Chapter 4: Cunnilingus Classes for the Troops

[Bridging international relations while the wars rage on]

War is Hell - 1968.

Half way around the planet Earth I was having dinner with two Army cooks, a clerk and Hanna my impromptu German bath giver. I was not a radio operator in Vietnam which I was trained to be. I was a giver of passion newly met and arrived in a foreign land getting taken care of quite nicely as a mere private first class. The possible war I’d missed at the Czech border waged on as a stand off and I was not exactly yet working for a living, my $69.00 per month including room and board.

As I found out at dinner Hanna was a part time employee of the Army working in the snack bar. Now the Army was gone and she had been laid off. But somehow she reasoned she would assume her role as my care giver while I waited out the return of her employers. Nobody seemed to think it too odd because Rudy the clerk/jeep driver had told her about me, the one and only new arrival.

We had a great time at dinner having some drinks and laughing at our own jokes as I told them about my life in Hawaii working at Pepo Auto Center. I had nothing to hide. I told them all, every detail and they really thought it was cool. I was a “virgin in paradise”, stayed a virgin almost all the while and it got them cheering for me as Hanna looked at me in amazement. Plus, oddly her English got better and better the more she drank.

Obviously they all loved her, would bend over backward to please her. She was cute. I totally realized it and it made me tingle to think she was a lover of me over and again.

More drinks and more truth, we were all baring our souls and Hanna told them I had a “nice big bratwurst” which brought howls from the guys. She told them I had a magic tongue too avoiding no details about what I was doing to her. Looking at each other just a little shocked the guys were all ears and I told them about the Hawaiian lesbians teaching me the best tricks and methods in paradise because women have vaginas “that are actually flat organs and they really don’t need a big long penis to make them happy. Rather, a talented tongue with acquired skills is much more fulfilling as long as you aren’t trying to make kids.” “What, are you scientist?” “I was a biology major in college actually.”

“HAH-H-A-A-A-AH, Hanna is always looking for the perfect possible husband here on base and maybe you’re it Bratwurst,” said the staff sergeant. “And I gotta find out more about this.” “Well Tom is going to do me after dinner by the way.” She looked at my astonished face having given up our plans for spending the night together. “He promised,” said Hanna. There was a bit more stunned surprised silence.

The alcohol causing truth had reached a pinnacle. Then finally Rudy broke the silence. “Yeah, you lucky bastard. I don’t know how or where you go to learn that stuff. The gals at The Wall don’t let you eat their pussy. For Twenty bucks they don’t let you do anything but stick your dick in with a rubber on it.” “For one thing you need a willing girl,” Hanna said. They all looked at each other a bit forlorned.

“WELL, why don’t you come over with us and see how it’s done. Tom will show you and I’m ready.”

I looked at her in total surprise. This was truth way over the top for me but I realized I was in a different place again, Europe, worlds away from where I came from, maybe more like Hawaii and my crazy friends there.

Half smashed Rudy started laughing so hard he couldn’t get his words formed but finally began telling us how he talked Hanna into giving me daily baths in the latrine “at the gym”. Again it was total truthfulness time and I looked at Hanna in surprise. “He wanted me to see how far you would go with it, the new guy. Rudy promised me trades for stuff from the supply room. I get him good German bier too. He’s such a flirt!”

She poked Rudy in the ribs and he choked so hard I thought he was going to vomit. They all started laughing themselves breathless and I had to think things over wondering if Hanna would have tried to fuck me as well. “Wow!”

This certainly added a different twist to my innocent bath giver. “I even wore my snack bar uniform top all nice and pressed to make me look official. Then next I wore short shorts too as I jacked him off in the tub. You sure were a gentleman too Tom. But you orgasm like nobody I’ve ever seen. Jesus, he just keeps ejaculating over and over. Yeah! Really. That’s really something. You guys ought to see it.”

The staff sergeant “Sarge” and the other cook were about done in with drunkenness but they slurred their way to approval of some lessons in that “cunnil-oinkus lincus” thing. I wondered what in the world they might learn in their condition. “Gawdammit,” said Sarge. “I’m sure glad they’re all out there at the border fucking around. Otherwise we would never get to watch Hanna getting her cunt licked by a Hawaiian.

