Chapter 4

I lay under the covers pondering the rapid changes in my life over the past few days. I knew I loved Sally, and she loved me. Mila was a breath of fresh air. But was this a one night stand or the start of an escalating relationship with her? Then looming over everything was Denver, and behind it, all was Linda, was I betraying her memory or was it time I moved on?

It was pointless; I couldn’t get back to sleep, and dawn was breaking so I eased myself out of bed. I paused for a moment, quietly watching as Mila stirred. She just pulled my pillow to herself, and then sighed softly into it, as she curled up around it, never really waking up.

I showered, dressed, and headed downstairs. I brewed a pot of coffee and took it and a packet of biscuits out to the patio. I sat on a wooden bench, sipping the coffee and listened to the birds in the garden. The sun was peeking over the trees at the bottom of the garden, bathing the corner of the patio. I sat in the golden glow of morning sunlight.

I needed to make some decisions.

Did I really want to go to Denver? Yes, but I couldn’t have timed it any worse as it was turning out. It was only supposed to be for two years, but I’d be leaving Sally behind, and having just discovered the depth of our love, I really didn’t want to leave her.

Then there was Clive. Shit was I actually thinking of breaking up their marriage. I sank back in my chair, wondering what he would feel or do. Lastly, there was Mila and the potential for that relationship to grow into something significant, perhaps for all of us.

I poured myself another cup of coffee and smiled as the Robin, who lived in the garden, came to say hello. He was a regular visitor and perched on the back of the bench beside me. This particular Robin was the veteran of three years and we’d come to an understanding. He let me share his garden and I shared my biscuits, I paid him his due and he pecked at a few crumbs before offered me a chirp in acknowledgment of his place in our relationship.

I thought more about Mila. She’s a great girl in so many ways, and I know that Sally likes and trusts her. But do I love her, or is it just lust? No, I thought, it’s not just lust; that was not fair to the girl. She’s beautiful and has an excellent character, shit who am I trying to kid, she’s spectacular in bed, and it would take very little to push me over the fine line between lust and love.

I don’t know how long I sat there in contemplation, but the sun was definitely higher in the blue sky when I was startled by the sound of a chair scraping beside me. Jane sat down beside me and filled a mug from the coffee pot. She didn’t look at me but just sat beside me, sipping her coffee.

Finally, she said, “Thank you for what you said last night. We talked for a long time after you went back to bed.”

She turned to face me with an intense smile on her face, “I had sex with John for the first time!”

Then she shook her head and said, “No, I didn’t. We made love, and Pauline held me in her arms while we did it, and the feelings were so incredible, but I was still so scared. I was trembling the whole time, but John was so patient and gentle with me. I know he cares about me.”

She was crying, and I held my hand out to her and she came and sat down on the bench beside me, her head resting on my shoulder. I gently stroked her hair and she used my tee-shirt to dry her eyes.

“Please can you call your friend, I know I need help, and I don’t want to hurt either of them anymore. I can’t live this way anymore.”

I picked up my mobile from the table and found Lucy’s number. She picked up on the fifth tone.

“Michael, you know I love you but it’s nine on a Sunday morning and Pete was working his kisses down my body, and he’d only reached my belly button.”

I laughed, “Liar, liar, pants on fire. At nine on a Sunday morning, Pete will be standing on the third tee. So who’s the lover in your bed as if I didn’t know?”

“Damn, you know me too well, Samantha say hi to your uncle, Michael.”

“Hi, Uncle Mike,” came the seven-year old’s voice.

“Hi Sam,” I replied

.

Lucy asked, “So what can I do for you, or have you finally agreed to become my lover.”

I heard an indignant ‘Mummy’ from the background as I laughed. “No, as much as that’s a very attractive offer.” I became serious and said, “It’s a bit more urgent than that. I need you to see a friend of mine. She badly needs your professional help.”

Lucy’s voice went hard. “Just how serious, and how urgent is it?”

I put my hand over the phone and asked Jane, “How much can I say?”

She said, “I’ve got no secrets anymore.”

I spoke back into the phone, “Urgent and severe; it’s affecting several friends of mine. She was raped and abused, and it’s destroying her current relationship. She’s never had any counseling about it, and even I can see that it’s eating her alive.”

“Jesus, it must be serious if you can see it. Is she there, can I talk to her?”

