Chapter 18: From the Ire to True Love

[It was official - I was their butt puppet (for good, fun times)]

[And there are so many ways to express their need to shove things up
inside me through my anus]

They fell quiet as I lay silent, naked, gross and all slimy-hopeless. Finally, slowly, I got up.

“OH my GAWD.” I dry heaved doubling over and fell to my knees. I just avoided their eyes and was so embarrassed, mortified. I muttered “OW-w-w - ow, oh, ow.” I knew I was way outclassed for strength and what a stupid thing for me to try. If I’d had a tail you know where it would have been. I sobbed. And I did have a tail. I didn’t even realize I was carrying that hose around still hanging out of my butt, completely too numb to be felt.

I crawled back half hearted to finally get up and make like I was washing the next cow but just remained quiet as I leaned over cement and tried to avoid vomiting again. My aches and pains slowly subsided just a bit from a state of full body shock and found their pin point locations.

Embarrassment filled my head like an explosion and I just stopped thinking about anything but pain in hopes the situation would please go away. The warm I felt running down my side was blood but from where exactly I didn’t know. For the second time in a day I was totally embarrassed in front of these awesome milkers and it was just more than I could take. I was completely, body and soul, naked in their midst and I assumed now they were happy and I completely didn’t care about them anymore outside of awful fear.

At Supper

[The saddest character imaginable with a hose hanging out of his butt]

They finished up the milking without me saying a word and I left the parlor early without looking at any of them, limping away. I couldn’t believe my encounter with these new milkers had ended so badly.

Nothing made any sense and where was Lilly and the others? What caused this to happen? Why had the other milkers and Lilly all abandoned me? Why weren’t these four astonished with what they’d cause me to do? They acted like nothing unusual had taken place.

It was unbelievable what my penis had done. Who knows how many gallons of that gizem stuff shot out of me and all over them. And they loved it intent on sharing with me by rubbing it all over me continually and sticking it in my mouth. I truly hated them but more so feared.

All the rejection pent up wanted me to grab my gear and hit the road and not worry about where I was going or how I looked as long as it was away. My life of rejection bloomed its ugly memories and as usual my only defense was to run. I should have called my parents to get me out of this situation but I would never be able to use the phone in this conspiracy. How could I have known how my experience with Lilly, odd enough, could have turned so much worse with these characters? This entire place was crazy. I needed so badly to talk to her.

But I had no gear to run away with as I was left alone with nothing but a battered gross body and a naive mind. I hated myself for being so stupid. Why? Why me?

Now I wanted to eat, even with having vomited recently, because I’d lost all my nourishment. Like a typical kid I opted FOR FOOD, to quickly walk down the road to the farm house first perhaps thinking that I’d find a shoulder to cry on, anybody, the wife, Bernice, some sympathy, getting some answers.

I didn’t know who to trust. Even the son had to see something awful in what had happened to me. I’d look for help. Perhaps I could sneak to the phone, make a collect call. My dad was so cheap I wondered if he would accept the charges.

There must have been one sane person in this dairy bunch who would help me. I’d be willing to fuck for favors. I’d even fuck the wife if she’d help me.

Quickly I swaggered-staggered down the edge of the road covered with everything awful. I pondered just walking down to the kitchen to severely demand an explanation to the treatment I was receiving. Somebody should be held responsible for my beatings; somebody should notice I was covered with vomit and blood and slime. I would assume that might get attention for my plight. I had to have looked like the victim from a horror film. Maybe if I walked to one of the neighboring dairies.

But I wanted to get to the house possibly before the new milkers, or “The Milkers, yeah,” assuming they might be headed there, to avoid maybe being beat up on the way perhaps in the middle of the road. I didn’t know.

I was getting more and more angry, completely unnerved and at the same time frightened out of my wits, really mad in a different braver way, unlike myself and so damned hungry. So I just took off immediately without cleaning up because I was already a bleeding breeding needy nerd appropriately attired for livestock. If anybody happened across me on the road, “YEAH -I’m livestock. Just look at me. What the fuck did you think? Get me out of here!”

I hurried down the road to avoid confrontation on the way. I didn’t care if anybody else saw me even if my penis was still discharging all along the way. It they saw me all beat up maybe they would get help but I realized I was also leaving a trail like a garden slug.

