Chapter 3: Saturday Afternoon, 1:47PM

“Whoa,” came a quiet voice from behind him.

Will turned and spotted a pair of boys in band uniforms staring after Tiffany’s car. This feels like a time when I should be a role model. He approached them. They look familiar. Hm. Sophomores. Yeah, I remember. “Hey, guys,” he said, coming to stand a little too close to them. “Tony, right? And ... Chris?”

Tony and Chris exchanged excited looks. “Yeah! {Whoa, he knows my name? 10%}How’d you know?” asked Tony. “And who was that babe? {You were totally makin’ out through the window! 10%}She one of—”

“Tony, Tony,” said Will in a soothing manner. “As the vice president of the student council, I take it as an important responsibility to know everyone at the school. As for who that young woman was, she’s a very good friend of mine.”

“You bangin’ her, too?” asked Chris, staring up at him in awe.

I’m gonna have to have a talk with Don, this is really getting out of control. “Chris, I don’t intend to be mean when I say this, but that’s an incredibly rude thing to ask. What people do in private is nobody’s business but their own. How would you like it, for instance, if people started asking Katie Holcomb what she was doing after the dance last Friday?”

Chris’s eyes bugged out. “How’d you—”

“Let’s not worry about that, eh? At least she had a good time at the dance.” Will said, giving him a friendly grin and clapping him on the shoulder, where he allowed his hand to linger. “You guys are still young, so I’ll take it upon myself to be a good role model. When it comes to anything related to girls, the key words should always be respect and discretion.” His look grew serious, and his grip tightened on the boy’s shoulder. “And always use protection. Got it?”

The boys gulped and nodded.

Will’s lazy grin returned, and he released his hand. “Great, I knew you looked like smart guys. You ever have any questions about that kind of thing, you can come ask me any time.” He glanced over to his left and spotted Alaina standing, arms crossed and foot tapping. “Anyway, I need to get going. Great chatting with you. Say hi to the first chair trumpet for me.” He winked and turned to head back towards his girlfriend.

“Whoa, who’s she?” he heard Tony whisper behind him.

Will grinned. It’s crazy how nobody recognizes her without her glasses.

“Friends of yours?” asked Alaina when he returned, looking slightly annoyed.

“Nope,” said Will. He ran a hand through his hair. “They’re, uh ... Well, I suppose you could say they’re just kids who could use a positive influence.” He grinned more widely.

She rolled her eyes and started towards the bleachers again. “Yeah, right. Teaching them how to pick up girls or something?”

Will chuckled, following next to her on her right. “Something like that.”

A smaller hand gripped his left, and he looked over.

“What?” asked Alaina, her face a pinkish hue.

“I figured you’d be a bit more detached in public. Or, at least, at school,” said Will, looking around.

“I’ll be how I want to be,” said Alaina. She grinned. “New Alaina. Starting yesterday.”

“Huh.” This feels like another one of those things I missed.

Alaina’s forehead creased, and she looked up at him. “I mean, unless you don’t want to—”

“No, no,” said Will, gripping her hand. “If you want to show off what a catch your boyfriend is then I won’t stop you.”

She laughed and leaned into him. “Thanks, Will. Y’know, I was afraid this might be awkward, but it’s ... not.”

“Nah, I’m never awkward,” Will said humbly. They rounded the corner of the bleachers and he scanned the scene. “Awkward would be if Spencer Moran’s new girlfriend Sofia was sitting next to the guys.”

Alaina stiffened beside him.

“She’s not, though,” said Will, continuing to search avidly despite Alaina slapping his arm. “Oh, there they are.”

Daniel and Don were seated at the far end of the moderately-crowded bleachers in the front row. Who’s that girl Don’s talking to? Don’t tell me he has a girlfriend now, too?

“I expected them to be up at the top playing with their phones or something,” said Alaina. She resumed her walk along the walkway at the bottom of the bleachers, thumb wrestling playfully with Will as they moved.

“They’re both big into sports, especially if Vin’s...” He trailed off as he checked the scoreboard. “Huh.”

A massive crack sounded from the field, followed by a whistle which drew their attention. Ah.

