Chapter 14

Jacki was the first to come in the room maybe 20 minutes later. She saw me there, and the laughter she was sharing with Fred stopped immediately died. She came over to me and sat down, a concerned look in her face. “Pete, what’s wrong? Is everything OK?”

I just pointed to the two rings, still sitting on the table next to the otherwise empty envelope.

“Shit. Fred, you’re doing this without us tonight. Come along, we’re going somewhere else, Pete.” She put the rings into the envelope, and putting them in my backpack led me numbly outside and to her car. Sometime later we were at the top of a hill, a lovely little park with benches looking out over the city and ocean in the distance.

“OK, tell me what happened.”

And I let it all out. I was crying as I told her about the accident, the last few calls, even the apology from Mandy which made no sense before but made perfect sense now. She apparently knew this was coming, but had either promised not to say, or could not think of a way to tell me.

“You’re not mad at her sweetie, are you?”

“Oh goodness no Jacki! Either way, Mandy would have been stuck in a hard place. How could she ever tell me her sister was calling everything off, even if she had promised not to say anything? No, it’s just everything that seems to have come so fast. Yes, she does seem to have been more distant lately. And that little fight I thought we had gotten over. Hell, she could have told me she was stripping and that would not have been all that big of a deal. But that she thought she had to hide it from me, that hurts. And telling the cops her boyfriend was driving my car, that hurts also. I wonder now how long that had been going on, and if she was ever going to tell me if not for the accident.”

I was now holding Jacki and crying on her shoulder. “We had been together for over four years, and in less than a year apart it all ends. I was going to go home next year, and we would get married. Now, fuck. Now I guess that is not gonna happen.”

“No honey, it’s not gonna happen. Tell me, do you think you can patch this up?”

I held her tight and shook my head. “No, no. More because of the lies than anything else. Hell, she could not even tell me the truth about the accident, I know she was not driving. She could not even send a letter with the rings apologizing and saying it was over and why. It’s like she is just casting me aside. No, it hurts, but that is something that does end it. Fucking whore!”

At that she pulled me back sharply. “Now Peter Culver. None of that, you hear! You hurt sugar, I get that. Was she a cunt and bitch for doing that? Oh heavens yes! But don’t go that route, just because she may have found another guy, that does not make her a whore. There are a lot of names that you could use, but not that one, got it? At least, not in front of me.”

I sighed deeply. “Yeah, you’re right. God I love her, but she has destroyed me.”

“I know, happened to me too about a year ago. Not quite that bad, but I know how it is. I started dating a guy right after I got here, thought we were really in love. Lasted about six months, then he rotated home. I said I would meet him, then two months later he wrote me a letter saying he had found somebody else. So yes, we were not together as long, but I know exactly how you feel. But here is the good thing, you get over it.”

I hugged Jacki tight, and thanked her. “I will get over it, you’re right. But it’s still gonna hurt.”

“Yes it will, and then the hurt will slowly go away. Now have you thrown away anything you have of hers?”

“Nope, this literally just happened. I opened the letter maybe 15 minutes before you got there.”

“OK. Don’t. Go back to your room. Pack it all away. Every card, every letter, every photo. Put them all in a box and hide it away. Wait a week or so, then mail it home. Then maybe later you will be able to look at them fondly, without this anger and hurt you have now. I bet you want to rage and throw them all away, I know I did. But later you will see that you want to keep at least some of the memories.”

I nodded, that did make a lot of sense. “OK, I will do that, thank you.”

“I have never asked, do you have a picture of her?”

I smiled, and pulled out my wallet. I handed her a copy of our prom photo, with me standing behind Linda with my arms around her waist. And almost an exact copy, but me in my dress blues from the wedding. “She’s a stone cold fox, Pete. I’m sorry. But she does not deserve you. Thank you, now go put these away. Send them home, and later on remember them fondly.”

Jacki bought me dinner, and gave me a big hug after I changed and got back to the van. I kissed her cheek, and thanked her for being such a good friend. When I got back to the room I did exactly as she said. I emptied out the box of printer paper and put in it everything associated with Linda. Jones noticed me and asked if everything was OK.

I just pulled out the envelope and showed him the rings, then put them back in the envelope and dropped it in the box. “Damn, sorry dude. I know we ain’t close, but if you ever wanna talk about it I’m here for you.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it. I’ll be fine, and I got friends like you to help me through it.”