About half way to the house I began to hear a squeaking sound, a sound that was familiar. It was darker now and as I limped along the sound got louder coming from behind. There were no headlights shining so my fear of cars wasn’t piqued. Gaining on me I finally looked around to note to my surprise a bicycle was approaching as it began to slow down. There was a darkly clad rider slumped over on the handle bars, probably an old person. Finally they stopped on the opposite side of the road, feet down and I figured they were keeping their distance from the strange naked dirty gross bleeding livestock guy walking alone with an oozing penis.

“Where are you going?” I squinted to see who was talking to me. “I’m going to the house down there.” It was apparently an old women riding the bike and she studied me for moments before talking again. She spoke calmly, matter of fact. “There’s something hanging out of your butt. As I approached you looked like you’d had a rough day. What have you been doing?” “I’ve been milking cows back at the parlor.” “Oh yeah. That makes sense.”

[Such a surprise - someone willing to pull a long hose out of my butt without gloves on]

She rode on along on the squeaking old girl’s bike that was ancient looking. But before she got going she beckoned me to come close. “Turn around.” I looked at her for moments not trusting the situation but finally I turned with my back to her. “Hold still.”

Suddenly I felt the hose in my anus being tugged on. “OOOH! OH GAWD.”

The strange feeling of that was almost overwhelming and then apparently she was done. I think I almost passed out with the light headed response to having that pulled on. It was a whole body experience. I couldn’t tell how long the hose might have been but I swear I felt it in my throat.

She seemed to be completely comfortable with pulling that out of me. As she rode on I looked down at the road and noted in the very dim light it had alarming length. “Where did they stick all that,” I muttered to myself. I wrapped my arms around myself and just stood still for moments to make sure I was okay. “They know what they’re doing,” trailed off her distant voice, I think, and I couldn’t make out what else she said as she rode on. Maybe she said something like, “You know what they’re doing... ?” It simply made me shiver.

I almost called out to her again but shy got a hold of me and I just let it go. I was thankful to her for taking care of me. But now I was all alone again standing in the middle of the road with a hard-on and feeling my poor anus in the aftermath. Who was she?

The sisters were probably known by some folks in the area I guessed. But I sure wished I wasn’t so afraid to talk to her. I might have learned something. It was so terribly odd to meet someone like her on a deserted road in my condition and then have her pull a long icky hose out of my butt without giving it a second thought. I wondered if she would relate the experience to her friends.

She’d probably say, “Well, they got another dumb young fuck down there for the milkers to mess with.” They probably loved the notion of another young male was being tortured. “They have him stripped naked and all beat, bleeding, with one of those enormous penises. Talk about funny! And this guy seems even more naive than the last ones!” That made me ponder the possible murder of past subjects doing what I was doing.

But for some reason talking to a regular human, regardless of who it was, seemed to calm me from my state of crazed anxiety. She wasn’t even astonished I was naked and on the road walking in my sad state. Strange. I wouldn’t have wanted to pull that hose out of some stranger’s rear while out on the road by myself in the dark. She didn’t even seem concerned about needing to wash her hands.

I arrived through the garage with nobody around. I made sure. I stumbled in and up the wood stairs opening the door to the kitchen trying to be quiet but failing to be totally so. I peered in before opening the door all the way. I wasn’t sure if I should go in or not but I could smell food and that drove me beyond my fears.

I entered as quiet as I possibly could. I hoped without any good reasoning I would be almost ignored by the two ladies inside. I just wanted food, no talk, nothing else, just food. I didn’t need to try to explain anything about the reasons for my condition. In the back of my mind I already pondered sneaking back to the parlor to shower off afterward hoping not to find any milkers around. Maybe they would just disappear again back into the strangeness of their realm, whatever that was and I envisioned bats hanging upside down.

I walked to the table as the wife and Bernice both stooped over their work. I moved a chair out and that alerted them of my presence. They looked at me, first Bernice who then touched the wife’s elbow, and both were expression- less for a moment and then hurried to my side. The wife brought a towel, dampened, and started washing the blood from my side as she led me to the sink. That stung. Nothing was said, they just worked on me. They seemed not to be surprised at my condition almost as if they had been anticipating it.

“Please, where is Lilly?” I got no response and they didn’t seem to be in the least aroused other than by my sad condition.

I didn’t speak anymore as they rinsed and I looked literally like a drowned rat, barely sane from the treatment I’d just endured while merely performing the duties of my new job. I wreaked like vomit with that awful taste predominate in my mouth but I was too hungry to care. My anus was raw and I certainly wasn’t concerned about offending work mates with an abused body odor because I didn’t cause the mess I was in.

