal points leading from one to the next.