My Astute Barrel of Knowledge
Copyright© 2019 by Charlie for now
Chapter 1
Romantic Sex Story: Chapter 1 - Romance and Caribbean intrigue. Man finds girl, falls in love, they find another girl, they all fall in love, another girl finds them, falls in love, etc., etc., etc. No, never mind the etceteras. That was enough. Sounds easy, but it gets a bit complicated. Quite complicated. This story is purely fictional, although it follows the plot line of some recent news events. Enjoy, please.
Caution: This Romantic Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa Ma/ft ft/ft Fa/ft Consensual Fiction Crime Humor Polygamy/Polyamory
I stopped my rental car about 300 yards down the road from the civil aviation gate at the airport just after departing there, headed for town. What I saw was different, to say the least. Especially here.
“What’s a thirteen-year-old girl doing out here in the rain? You a runaway? Your mom and dad drop you off hoping you wouldn’t find your way home? Like an unwanted kitten? Sorry. Maybe not funny. Not a lot of places for you to find shelter at the back gate of an airport in Alabama. Can I be of some assistance?”
“I’m seventeen, not thirteen, and I dress like this to tempt and attract men who are infatuated with younger girls. Men like you. Horny men that think with their dicks and their money.”
“Back off with the accusations, honey-bunch. I didn’t try to seduce you, hire you, or in any other way worm my way into your hold, you petulant little brat. I asked if you needed help. I’m sorry for trying to be funny. You look like you haven’t eaten in a couple of days, haven’t slept in a week, and haven’t bathed or done your hair in much longer than that. I’m just trying to help you out here.”
“Sorry. I guess after the last couple months, I’m a bit defensive. I’m healthy, and clean, but the rain and the humidity are ruining my makeup and making my hair a frizzy mess. I am a bit hungry, though. Breakfast was pretty early this morning.”
“Oh. Good to know, I guess. Want some help and we can talk?” She nodded. “I promise to be good and not take advantage of you, if you’ll let me give you that. First though, let’s trade names. I’m Charlie. Charles Cantrell.”
“Jackie. Jacqueline Hanson.”
“Where are you from, Jackie?”
“Des Moines. Can’t go back, though.”
“Come on. Get in. I promise to be a good boy, if you’ll be a nice girl. You aren’t armed, are you?”
She smiled as she threw her bags into the back seat and climbed into the front next to me. “No. Not so lucky. If I had a gun, there’d be two dead bodies on the pavement back there and I would be in a hotel right now. One of the pilots tried to get a bit nasty with me when we landed. He wasn’t very nice about it. The quote gentleman from California unquote that drugged me the other night was going to help him until the man I was to be let off with stopped them both. I would have tried to go off with that other guy if I had killed the bastards,” she smiled, “but I really don’t want anything to do with any of those people anymore. Smarmy crowd, in my opinion.”
“Wow. So, you were just on one of those planes?”
“Not one of those. The one I was on dropped me and another guy off and left. Probably headed for Washington, D.C. The swamp, I think The Donald calls it. I understand more about what he means, now.”
“Sounds like there is a lot more to this story. I have an idea, and I want you to think about it, then I can figure out what to do for you, OK?”
“Sure.”
“First though, why hang around here?”
“Money. There is money here. That airplane you just got out of means you have money. You can help me. I can trade services, personal services, for that help if I need to, but I know which end of the economy can get me where I need to be. I made a terrible mistake, but it’s too late to un-ring any bells, and I can only move on from here. I choose to move forward and look up.
“Mr. Cantrell, last April I applied for a summer job in Aruba. The money they were offering was good and free round-trip airfare, housing and meals were provided. $20 an hour plus tips. I was sixteen. My parents had a shit fit and told me if I went, not to come back. Hindsight is 20-20. They told me it was probably not on the up and up. My hindsight is 20-20. Their foresight was 20-20. I don’t even want to call them for help. I love them, I just don’t want to face them. As a matter of fact, I don’t know that they’d answer the phone, knowing it was me. I’ll let them know I’m alive and well at some point. I’m seventeen now, and if I can somehow get my feet on the ground and finish high school, I might just be able to recover.”
“What were you doing there?”
