Chapter 18: Monday Afternoon, 5:14PM

“Now do you see?” Laura asked, sounding exhausted. “Just let me go. I’ve ruined everything I ever loved. You don’t have to—”

“I’m going to.” Alaina hugged the larger girl protectively, pressing the blonde head into her shoulder. She sniffled. “I’m going to, Laura.”

Laura was silent. Limp.

What do I do? Fuck, fuck, FUCK! I was wrong! I’m sorry, Laura! I’m really sorry! I thought so many horrible things about you! And all you wanted—all you needed—was someone to talk to. Someone who really cared about you.

What do I DO? I must be able to do something. I have to.

I have to make it up to her.

Am I ... Am I a bad person? Alaina shuddered. I am. I’m a bad person. Oh no. I almost let her leave! I ALMOST LET HER LEAVE!

Tears trickled down her face once more, taking the same familiar path they’d used for the past couple hours. I never tried to get to know her. I judged her just like everyone else. I thought she was an escort! I thought she was using Will for money!

I put her in a hospital. She’s afraid of doctors, and I put her in a hospital!

I gave her a fork. I ... I gave her a fork.

I hated her.

I almost let her leave.

“I’m sorry,” Laura mumbled again. “I’m so sorry, Alaina. But I don’t—” She cleared her throat. “I don’t want you to forgive me. I just want to go. I’ll drive back ... I’ll go see Ceci one more time. I’ll say goodbye. And then... “

Alaina hugged her tighter. “No. No, no, no, no, no! No! NO!” She rocked back and forth as she clutched at the seemingly-lifeless girl. “Laura, no! You can’t! I won’t let you!”

“Mom and Dad were right, Alaina,” Laura said in a completely dead voice, making no motion to pull away. “I’m just ... Just a burden. I weighed them down. They’ll be happier without me. Ceci will, too. Saying goodbye ... I just want to be selfish one last time.”

“What about Will?” Alaina asked, her vision blurry with tears as she tried to come up with an idea. “What’ll he say if he finds out you killed yourself after you promised? You know how he feels about promises!”

“He’ll be happier with me gone, too. He wasn’t himself last night.” Laura shifted slightly. “I realized it while we were talking. He didn’t really remember last night. He never said anything except that he forgave me. He was just saying it. He was trying to be nice to me again. Will was always so nice to me.”

Mom, please get home soon! I need you! Alaina struggled to think of something—anything—to say, to give the despondent girl in her arms some shred of hope to cling to.

“What about Carla?” Alaina tried desperately. “You said she’s your friend! Won’t—”

“Carla has her own problems to deal with,” Laura said. “She’ll be happier if she doesn’t have to deal with mine, too.”

I don’t have anything else. What else can I say? I’m sorry, Laura. I wish I’d known! I ... Maybe I would have found another way last week? Maybe I could’ve talked to you before you did it? I didn’t know.

I wish I could go back. I wish I could go back and be your friend. You needed a friend so much, but I never knew.

I wish I could go back.

“Laura, what about me?” Alaina said, squeezing her wet eyes shut. This is all I have to offer. I’m sorry, Laura. It’s not enough. I’m just a terrible person trying to make herself feel better.

“What about you?” Laura murmured.

“I...” Alaina struggled to get the words out. “I want to be your friend.”

“No you don’t.”

“Let me try.”

“You don’t want to. I can tell.”

“I’m telling you I do!”

“You don’t.”

“Stay here,” Alaina said after sniffling again. She wiped her eyes. “At least for tonight. Please, Laura?”

Laura pulled away, reaching for her nearly-empty glass of water. “Thirsty.”

Alaina hesitantly let her up, ready to tackle her to the ground if she tried to run.

Laura finished her water. She turned to look back at the girl who claimed she wanted to be friends. “Why?” she asked. “You hated me until a couple hours ago.” She stared at Alaina, squinting slightly. “I thought it would be pity.” She sighed and leaned into the couch, her face tilted up at the ceiling. “I don’t understand you at all.”

