Chapter 11: Forsaken

[Readied to leave the bunk house in the nude and releshing more of Lilly]

This time I wasn’t alone leaving the bunk house early, around the corner, through the loafing shed and out into the cool morning air. Shivers were ahead of us but nobody yet seemed to give a darn how I looked. I assumed them still too sleepy to care that my penis was spitting, sticking straight out. But still, how stupid I felt!

Although it was predawn dark the picture must have been hilarious, real pale big untanned butt beacon and for some ridiculous reason I kept trying to equate this to any experiences I’d had in high school. I would have to have been totally dumb to equate my current situation to anything previous but I loved to ponder having walked down the hallways just as I was currently. And I’d never heard of a group of people like four mentally challenged men walking in concert with a naked lady wearing only a baseball cap together down a cow trail into nowhere as if they had purpose in the dim pre dawn with a guy pointing a whopper boner straight ahead like he was pointing the way.

And it was a challenge to negotiate poop with bare feet as I needed to learn to not care about that anymore. At least stepping in poop didn’t hurt. Lilly interrupted my weaving between piles, “Okay Mr. Worried Feet. LISTEN TO ME.

I’ll give you a tip. Don’t avoid the cow poop with your feet. That’s the trick. Cow poo is soft and the warm stuff is the best at keeping your feet in shape so it doesn’t hurt to walk bare foot all the time. Get it?” “Are you teasing me?” “No, I’m serious. It’s my magic for you. And you can wash your feet in the milking parlor, anal one. Cow poop actually is pretty darned innocent stuff. See? There? Step in it! Okay, that’s more like it. Not bad huh? And it’s hardly like sticking your face in it which I’m apt to do if you don’t shake off your old self pity and parochial stuff pretty soon.”

I’d once been warned anybody joining a certain secret high school club for cool kids had to go through initiation. The story went how one initiation requirement forced possible new members to get naked and run at night around the football field track holding a marshmallow between the cheeks of their butt.

The challenge, really, was the fact charter members would shoot at you with BB guns trying to get you to drop the marshmallow. That was the closest most common linked memory I could come up visualizing what was happening to me currently. I never knew if the initiation really took place or was just legend. Then I remembered me holding toilet paper under my arms and Lilly pulling me along by my penis as the guys took swipes slapping me on the bare butt. She kept telling me to mind the toilet paper and not drop it and amazingly I didn’t, not even with Vern poking, perhaps kind of fucking me in the ass as Lilly groped my penis.

I was not a cool kid in any regard. Yet I was now going through an initiation making anything “High School” pale by comparison. No cool kid with a marshmallow stuck in his butt crack had to experience anything like I had thus far and nobody had a penis the size of my new Lilly induced prong.

How would I ever relate all this to my friends back in the city, a naked girl friend sticking her hand up inside me to make my erection get bigger, to squirt stuff she used as hand lotion. She even sucked it out and swallowed the gizem. I couldn’t get over that and I’d have to explain gizem to them too.

Yes, I would have loved to been able to tell my cohorts in school about my current hazing. There’s no way anyone would believe my story and actually I would have a hard time finding the words to explain Lilly’s special dessert or being pulled by my penis up the road or the taste of a full face vagina blast.

Suddenly Lilly poked me and laughed at my day dreaming mind as she simultaneously gave my penis a yank and put her instant index finger just into my butt hole. She, never seemed to miss the mark.

“Lilly, I wish I could’ve had this penis in high school.” “You would have only managed to get yourself in trouble,” she said. “Girls gossip about big penises.” How funny I thought. “I never knew that.” “I know. There’s lots you don’t know.”

Suddenly a frightening thing happened as I was weirdly transposed walking down the hallway in high school. I was just as I was while walking with Lilly to the night pasture, naked, giant erection and gizem oozing. But I was surrounded with kids carrying their books. I was in the familiar place at school between classes walking the hallway with that familiar Pinesol smell and kids were noticing me, looking surprised. They started moving away from me, some girls looking utterly shocked.