“Party hostess at a private resort, I think is what it wound up being called. The application was for event hostess and waitress at a private resort. Yeah, right. A fucking whore, Mr. Cantrell. I went down the end of May. For two months I wound up being a fucking prostitute. Literally. I have well over nine thousand dollars on me. Tips are pretty good for a sixteen-year-old girl fucking a businessman from California, and they’re even better for riding a politician from New York, or European royalty, to a noisy come.”
“Wow. How did you get away?”
“I asked to come home. I was fine with what I was doing for a while, Mr. Cantrell...”
“Charlie, Jackie. Just Charlie, for now.”
“OK, Charlie. I was willing and able for a while, but one of the men drugged me, the one I just mentioned, and I told the owner I couldn’t stand for that. I’ll have a drink now and then, but drugs suck. I asked him to send me home. He tried to talk me out of it, but I refused. That was yesterday. This morning I was put on the plane and was dropped off here with Congressman Will ... Ooops. Never mind that. Anyway, he’s the one that intervened and kept me from getting assaulted.
“I’ve been outside this gate for a total of two hours, sitting on my suitcases and praying someone else would come out of there and stop to help before the guard saw me and called the police. Like I said, Charlie, I went willingly, stayed on my own, willingly, promised to keep my mouth shut, and made a bunch of money. I was given clothes and jewelry I would never be able to afford on my own. I also had a lot of fun, at first, but I wouldn’t do it again for any amount of money. Sex just for having sex, or as in my case, for ‘tips’ (she airquoted), is kind of like eating ice cream, or a good steak. It might be really good, but it gets old after a while. Especially the ice cream.” She cracked a small smile.
“Wow.”
“What’s this idea you mentioned? I’m looking for options. Anything but Des Moines sounds pretty good right now, and I need to finish school and get started on my future.”
“Let’s get you cleaned up, dry, and fed, then we can see if I can be of assistance. I have a feeling you are a good person, down deep. What kind of grades were you getting last year?”
“As and Bs. I’m good at math and science, but not so good with history and writing and stuff. English is OK, but I’m better at analyzing the structure than I am structuring my own. Did that make sense?”
“Completely. You’ll make a wonderful engineer, chemist, or doctor but a lousy playwright.”
“Yes! Finally, a boy that understands me!” She laughed.
I chuckled and shook my head, seeing the humor in it, and hearing the mirth in her voice, causing her to look over at me as I drove up the highway. I glanced at her and noticed something I thought was profound. My expression changed and it must have set her back a bit.
“Sorry, Charlie. I should have said, ‘Finally, a man that understands me.’ My bad.”
“NO! Not at all, hon. That wasn’t where my face came from. When you looked at me, I noticed your eyes. They’re gorgeous. Pull your hoodie back, Jackie.” She pulled it back and pulled her hair out from inside the damp lightweight fleece jacket she was wearing. Her frizzy red hair, down past her shoulders, got my attention. “You have beautiful eyes and your hair really sets them off. You’re a very pretty girl, Jackie. I’m glad nothing nefarious happened to you while you were down there. I’ll share a couple of horror stories with you, if you’re interested. You were lucky to be in the company of whoever it was you were with.”
“I know. I’ve heard. The senator’s wife told me that a girl accepted a job like this in the Virgin Islands and wound up as a tribal fuck toy for ISIS somewhere in Syria. She said not to do it again, then finished me off with her tongue. She was a nice old lady. I promised her I wouldn’t do it again after I went home. She was fun. She had a thing for young girls, too, I guess. Believe it or not, I have her card in my stuff. She hugged me that night and told me if I ever needed anything to think about calling her. Scary thought: what I know, who I know, and that they let me come home. I just thought about that.”
“Interesting that you should just think of that, now, while sitting in a car with a strange man, in a strange town.”
“I’m just turned seventeen, Charlie. I’m not some astute barrel of knowledge and understanding. I just want to get away from my past. That’s all. If I don’t give anyone a reason to care about me, they shouldn’t care about me. Anyway, I have to take a chance on you now. I can’t just sit on the side of the road and die. All the money in the world won’t help me in the middle of nowhere, no phone, no car. On the bright side, you certainly don’t seem to be my worst-case scenario, as they say.”
“Good way to look at it, for now. Come on. We’re here.” I was able to get my reservation changed to two adjoining king rooms, so we went up and put our stuff in them. “I’m leaving my side open, Jackie. Get cleaned up for dinner and we’ll go find something to eat. Anything you can’t do?”
