Chapter 5

Finally I was at home, and it felt strange. For the last 5 years I had mostly been a visitor here, and now it was my home again. But my first day back, and I knew what I wanted to do tomorrow.

After I woke up and showered, I put on one of my dresses and walked to the next block. I turned the corner to the right, and let my cane tap farther to the right so I could count the number of driveways. Finally I found the 4th one, and then tapped until I was at the sidewalk to the front door. With a bit of nerves, I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.

I heard the door open, and a woman asked “Hello, can I help you?”

I tried to put on a smile, and said “Hello Mrs. Temp, I am not sure if you remember but I am Dianne Wong. Is Kim here?” She gasped, and said of course she remembered me, but it had been so long. She asked me to come in, and apparently she had experience with the blind in the past because she gently took my elbow and guided me to a chair. “Please sit here, I will let her know you are here.”

I heard her leave, then soft voices in the back of the house. Then footsteps returning, and very softly a voice say “Di, is that really you?”

“Of course it is! I never really saw you after I moved to the School for the Blind, but I am back now. How have you been Kim?”

She came up and gave me a little hug, then sat to my right. “Well, it has been a few rough years. I got my GED last year, and am working at that electronics store in the mall as a cashier. But I have been there almost a year now, and I am saving to get my own place.”

I said that was great, and after about 15 minutes I heard a child run into the room. “Mommy, who is this?” I could tell it was a little boy.

“Hello, I am a friend of your mommy, my name is Di. Who are you?”

“I’m Jeffie! Mommy, when are we eating?”

I heard a soft sniffle, and Kim said “Go ask Grandma, I’ll be in later.” And once his feet faded to the back of the house, she softly said “You know?”

I nodded. “Kim, I have known for a few years now. Jean told me, and I made sure she told you whenever I came home. But you never came. But I wanted to at least visit with you, even if you never want to see me again.”

“Di, I can’t see you. I was cruel, and when Jean called me on that I was ashamed. And yet you are here, and were kind to my son, saying I was your friend. I do not deserve you.”

“Oh bullshit Kim! And if Jean told me correctly, she did not say you were being cruel, she said you were a twat. But Kim, we were friends since we were 6. And if it anything that real friends do, it is forgive. Do you still think I am ugly and freaky?”

And she started to cry! I moved over and found her knee, then sat next to her. I then wrapped my arms around her and held her as she cried. “And she was right, I was a twat. And I got punished for it.”

“Oh hush now, you know that is not true! If you are talking about Jeffie, do you really think he is a punishment? If you ask me, he is a blessing! You were blessed far to young, but he is a blessing. And if you ever say he is anything else, I WILL call you a twat!”

She laughed at that, and I hugged her tighter. Then I was startled as I heard her mother from the other side of the room say “Kim, she’s right, he is a blessing. A blessing far before you were ready, but a blessing none the less. Di, may I kiss your cheek for your saying that to my daughter about my grandson?”

“Of course Mrs. Temp. You never asked if you could kiss me before you know.”

“Yes, but then you could see me coming, and now you can not.” I felt her lips on my cheek, and I hugged her as I had a decade earlier.

I spent the morning there, and after lunch they put Jeffie down for a nap and Kim and I talked outside. She told me about getting pregnant, and having to drop out of school. Her boyfriend abandoned her, but when the state filed for paternity his parents stepped up and paid, so long as they could visit their grandson.

“This is the funny thing Di, he is named after his dad’s father. He is a good man, who has largely disowned his son for his behavior. So when he was born I named him Jeffrey. But he still has problems with the R sound, so it sounds like ‘Jeffie’. And so many times I wanted to go see you, but I was ashamed after Jean lashed out at us that time. And you know, she is your greatest defender. She has shunned all of us ever since! I got a card when Jeff was born, and get a small present every year on his birthday. But she has never visited me, not once.”

“And what about the others? Kelly, Linda, Judy?”

“I don’t talk to them either. They all turned on me when I got knocked up, and Judy moved 2 years ago. They really are mean twats.”...

“Kim, language!” her mom said.

“Mom, it’s true. At least Di here is wanting to see me, and Jean sends Jeffie presents even if she will not see me. She at least cares, the others stopped being my friends long ago.”

“Well, Jean is coming to see me tonight when she gets out of school. I will talk to her, and let her know we have made up. I promise that she will get ahold of you.”

“Di, I overheard you two talking earlier. And I am ashamed at what my daughter said. Could I, could I see?”