They all focused on my oozing erection. Guys were giving me serious looks. Somebody said, “Tom? What are you doing? What’s wrong with you?” And at the moment Lilly was laughing; I was back on the trail stunned. “How was that?” she said. “You still want to be back in school right now?” “NO! That was too weird!” She poked me in the side. “Let me know any time you want to be back with your friends, your job after school, church,” she laughed. I kept quiet. I hadn’t realized her powers and I wanted to say “I’m sorry” but I didn’t

[POINT OF INTEREST: For one of my duties, and because the dairy was close associated with the state agricultural college, I was volunteered working with Lilly to supply gizem for testing at the state lab. This Lilly enjoyed immensely and of course the profuse amounts available made it easier to handle in transport. The professor in charge of the research would bring along his post doc associate to do the heavy work. What would ordinarily be a simple task collecting semen like material was almost life threatening. And of course the professor was oblivious but pleased with the results. Oddly, maybe not, Lilly wanted to provide far more than necessary]

We headed down the lane to the night pasture and the cool morning dew was cold. “Where’d your penis go?,” teased Lilly. I looked down and the poor thing was hiding from the cold exposure. “Come on Lilly. Don’t tease me. It’s bad enough as it is. I’m naked. It’s cold out.” “Where’s your penis Tom?,” said Virgil, who probably was looking for a chance to get even with me for stealing his girl friend’s attention.

He’d obviously come awake with the same cold air causing me penis fright. “Where’s your penis Tom? Where’s your penis Tom? ... Where’s your penis Tom?,” they all started chiming in, chanting except for Vern. It was pretty astonishing just how shriveled up and short it had become quite suddenly and the gizem was cold on my legs.

This was worse than Cub Scout Clamorama. At least I wasn’t completely naked for that event and I had no alternatives to my current condition, no mens restroom to go to and get dressed. I was out of luck now controlled by the will of Lilly but in new-luck-delirious with her passion focused on me. “I wish I was back in bed with you Lilly.” She pinched my butt.

Vern came close and said in a whisper, “It’s just this initiation stuff Tom. They’ll stop teasing when you’re done with that this morning. Then you’ll just be one of us from now on.” There was a tiny amount of relief in Vern’s words but the prospects of just being just one of them made me wonder. I wasn’t ever going to be “Retarded”, as the son put it, and I let out a big sigh, hopeless, in response to all my current situations. But maybe he meant I was going to get some clothes and I thought it was nice of him to try to make me feel better. “And you’re sure fun to fuck,” he said. “Your anus is awesome!”

I just couldn’t wait for breakfast for more than one reason. It wouldn’t come nearly soon enough. Somebody snuck up and pinched me on the butt plus smeared fresh cow manure on me. My heart had sunk to the bottom now. I was butt pinched, penis short and naked, stupid looking to the max with fresh shit smeared stinky in the middle of my back. Vern had just told me he “fucked” me and that ended my wondering about that term. I didn’t want to think about it.

I kept asking myself why I was allowing all of this to happen? But, then, I was so far from home, all new to this dairy life and I hoped at some point to be allowed to get back to normal everyday living, clothes on, stuff like that. I would promise to be so good.

Yet I wanted to be friends with Lilly with the same special sleeping privileges. And I was pretty scared to be conflicting with her demands. She didn’t seem to be willing to bend in her commitment to keeping me naked and sexually man handled. But my part in her zest was cooling with the dropping air temperature even though she was somehow compelling me to belong to her wishes as if I could feel her on me all the time.

I hated myself for being so naive.

[An old render depicting same scene, different character, early writing]

As we approached the end of the trail above the night pasture Virgil and John and Reggie all descended the hill and Lilly went part of the way. She looked glorious as a silhouette against the morning glow of the great mountain at sunrise. I had this compulsion to hug her and get back to feeling her all over me as I stood still, shivered and dribbled.

They started calling the cows. “Where’s your p-e-n-i-s Ta-a-a-w-w-w-m - where’s your p-e-n-i-s Ta-a-a-w-w-w-m - where’s your p-e-n-i-s Ta-a-a-w-w-w- m” They weren’t going to let up on teasing me. But I noticed the cows were beginning to move up the hill, regardless, even without saying “Come Boss”. Obviously it didn’t really matter what you said. The cows knew it was time to get milked and the sing-song of the call was the signal.