“I’m pretty flexible, Charlie. You have no idea how rich people eat and what I’ve been exposed to. They eat all kinds of crazy stuff.”
“Jackie, that jet back there was mine. Not my company’s. Mine.” I laughed. “But I understand. I had ramens for a snack last Saturday night. That’s pretty crazy. I know how pompous people eat and show off and do pompous things. You’ll find I’m not a pompous ass. I may remind you more of the Senator’s wife than the Senator.”
“Interesting. Give me a bit and you can feed me then, Richie Rich.”
“Richie? Not Charlie?”
“Charlie Rich is a real person. Or was at least. Maybe still is. Richie Rich is the rich kid in the comic books. I was kidding. Next time I’ll warn you. Sheesh!!”
That got me to laugh. She was cute, and funny, and I was so uptight I missed it. Something to think about.
An hour later, she came through the adjoining door in a violet sundress and white high heels. She looked twice the age she did when I found her. Absolutely gorgeous.
“I’m trying the other attraction method since the little girl thing didn’t work for you.”
“They both worked, Jacqueline. You are a stunningly cute, pretty little girl and at the same time, or more accurately an hour later, still a beautiful woman. Trust me on that. I think I remember, however, promising to be a good boy, so I’ll hush now.”
“You did promise. I appreciate that and I’ll keep it in mind. Ready?”
We went to Texas de Brazil, about a block away. I figured she’d mentioned ice cream and steak, so we could have steak and then some ice cream. I was trying to play it safe, if only in my mind. It worked famously, and she was happy with the choice. It was within walking distance of the Battle House Renaissance Hotel, and she had no problems in her high heels as we walked together. She hooked her hand on my arm, a nice, friendly gesture, but kept her distance at a couple of inches so as not to project intimacy. Interesting, to say the least. I had a funny feeling in the two months she was working in Aruba, she was able to learn a lot about how to put a man at ease and not be pushy, yet be there for him. Catching flies with honey and all that.
The walk was comfortable for both of us, evidently. A conversation flowed continuously, not ending until we were in the hotel bar hours later.
It started over dinner. Salads had us talking about her parents, their strict religious attitudes and overbearing rules and her wanting to get away from that. I explained about not having my parents anymore, losing them to an auto accident involving a drunk man in a big truck not too long ago.
Bacon wrapped filet medallions, sautéed mushrooms, and seasoned mashed potatoes had us talking about our educations, and how she wanted to finish high school and go to college, not sure yet which of the non-liberal arts careers to follow. Her grin was contagious. She asked about mine and I told her of graduating with my mechanical engineering degree and spending about eight years flying planes for my rich uncle’s airline. Her questioning look had me explaining that when I was commissioned into the Air Force, my aptitude for flying was high, but I was a bit too wide and tall for fighters, and my demeanor fit well with commuter and passenger aircraft. So, I spent a couple of years learning to fly, then a couple passing gas, she grinned at that, air to air refueling flying in tankers, the explanation causing a giggle, then four years flying people around in little jets similar to the one I owned now.
The ice cream with hot fudge on it found us discussing the option of me taking her home with me and her trying to live her life with a strange man that really appreciated the offer, but didn’t need her ‘personal services’ in trade for what he was offering.
We walked back to the hotel, this time hand in hand, instead of arm in arm. Her hand felt good. As we walked, I could feel comfort. I had no explanation for it. None. I sat her at a table in the bar then brought us over a drink, her a hot chocolate with Bailey’s and me a coffee with American Honey.
“I certainly do appreciate your offer, Charlie. I also appreciate the declining of my reciprocal offer. I don’t want to be that anymore. I don’t want to screw for a living. I didn’t want to then. It just happened, and I was overtaken by events. It’s over now, though. I want to go back to just being a girl. A young woman. A student. I’m probably still not ready for all that other stuff. There’s a possibility that no one is. Ever.” She paused for a bit, rotating her cup around, just pondering it. “Thank you, Charlie, for the offer. Can I just say yes now, after only a short time, and try it?”
“I’d like that Jackie. You’re a nice girl. I can tell that. Maybe a bit off course for a few months, but a nice girl with a good attitude. I’m pretty good with women. Not good with them, exactly. I normally get tongue tied and can’t talk well, can’t form coherent sentences and all, when confronted by a pretty woman, but I mean around them. I can tell a nice person, male or female, from an evil one, and can pick out a crook, a shyster, or a gold digger in a heartbeat.