The two handled me with some sense of caring, feelings apparent, and I just stood still at the sink to endure the pain of their work trying to help me with my injuries as they cleaned the blood off my wounds. I hung my head and cried as silently as I could manage but was not able to avoid it. I hurt all over, both shook physically and in spirit. I felt so betrayed as though I had not a friend left in the world but certainly knew I had enemies.

My father had done this to me with his stupid belief I would be a better person.

My penis hung into the sink and drooled continually as I stood still. The sisters had done something to me causing me to ejaculate idly, continuing, non stop. Yes, I loved the feel of it but in my condition my aching overwhelmed any sense of enjoyment. What in the world would I forever do with a drooling penis?

The blood on me was coming from my elbow and the other from my hip which had a big raspberry scrape from the concrete. It was still red and raw and the two were still cleaning that off when the four milkers arrived without a sound and my heart sank when I realized it.

[Always messing with me, gremlins truly they were, needing to torture me and tease, like it was their life’s work -- they dressed me up in their clothes and then fucked with me real good for their own benefit]

After hoping either the four of them or I would just go away and never come back, there they were appearing out of nowhere. Then the wife and Bernice immediately stopped helping me leaving me barely cleaned off. They’d turned me to face them. I wanted to scream and my penis ejaculated a big glob on the floor as if in recognition. “Oh, that damned thing!”

The wife gestured to me and I cautiously moved to the table because I so badly wanted food. I quietly sat but only after standing motionless and looking at each one. I wanted so bad to yell at them for hurting me.

The four had waited until I sat down then immediately sat around me and needless to say I felt very uncomfortable because of what had just happened. I didn’t look at any of their faces any more but reached down to feel my anus which was still kind of weird after that hose was pulled out.

[From the very first write of Dairy of Desire, as I still had my clothes on]

I kept my eyes down and they seemed to be in a more somber mood, quiet, but not quite indifferent and still focusing on me. I didn’t know if they were affected by what had just happened in the parlor or not because they didn’t show it. They obviously didn’t feel bad about what they’d done, picking on a young guy who was far weaker than they. I so wanted to tell them off.

They certainly had an affinity for my penis and anus but I was pretty sure they considered my personality, the rest of me, so far, just a waste of their time. They were in some form supernatural and how could they care what happened to me? I was just a crummy human.

I wanted to ask about where the other members of the crew were but Bernice was cooking frantically at the stove. The wife had gone out of the kitchen and I wasn’t going to ask anything of the four sitting around me. I was sick of them. My anger was welling up but my head still hurt awful and I wasn’t about to challenge them. They were all powerful and my wounds were testament along with the gizem collecting between my legs on the chair. I looked down and sighed.

I knew I was no fun for them. I was hating myself for being a contradiction because I was invisibly pulled to their activities but was scared more than I could relate in words. How would any regular person react to these beings. I had nothing in life to prepare me for them. I shouldn’t have felt guilty. I was only reacting like any normal person would. But, Lilly said I wasn’t any ordinary person. She said my penis and I were like no other on Earth, entirely. If that was true why wasn’t I more prepared for what was happening to me? And why weren’t they treating me like I was special? I got up my courage to look around at their gaze, questioning them with mine.

[Future: Livestock sales became unconventional when the son showed up with the sisters and they insisted on providing breeder sire demonstrations for potential buyers. It was a bit overwhelming for most farm people but it was also quite explicit, left little for the imagination]

I felt like these four had stripped me of all self respect, which was already almost non-existent. They did it more than once and left me covered in slime making me look like a ridiculous bleeding chump. And yet The devil on my shoulder wanted to join in with them. Even if I wasn’t sure what to do the parochial brain washing was doing its work holding me back with some faithful restraint, just frozen scared incapable. Yet my penis was aroused so easily and it was ejaculating all the time which was madness. Maybe it wasn’t I who was special on planet Earth; maybe it was just my goo penis. Maybe they didn’t really like or need me but my mind kept flashing back to having my erection up in a vagina that felt so good, so incredibly good and stimulating.

Confusion still reigned supreme in my young head fraught with fright from rough sex acts unexplained with three all at once, peering deities in control. I cursed the damned brain washing for making a complete fool of me but also hid behind the border of faith for some sense of safety in the unknown with my bare butt, my anus, sticking up in the breeze utterly available and subsequently extremely well probed.