Lilly came back up the hill just ahead of the lead cow. She’d gone down to give the old girl a big morning hug just like she’d done for us. She was just aglow in her marvelous skin and it kind of made me feel a little proud to be naked just like her. How odd for me. But she sure didn’t have any reservations; she was a free spirit and she wasn’t all goose bumps. “Where’s your p-e-n-i-s Ta-a-a-w-w-w-m - where’s your p-e-n-i-s Ta-a-a-w-w-w-m - where’s your p-e-n-i-s Ta-a-a-w-w-w-m-M-M.”

The view of the day was unencumbered, immensely beautiful, just like Lilly. Three of us walked together back to the loafing with the first of the herd. I purposely walked behind Vern and Lilly so I could watch her moving with grace. I was really getting used to watching her bottom, very intent, and I looked down to notice my penis coming out again to catch the view as well even though it wasn’t much warmer out. Watching Lilly was doing the trick. It stuck out swinging side to side which felt great. I found I missed its being stiff and I’d missed the goo even more if it slowed down or stopped.

Lilly finally peeled off our course at the big door opening in the loafing shed and walked on toward the road, around the corner, apparently to the milk house. I stayed with Vern because I needed to talk to somebody about another weird dream. It was coming back to me and it was so unusual and seemed so real. I wanted to share it with somebody besides Lilly because she seemed to have knowledge out of the ordinary and I needed to confer with somebody at least a little more like me. Maybe I could get a straight answer.

“Vern?” “Yeah” “Do you ever dream about girls?” “Yeah.” “Can I tell you about my dream I had last night?” “Yeah.” I dreamt I was waking up early, just like we do except that Reggie was not in his bed, next to me. There was somebody else in his bed, a beautiful girl with strange ears, really long ears and really red hair. She was gorgeous. She glowed.

She got up out of the bed and smiled at me. She was simply amazing! Then she went out of sight and I didn’t see her again. She was pretty awesome. Really, she actually glowed, like was shining.

When I first woke up I couldn’t remember the dream. I just knew I had one but that was it and now I keep remembering it better and better.” “I know her,” said Vern “What!? You know who I’m talking about?” “She comes with the others.” “Others?” “Yeah, Fern, one of the sisters. The ones that usually milk at night.” “She was naked!” “Yup, they do that too.”

I got chills up my back. “Wow!” It seemed the mention of the girl and Vern’s “others” gave me more goose bumps. I didn’t know why but I felt a tug on my penis so warm. “She was really something Vern. I’d sure like to see her again.” “You probably will if you stay here.” “When?” “At night. They milk at night.” “Does Lilly know her?” “Yeah, they’re sisters and they all like to fuck too.”

“O-o-o-o-h my,” - was my low spoken response. Now I really had some questions that needed answering plus my penis was really stretching for some reason. It seemed perhaps we were dealing with ghosts or something like that. That was creepy. “Vern?” “Yeah.” “Do you get scared with all this stuff, visitors and stuff?” “No, not really. They are all really nice and all of us guys really like to fuck a lot. It’s a good thing. I really LOVE fucking Tom.” Can I do you in a little while?”

“Yes, you sure do,” I muttered to myself. “Can I do you in a little while?”

Then I remembered my ride in the truck with the son and his mention of Lilly’s sisters, very little explanation about them, but he gave the impression that he didn’t have much to do with them and perhaps didn’t like them. He almost seemed frightened, even as big a guy as he was. They had to be same persons Vern was talking about, a mystery to me. “The sisters,” and perhaps my dream wasn’t a dream at all but rather a very sleepy encounter with one of them.

I certainly didn’t get why she would be in Reggie’s bed. “Maybe she was letting Reggie fuck her... , “ I muttered but I’d save that with my other questions at a later time. Maybe she and Reggie had been fucking right next to me and I didn’t even know it?