Vinnie popped up off the grass on the field nearby with more agility than someone of his size should be capable of. He extended a hand down to help up a player on the ground and hauled him up, then reached down to pick up the guy’s helmet. The other player seemed dazed, tottering on his feet, but he accepted Vinnie’s gift.

“Time out,” came a voice over the loudspeaker.

“Will, I’m not really a sports person,” said Alaina, tugging on his hand. “But football scores don’t usually look like that, do they?”

Will tore his gaze away from the field and looked down at his girlfriend. “No, I think Vin’s taking today’s game a bit more seriously than usual.”

“Yeah, but...” Alaina trailed off, looking between the scoreboard and the field. “I didn’t think our team was that good?”

“According to Vin, it’s not. Usually. But football’s a team game. And Vin’s all about teamwork, and team play, and sportsmanship. And he plays to have fun. So he doesn’t really go all out, because he doesn’t want to carry the team—not fun for him. He just trains enough that he probably could if he felt like it.” Will frowned at the field again. “Something’s changed though, and Vin’s—Oh wow, did he just get benched?”

Vinnie was jogging over to the team’s bench, where the entire rest of the team seemed split between treating him as a messiah or a leper. He took a seat on the bench and placed his helmet under him before guzzling from his water bottle.

“Hey, Will!” yelled a female voice from high up in the bleachers.

Will turned away from the field and squinted up, shielding his eyes against the sun. “Oh hey, Tracy,” he called back, waving with his free hand. “Donna, too.” He squinted. “Evan, is that you? Nice hat!”

“Thanks, man!”

His girlfriend gripped his hand tighter, prompting him to look down.

She gave him a look with one eyebrow raised and gestured with her head.

“No, they’re just a couple girls from the grade below us who I’ve talked to a couple times. What? I didn’t!”

Alaina rolled her eyes and smirked at him.

“Yo, Alaina! You made it!” called Don as they got closer. “Our very own Princess Charming.” He snickered. “Hey, Will, glad you’re here, dude.”

The stocky brunette sitting next to Don turned and whispered to him. Don nodded.

Will and Alaina came to stand in front of them.

“Let me see it,” said Alaina, holding out her free hand.

“C’mon, really?” said Don. He made a face at her.

Alaina stared him down.

“Bruhhh,” said Daniel. He stood up from the end of the bench and came over to throw an arm around Will, separating him from his girlfriend with an an aura of aggressively-applied body spray. His greasy-haired friend spun them around until they were facing the field. “You see what Vin’s been doin’? You shoulda heard the sounds, bruh, they were fuckin’ vicious.”

“Yeah, I heard the last one,” said Will, watching as the clock continued to tick down after a pass was deemed incomplete by the referee. He turned to his friend. “What happened?”

“Will. Bruh. You gotta hear this from me, nobody else is gonna tell it as good.”

The fuckin’ thing was practically over before it started. I never seen anything like it in all my years watchin’ Vin play sports.

Huh?

Yeah, he’s gonna be out for the rest of it, no doubt. Mercy rule, bruh. Yeah, lemme fuckin’ tell the—

What the fuck, now this chick of yours thinks she’s gonna tell me how to—

Don, shut the fuck up.

We were gettin’ here just as the game’s about to start and Vin’s up against the fence here with Rita—That’s his girl there. We come over and she’s layin’ a big smacker on him. Then she’s like a fuckin’ drill sergeant, yellin’ at him to get out there and fuckin’ destroy those pussies.

Bruh, I’m tellin’ you, that’s a fuckin’ direct quote. Swear to fuckin’ God.

See? She’s fuckin’ agreein’ with me!

You know I’m not gonna lie to you, bruh.

The other team’s got this gigantic fuckin’ guy on their line. Prolly benches almost as much as me—the guy’s goin’ fuckin’ beast mode just standin’ around. First play of the game, Vin put him on his ass. Goes through him, sacks the QB. Guy’s fuckin’ out. Had to go in with the fuckin’ salts and everything.

What? Nah, both of ‘em are out. Vin had to fuckin’ carry the big guy off the field.

Yeah, I’m tellin’ you, they woulda needed a fuckin’ forklift or some shit otherwise.

What? The fuck am I gonna go out on the field to help move some guy in the middle of a fuckin’ game?