The sound of the garage door opening startled both of them.

Laura sat up, her suddenly-alert eyes darting back and forth. “I need to—”

Alaina tackled her back onto the couch, wrapping her arms around the older girl’s. “It’s okay, Laura. It’s just Mom.”

“Let go!” Laura squirmed frantically, trying to dislodge the smaller girl. “She’ll put me in one of those prisons! She’ll—”

“She won’t!” Alaina yelled, planting her hands on Laura’s shoulders as she stared down into the girl’s wide, terrified eyes. “Mom would never do something like that!”

“How do you know what she’d do?” Laura said quietly, going limp once more and pounding the back of her head against the couch cushion. “People lie all the time. Parents...” She squeezed her eyes shut and sniffled. “Parents lie the most,” she whispered. “I can’t feel anything from her,” she said, her voice tinged with rising hysteria as she started to struggle against Alaina’s newly-entangled limbs. “You said you wanted to help me!” She glared accusingly. “You’re just like everyone else!”

The door to the garage opened.

“Girls?” Mom called.

Laura went still and closed her eyes, and a tear ran down the outside of her face. “Fine,” she said in a soft, ragged voice as another tear rolled down after the first, “I’ll go. I’ll go. Just ... Can you let me see Ceci one more time first? Please? Just for a—”

“Alaina? Laura?” Mom’s voice came closer.

“We’re in here!” Alaina called over her shoulder, her voice cracking. She looked back down at Laura. Her eyes felt hot. “You’re staying,” she whispered.

Laura didn’t reply.

“What’s going on?” Mom asked, sounding concerned. “Laura, are you okay? I thought you were coming to see me after school.”

“Mom,” Alaina said, turning her head to look over her shoulder. “Laura can stay here tonight, can’t she? She can stay, right?”

“Of course she can,” Mom said in a motherly voice. She moved closer and placed a hand on Alaina’s shoulder and squeezed gently as she sat on the coffee table. Her other hand went to Laura’s shoulder and repeated the motion. “Laura, why—”

“What does one night matter?” Laura said, starting to sob. “Why drag it out! Just take me in already!”

Mom gave her daughter a confused look.

“She thinks...” Alaina sniffled and blinked a tear of her own away. “She thinks you’re going to put her in a mental hospital.” She turned to look at her mom. “You wouldn’t do that, right, Mom?”

Mom’s gaze turned compassionate. “Laura, look at me,” she said. “Laura. Laura!”

Laura’s eyes snapped open, and she shivered as she turned her head, her eyes open too wide and moving around wildly in their sockets.

“I’m not putting you anywhere, Laura,” Mom said in a gentle voice. “You were never officially admitted for anything more than a mild seizure. I already filed your discharge paperwork.” She rubbed the frightened girl’s shoulder, then ran her hand affectionately over her face in order to brush hair away from it. “You don’t have to go back, okay? You can stay here if you want to.” She looked over at her daughter and patted a spot on the coffee table next to her, pushing aside an empty drinking glass and bowl in the process. “Let her up, sweetie. Don’t suffocate her.”

Alaina moved back warily, ready to pounce again at any second as she stepped off the couch and sat next to her mom.

“I...” Laura sniffled and rubbed at her eyes with both hands. “I can’t feel anything from you,” she whispered. “I want ... I want to believe you, but...” She sniffled again and wiped tears from her wet cheeks.

“Is that what this is about?” Mom asked, giving her patient a tender look. She reached over and rubbed her thumb under Laura’s eye, wiping the spot clean, then let her hand rest against the girl’s cheek. “I should’ve thought about that after seeing your history. There we go. How’s that?”

Laura froze. Her eyes bulged as she stared at Mom. “Am I ... Are ... Are you real?” she whispered.

Mom pinched the girl’s cheek, then moved her hand away. Her lips curled into a reassuring smile.

Laura slowly moved her hand to her cheek, a disbelieving look on her face as she sat up.

