“Deflate Gate Blood Pressure Clinic, this is Nurse Michelle, how can I help you?”

“Oh, you’re a big, strong man and someone has recommended you come see us? Wonderful. What time can you come in? Oh, you’re going to the gym and can’t get here until 9? That would be perfect. I’ll let my assistants know and we’ll have a room all ready for you. We’ll see you then.”

I hang up the phone

(Evil laugh) “Girls, it looks like someone has found another “patient” for us. Who is pumped for some energy draining fun tonight?” (evil laugh) “Call the supply store and order tons of BALLOONS!” (Evil laugh) “Get the blood pressure cuffs and the thermometers and stethoscopes ready as well.” (Evil laugh)

some time later

It is now 9PM

You sit in the Deflate Gate Blood Pressure Clinic waiting room

“Chris...”

You see me standing at the reception desk wearing a green scrub top “Come on back”

I walk you down a hall and into an exam room

“Welcome to the Deflate Gate Blood Pressure Clinic, I’m Nurse Michelle, I’ll be leading your exam tonight. Some of my nurses will be assisting me as well.”

“So, what are we in for, just a check up? Very good.” (to self) “I’m going to lead him through this “check-up” and slowly drain his energy” (evil laugh) (to self) “Once I’ve weakened him enough, I’ll lay him down and load his shirt with balloons and I will COMPLETELY bloat him and finish completely draining him of all of his energy” (Evil laugh)

“Let’s start off with some vitals, shall we?” I walk to the door and open it “Susan, Brittany, are we ready? Are we pumped girls?” (giggle)

“Vitals are your pulse, heart rate, temperature, and BP”

Two women walk in. Susan is a short redhead wearing a green scoop neck top and carrying an automatic wrist cuff

Brittany is taller with dark hair and wears a red blouse. She carries a manual blood pressure cuff packed in it’s bag

“Ladies, will you get some BPs on him while I take a listen to him? Brittany, get a BP on his left arm, and Susan, set up your wrist cuff on his right wrist. We like doing BPs here at the clinic” (giggle)

Brittany walks to your left and places the blood pressure cuff bag on the table and begins to unpack it

Susan walks to your right and slides the automatic cuff onto your wrist

I slip into my scrub top and pull out my folded stethoscope. I lean in and speak softly (softly) “Shhh, this is our secret. I keep my stethoscope in my top to keep it warm” (giggle)

You feel Brittany wrapping her cuff around your left arm as I put my stethoscope in my ears, and then slip it in through the neck of your shirt

(improv/lead me through breathing and you listening)

“Susan, you can start the wrist cuff. Let’s see how his BP is”

(beep beep beep) “I am starting the wrist cuff. You may feel it get tight as it inflates” (giggle)

I move the stethoscope inside your shirt “Do you have any questions for me as we do this?” (improv through listening)

“What is BP?” (giggle) I lean in and speak softly and sensually, knowing this will get to you (softly) “BP stands for blood pressure” (giggle)

“His blood pressure is 110/70 ... oh, his BLOOD PRESSURE just jumped a bit.” (giggle) I’m now showing blood pressure 115/72.”

“Huh ... Am I jacking you up a bit Chris?” (giggle) (softly) “Tell me honestly Chris, am I getting you all pumped up?” (evil laugh)

“Brittany, do his blood pressure. Pump him up!” (evil laugh)

“I’d be happy to pump him up -- I mean, do his blood pressure” (giggle) Brittany pumps rapidly (imitate a pumping noise)

“Don’t mind me Chris, you just might feel some pressure as I pump you up.” (giggle)

“Do it! Blow him up!” (evil laugh)--- “I mean, blow it up” (giggle) “I want him to know that he is being PUMPED UP!” (evil laugh) --- “I mean, that we are doing his blood pressure” (giggle)

“That’s right Chris. We are pumping you up!” (evil laugh) (Softly) “Now just relax ... You’re so big and strong ... I need you to behave for me...” (to self) “Until I weaken you to the point that I know you won’t be able to fight us” (evil laugh)

“So ... his blood pressure seems to be climbing for some reason, Susan, as soon as Brittany gets a reading, restart your wrist cuff” (giggle)

“While we’re getting your...” (giggle) “Blood pressure (giggle) “do you have any more questions for us?”