This thing with “Fucking” was just too much. It was becoming so much an apparent big part of dairy life I’d never heard about before. That was amazing, something so common for them -- so foreign for me. “Uh, oh. uhm, sure, you can poke me if you like. I mean if you don’t mind doing a guy. It’s just so new for me, you know?” “It fits,” Vern added.

I decided to leave Vern alone and not ask any more questions. I didn’t want to upset him and now I was determined to try to corner Lilly for an inquisition. I had to get some answers about what was going on in this place. I was about to be creeped out, I thought, but I didn’t want to go home yet.

I wanted to see more girls in action. The sex stuff so far was out of this world. That would make being naked all the time worth it, I thought. I couldn’t just give up so soon. I had to keep my old parochial vanguards in check because I never knew before how cool sex with girls was.

We followed the steps of the day before as we prepared to start milking. It would be the same every single day, the only difference being Sunday in that we weren’t to work in between milkings. That gave a few hours off to relax and there was always “Church” which didn’t seem possible anymore.

Milking was underway. Again I entered the parlor feeling vulnerable, exposed just like the evening before, and that gave the experience of the humid intense manure atmosphere more meaning. I could feel it on all my skin, touching me everywhere as if it was taunting me to be embarrassed.

It seemed to crawl on me trying to get in. It was humid warm and my penis suddenly stiffer as if the environment stimulated it. That was weird. Did my penis like manure? What an odd experience, my imagination flashing images of me sticking my penis into a fresh pile, real warm stuff. EEEeeuuuuwww!

I descended the stairs just as before and each step made my erection bounce and get longer. I wanted to cover up but there was no use. I was permanent erect and growing. I, or rather it, was intensely aroused, up to its now usual tricks but, OH, what a commanding presence and my never ending experience of trying to get used to it.

As I descended Lilly was already starting to work on cows, applying the cups. I was surprised. I felt let down because she had her clothes on. My heart sank, alone in my state of exhibitionism. I felt so wary to be among all of them, the only one naked. It was as weird as it gets and then that prompt in the back of my mind somewhat kept encouraging, be proud, be different, a commanding erection so huge.

I quickly walked to the far end of the stanchions to start washing on the first cows and quietly passed Lilly as she focused on her cow. She didn’t even acknowledge me. Surprised I paused, looked at her, but just kept quiet and went on.

I didn’t understand why Lilly ignored me but I was used to that kind of treatment so I minded my own business and kept to my work. I vowed not to bother her.

I worried, for good reason. What if the son or the old man came to help with milking? I had no idea how they would react to my constant big erection. Lilly was going to have to help me, I hoped. I didn’t think I could really, exactly, explain why I was in my current state; it all seemed ridiculous and what if the owner had his scoop shovel with him. That might really hurt with no clothes to buffer the whack. He could aim for my bare butt, maybe my penis, my balls! What if he really lost it went into a rage.

He was the one who made me lose my clothes in the first place and now I was feeling guilty for being naked. That was nuts. None of this was my doing.

Later

There were six of us in the parlor working fast and no family members had shown up yet. I had no idea what time it was or how long we had to go til finish. I was really keeping up with the milkers fairly well and that made me feel better about myself. Nobody was complaining. Nobody was teasing me. None of the guys were having their way with me. Things seemed quite ordinary.

I didn’t have to worry about getting wet with nothing on and that fact I found a possible advantage. I discovered when cow poop splattered on me it was a simple matter of just hosing off. If I wanted to stay all wet all the time that was great. The water was really warm and so were the cows. Clothes made the issue of trying to stay clean and dry troublesome. But naked, who cares. It was almost fun.

I also noticed the lull of all the steam and increasing warmth didn’t put me to sleep. It must have been the extra sensual experience of exposure and bare feet on the wet floor. And hosing my erection with warm water was pretty arousing too. I did it a lot and the hoses closest to the boiler were hottest. I got used to really warm, long idling squirts on my crotch which the others thought was funny because I was breathing heavy while washing away the constant gizem.

