Chapter 37: The Miraculous Return

[Pollution treatment facility used to mix gizem with various compounds to be returned to the earth]

Each night the bunk house felt more rejecting, colder, and even though the summer’s influence was warming up I got colder and sadder, lonelier. Gail and Linda didn’t show up anymore. I experienced a strange realization I wouldn’t see anybody. I wished I knew how to get in touch with Betty but I had no idea, didn’t even know for sure which direction their dairy was from the farm. I seemed to be forced into a kind of required solitude, not something I wasn’t already used to from my youth but just the same.

I showed up for meals and the atmosphere was just overall sadder. I wished I could fuck the wife but she was Denny’s lover now and I wasn’t going to get in the way of that. She messed with me anyway and I told her I was really having a hard time not jumping her bones with the absence of my other lovers. She laughed and seemed to enjoy my desires left wanting, spent more time fondling, feeling every surface of me which she knew drove me nuts as my penis yearned beyond the hurting stage.

I fantasized her sitting in my lap at the table doing as Lilly and Linda had done. I knew she could read my thoughts but she didn’t respond with any sitting other than bending over and rubbing her dress up and down my erection. She would just idly masturbate me with one hand as she stirred food or cooking with the other. Her heart wasn’t in it other than teasing. And without her influence I was surprised at how seldom my penis went erect. It seemed prompt-less with a switch in life entirely from recent parochial school graduation, my virgin life steeped in religion, flipped one hundred and eighty degrees to fucking for wages, the full time naked livestock totally, crazily needing to fuck something.

The sisters had created me and now they were gone missing.

It was amazing what influence the sisters had over the entire nature of our realm at the dairy. They were not some odd influence running alongside the primary purpose of the milking. It seemed they were more than integral in gluing the dairy operation together. In one sense, whether anybody wanted to completely admit it or not, the dairy was just a lifeless imprisonment without them. Even the cows seemed to have some sense of loss but the more I talked to them the less they paid attention to me, probably assuming me crazy.

I came to honor the sisters entirely, not like I’d known before. It was just one more realization this kid made as a slave laborer. It gave me some time, a break from them, to get perspective of what I was doing with my strange summer job which had taken me so far removed from what I was as a parochial boy, needless to say a character utterly unlike my former self.

It was a challenge to bear the supernatural teasing that the sisters dealt, and it was even painful at times, but the loving nature they exuded made up for all the challenges. In missing them the loss was beyond hard to bear. In less than a month, in their close company, I was an addict hopelessly in love with them all and I felt naked without them.

I had crazily assumed perhaps Lilly, although she was a sister, would still be present in the mornings to help me along while the four sisters were absent, but no, all were gone and in fact even the guys were not present. That was mysterious. I couldn’t begin to know why they were missing or where they had gone. They had been present in the morning, before dehorning, but then suddenly vanished. Surely the son realized that too.

Before I went to sleep the fourth night, after I started counting the days ahead until I was supposed be going home to get ready for college, I’d given up the idea they were coming back regardless of what the son had told me. I thought about how I wouldn’t have to worry about departure from my friends anymore, the longing that would create. I wondered how my future would be without my connection to them and how I would get along having been forced to sever my heart from theirs so abruptly. I would have to assume they had never happened at all, just more like the rejection I was accustomed to, how I had learned to survive on my own as a kid.

I guessed the situation turned out to be appropriately weird for me and I wondered if I was still expected to be breeding livestock, no clothes.

I was suddenly struck by the fear I wouldn’t be allowed to leave the dairy, all branded and assumed a livestock slave. That was impossible though because my parents would rescue me, or would they, or could they? I would have to plot how I would make my escape if that became necessary in September, or maybe right now. Perhaps I would just run away into the night but I’d have to do it naked and vulnerable. Maybe I could find my clothes now while the nymphs were gone but I doubted that possible. Maybe Denny would help me, loan me some clothes.

In spirit I was already done with the dairy and I just wanted to go home and get on with my life. But wondering what had happened to the sisters was still a nagging compulsion that would possibly slowly wear off in time.

[The sister nymphs were a large core of existence on older earth. They were charged with cleaning up pollution created by “man” and the task was far easier, before. They worked nights finishing before dawn and their numbers were greater before it was determined that earth’s humans were not to be forgiven for ignoring the obvious increasing mess they were making.