“What is the major difference between manual and automatic blood pressure readings? That’s an excellent question”

“Some people believe manual blood pressure cuffs are more accurate, but the real benefit is that to do a manual blood pressure, you need pump up the cuff” (evil laugh) “Yes, I said we need to pump up the cuff, like we’re doing to right now. We are pumping you up” (evil laugh) (softly) “Relax ... Be a good boy for Nurse Michelle” (evil laugh)

(hisssss) “Uh oh, blood pressure, 117/79” (giggle) “Something is jacking up his blood pressure” (giggle)

“Honestly, it’s really not all that high, it’s actually a little low, but you’re right, something is filling up that “pressure meter” of his...” (evil laugh)

“Chris, we can’t let you leave here until we get to the bottom of this. If we need to, we’ll give you drugs to knock you unconscious...” (evil laugh) “You don’t want us to do that though, so just be a good boy for us and let me figure out why you’re blood pressure keeps going up” (evil laugh)

“Susan, restart the wrist cuff. Get it completely inflated!” (evil laugh)

(beep beep beep beep) “I’m resetting the wrist cuff and it’s going to inflate” (giggle)

“Chris ... your blood pressure seems to be rising. Are you okay? Why is your blood pressure rising? What am I doing to your blood pressure?” (evil laugh) “You need to tell me Chris ... why is your blood pressure going up ... and up ... and up... ?” (evil laugh)

“It’s almost as though someone is jacking YOU up as we take your blood pressure...” (evil laugh) “Brittany, something is jacking up his blood pressure, After Susan has a reading, pump him up again” (evil laugh)

(hissssss) “Blood pressure 122/82...”

“Do it Brittany! Pump him up!” (evil laugh)

(Do some pumping) (evil laugh) “I’m pumping you up” (evil laugh) (more pumping)

“It’s okay Chris. We are trained professionals and I assure you that we know exactly what we’re doing. Are you feeling ... pressured?” (evil laugh) “Do you have any other questions for me?”

“Why do we call this clinic Deflate Gate ... Ahhh, another good question ... You’re full of them today, (softly) “and soon, I’ll have you full of something else, something that will weaken you, and drain you of your strength and completely drain you” (evil laugh) “Susan, do you know why my clinic has been named Deflate Gate?” (Evil laugh)

Susan winks

“As soon as we have this blood pressure situation figured out, I will tell you why it’s called Deflate Gate. I promise I will tell you” (evil laugh) “What’s his blood pressure Brittany?”

(hissss) “Blood pressure 125/85 ... something is blowing him up” (giggle)

“Chris ... Talk to Nurse Michelle. Tell me what is going on with your blood pressure.” (evil laugh)

“Well, if you can’t tell me, we’re going to need to keep taking your blood pressure until we find out, so you have a choice. You can tell me what’s going on, or I’ll keep doing your blood pressure”

I move my stethoscope onto your left pec and apply a little pressure “Let’s get his temperature and see where that is”

Susan slips into her top and pulls out a thermometer and sets it (beep beep beep) “open wide” (giggle) Susan slides the thermometer into your mouth. It has a bit of a sweet taste to it

“That’s one our thermometers ... right?” (evil laugh)

“Oh yeah...” (giggle) “Does anyone know any lullabies” (evil laugh)

I move my stethoscope to your right pec and apply more pressure. I take a peek downward “Oh... “ (giggle) “And it appears his uh... “pressure meter” is filling up. He’s probably a modest man, Brittany do have something to provide him a little “privacy”” (evil laugh)

(giggle) “I’ve got just the thing, tucked into my blouse” (giggle)

You start to feel drowsy and can’t help leaning back. As you do, you see Brittany pull a yellow balloon from out of her blouse

I slide my stethoscope out of your shirt and place it around my neck. Brittany gives the balloon a few stretches and then tosses it to me

You mumble, becoming more drowsy as our drugged thermometer makes you sleepier

I put the balloon to my lips and blow (blow, a few times) I tie it off at about bowling ball size as I tease you

“Oh, this, don’t worry about this” (evil laugh) “Since you can’t tell me what’s going on with your blood pressure, I need to run some...” (evil laugh) “ ‘tests’ on you...” (evil laugh)

“This...” I twirl the balloon as I speak “is just a balloon that I’ve blown up. I’m going to slip it under your top and place it on your belly so that you don’t have to worry about all these sexy women seeing your pressure meter” (Giggle) “It might make you feel a little bloated...” (evil laugh)

You squirm as I lift up your shirt and slide the balloon onto your stomach “There we go...” (giggle) I see that the drugged thermometer is starting to work, and know that the blown up balloon has sapped you of a little energy and enjoy the moment “Are you okay Chris? You look a little...” (lean in softly and whisper) “weaker...” (evil laugh) “It’s almost as though someone is slowly sapping you of your energy and making you weaker...” (evil laugh)

“Oh, and I forgot to mention that balloons being in your shirt will also make it a bit harder for you to squirm so much. Oh, and as we inflate balloons, we drain your energy as well.” (evil laugh)