Problems happened a lot, banging my penis on the concrete ledge hurt. Never in life had I realized what a sensitive penis I had to various kinds of arousing sensations but it was always tucked inside pants and forbidden to play with. There it was always real handy but off limits according to the faithful ones.

I wished I’d whipped it out in class to start having fun stroking it as I sat at my desk. That would have been something if it was as big as it was now. That one nun who was kind of the mind reader, who gave me such a hard time, what if I’d been ejaculating at my desk. Wow. How would she have handled that one?

Once my dad had tried to have a conversation with me about “The Birds And The Bees” and he asked me if I ever “played with myself”. I answered yes whenever the other kids couldn’t come outside. Otherwise I had no idea what he was talking about. He never ever pursued that lesson again even as I got older and into high school. I guess he figured I was a hopeless nerd. Up until now he was right. And thinking about it now I wondered if he thought I meant I was doing my penis when my friends couldn’t play. That made me laugh. I’m sure he never knew I’d ejaculated down the heater vent but one time.

Being naked of course made it more available to play with because I was supposed to. Why else would I have one? I thought about priests who never married and had a penis dormant all their lives. I thought about nuns who had vaginas and didn’t use them, supposedly. What was that all about? What a waste. Then I wondered if the priests ever visited the nuns like at night. I bet they did. Why not? “Holy Fuck,” I laughed.

I had worked my way from one end of the parlor to the other several times and I was getting ready to leave a cow and go to the far end when I felt somebody, lingering, brushed by me. That wasn’t anything unusual but I felt a bit vulnerable to gropes. There was a simultaneous tap on my shoulder and a long feel up my butt crack, lingering. I jumped.

I looked the direction of the tap and laughter came from the other side. Lilly was teasing me by throwing me off with a tap on the wrong shoulder and then fingers pushing into my butt craCK to get me going with her game.

“How come you’re ignoring me?,” she inquired sharply. “What? I’m not. I thought you were ignoring me and you wanted to be left alone.” “Did I say I wanted to be left alone?” “NO, it just seemed you must have wanted to because you didn’t look at me when I walked in and... , “ I hung my head, “I’m used to that.” She continued to casually twirl grope my anus which didn’t distract me, yet. My focus was entirely on her treatment of me as though I was the guilty party. “And I’m the ONLY one who is naked NOW.”

Lilly kept massaging my anus more intently and finally got my complete attention which made my erection curl up stiffer with a real twang. “I feel kind of hurt. I thought that you would sneak up and give me a kiss this morning.” “You wouldn’t mind?” “Mind? I slept with you last night with your penis between my legs. Doesn’t that mean anything? We’re not exactly strangers.” She laughed like she was enjoying herself and her added fingers plied my anus twisting deeper. I suddenly was taken with that and I really stretched and bent over with a moan as my wonderful crazy penis let fly.

I stopped still, looked down and felt stupid, ashamed. I was caught in the moment, my middle now aroused-focused on what she was doing to me. I felt like I was being disciplined by a parochial master, perhaps a nun in a very erotic way using her oaken pointer to stick up my butt in front of fellow students. “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I don’t know how to act.” “NO! I’m sorry for teasing you. You are a sweety-sensitive one aren’t you? I shouldn’t pick on you until we know each other better. Hug me and give me a smile.”

I kept looking down at my penis and its stimulated movements. Her hand was working steadily as she talked advancing that paralysis feeling in my mid section. She was a multi-tasker running her drill and I was mesmerized, breathing way harder. “OOOooh GAWD!”

My penis was running a steady stream of gizem with only an occasional spurt interrupting the flow. I can’t put into words completely how that felt but it got the attention of the guys.

She pulled her hand leaving a kind of vacuum like absence inside me as it came out so quickly and she wrapped her arms around as I rose on my toes with that urge like I needed to poop. That made me shudder, her hand exiting my anus, and she nuzzled me with her mouth along the side of my neck, breathed hot breath in my ear. “OH! OH!”

I breathed a heavy sigh as I moved my head aside to make room for her advances. She kissed me again and again and it made me dizzy, my body fuzzy all over with her touching. Then her hand slipped in again effortlessly and I got a bigger erection, suddenly, of course, energy gripping with that rising feeling coursing stronger.