The next day after work I told Frannie the news, and she was also crushed. She also had some words for Linda that were even harsher than the ones I had said. We then walked to the barracks and she apologized to Frank she was breaking their date. I told him why, and he wished me well and said he understood. We then walked to the E-club where I got completely plastered.

I have absolutely no idea how I got back to my room that night. My last memory was of crying at a table as Frannie and a few others tried to console me. Then waking up in my room alone on Jones’ bed, the garbage can next to it half full of vomit and alone. I opened the window to let out the smell, and after pouring the vomit in a toilet I threw out the bag and took a long hot shower.

Feeling better I finally went to the chow hall and had lunch, most of my hangover gone. Then I went to the shop and tried to call Linda. Mandy answered the phone. What followed was a strange conversation.

“Oh, hi! How are you doing?”

“Miserable. Let me guess, Linda is nearby.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And she will not take a call from me.”

“Uh-uh.”

I sighed. “Mandy, would you talk to me another time, when she is not around?”

“Yes, that sounds like a great idea! How about tomorrow evening? My car will be out of the shop by then, I can pick you up and we can go do something.”

I actually smiled. “OK, tomorrow at this time then. And I get why you are acting so chipper, it’s for your audience, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Thank you baby, so you know I’m not mad at you. I even understand now what you tried to tell me last time I called. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. And yes, I still love you, Mandy.”

She whispered a soft “I love you, too”, and hung up.

Don’t ask me why, for some reason I walked over to the bus, and just got on. I was in a funk for the entire drive, until I realized we were at Camp Schwab. The Armpit of Okinawa, somehow it fit. I got out and walked to the beach, either wandering in a funk or playing listlessly with the hermit crabs that are all over the beach. Finally I sat in some bleachers overlooking the parade grounds.

I was watching out over the ocean, realizing that Linda, Mandy, Holly, almost everybody I loved was on the other side of it. The grass all around was lush, and the place was full of the smell of jet fuel from the helicopters they refueled there. The smell almost acid in my nose, as was my heart. I was there for well over an hour, and finally it was dark and I walked back to the bus stop.

I was feeling a bit better the next day, at least I was not hungover as I only had four beers when I stopped at the club. I apologized to Jones, and he said it was alright. He had slept in the day room, not wanting the smell of vomit as he tried to sleep. He thanked me for cleaning up the place, and after lunch I went back to the shop.

Mandy answered on the third ring, and when she softly said my name I knew Linda was not there. “You knew this was coming, right?”

“Yeah, she took off the rings the day after the accident. I asked her where they were, she was never without them. She told me she was ending it, everybody had been telling her that you were not waiting for her, so why was she waiting for you. I told her she was wrong, that you would wait forever for her Pete. But she would not listen, saying she had already mailed them back. Fuck, now I’m crying again.”

“Well, Holly and my dad told me a lot more. Who is Carlos?”

“Fuck. Yes, she had probably been dating him for maybe three months. She said it was just as friends, and I believed it at first. Then maybe a month or so later she came back from work one night. And, fuck Pete. Her breath when we talked smelled of cum! And I think there was even some on her blouse. And at least twice when she came back and I passed her going to take a shower, she smelled of sex.”

She was now obviously crying, as was I. “It’s OK Mandy, it’s not your fault. You were caught in a bad place, how could you ever tell me that? And for all you knew, it might have even been Kimmie.”

“Oh no, she broke up with Kimmie ages ago. They had a big fight a while back, and Kimmie stopped talking to her even before she left for college. Neither does Julie. Linda just talks and hangs out with Melissa, and her new friends.”

“OK, got it. You don’t like Melissa?”

“No, she’s a fucking skank. I know she’s a stripper, she is the one that got Linda into it. And I think she does movies also. Fuck, I did not mean to tell you that Pete!”

“Mandy, I already know about the stripping. Holly told me, she found out from Keith. He saw Linda working in a topless club a while back. That was another shock I had in the last several days. Do you know what happened exactly?”

She sighed. “I came home one time maybe five months ago, and she and Melissa were talking. She was telling Linda that you were not waiting for her, and she should have some fun also. I actually got mad, and told her off! I insisted you would wait for her forever, and that Melissa bitch actually called me a ‘child’. Saying I was wrong, and was so young I did not know better.”

“Thank you, and you are not a child. You are right, I would have waited forever. It seems like you are the most mature of the two of you. So you finally got your car?”