I dared again, glanced, then looked around the table to see any response but I didn’t note anything. I’m sure my eyes pleaded with them but they would just look at me on occasion with a kind of inquisitiveness but mostly no emotions. I knew them in a totally different way then their first introductions and things would not be the same anymore. I knew what they were capable of. I figured that I knew that they were basically evil and insanely sex driven. They were very beautiful but I saw grim characters within them all.

Given their response it was as if the whole experience, that had just blown me away, never really happened for them. If my head had not been buzzing with sheer exhaustion-fuzz I may have given it more thought but I was seriously on the verge of passing out from total depletion and I felt so betrayed by what was their kindness, caring, sensual politeness before they turned on me and messed with my mind, let alone terrorizing my body.

I knew very well what my childhood had taught me, what it meant to be forsaken. Now, again, I should have known better, dumb dick head. As a little boy I had been abused but not sexually and, oh my, not like they had just done me. I couldn’t even totally explain what had just happened to me. It was unearthly. I probably should have died and maybe this was just phase two of my obviously ruined life.

The milker’s general appearance didn’t indicate anything of their just previous antics in the milking parlor. They simply looked great. I was too tired to contemplate just how they managed to recover from all that washing and soap, with their hair only barely damp. I looked generally worse than a wet half dead bleeding gizem smeared manure nerd and couldn’t help but feel there were smirks on their faces because, after all, there should have been.

I imagined if I had been one of them, having the kind of fun they’d just had with their new dork, I’d be plumb full of glee at the moment, full of expectations too, planning up new tortures and waiting with anticipation for the next chance to fuck over my naked carcass. Apparently I was pretty much a perfect candidate for their fun.

What I feared at the moment most was what if they decided to do me over again right on the kitchen table which I knew was a familiar scene with Lilly’s sex. I hoped Bernice had hidden any hoses left laying around. And my penis would not stop doing those ejaculations ever increasing with their oozing as I sat there. It was spurting, actually making noise, and I wondered if that stuff aroused them with some intrinsic essence, a smell.

It really worried me. And then I noticed along with the mops and other clean up tools on the distant wall there was also a coiled up hose, really large diameter long stiff hose.

I looked at Branch again for some kind of guidance but her look back was simply tone-nonplussed in response to my fear expression. Fatally disappointed my eyes dropped down and remained that way. I noted the old vomit on the front of me and noted just how miserable a character I really was. My scrotum looked like I’d sailed through a sewer with an erection for a rudder, all things now mixed with new gizem goo.

[As evidenced by the expression on my face I knew the ecstasy of orgasm and ejaculation and yet I was so frightened by them, the sisters]

Eventually I looked at the owner’s wife who’d returned to the stove and I didn’t get any impression she saw anything weird about my situation. She looked at me perhaps inquisitively, slightly shaking her head when passing food to the table but my eyes were too shy to look back with any determination. I think I sensed a bit of a smirk from her too as she probably thought something funny about my appearance and behavior. She’d seen me in all kinds of embarrassing situations with Lilly and now she acted like nothing was out of the norm. It was almost as if she’d seen this type of thing before and the milkers were just up to their old tricks. Maybe I was just a new boy trick for them to turn as a next summer time chump.

Maybe the wife was behaving herself like nothing was unusual because she was afraid of them.

As efficient as the four were at beating me up I imagined they must have had plenty of practice. Maybe Bernice and the wife were also victims of their tortures. But I was beginning to understand the wife and perhaps Bernice were all part of this Mad Hatter feast and I was the joke, the sacrifice. The thought of them preparing me for something horrible and torturous made me feel clammy all over. I was beginning to feel not so hungry after all.

Finally I thought I would have expected breeding livestock to be treated better if I was supposed to be servicing females with some success. But I had no clue as to what or who all I would be servicing for herd replacement if I really was a breeding sire. My entire life thus far had been filled with more trust for women and caution regarding men and now this. I was surrounded. I felt too vulnerable.

So, I ate little although I was starving. There was no talking to anyone for sure. I held off on the food, was afraid to re-vomit with them still such a strong influence in my psyche and I tried to keep my mouth shut as much as possible. The puddle of gizem was growing on the floor underneath my chair and reminded me of kindergarten and wetting my pants under my desk. The moment had just begun overwhelming emotion.