(evil laugh) “huh ... so, someone is making you weaker ... That’s right big boy, I’m draining your energy and sapping you of your strength” (evil laugh) “That’s right. I’m doing this to you” (evil laugh)

I quickly slip a pink balloon from out of my top and Susan hands me an air gun. I slide the balloon into the air gun and squeeze the trigger (evil laugh) (hissssssss) “The balloon slowly fills ... taking it’s shape and then moving to melon size* (evil laugh) (hisssss) “I am draining you...” (evil laugh)

You get a burst of adrenaline and sit up, spitting out the thermometer and getting a hold on me, deciding what to do

“Uh oh ladies, he’s getting an adrenaline burst, does anyone have any more thermometers” (evil laugh) While you are still very strong, I continue to pump up the pink balloon with the air gun and drain your energy (hisssss) (evil laugh) “Don’t mind me, I’m going to keep pumping up this balloon to suck more energy out of you ... I can see you getting weaker ... I know you’re big and strong, but I also know you’ve been drugged, and drained a bit, and that I am draining you more” (evil laugh)

“I”ve got a ‘thermometer’ “ Brittany says (giggle) “This one will go under your armpit, hold still for me” Brittany lifts up your left arm

You barely hear Brittany and continue watching me as I smile, and continue to fill up the pink balloon (evil laugh) While you are still plenty strong enough to overpower me, seeing me smiling and hearing me laugh, and seeing the balloon filling, and it slowly taking more of your energy seems to be captivating you...

(hissssss) (evil laugh) (softly) “I’m draining you. The bigger this balloon gets, the more of your energy I sap. Since you’re so big and strong why don’t you try and stop me ... Fight me Chris...” (hisssssss) (evil laugh) I know you are captivated and continue to tease you “Awww, what’s the matter big boy ... Is my balloon draining that much of your energy... ? or is watching me do it keeping you still?” (evil laugh)

“‘do his temperature’ Brittany! Susan, get another balloon. Let’s drain more of his energy!” (evil laugh)

pinchSuddenly you feel a slight pinch in your left armpit and you feel much sleepier. You fall back down onto the bed

“I got him!” (evil laugh) Brittany laughs as she puts her stethoscope back on and skillfully slips it into the cuff (do some fast pumping) (evil laugh) “and now that I’ve drugged you, I’m pumping you up again. (evil laugh)

Watching Brittany is getting to you, so you turn your head, only to see Susan pull a red balloon from her top and stretching it out before blowing it up (blow)

I slide my pink balloon off the air gun and tie it off “Chris ... over here ... I want to watch me as I drain you of even more of your energy and make you even weaker. I’m going to completely drain you!” (evil laugh)

You squirm and watch as I lean in and slide my stethoscope back in through the neck of your shirt “Stay still Chris. If you keep squirming, I’ll keep drugging you and I will knock you unconscious” (evil laugh)

I move my stethoscope inside your shirt “That special thermometer Brittany got you with is going to make you very sleepy and I’ve got plenty more tricks if you really want a nap” (evil laugh) “I also think you might like to know that Susan is draining a bit of your energy with her pretty balloon” (evil laugh)

You squirm “Awww, the adrenaline dump from realizing what we’re really doing to you will weaken you even more. We got him girls!” (evil laugh)

“So Chris, now that you’re nice and weak and you won’t be going anywhere, let me welcome you again to the Deflate Gate Blood Pressure Clinic” (evil laugh)

“We lure guys in, and then trap them, and drain their energy, and jack their blood pressure sky high, and then ... we pop them. Boom” (evil laugh) “I decided to name the clinic Deflate Gate because of how patients are right before we discharge them ... completely deflated” (evil laugh) “That’s right. We’re going to fill up your ‘pressure meter’ as we drain you and you get weaker. When you have almost nothing left, we’ll pop you. Then, once you pop, you will be completely drained and have no energy at all and we’ll drug you to knock you out and let you sleep it off. (evil laugh) Oh, and when we’re through with you, after your ‘balloon’ pops, you will be COMPLETELY DEFLATED” (evil laugh)

(evil laugh) “We planned and plotted and we brought you in, and we were completely prepared to carry out our devious plan. We got you!” (evil laugh) “Now that you’re trapped, it’s time to jack you up and pop you” (evil laugh)

(ring ring) The phone rings “Uh oh ... my phone is blowing up. I have to get this” (evil laugh)

“Deflate Gate Blood Pressure Clinic, this is Nurse Michelle, do you need to be deflated” (evil laugh)

“Oh ... hello Jeannine ---- ... Yes, Chris is here ... Oh, you have special orders for us to perform on him?”