Kat in the Hat (If Seuss wrote for adults)

She shiffled by, a glance I see,
A glance, a look, a glance at me.
Her eyes, they glinkled. Her nose, it winkled.
She plerked her lips, I almost tinkled.

“Hey, hot stuff, I’m Kat”, she said.
“You look persleet and very gled.”
“Persleet?” I asked, I seemed bedinkled.
“Persleet, and gled, and a bit descrinkled.”

“Miss Kat, your hat looks like a schlong,
A lot like mine, but mine is long.”
“It’s long?” she asked. Her lips upsnicked.
“It’s long,” I answered. “Long, and thick.”

“If long it is, then I must see.
A long, thick schlong is right for me.”
“If long and thick you must bespeckle,
Then come and we can play and schneckle.”
“Play and schneckle, quwiss and dwall?”
“Schneckle, quiss, we’ll do it all.”

We fleeted quickly to my bed,
De-draped our clothes and squinked our heads.
Kat stood and snovered over me,
She shook, and breasted boobily.
Kat breasted left, she breasted right,
She boobily breasted most the night.

I schlid my schlong along her belly,
It schlicked and schlimed like looberry jelly.
Into her chunnel it quinkly slipped,
It fit like plinsel, it fit, it fit!

We plummeled slow, we plummeled fast,
We plummeled long because I last.
She skrincked a song of joyness full,
Her song did rise, because I rule.

With smiles aglow and all a twizzer,
Kat wrapped her clothes and seemed aquiver.
“Your schlong is perfect and fits me nicely,
We must this do, at least once nightly.”

She plerked her lips, her hat she placed,
Kat’s schlongy hat, she primted and placed,
And with a glink, her eyes, they twinkled.
“Until next time,” she left with a winkle.
Kat glinked and plerked, I smiled with glee.
“Until next time, again with me!”