“You aren’t a gold digger, Jackie. I don’t think so, even though you admit you waited outside the airfield because that’s where the money is. I understand your motivation for that. Don’t take advantage of me, and I’ll see you through this. Keep me company with your beautiful eyes and pretty smile, and I’ll be at your side to help you reach your immediate goals.”
“Keep you company?”
“Over breakfast, dinner, laundry, and all that. I’m not asking for your body, Jacqueline, just your smile and your wit.”
“My wit? Oh. OK. I like that idea.”
“Come on. I need to get to bed. I have a meeting in the morning. I didn’t come here to pick up strays and talk little girls into going home with me. I actually have a job and a company to run.”
She smiled at me. “I’ll ask about that tomorrow, OK?”
“Sure, but there’s not much to tell. I build stuff and sell stuff. It’s not like I’m a professional baseball player or something exciting. No, hon, my job is not exciting.” She took my hand again and we walked to the elevators.
Once we were at the rooms, she hesitated, looking up at me, not letting go of my hand. The look on her face indicated that she had made some sort of a decision or come to some realization. The lightbulb over the head look, like in the comics, maybe. She used her keycard, opened her door and pulled me into her room. She walked me over to the adjoining door, opened her side, and since mine was already open, walked me into my room. Standing in front of me, she looked up and took my face in her hands.
“Thank you for dinner, Charlie. Thank you for your offer. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you.” She pulled me down by my cheeks and kissed me softly. It warmed me. The kiss warmed me to my center. “Good night.” She turned and left me standing there wondering what just happened. That, I think, was the first time I realized she was so small, so fragile, so cute. In her high heels, she was still six inches shorter than me. But it was the warmth from her kiss I was thinking of when I fell asleep.
The alarm pulled me from a deep sleep at about seven, but I took one trip around the inside of my eyelids with the snooze button delay. The second time I opened my eyes, she was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at me. She smiled, getting one in return from me.
“Mornin’, glory. Did my alarm wake you?”
“No, I was awake both times I heard it. Good morning to you, too. Are you ... Are we staying here tonight or what kind of schedule do we have?”
“Yes, here tonight, leaving tomorrow. I’ll be busy at least until well into the afternoon or early evening, then I’ll come back here, we’ll find something to eat, get a good night’s sleep and fly home in the morning. Sound good?”
“Yes. Yes, it does. There’s a shopping center down the road and I can keep myself busy for the most part.”
“Do you need any money?”
“Thanks, but as I mentioned, I have nine grand and change in my bag. I’ll handle it this time. Charlie, what’s your favorite color?”
“It used to be blue, but with your red hair and gorgeous bright eyes, that may change. I can tell you’d be absolutely adorable in green.”
“Mine is blue, too. Go to work. I’ll see you this afternoon.” She leaned over and kissed me again, with her hands on my cheeks. The warming feeling was back. With a vengeance.
I managed my way out of bed, into the shower, and got dressed for the meetings and quality inspections. It was tough keeping my mind on business, but I did. Our subcontractor in Mobile was making a circuit board for us that had a little mechanism attached. We were fortunate we found them, or they found us, during the bid process. It was a small company that subbed to another sub-contractor we’d used before here in Mobile. They weren’t the low bidder but could start right away since they already had most everything set up and didn’t have to change much to prepare their production line. With their efforts, we would be able to deliver sooner, and that would make my contracting officer, and the project officer, both very happy. Not to mention the people in boots that needed the little doodad we were making. Enough of that. Everything was on track and we’d get delivery of the first forty units a bit ahead of our schedule, which was WAY before the official schedule.
I walked into the lobby of the Battle House and coincidentally saw my new roommate approaching the elevators with a few bags in her hands. She looked like a million dollars in her tailored blouse, miniskirt and high heeled pumps.
“Hold that elevator, young lady,” I yelled as the doors opened.
She turned to see me, a beautiful smile blooming from her beautiful face. I took the bags as we stepped into the car and as the doors closed, she reached up, taking my cheeks in her hands and pulled me down for a kiss.
“God, you’re gorgeous.”