[In the sense of torture, me, getting the treatment just to scare me, I envisioned this with the sister nymphs doing me in the kitchen like preparing sausage for meals - they were so mean]

This city kid had been thrust into the most amazing situation by his unknowing father (maybe unknowing) to be amongst a cross section of humanity and other creatures that scored lightning strikes in my already too productive imagination. I had no idea what lay ahead in the coming months or even in the coming minutes. Survival wasn’t something that crossed my mind until later this very day. The fact my sex drive was healthy was established with my independent thinking prong but my ego was pretty well deflated flat from its already limp state. I couldn’t figure out why my penis wasn’t more like a turtle, afraid to come out when I was in shock; the damned thing just kept going strong like it belonged to somebody else, or maybe them.

Finally, I was almost too bewildered to even leave the table, hopeless for any future now and I felt my shoulders shake as I uncontrollably sobbed almost silently. I was holding back with all my might to avoid showing them any emotions. So, I stopped eating suddenly and quickly got up. I pushed my chair back with the backs of my knees and the wood legs scuttled across the concrete loudly.

I stood for just a second as they all stared at my erection sticking out so far. Two big drips on the table and I turned to quickly headed toward the door rushing out as I heard the wife’s words, “Aren’t you going to...” The words trailed off as I disappeared into the dark night and out through the garage still leaving a trail of goo and gizem like a garden slug.

Hurrying out ahead of the milkers I wanted to avoid meeting them outside on the way back to the bunk house, however that might happen. For fear of being thrashed I didn’t wait for the wife to signal me to go. I didn’t get an answer as to where Lilly was, or anybody. I just stood up with a gooey damned erection, grabbed it to avoid banging it on the table as I rose and rushed from the kitchen before anybody could follow.

I hurried back up the same road I’d walked the nights before and I kept watch behind me hoping not to see the milkers. I didn’t know what would become of them, where they might go for the night. Again I imagined bats hanging from rafters. I hated them.

I hurried to get away and I’d not really given any thought at first to being on the highway naked in my messed up state. My penis was really starting to spurt even more in cadence with my steps, a little with the jerking of each hurried stride, and I bet myself those sisters were causing that as retribution for my leaving supper so soon. They could follow my trail of glistening gizem. Suddenly, behind, there were lights from a car and I’m sure the high beams bounced some photons off my bright white butt.

I started running although my feet were sore but I was panicked with the thought of being caught on the road naked and strangely, even in my fright, my erection was stiffer than stiff. I wondered if sensitive feet were making my penis extra aroused. I wished to hell it would just stop making such a mess. But anything was possible given the new strange nature of my dick. Nothing about it made sense but my prong pointed the way like it was vibrating with expectation, squirting away and I again gave thought to the shiny trail it must have been leaving.

How would I ever hide while leaving a trail everywhere and especially in someone’s headlights coming along.

I ran as fast as I could hoping to reach the drive into the dairy complex before the car passed but that was hopeless. It approached and I heard yelling, laughing coming from the passenger side as they pulled along side. They were obviously drunk, two women, and the cat calls were noting my condition. My erection was wagging at them like a puppy and one woman noted the size of it with lots of expletives. The car passed just ahead and then swerved in front as the driver slammed on the brakes. I didn’t have time to react sensibly and I headed for the ditch to the right not being able to see what was ahead. “Sploosh”, I landed in deep water to grab my glasses, to fight for air.

The car backed up slowly after my head popped up. There was some conversation about my whereabouts and the passenger woman got out to look along the ditch bank. The driver backed up slowly until the outer radiance of the head lights shown down to where I was clinging and I was discovered. “THERE you are honey,” the passenger said with a liquored slur. “What the fuck are you doing in the ditch with that big hard-on of yours?” They both laughed themselves hoarse with smoker coughs. “C’mon, let me help you up.”

It was frigid in that water and stickers, black berries, had gripped me in the dark muddy mess. The woman, squatting, held on to the running board alongside and extended her hand to me as I accepted it and pulled myself up the bank trying to avoid scraping my penis. The mud sucked at me and I was going numb in that cold water but it simply seemed to make my erection entirely more erect. Why would that make the stupid thing more aroused?

I struggled as I pulled and pulled and didn’t have much strength left. It seemed to take forever for me to get back to the road surface with her help. I rolled over on my back with my penis sticking straight up and just laid there on the shoulder for a bit. I was afraid all the commotion may have alerted those hated milkers. I couldn’t imagine what might happen had the four milkers descended on both drunk women and me in the dark.