I smiled, and removed my sunglasses. I heard silence for almost a minute, then put them back on. “The last time she visited, it was much worse than it is now I am told. The swelling was still bad, and the scars were still red and I think one or two still seeping. And my eyes looked worse also I am told. But we were all young, and she probably could not handle it.”

“That is no excuse Di, it was still wrong of me. I should have been a real friend, like Jean. Thank you for forgiving me.”

“Kim, if I have learned anything in my life, it’s to live one day at a time. Love your friends and family, and be the best person you can be. Some or all of it can be taken tomorrow.”

“Di, I am going to tell my husband that when he gets home. I bet he can make a powerful sermon off of that.”

“Feel free Mrs. Temp. If Reverend Temp wants I can even be there as he delivers it. My life certainly has not been all flowers and sunshine. Hell, I can not even see flowers, and can only feel sunshine and not see it. But I am alive, and appreciate every day.”

Shortly after I made my departure. Kim offered to walk me home, and I said it was not needed. “Even after all these years I remembered how to get here. And I can get home the same way.” We exchanged hugs, and I was on my way home.

That night, mom and I had another argument. She was still pushing for me to go to State University, and I insisted I wanted to go to Creekside Community College. She insisted, saying it was the best education available, and much more prestigious than a Community College degree.

“Mom, I have been going to a specialized school for over 5 years now. I need to learn how to operate in a lower stress environment before I go to a real university. In just over 2 years at Creekside I can get my AA degree, and cover all of my Required Education courses. At that point I can transfer to State, and get my BA or BS in 2 years. I have already thought this through, and this is what I am going to do.”

And once again, my dad stepped up and said I had made my decision, and that was that. And in over 18 years, this was only the second time I have heard my dad openly defy my mother and tell her the discussion was over. And she softly said “Yes dear.”

Later on I went to my dad’s study, and knocked on the door. “Daddy, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course baby, come on in. The chair is 2 feet in front of you, to your left.”

I found it and sat down. Then I took a deep breath. “Daddy, that is only the second time I have heard you do that. The first time was when I wanted to go to school. What just happened?”

He took a deep breath, and sighed. “When we got married, we each took roles. I was to handle income and things to do with that. Your mom was to handle the family matters. And for the most part that is how it has always been. I actually wanted you and your brother to go to private schools, your mom said no, and her word was final because she handles family matters.”

He sighed. “I have had to step in only a few times. The first was when you wanted to go to the school for the blind. Your mom was against it, you wanted it strongly. I realized you were right. And even though it broke my heart for you to leave us, I stood up to your mom and made the final call. You just heard the third time. I agree, you are making a good decision, to ease back into normal life.

“And you get the best of both worlds. In 5 years, nobody is going to care what your AA is in, or where you got it at. All they will care about is your Bachelor’s degree. I knew your mom was wrong, and I ended the discussion. That was the second time in the last year or so I have had to do that.”

“Daddy, what was the other?”

“Oh, when John said he was moving in with Suzy. He said he was almost 19, and in college. He loved her, and that was that. Your mom tried to forbid it, and said we would cut off our money to him. That was the last time I stepped up before today. I basically told her I loved them both, and if they stayed together and got married I wanted to have a relationship with my grandchildren. Cutting them off she would make that impossible, so I would not do that. She once again said ‘Yes dear’, and that was that.”

I heard him take a drink of something. “Of course, it is sad that they broke up a year later. But the point is your mom knows that there comes a point where if I see she is being stupid, I will step in and override her. And there is one other that stands out, you were too young to remember. She wanted to stay in Chinatown, I wanted to move here. And in that case also, I won. Of course, I also said that as the holder of the purse strings, I had the right to decide where I paid rent. I actually said I would move here and buy this house. She was welcome to visit with you two as often as she wanted. But I was going to live here, she had to make up her mind. Chinatown or me. Thankfully she chose me.”

I heard him take another drink, and held out my hand. He laughed. “Baby, do you know what it is I am drinking?”

“Nope, but I assume it is booze. Let me have a taste, then tell me.” And he did just that! It tasted like some kind of medicine. Yucky!

I asked him what it was, and he said “Jack Daniels”. And when I asked him how he could drink that, he said it was an acquired taste. “When I first drank it, I hated it. But later I came to appreciate it. I have seen you in the last year, when you visited us you drink coffee with us. But when you were younger you hated it. What happened?”