Chapter 8: Leaving Europe Behind

[Life flows on]

This was a turning point. I was on the precipice about to leave Europe for good. It reminded me of having to leave Hawaii, not wanting to. For a long time, new to Germany, I dreamed of going home to America. Now, not so much. I had come to respect the European life style. And now I was about to experience, re experience the American lifestyle and on the surface it was by comparison rude, a generalization of course.

We went back to Jay and Lenny’s apartment to give them the keys to Herman, my wedding present to them. The car Ron sold me was so solid. It had done everything I needed to have my European experience. And it hadn’t failed me.

Jay had about six months left on his tour as a draftee before they could go back to America. Juliana and I took them out to eat and we made kind of a ceremony out of it, a toast to our friendship. Jay and Lenny would take Juliana to Munich with them the next day, their usual weekend trip and I would catch a train to Frankfurt, the airport, to fly home to the west coast.

This was it. Another big jump and change in my life.

I had no idea what I was going to do when I went back. There was the G.I. bill to give me money for college if I wanted to finish. I had aspirations to be self employed, a brother in law and long time close friend who wanted to start a repair shop. I just didn’t know. Life change was upheaval. I was just 23 years old and in the past five years I had packed more living in that space than I would ever again, by far.

Juliana and I stayed, slept on the floor at Jay and Lenny’s. I held her close as we slept. She had given me an address I asked for. I don’t know if she believed me but I said I wanted to keep in contact with her and perhaps if things went right a trip to get together could be in our future. Sao Paulo Brazil was a world away from where we where then and from where I was going. She said the same, she wanted to keep in contact with me, a trip to the U.S. would be a dream come true. I said if she came to the U.S. that was my dream come true.

I thought about Kristina, Ana, Maria and all the girls from the school. I got so very close to them, to say the least. Guilt would always be my affliction regarding them because my life felt unfinished somehow and I wondered if they felt the same. And Juliana was different, yet.

Next morning as they prepared to depart for Munich, a last kiss goodbye, it was another of those terribly tough moments and I had to tear myself away. I had more traveling to do and the trip ahead was not a happy one.

They drove away and I watched until they disappeared. I felt as alone as I ever had. As much of a loner as I’d learned to be as a kid this was far more difficult.

From there the trip to Frankfurt brings me no memories now. It was a process. I did not want the military to fly me back to the states. I was sick of that drill, sitting, waiting. I went to the airport and bought a ticket to the west coast. I would land in New York and catch a red eye flight west, land in Chicago and take off again, same plane.