“I love your penis; you know that don’t you. It’s so responsive.”

“Now, after we finish milking you are going to work outside with the son and the old man. Then, this afternoon, I’m going to show you how to clean the milk house and the lesson is going to be quite detailed. We’re going to have fun.”

I looked into her eyes and the intent I saw was meaning she and I were going to spend some one on one time together and it wasn’t all about work. I imagined her sitting on me again like in bed last night, my penis pressed up hard against her and I seemed to know it needed to enter her space in a warm and wonderful place. I got so much more aroused with the idea I actually touched her hips and pressed myself to her willfully, courageously. And Lilly seemed not to be bothered in sharing that gizem pumped between us as we hugged and was smeared all over her clothes.

That was it. She went back to work with just one wink at me after she purposely bent me over and gestured, nodded for the guys to take turns moving in behind to poke me. They unzipped as I waited there with my rock hard erection sticking way out, further, and just felt the glow as it dribbled with spurts on the walkway.

I’d reveled in feeling Lilly on me and I stretched my arms at length to wrap my hands clasped behind my head, stayed that way dreaming for a minute, penis continuing to ejaculate far more as they took turns poking me in my ass more and more aggressively.

What an awesome feeling, the united energies. It was way strange yet perfect. Humping penises less intrusive than Lilly’s arm up inside me I had no idea if I should be disturbed for being poked in the anus one after the other by the guys but Lilly implied it was important. They’d dropped everything they were doing and busied themselves doing me as all closed in around touching to watch. This was an important part of my summer job on a dairy.

I was jerked aware by Vern bumping into me, not poking but almost knocking me off my feet. I stood up and really felt dumb as I noticed all were looking at my crazy big active erection with grins on their faces. “NICE BONER TOM!,” said Reggie. “You need to find a place to stick that into,” noted Virgil, laughing. “That’s a good one, juicin’! Maybe YOU should fuck a cow.” “N-O-O-o-o!,” said Lilly. “STOP that Virgil!” Lilly totally approved of them poking me but when the guys started teasing she reprimanded them.

I knew they wanted to watch Lilly fuck me, mysterious first sex in life, whatever it entailed, but it wasn’t going to be during morning milking. That was okay. I didn’t relish the idea of being surrounded with men watching the virgin learning what sexual intercourse was about. They’d already seen enough, done enough, still embarrassing for yours truly.

I truly wished Lilly would show me those important points in private so I could act like I knew what I doing, at least a little when I was called upon to fuck for others. I wanted to know what I was doing, me - naked, probably bent over showing off my anus to the general public and probably being anus fucked by who knows, like the new norm.

We were somewhat finished with milking and I was thinking breakfast, relishing it while bent over washing a cow. Lilly came up to me from behind and put one hand through my crotch, massaging my balls, gently, so warm, her other hand, holding me by my stomach. It was a shock but felt so good. “Time for your bath,” she said. “Oh-oh?,” I said. “What do you mean?” I began to turn around remembering the last time she told me that. As soon as I got almost face to face with her I was doused with a bucket of that soap stuff and it was slippery and slimy all over. I grabbed my glasses and one of the guys ran away, laughing.

“This will be the last of your initiation Tom,” said Lilly. “And I want you to be good and clean for the milk house work later.” All the four guys started laughing. “Now he’s going to get it.”

Immediately Lilly pushed me in and flat, up under the stanchion pipes, laid on the concrete on my back as she rubbed more soap all over me. At first it was alarming but soon it was magic. I’d retired from wanting to get away from her as she focused oodles of stuff up around my erection, massaging, bending it slippery back against my stomach, squeezing my balls slowly over and over again, letting my penis spring back into her grip as I watched intently and moaned with that feeling. I knew I was ejaculating but couldn’t tell how much with all the mess of goo she was applying. Simultaneously she was probing my anus and I wasn’t afraid to express my love. I adored her. “OooOOOOooooouew,” she really knew what she was doing and I started to writhe and gasp with each ejaculation gaining strength. It was making my toes curl.