Chapter 28: Isekai Life & Dubious Rescue

Way back in my previous life, I remember having an intense argument with a DM once over the Stinking Cloud spell. Specifically, it’s description in AD&D. The way that the spell is described is a little vague (is the gas heavier or lighter than air? Does it wrap around fortifications? Apparently that was for the DM to decide), but there is nothing in the actual description that specifies that a victim must breathe in the vapours for the nausea to have an effect, only that being within the cloud requires you to take a save vs poison. That seemed to imply (or at least I argued at the time) that the vapour was somehow absorbed through the skin or eyes.

Unfortunately, as I was struggling to think of way out of this situation for us, I found myself wanting to revise my stance on the subject, but unfortunately Corgiel was nowhere in sight for me to make my argument, so I had to assume the strictest possible definition of the rules here. Hoepfully this would benefit me later if I ever had to use Stinking Cloud on something that couldn’t breathe.

Well, if we all lived that long. So far this dungeon had been one narrowly averted crisis after another.

“Okay, so, new plan,” I told Yua, “I will cast a spell that should drive away the goblins, and when it wears off we run upstairs, and try to lose them so we can reconnect with Haseth and Raszil. Stairs are to the right of the archway, okay?”

“Understood,” she said with a determined face.

“Okay, Voss,” I said, switching back to common, and relayed the same orders. Jeez, that was going to tiresome fast.

“Yeah, got it,” he said, “I think I can handle that, your majesty,”

I gave him an odd look for a moment before I realized- the only people around right now were in the know on my true identity. It had been so long, that his deference felt weird.

“Right,” I said, drawing a few thick steams of skunk cabbage out of my component pouch, “Let’s do this.”

I cast Stinking Cloud so that it’s extreme edge was just inside the archway. The cloud was a cube (to add to the confusion of how it doesn’t behave like a normal gas, but I digress) and I placed it so that it covered the top of the stairway going down, the bottom of the stairs going up, and a solid chunk of the floor we were currently on. I immediately heard the sounds of dozens of high-pitched gobbo voices coughing and retching. The beauty of Stinking Cloud is that it served as a great denial tactic- even if you passed your saving throw, you had to leave the cloud within one minute or roll your save again. It only lasted for three rounds at my current experience level, but the effects could potentially last for a few rounds longer if we got lucky.

Mostly though, I wanted the goblins to avoid the landing and thus, take longer catching up to us.

The cloud, once conjured, was a thick, billowing cloud of opaque yellow smoke, that reeked even for us standing outside it’s area of effect. It’s easy to forget that spells have an effect outside their AoE ... my nose was just filled with this putrid stink that was somehow akin to both a rotten dumpster and the sulphur smell of a stink bomb. Not enough to make me nauseous but only just. I still gagged from time to time as we waited for the cloud to recede, as did my companions.

Not to imply that I just stood around. Instead, I ransacked the bodies of the bugbears. Chipped battle axes, a bronze broadsword, the one guy’s greatclub ... I gathered up as much of their weapons as I could carry.

Voss frowned at me. “Starting a collection or something, your highness?”

“The captured farmers and elves are on the level just above us,” I said simply, “No matter what happens, armed them cannot be a bad idea.”

That answer seemed to satisfy. “So, how do we get them out?” he asked.

I puffed in thought. “Maybe you and Yua can try lifting the portcullis? Failing that, we have to find the controls for the counterweight.”

“Well, we could try,” he said with a shrug, “But yeah, giving our only allies in this situation weapons is probably a good idea.”

So, we waited. Thankfully for us, my level was still lower enough that we didn’t need more than a handful of minutes, and we were off.

What I wanted was for us to go into the tower through the archway, and immediately head for the the stairs up. What I got was that Voss and Yua both took the time to execute some goblins that had been caught in the cloud, who were retching and coughing on the ground. The entire inside of the tower, now we didn’t have the glare of the afternoon sun keeping us from getting an idea of what was going on, was in pandemonium- goblins, warrior or not, seemed in a panic, scattering away from us.

Here I was, worried that these couple hundred goblins would be organized and selfless enough to swarm us and fling us off the tower, but right now the goblins were busy putting the “chaotic” in chaotic evil. Some of the “warriors” were busy looting the barracks, but most of them were fleeing downstairs to safety, away from those terrifying adventurers.

That made me worry a little bit- if all the goblins fled into the surrounding lands, they could cause ongoing problems for the people living here. But who knew? If the warriors start throwing their weight around, there could be a lot of warfare between splintered off goblin tribes and that sort of thing. But for that to happen, it made it all the more important that we handle the leaders that currently exist.

We moved upstairs, Voss leading the way, Yua coming up behind me. When we reached the next level landing, Nievan was clinging to the bars of the slave pen, waiting for my return. The old man was nowhere in sight, but there were a few of the other kidnap victims standing around, trying to get some idea of what was going on.

“You’re back!” The elf exclaimed, unable to hide the anticipation in his voice, “What’s going on? Where’s Sir Haseth?”

“Upstairs somewhere,” I replied, “Uh, it’s a long story, but I think we’ve killed most of the goblins’ real forces at this point, we’re going to try getting you out.”

At that point I was jostled aside by Yua. Normally, she was dutiful and unobtrusive, trying to stay on guard and out of the way at the same time. Now, she looked furious. Nievan stepped back, startled by her sudden fury.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she grasped the iron portcullis and tried to lift. The portcullis refused to budge, though her attempted caused a shower of rust flakes.

“Alright, that’s not working,” I said, looking to Nievan, “How many strong men do you think you ca-”

I was cut off by a primal shout of rage coming from Yua. Having failed to lift the portcullis, she heaved on it, pulling it ... outwards. The sturdy dwarven construction of the bars tried to resist her, but slowly began bending her way, before first one, then the other broke free from the framework of the gate with the shrieking snap of rusting metal.

She stepped back, sweat glittering on her brow, making the edges of her scales stand out. She tossed the rusty metal bars aside, panting with her exertion. Voss, the prisoners and I just goggled at her. Exactly how strong was she, really?

But now, there was a gap in the portcullis just wide enough for a broad-chested man to sidestep through, most of the prisoners should have no trouble getting out.

“Here,” I said, passing my bundle of weapons through the gap in the bars, “Make sure that as many people as possible get armed before stepping out. I don’t know how we’re getting you all out of here just yet, but you probably shouldn’t stay there.”

Nievan grabbed the bundle and laid it out on the ground, taking the bronze sword for himself. “Me and mine can’t leave yet, not until we’ve secured the princess,” he replied to me in Elven, “But yes, you should get the humans to safety.”