Nymphs began to move elsewhere in the realm to work on more rewarding projects. Much like humans they needed some respect. Being ignored held little tolerance for them to share.

One must understand they simply lived pollution. it was not hated by them. They loved to smoke something rolled up, what - one will never know, and they immersed themselves in the filth until disregard by mankind got so blatant.

Some of that older earth was still mine, in my youth. I lived it and it was such a better place too. You simply can’t fool some of us and we’re dying. We’re taking that reality, those memories with us when we go. Like the nymphs we are tired of being ignored]

I decided not to cut short my stay at the dairy, regardless. I would stick it out until September or at least for a while if for no other reason than to embrace the challenge of waiting for my lovers to return. I couldn’t just run away now. Some sense told me that. What if they returned? What if they returned and I was gone? What would that cause? The more I thought about it the more I needed them because they had made it perfectly clear they needed me in order to survive transition. And there was something, intent, that was far more important than even that. I didn’t even want to go on living without them. I didn’t care about my past life. They were more important. They were most important now.

I would be very coy about escaping, if and when, at the proper time, carefully planned, giving the owners no indications I was leaving. They would be suspicious if I tried to escape now, probably expecting it. I couldn’t take the chance of failing when I left because if caught I didn’t know what to expect from the evil son. I was sure he was capable of any kind of torture. I’d probably end up hanging on a hook in the meat locker because I considered him insane. I would assume to act demure and totally obedient to him until later.

The night’s sleep was rough, one bad dream after another. They were about loss and about the enemy that couldn’t be beaten. At some point I thought I was shaken awake with the realization something was different but I was still aware of a very dark-cold bunk house. I rubbed my eyes to try to see some semblance of light but it reminded me of my dad’s dark room where he developed his photos, a completely light free environment. As a kid it always scared me not being able to see my hand in front of my face. It gave me sense of fathomless space eternal. This experience was now the same and I tried instinctively to stand up and look around for some distant light out of the window.

My mind kept trying to tell me I was still dreaming as I remembered sleep walking as a kid. Suddenly I felt what I thought was a hand on me and I shuddered. I may have cried out but I couldn’t be sure, still sleep groggy as I fell away on to my backside. The fall felt almost like infinity, that timelessness; it was familiar but haunting because I’d experienced that in the embrace of the nymphs when I was sheltered in their love. Now they were missing; I felt utterly abandoned and vulnerable, a sense of danger so chilling.

I just lay there not knowing what to do, staying very still, listening for what seemed a long time, trying not to breath to limit distraction. I knew real fright, not because of an unseen enemy but because of loss made even more real. I wanted to shrug it off and just go back to sleep and I tried to but it was no use.

Then, I began to understand that perhaps this was something to do with the sisters.

I got excited. I waited. I feared-absolutely. Time passed as the sense of warmth and cold volleyed back and forth like breezes passing by. I think I sensed some distant sound like wind or a rushing-by but hardly discernible.

There were voices, maybe not voices, scrambling and discordant sounds with incomplete meaning that kept passing again and again, very faint, stopping suddenly. I thought of the radio with its wandering stations struggling for presence. It was like somebody or something was trying to connect but failing constantly, continually.

Around and around the occurrences ran like a cosmic carousel of sorts. Whatever I was experiencing definitely felt cyclical and kept recycling again and again from here to and there and never. There was a huge hole in a vacuum somehow begging for presence but lacked coherency even though it slowly seemed to be getting stronger.

More time passed or perhaps there was no sense of that, I’m not sure, but before I became aware of complete and surrounding warmth it felt like the inky darkness was penetrating me. It sank deeper and deeper, then passing completely through me along its way to elsewhere, nowhere. I became a non- object, a non-existence, but I continued breathing just the same, filled with a sorrow I didn’t seem to own.

The inky black seemed to be searching for me, through me; what for? It seemed to pass into my intestines through my anus with a cold rush and then into my balls, filling and hurting. It began to hurt as though it was completely foreign. I’m not sure but I thought my penis was beyond erect, stretching and stretching simultaneous with my balls increasing in pain. But there was nothing I could do. I felt entirely helpless. There was nothing to fuck.