“This is so co-o-o-o-o-ol!,” said Harry the other cook. “Maybe I could make my wife happy licking her cunt?” “You’ll NEVER make her happy,” laughed Sarge. “His honey Gretta works at The Wall fucking for $20 bucks. Can you imagine her coming home after a long night’s work and wanting to get laid? And you’re talking about kissing her down there after she’s been ridden by who knows how many dicks?”

There was more stunned silence aside from Sarge’s laughter. I already felt sorry for the cook. “OH FUCK! I’m just teasing you Harry. Yeah, you may learn something worthwhile. Maybe I will too. But just like Hanna says I’d have to find a girl friend who is willing.”

I leaned over and whispered to Hanna a question, “What’s The Wall?” “It’s the legal whore house downtown where the gals with health checks make a living.” I looked at her with wonder on my face. Europe was indeed different.

So I thought things over while the rest continued drinking. I was part of a different society now and the inhibitions were quite a bit less regarding sex. It seemed sex was so much more accepted as a common practice easily talked about. It was my turn to try out something creative.

“Hanna?” “Yes.” “Would you consider letting me shave you before we go over? It’s just for demonstration sake, you know? These guys could see better, you know?” “You wanna shave Hanna’s pussy,?” laughed the sarge. “Yes, and it would feel really nice too.” “For who?” “For Hanna and me both,” I said. “How about it?” “I will let you if you kiss it real nice afterwards.” “Oh, I’ll do better than that and you know it don’t you?” I smiled, gleamed at her apparent willingness.

Rudy said he would run and get his shaving stuff so Sarge could warm up the shaving cream with the hot water on the stove.

Hanna mumbled as she sat up across the table after things were moved off and although pretty drunk she managed to hike up her dress, told me to remove her panties. I did. We all looked at her crotch as she spread and we drank some more. The Sarge and Harry plus Rudy were all huddled close for a better view exchanging remarks and questions about what they were looking at.

Sarge had questions about what he was looking at and I explained about the female parts making demonstration with my fingers combing the hair aside. Hanna liked that. “I’ll be,” he said. I’ve never bothered to learn or even look that close before. You know the thing just isn’t out there like a guy’s dick is. Actually you know it’s just more complicated.” “Yeah, well... , “ chimed in Hanna. “I don’t know how you guys deal with that thing hanging out all the time, so there. Actually it’s weird looking, that dumb ol’ bratwurst. What I really hate are the one’s with the fore skin, Eeeuuuuww!”

“Hanna, I can see your asshole,” said Harry. “Those two things of yours are quite close together. You ever do anal?” Hanna ignored his question as did the rest of us. “Jesus Harry!” grumbled Sarge. “Why? Do you ever let somebody do anal in your hole? Fuckin’ donkey.”

Rudy had arrived and the shaving cream was ready so I squirted-applied it while Hanna approved of the warmth. I smooth it around liberally and she joined with her hand really getting pretty amorous. I asked her to hold still and the shaving cream as I approached with the razor.

I carefully shaved her washing and checking to make sure she was clean. The audience didn’t make a sound while I did that and Hanna hiked her dress higher and turned over on her stomach to spread her legs and asked if any place else needed it. She was clean. I used the shaving cream like a soap, wiped all around with a warm wet wash cloth Harry supplied. I dabbed a little on her anus dedicated to Harry’s inquisitiveness. “Okay, we’re good.”

“You sure have a nice smooth crotch Hanna,” said Rudy.

We all marched or rather stumbled out of the mess hall entrance after dark and sang our way across the parade grounds to the big building and Hanna left her panties behind. We had to retrieve Sarge and Harry a couple of times as they swayed and wandered away in the wrong direction. All made it eventually and dragged in through the double doors as Hanna started pulling more clothes off. “I promised - I promised, you promised - I promised, they promised ... gonna d-o-o-o-o me.” She threw off more items. “These German ladies are kind of crazy”, I thought to myself.

Meanwhile it was apparent my bed was too far away from the only light so Rudy stumbled over and started pulling it across the gym floor to make it more convenient for all of them to see during “evening cunnilingus class”. He was mumbling to himself, “Nice big teats and a smooth sweet pussy, wow,” as he labored, stumbling with the bed in his state of mind. “NICE BIG TEATS AND A S-M-O-O-T-H SWEET PUSSY,” repeating his chant.