Mom nodded. She spread her arms just in time to catch Laura as the girl dove into her embrace and wrapped shaking arms around her neck. The doctor picked up her patient effortlessly and moved back to the couch, her presence growing to fill the room completely.

What’s going on? Alaina watched her mom in confusion as a familiar feeling grew inside of her, causing her to relax and her worries to evaporate.

“You’ve been alone and afraid for so long, haven’t you?” Mom murmured, one hand rubbing in a circle on Laura’s back while the other stroked the back of the girl’s head as it pressed firmly into her shoulder. “You don’t need to be afraid here, Laura. You don’t ever have to be afraid as long as you’re here.”

Alaina felt it.

Safety.

The surety that nothing bad would happen. That nothing bad could happen ever again.

Mom looked up at her after a minute. “Lainy, I’ll take it from here. Don’t you need to get ready?”

“What?”

“It’s about five thirty right now,” Mom said, continuing to stroke Laura’s still-trembling back. “Didn’t you say you had to be somewhere by six?”

“Oh fuck!” Alaina scrambled to her feet but stopped short of moving farther as she stared anxiously down at Laura clinging to her mom.

“Hold on, don’t run off just yet,” Mom said gently while rolling her eyes. “Come here.” She beckoned with one hand.

Alaina leaned in absently, her thoughts already starting to race.

Mom poked her on the forehead. “Okay, that should do it.” She gestured with her head to get going.

Is she really gonna be okay? Alaina looked back and forth between the two worriedly.

Mom gestured again, showing a relaxed smile. “It’s okay, Laura,” she said, running her fingers through the blonde tresses resting somewhat more peacefully against her shoulder. “I’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

Laura shuddered, burrowing her face deeper into the collar of Mom’s dress shirt.

Mom gestured a third time towards the door, raising her eyebrows. “We’ll talk later. Be careful,” she mouthed.

Alaina nodded slowly, then started walking backwards towards the doorway leading to the kitchen.

She grabbed her phone out of her bag in a daze, then started fumbling through the notifications of a missed call and messages as she made her way towards and up the stairs, looking back into the den as she passed.

Mom was still seated on the couch. Laura was draped across her lap, looking like she never wanted to let go.

What was that? It was like I could sense emotions in there. She stared at her messages again, trying to make sense of the words on the screen.

Tiff: All set for tonight! Be nice to Bryan! Good luck!

She tapped out a quick reply as she crossed the threshold into her bedroom. Will called, too. Fuck, how is all of this happening today? Is Laura...

Is she really going to be okay? She stopped in front of her closet, clenching her hands. I didn’t know what to do! She looked at the next message thread.

Handsome Asshole: Heading over to meet Vin at the gym now. I’ll give you a call when I get out?

1 missed call from Handsome Asshole

Handsome Asshole: Just got out. Sorry, running a little late. Everything okay?

Alaina tapped out another reply. At least he’s not here already. Fuck, what am I even going to wear? This feels so pointless. I just want to stay and be here for Laura now.

She started picking through her closet. Argh! I still like Will a lot. I need to be there for him, too. Need something elegant...

She stopped at a certain high-necked black dress. I haven’t worn this one in a long time. What was it again? Some hospital function or other. Should be fine. She placed her glasses on her dresser, then activated her cleaning Skill and started stripping out of her skirt and blouse.

“Let’s see how bad it is,” Alaina muttered as she hastened into her bathroom. She looked into the mirror and frowned. What the fuck.

There was no evidence that she’d spent most of her afternoon in tears. Her face was clear of all marks, showing only the perfect, pale skin that her Trait had given her.

My eyes aren’t even red. How—

Her phone began to ring where she’d placed it on the counter.

Fuck. She answered. “Hi, Will,” she said, trying to seem some kind of cheerful.

“Hey, Alaina,” he said, sounding relieved. “Just calling to let you know I’m here like you said in the message. Everything alright?”

“Just finishing my makeup. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“Uh ... Is that Laura’s car?”

“Yup. Can we talk when I get down there? I can put on mascara one-handed, but it’s going to take longer.”