“Thank you. Have a good day, Charlie?”
“Yes, hon, I did. Very good. Good meeting, good news, and the future is bright. How about you?”
“Excellent. It started very nicely, I found some nice things, and I just kissed a really nice man. My future appears bright as well.”
The doors opened and we stepped out of the elevator, me following her down the hall to the rooms. She used her keycard, since my hands were full, then led me to her bed and took the bags from me to put there. She made sure not to let me see in any of them, then smiled at me, pushing me to the other room. Once she had me in mine, she told me to clean up and try to look nice, if I had anything that fit that description. “Give me about an hour,” she said. She did the kiss thing again, and smiling, she walked out. The kiss created a warmth that lasted through my shower and my getting dressed for dinner. I had some slacks and a sports coat, so I wouldn’t be going out too awfully casually dressed. I knocked on her door not believing my eyes as to who answered.
She was wearing a royal blue tailored shirtdress, in silk. It fit her slim, petite hourglass figure like a second skin yet looked soft and hung lightly like good silk always does. A diamond necklace graced her upper chest, just over her cleavage, which was quite substantial. I honestly hadn’t noticed her bust prior to this. I took in all five foot eight or so inches of her in the sky-high blue leather sandals adorning her stockinged feet. She was at the very least a walking dream. She had her hair up perfectly and looking every bit the socialite ready for a night at the gala of the year. She reached out for my face again, and the prettiest woman I had ever met pulled me down for another warming kiss. Jacqueline Hanson finished stealing my heart the second evening I took her out for dinner. I would be a good boy, but I would pray she would let me into her life. Just thirty-six hours after I had met this woman, I knew. I knew I wanted her.
She had located a club where we could eat, then stay for music afterwards, and maybe dance a little. A carnal education was not the only thing she’d picked up in Aruba. She’d been exposed to the finer things in life while she was there, evidently. Using my name for reservations, she had us all set up so that when we arrived the hostess took us to a nicely located table and made us feel like royalty. She ordered for both of us, drinks, salads, meals, and all, making sure I didn’t have to suffer through beef two nights in a row. She was truly a little wonder.
I don’t remember ever having a better time, and to be honest, this wasn’t my first date. It wasn’t even my first date in Mobile, come to think of it, but that was a while back and doesn’t deserve the rehashing of any specifics. I’ve only been out of the service for a couple of years, but the first trip here after I’d left and taken over the company, I met a girl at a different hotel, and we went out. It came to nothing. She was one of the gold diggers I had spoken to Jackie about. She doesn’t have my number, my address, and my name is not as unique as I thought it might be. Suffice to say she wasn’t quite who she said she was.
Since I was a young man, a boy, in fact, I’d had many dates, come to think of it. I’d always been single, so when the opportunity came up during my travels in the military, and even afterwards, I’d go out and spend time with the fairer sex. I’d even met a few women with whom I’ve gone on to have ‘sexual relations’, as Brother Bill called them, but I’d never met one that projected the attitude, personality, and, I hate to say loyalty, that I desired, needed, and required in a lasting, monogamous, permanent, child bearing, no condom relationship. I wasn’t a virgin, but I’d never gone out to a party without a raincoat.
We talked more, danced, talked more, and the more we talked, the more I knew I was making the right choice in offering this young woman a part of my life. I felt it deep down inside. After hours together, we were back at the rooms, and again, she pulled me through hers, to mine, and backing me up to my bed, told me to sit. Standing between my knees, she hugged my head to her tummy, then held my cheeks and kissed me. When she let go, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her to me with my hands on the backs of her thighs, pulling her to me, the side of my head pressing into her abdomen.
“Thank you, Charlie. Again, thank you for everything.”
“No need, doll. My pleasure. We’ll be leaving at about one o’clock tomorrow afternoon headed for home. If there is anything you’d like to do in the morning, or...”
“I don’t need anything, Charlie. What I wanted to do, I did today. It evidently worked. Good night, sir.” She kissed the top of my head and walked out.
The warmth from the kisses built and adding the one on my head, I felt flushed. I could blame it on the two drinks I’d had, but I won’t. This little girl is affecting me. Tremendously. Deeply.
Morning came and again, after a go ‘round with the snooze button, I opened my eyes the second time to take in the beautiful woman I took to dinner last night. This time I noticed she was in a green chemise with black lace trim. It just barely stopped at the tops of her thighs. Her legs were gorgeous.