Yeah, I coulda, but Vin had it under control.

What the—lemme tell the fuckin’ story!

Game was basically over after that. Other team’s line was so terrified of Vin they were pissin’ their fuckin’ pants any time he looked at ‘em.

Yeah, I told Don to get you over here after the first play. Gotta be here to represent our boy in the—

Look, you gonna let me—

Aight, bruh, I’m done.

I can’t tell the fuckin’ story if she’s gonna—

“Was any part of that factual?” asked Alaina, turning to look at Don, who was struggling mightily not to laugh.

Rita had already lost that battle as she rocked with laughter, having pulled the hood of her sweatshirt up and over her head—presumably to block out Daniel’s comical gesturing after her ability to breathe had already been placed in jeopardy by his storytelling.

“Bruh, if you’re gonna bring your chick around with you, at least get her under control,” said Daniel. “I’m tired of—”

“Hey, Daniel, let’s take a little walk and catch up, bud,” Will said, cutting his friend off before he could further rouse the dragon’s ire. “It feels like ages since we’ve hung out, doesn’t it?” He started walking his friend back the way he’d just come in.

“Bruhh, I know exactly whatchu mean,” said Daniel. He broke away and stretched his arms over his head, letting out a powerful yawn. “Every time we been about to hang out or whatever lately, some crazy shit always happens. And then the whole thing this past week...” He sighed. “Will, I miss the old days, back when shit was simple, y’na’mean?”

He’s not wrong. “Yeah, things have been pretty crazy lately, haven’t they?” Will turned and leaned against the fence in front of the bleachers, looking out over the field as play continued. “Sorry, you guys must’ve been helping Alaina out a bit this week, huh?”

Daniel reclined himself against the fence, facing back towards the bleachers. “Bruh, you fuckin’ serious right now?” He gave Will a disgusted look. “Don’t fuckin’ apologize. None-a that shit was your fault. And you woulda done the same for any-a us. You don’t ever gotta apologize for bein’ our friend—for bein’ my friend.”

Will stared out onto the field, watching the still-scoreless opposing team struggle closer to their first points. “Thanks, bud,” he said after a minute.

“You know we got your back, bruh,” Daniel said, nodding. “I was gettin’ ready to call in a favor from Ange or Keith if shit didn’t get fixed last night. And you know how Keith woulda handled it.”

Right up the chain to my father, or someone who would’ve told him along the way to fixing it. “I...” Will looked down at the ground in front of him and frowned. “I’m really glad you didn’t.”

Daniel turned around and rested a hand on his taller friend’s shoulder. “I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I was about to call him soon as I heard on Thursday. Don started ringin’ again just as I was about to press the fuckin’ button, kept sayin’ Alaina’s got a plan, Alaina’s gonna figure it out, give her a day.”

Will’s friend let his hand slip and leaned his elbows on the fence, hanging his head. “Bruh, after last time, when I found out, I swore to myself. I said never again. Nah, bruh, once is more than enough for that shit. I know you woulda stopped bein’ friends with me if I made that call, but ... I woulda done it anyway.”

Neither of them said anything for the next few minutes, watching as Vinnie’s absence on the field led to a first touchdown being given up.

“Thanks, Daniel,” said Will, not looking over.

“No prob, Will.”

Will smiled a little. “So if you were willing to go that far, was Don’s whole plan just waiting to see what Alaina did?”

Daniel began to chuckle. “Bruh, that was the reason I didn’t make the call.” He gave his friend a sober look. “You know me, I’m not gonna do some seriously crazy shit. Don, though, he said: if it’s not dealt with by the weekend...”

They turned to look towards the other end of the bleachers, where their other friend was sitting with his hands up in a defensive posture as Alaina leaned over him aggressively, pointing her finger at the phone in her hand. He raised his hands, gesticulating wildly as he shook his head.

“I’m not gonna tell you what he said he was gonna do,” Daniel said in a subdued tone. “You don’t gotta know. But he hasn’t changed since he was a kid, bruh. When we’d be playin’ games over at his place and he was destroyin’ us, and we kept askin’ him to go easy on us—remember how he’d just laugh? I thought he grew outta that, but he’s still a ruthless fuck when he’s gotta be.”

