Chapter 1

“Are you okay, Jackie? You look a mess.”

There was a brief pause, as the young woman tried to think of a suitably cutting comeback. After a few seconds, it became clear that her brain was completely incapable of wit, and the young woman replied with a simple sarcastic “Thanks.”

Jackie knew she looked a mess. Her face was puffy, her hair was full of knots, and the bags under her eyes were large enough to carry groceries in.

It hadn’t always been like this. Just a few weeks ago, Jackie had been in good shape. Trim and attractive, with flawless skin (none of the pimples that she’d started to find on her forehead and around her nose) and enough time in the morning to accentuate her features with a dab of makeup.

The last time she’d tried wearing so much as eyeliner, she’d totally forgotten to take it off before collapsing into bed, and woken up to extreme panda eyes. Panda eyes that she hadn’t had time to deal with before rushing off to class...

Jackie didn’t just look a mess; she was a mess. She’d thought she would be able to juggle work and study, but as soon as the semester had started up again, it had hit her like a train. Classes at eight or nine in the morning, and then work until well after midnight.

By the time she caught the bus home, she was so wiped that all she could think about was sleep.

“I’m serious,” her workmate Rob said, a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, trying to wave him off, but the motion was enough to make her head spin. What was wrong with her? She’d worked like this last semester without a problem; perhaps it was the extra unit of math she was doing, but for some reason she was really struggling this year.

“Have you been sleeping?”

“Not really,” she mumbled. That was the other problem - some nights she’d collapse into bed and drift off straight away, but on other nights the stress was keeping her up for a few hours.

Even when she did sleep, it wasn’t the deep sleep that her body obviously needed.

There was a pause as Rob eyed her off. Jackie knew that he’d always had a crush on her - one time she’d heard him describing her to a friend on the phone. “Like a young Mila Kunis,” he’d said, and the comparison wasn’t inaccurate. Jackie had the same short build, the same long brown hair, and while her face didn’t resemble the film star’s, they both had a certain cuteness to them.

Jackie had a button nose and sparkling blue eyes. Her Mediterranian heritage had given her olive skin and thick lips. Lately she’d been too run down, but normally she jogged to work, and so she was in good shape.

She knew she was attractive, and had used it to her advantage. In the bar at night, she’d flirt for tips; at school, she’d wear skirts and shirts for her male teachers that maybe showed a little more skin than they should.

And when she’d learned that Rob was in charge of the roster, he’d been the target of her charms. She’d really wanted to make sure that she got as many hours as possible at the bar without having to miss school.

The flip side, of course, was that Rob had made sure to always schedule himself onto her shifts. Once the roster had been locked in, right before school started, she’d made it very clear that nothing was going to happen between them. He’d seemed hurt, but neither of them had never brought it up again, and Jackie had been delighted that their relationship had stayed friendly.

“Look,” Rob eventually said, breaking the silence. “I probably shouldn’t be doing this, but I have some spare sleeping pills. They’re great - they totally knock you out, but they only last a few hours. You’ll wake up as soon as your alarm rings a totally new person.”

“Oh my god, for real?”

“For real,” Rob said. “Hang on, they’re in the office. I’ll grab them for you now.”

“Oh my god Rob, you’re a life-saver.”

“Not a problem,” the young manager replied with a grin. Jackie attempted a smile in return, but before she could get the muscles working, Rob had headed upstairs.

“Hey!” a customer called out, and Jackie realized that she’d been pouring a beer for that entire conversation, and it was starting to splash onto her shoes.

“Whoops!” she said, and after serving the beer, dropped down to clean up the mess.

God, she thought wearily. I could fall asleep right here...

When Jackie got home that night, her head was buzzing. Of course. All day when she was on her feet, she was exhausted; the moment she was actually able to just lay down and sleep, her mind wouldn’t turn off.

Going into the bathroom to brush her teeth, she flinched at the sight of herself in the mirror.

“God,” she muttered. “No wonder Rob said something...”

Her face was blotchy, her eyes were blood-shot, and it looked like there was something black in her teeth. Poking at it with her tongue, it was clear that it was licorice ... the licorice that she’d had at 10am.

“Ugh.”

She’d hoped that brushing and flossing would calm her mind down, but no luck - it didn’t take long for Jackie to decide to open up her bag and found the sheet of tablets that Rob had brought down for her.

“Here goes nothing,” she said, throwing two in her mouth and swallowing them down. To her surprise, they took effect almost immediately, and the moment she managed to stagger into bed, she’d fallen into a deep, deep sleep.

The next morning, Jackie jumped out of bed with a spring in her step. For the first time since the semester had started, she felt good.

No; she felt great.