“Good morning, Charlie.” She leaned down and kissed me.
“Jacqueline...”
“How do I always know you are going to say something profound when you use my name like that, Charlie?”
“Probably because you ARE that astute barrel of knowledge you claim not to be. Jacqueline, your kisses warm me. Be careful with me, please. I’ve never felt that before. You’re not the first woman to kiss me. You are, however, only the first woman that affects me this way. Again, please be careful. I’m not as strong as I look.”
“Likewise, Mr. Cantrell. You aren’t the only one feeling a little magic. We need to talk about something serious, then we can get back to the fantasy world where you would like to take me home and make me your cute little girlfriend. I’m going to want to see a doctor when we get wherever we are going. I also need you to know that I just turned seventeen. Just week before last. Don’t let that cause you any problems. I don’t care. I’ve been with...”
“Jackie, I understand. No need to explain, unless you feel the need to talk. I can surmise from the few conversations we’ve had about your last couple of months that you’ve been with men older than me. Maybe younger than me.” She shook her head. “OK, maybe not. In any case, let’s forget about Jacqueline Hanson’s past and work on her future. Would you like that?”
She nodded. “Very much so. I really thought I was going to be a waitress and a hostess at a hotel or something. I did what I did, after I knew what was going on, but that wasn’t my original intention. In any case, thank you. We’ll do it your way.”
“Good. By the way, Jackie, I was right about you in green. Devastatingly adorable. I’m going to get dressed, then we can eat and pack and be on our merry way.” She giggled and shook her head. “What’s wrong. No desire to be merry?”
Jackie laughed and replied, “I’m having enough trouble just being Jackie.” She kissed me again, shooting warmth down through my knees and left.
I’m so sunk if she doesn’t like me.
I took care of business, showered, shaved, and was almost dressed. As I was pulling my shirt on, finishing up dressing, she knocked and entered. Again, I was a bit in awe. She was wearing white short shorts, a light blue T top, and stiletto high heeled strappy natural leather sandals. Her little necklace highlighted her scrumptious neck. She was, in my eyes, perfection. She was also tanned. Not always the norm for redheads, but she looked like she had a bit of a nice tan. That was another thing I hadn’t noticed before, but now, as one after another view of her shook my senses, I saw it plain as day. It might have helped that I had the room curtains wide open, the sun was finally shining, and she was under completely different lighting, as well. Nah, I’ll stick with the infatuation theory.
She held her hand out for mine and off we went for breakfast in the hotel café. We talked some more about the future, her going back to school and such. She asked about where I lived and being in town, mostly, she shouldn’t have much of a problem. I asked about records and documents and all, so she volunteered that with her passport, birth certificate, social security card, and driver’s license, she didn’t think she’d have too much trouble getting around or getting back into school.
We talked about getting her records transferred from Des Moines and seeing a doctor, then she shared that she had an IUD installed before she even knew about the job in Aruba. She had a boyfriend that said he was serious, but after he took her virginity, he took her best friend’s, ruining all three’s relationships with each other and pretty much turning Jackie’s mind off relationships of any kind. “Hence the job in Aruba. Away from everything and everyone I knew and thought I cared about. It was funny, Charlie. I actually cared more for Alice than I did for Rick but didn’t know it until I had lost them both. It’s funny now. It wasn’t then. That warm thing you talked about last night? I had that with Alice. Not with Rick. I misunderstood what it meant then. It doesn’t matter now. If she felt the same about me, she wouldn’t have screwed my boyfriend. All in the past. As I have previously implied, onward and upward from here.”
“True that. Let’s go up and pack and go home, Jackie. I hope this works out for you. I really like you. I do.”
She smiled and took my hand. “I hope so, too, Charlie. I truly do. You seem ... Never mind. It’s mushy. We’ll talk later.” I nodded, hoping she was going to say I seemed nice or something. Off we went.
The flight home was short and sweet. She sat next to me in the co-pilot’s seat, watching and listening as I made adjustments, talked on the radio, raised and lowered the landing gear, while all the time letting her know what I was doing. She seemed interested, so I figured it would keep her occupied. Spending all that time talking about exes and such isn’t fun for anyone. Even I know that, and I’ve never had a serious one.
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