“Yes, to both questions and Lucy, any bills come to me, okay.”

I offered the mobile to Jane, and she reluctantly took it. She stood up and went to move away, but I pointed at the other chair and stood myself.

I said, “I’ll be in the kitchen getting some breakfast together. Talk for as long as you need to. When you’re done, come Come and get something to eat when you are ready.”

I walked off to the kitchen and put a fresh pot of coffee on and raided the fridge for the food I’d need. I’d guessed that there would have been a fair chance I would have some guests this morning, so I’d got the caterers to stock up my fridge with bacon, eggs, and all the other essentials for the great British fry up.

I think the aroma of frying bacon must have crept upstairs and teased the rest of my guests awake, as John and Pauline appeared.

Pauline looked around and said, “Have you seen Jane, we woke up, and she’d gone.”

I nodded and pointed outside, but I put my hand on her shoulder when she went to leave. “Wait,” I said, “she’s talking to Lucy – the therapist I spoke about, and she’ll come in when she’s ready.”

Pauline looked worried but she busied herself helping me while John sat at the kitchen table. When Mila had appeared, a few minutes later, she looked rejuvenated and sexy. She wore one of my t-shirts again, and she gave me a toe-curling kiss before joining John at the table.

A few minutes later, a tear-streaked Jane walked in from the garden and came straight over to me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. She sobbed in my arms and it took a while for her to calm down enough to realize that Pauline and John were standing beside her too.

She broke away from me with a kiss and looked at them. “Michael called his friend, Lucy, and I’ve been talking to her. I’m going to see her tomorrow evening, can you both come with me, please?”

John held his arms out to her and said, “Of course we can, does she want to talk to us?”

She moved into his arms, and Pauline held the pair of them. “Just to say hi this first time I think, so she knows who I’m talking about. But later she will probably want to speak to us together. She sounds so sweet.”

I carried plates of food over to the table, and we all settled down for a late breakfast. Jane sat between John and Pauline and every now and again she would reach out and touch first one then the other and smile to herself. I could see she was trying to build her self-confidence about touching and being touched by John. We talked about nothing and everything and about ten o’clock John made their excuses and the trio left in a flurry of hugs and kisses.

Mila helped me clear up the kitchen, and we took our coffee out to the patio. I sat down and she plunked herself down on my lap. She’d changed out of my old T-shirt into a skirt and top Sally must have left behind after a stay. I quickly discovered she was going commando.

As my fingers brushed her clitoral piercing, she grinned and said, “It’s your fault, my panties were still soaking from last night. I had to wash them and leave them drying in your shower. If I forget, please keep them as a souvenir of the greatest night in my life.” She kissed me and settled down in my arms, raising her face to bask in the sunlight.

We stayed like that until we heard a car pull up in the drive. We walked around the front of the house to see a taxi pulling away and Clive and Sally standing there. I’d forgotten that they had taken a taxi home last night, so they needed to collect their cars, hers and the BMW I’d given, well sold to them last night. Clive put his golf clubs in the boot of the BMW and we said hello and goodbye. Sally told him she’d see him at home this evening and with a smile a mile wide and a throaty roar, he disappeared down the drive. As soon as he’d gone, she was in my arms, hugging and kissing me.

Then she turned to Mila and hugged her. “Was he as good as I told you he was?” She asked.

“Even better.”

“Oh, I’m jealous.”

I asked suspiciously, “Is there something the pair of you would like to tell me?”

Sally smiled and taking my hand, led me back to the kitchen, stifling any questions I tried to ask. They sat me down in a chair at the kitchen table with a view down the garden.

“You stay here, Mila, and I need to have a little talk first, and then we will explain everything.”

They went out to the garden, and I watched as they sat down on the stone bench by the pond. Their conversation was quite animated with lots of arm movements, but they seemed very friendly and gave each other lots of smiles. This was one of those times I’d love to be able to read lips.

They stood up and hugged and kissed, then they returned to me. Sally kissed me then sat down on the chair beside mine. Mila took the one on the other side. By this time, I was beginning to get worried, and I was aware that they could see my apprehension mirrored on my face.

Sally started, “First things first,” she pointed at Mila, “I know her a lot better that you think, we’ve even been lovers on a few occasions. We’re not lesbians; I believe that we are just bi-curious.”