Will stared at the other end of the bleachers a while longer before turning back to the field.

“Shit, I shouldn’t-a said nothin’,” said Daniel, tapping a fist on the fence a couple times. “I just wanted you to know we got your back, bruh.”

The football game continued. Vinnie shot to his feet, cheering his team on as one of the players made an interception.

“You really would’ve called Keith first?” Will asked.

Daniel gave him a confused look.

“You hate Keith,” said Will, a grin spreading over his face.

His friend grinned back. “We kinda patched shit up at Pops’s birthday last month. The old fuck locked us in a room, said he was getting’ Dad to disinherit both of us if we didn’t stop actin’ like babies. Shit, bruh, Keith’s like a fuckin’ old man now. I never thought about it ‘till then, but he’s almost fuckin’ thirty.” He started to laugh.

Will chuckled. Daniel’s family always did prefer more direct—and permanent—approaches to problem solving.

“So yeah, we’re not tight like you and Marissa, but he’d pick up if I was callin’. And he’d at least hear me out if I said I was gonna tell Pops otherwise. You know I’m his favorite.” Daniel grinned slyly.

Will broke into a laugh. “Yeah, that sounds more like it. He’ll never completely forgive you after you almost totaled his car.”

“Bruh! What the fuck, why you gotta bring that up again?” Daniel looked outraged. “That was like, five fuckin’ years ago! It’s like the fuckin’ stone age!”

“Hey, if it’s like the stone age to you, it was probably more like yesterday for him since he’s so old now,” said Will. “That’s why I figured you’d call Ange first.”

His greasy-haired friend gave him a look. “Nah, I wasn’t gonna seriously call him. What’s he gonna do, call up Floyd or one-a his other fuckin’ idiot friends and let ‘em try to figure it out with their Skills? That shit could go either way, bruh, and I wasn’t gonna fuck around on somethin’ like this. Ange means well, but he’s ... You know, he’s Ange.”

“I suppose I should be relieved you were prepared to go with the nuclear option, then.”

“Bruh, you know I gotta be makin’ the biggest boom wherever I go.”

“Like when you crashed us into that fucking giant rock?”

“What the fuck, bruh, how you even gonna remember that shit? Fuck, that practically happened before the fuckin’ big bang.”

“Damn, really? I must be going senile, because I could have sworn you just admitted it was only five years ago.”

“—Alright, I promise: I’ll never break into your office again,” said Don, looking defeated. “Happy?”

Daniel led the way as they arrived back at the rest of the group. “Aight, I had to give my boy Will a little pep talk ‘cuz he was gettin’ depressed after they took Vin out, but we good now.” He gave Don a look.

“If we’re good, how about one of you gets my phone back from Principal Alaina?” said Don. “I was just getting ready to start sexting this girl—”

“Hey,” said Daniel. He fixed Alaina with a look that would brook absolutely no nonsense. “Give the man his fuckin’ phone back. That’s serious shit. You don’t fuck with a man when he’s gettin’ his game on.”

Alaina wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, are you kidding me?” She looked at Don. “Really?”

“I wasn’t gonna make a big deal out of it, but—”

“You send her any dick pics yet?” Alaina asked, eyeing the phone suspiciously.

“Alaina, c’mon, I’m not Daniel.”

“What the f—”

“Alright, let’s see what this game of yours looks like,” said Alaina, taking a seat next to Don and holding the phone between them. She tapped at it for a moment, then frowned. “Really? You call this game?”

“Like you could do better, dude?” Don taunted. “This is a little too high level for a student council president.”

Rita looked on from Don’s other side in fascination.

What the hell? Will stood and gawked. Don’s talking to her like she’s one of the guys!

“After the past few days she’s like, a bruh-in-law now that you two’re goin’ out,” Daniel whispered a little too loudly.

What.

“I’ll only show you this one time,” said Alaina, looking over at Will’s long-haired nineteen year-old friend. “You sure you want me to use it on this girl, or do you—”

“You remember that cute waitress I told you about? Would you believe Tiffany pointed out her younger sister last night—there for a friend’s birthday—and I got her number? She was hilarious, too, dude. Check this out, I got a pic...”