“Oh yes! I picked it up two weeks ago, it’s so rad Pete! I already sent you a picture of me in it, you should get that in a day or so. And Matt loves it! I won’t let him drive it, but he loves cruising with me in it.”

“So Matt, that’s the new guy, eh? Are you happy with him?”

“Oh yes, he is great. When I told him last night I could not make our date so we could talk, he understood. He told me to talk to you, we could go out another time.”

We talked for a bit more, and we then said goodbye. “Mandy, don’t worry about Linda. I promise, when I come home I will see you, and hopefully have another date even if nothing like the last one. I hope to always have you in my life, even if I never see your sister again. And tell your mom the same thing.”

“Oh thank you Pete, and I will. I was worried a bit actually, that I would not see you again after Linda broke up with you.”

“Don’t, don’t ever. I told you before, I love you for you. Not just because you are Linda’s sister. Say hi to Peggy and everybody for me, and thank Matt for me. I appreciate his giving you up for the night. Do I want to know how you knew your sister would not be home?”

“Well, it should be obvious. She will be out dancing until around midnight. Then probably fucking Carlos until she comes home at around 2 in the morning.”

“Two! I never brought her that late other than maybe once.”

“The first time she did, mom about had a cow. But Linda threw in her face she was 18 and could set her own curfew. Last week she stayed out all night, that is when I knew for sure it was over between you two, a day or so before I noticed the rings.”

“Well, she made her bed. I just hope she is happy with it.”

“She thinks she is now, Pete. But I promise it will not last.” And at that we were disconnected. I put the phone in the cradle and just sat there. So this had been going on longer than I had thought, about the times her letters and calls got more distant. And knowing Linda, it had probably moved fast.

Well, fuck it. At least now I knew I was single, and could start looking again when I was ready. And there was nothing stopping me from going to a strip club now and actually appreciating the view as a guy, and not as a background distraction on occasion.

As the weeks went, I slowly got better and better. Frannie and Frank were now a real couple, and she told me one of the bummers was finding places to go. We were having a drink at the club one night and she complained that they could only really “get together” two times a month or so, one time he would pay for the hotel room and she would the next time.

“So I know, where do you both go? Or is that a secret?”

“Oh, that place we passed after we first got here? The one near BC Street. It’s not that great, but it’s close and we can afford it once a month or so each. How about you, found anybody yet?”

I finished my beer and raised my finger for another. “Naw, not really looking yet. But I think I’m at the point now where if I ran across somebody I would take a chance.”

“What about Cindy? She has mentioned that she thought you were really cute.”

“Naw, I don’t think so. She’s hot, but something about her just does not get me other than her body. And you know Linda and Holly, both really smart. Cindy is hot, but she seems to be lacking just a little bit upstairs, like part of her brains ended up in her boobs.”

“Yeah, she does have a smoking body. D cups, in case you were curious.”

I laughed, and said I needed more upstairs in a gal than what she filled her bra with, and Frannie agreed. “I get that. Frank is not huge, but what he has he uses well. And I know he cares about me, which matters far more.”

We then shared a toast to good lovers and she then prompted me with a few other gals we both knew and were single. Collins was a no. She was cute, but in a tomboy kind of way. “But Frannie, to be honest I thought she liked other girls more than guys. I mean, she almost wears a high and tight, and I have never seen her check out a guy ever. But I could almost swear I have seen her checking out you and Cindy a few times.”

“Oh, Collins goes both ways. And yeah, most of us know it. She even hit on me once, in a kind of shy and innocent way. I told her I did not really go that way, but I would be her friend. I know she is not looking for a boyfriend, but that she does hook up occasionally with a guy.”

“Well, if I get the mood I will think about it. But she is not really my type.”

“OK, how about Jean? Yeah, I know she looks a bit like a potato, but she is really smart and funny. And you already see her every Thursday night.”

“Oh, Jean left the group right after you did. We finished a campaign and she rotates back in a month so she thought that was a good point to leave. Yeah, I might date her, but only as a friend. Plus she leaves in a few weeks.”

That got me a soft kiss on the cheek, and we shared a brief hug. “Well, is there anybody else you are interested in?”

“Well, kinda. I can think of two actually, and both are already good friends of mine. But one is taken, the other is several years older than me as well as higher rank. So I doubt she would see me the same way.”