Alaina and Rita both leaned in closer.

“Oh, she’s cute!” exclaimed Rita.

“Don, she’s way out of your league,” Alaina said. “It’s a good thing I’m here. Clear your schedule for the rest of the day.” She started tapping on the phone.

“Actually, I got a—”

“Don.”

“Alright, dude, whatever you say. Wait, you can’t—You sent that?”

“First I need to salvage something out of the wreckage of your so-called game. What the fuck, Don, use your brain a little.”

I sort of want to know how this plays out, but I also—

Alaina looked up and winked at him. “I’ll be done in a sec, Will.”

“Whoa, she already replied! She was taking way longer when—Alaina, no!”

“Stop being such a wimp, Don. Look, she already replied again.”

Daniel walked over and craned his head in.

Alaina looked up and grimaced, wrinkling her nose at the same time. “Look, if you’re trying to learn from the master, Daniel, at least stay downwind. You smell gross.” She went back to typing on the phone as Daniel shuffled to the side.

“Is this like, some kinda Skill or something?” Don asked, watching with wide eyes.

Alaina snorted. “Yeah, right. Rita, you could do this, couldn’t you?”

The stocky brunette shook her head emphatically, her gaze riveted to the phone’s screen. “Nope, no way! That’s ... Wow, um ... Do you message a lot of girls like this?”

The redhead blushed slightly. “No! Why would you even ask that? It’s just—”

“Bruh, how you even comin’ up with this shit?”

Will’s pocket buzzed. He pulled out his phone and managed to look away from the spectacle long enough to check the notification, followed by his messages.

Kay: Can’t wait to see you again tonight! Toby says hi!

Attached to the message was a photo of a small brown kitten with his head poking out of an overflowing laundry hamper.

He’s way too cute. Hm, I still have to figure out some way to bring this up with Alaina. And Kay. I ... should probably check with Kay first. Don’t want to seem like I’m pressuring her. He glanced up.

“Dude, are you fucking serious? Why would she wanna go there?”

“Just give her a second to reply ... And now we just have to pick a time!”

“Dude.”

Will grinned and pressed the call button on his phone. He held the phone to his ear and took a few steps away.

“Will! Hi!” Kay answered after a single ring.

“Hey, Kay, you start getting dressed up for tonight yet?” Will teased.

“You never told me which outfit you liked best, jerk. And if you just come straight here then I don’t have to wear anything at all,” Kay teased back.

“Skipping straight to the drooling tomorrow morning?”

“Ugh, I was really hoping you’d forget about that,” she said in a disappointed tone.

“Holy shit!” came a yell from behind him.

“Who was that?” asked Kay.

“Eh just some people taking a sexting class. Don’t worry about it.”

Kay laughed. “A likely story. So um...” she hesitated briefly. “What do you wanna do tonight? Is it just sex or...” her voice trailed off in an uncertain tone.

Ah shit, I probably should have led with something else. “Actually, would you be terribly disappointed if I said there might be no sex at all?”

“Oh. Um, sorry, was I too—”

“No, no, it’s not you, it’s me. Ah, shit,” he laughed. “This is a weird call, sorry. I’ve never done this before. Uh ... I was calling to see if you might be interested in err ... something a little unusual tonight?”

“Unusual how?” asked Kay, sounding suddenly wary.

“Well...” How do I even phrase this... “I remember you saying you liked redheads last week? Girls, that is.”

“Did I really tell you that?” Kay said suspiciously. “I don’t remember talking about it.”

“Uh...” Fuck, I hate this Trait so much. “Anyway, I was thinking maybe we could go to karaoke again somewhere?”

“Okay, how’s that unusual? You gonna sing show tunes all night?”

Will chuckled. “Can’t say I know many of those. No, I um ... I have someone who I think would want to meet you if you’re up to it?”

The line went silent for a while. “Let me guess,” Kay said at last with heat in her voice, “you took some nudes of me and showed ‘em to a friend, and now you think I’m gonna be down to have a fucking threesome?”

What. “No. No, no, definitely not! Kay, I’d never do that, I promise. It’s a girl!”

“Why would a girl you know wanna meet me?”