Chapter 2: Tuesday Morning, 11:55AM

“Are you done yet?” asked Alaina, tapping her finger against the armrest on her door.

“Hold on, just...” Ayanna trailed off as a fit of laughter interrupted her. “So you taste like blueberries,” she wheezed. “And you said your Quirk was gonna make him taste great to you. Which means it’s gotta be...” she trailed off again, coughing and laughing.

“I’ll have you know that last night, his kisses tasted like the best strawberry cheesecake ever.”

Somehow that made Ayanna laugh even harder. “Oh, so it’s only his cum that tastes like pistachio ice cream? And you’ve got a fuckin’ dessert buffet over there?”

Alaina rolled her eyes, suppressing a chuckle. It’s not that funny.

“Next you’re gonna tell me ... I don’t even know,” Ayanna said between laughs. “It’s at the point where nothing feels like it could be too ridiculous. Tomorrow you’ll come up to me and say you went down on Will and it blew his mind so hard that you can cure diseases by fucking them away.” She laughed even harder at the idea.

Alaina stared at her friend. That wasn’t exactly the order of it...

After few moments, Ayanna noticed. “Wait, wait, wait. Now you’ve gotta be fuckin’ with me.”

Alaina licked her lips. “Well, I’m not going to say that one caused the other, but I wish I’d taken a picture of his face after. I thought I was going to call an ambulance he was so out of it.”

“But now you can cure diseases by fucking them away.”

“For Will, yeah. Though I guess it doesn’t even have to be sex, I think a kiss would be enough?”

“A, it’s not funny anymore.”

“Give me your water for a sec.”

Ayanna handed over her bottle of water with only a little hesitation.

Alaina held it for a moment before handing it back.

“What the fuck, A? You got an ice maker in your hand?”

“Something like that.”

“Okay, okay. Deep breaths. This is a lot, A.”

“If it makes you feel better, I got that one at forty. I think the really insane ones started around seventy. The ones that are ... Y’know, um, not really human anymore? But it’s sort of neat, isn’t it?” Alaina looked over at her friend hopefully.

“Okay, but you’re still like ... You’re still Alaina, right? It’s still you?”

Alaina arched an eyebrow. “Who else would I be?”

“Right. Okay. Sorry, this is—I mean—Wow. I’m gonna need more time to wrap my head around all this. Let’s talk about something I can maybe have a shot at holdin’ up my side of the conversation on. You got any new Quirks I need to know about?”

Alaina pondered for a bit. “There’s a few new ones.”

“A few? A, you know most people only have, at most, one. Maybe two if they’ve Class changed. How many do you have now?”

“Um ... Six?”

“Oh, fuck. After how bad the first couple were ... Well, at least the not-moving-during-sex one changed to the flavored lube one? Which also isn’t something that happens. How bad are the new ones?”

“Not ... Not that bad? Probably? They’re more weird than bad. Um, they’re actually pretty embarrassing...” How did I not notice these before? Ugh...

“C’mon, A, you promised me no secrets on this. Let’s hear it.”

“I...” Alaina pouted. “But they’re really embarrassing, Ay.”

Ayanna grinned. “Finally, something I can wrap my head around! Now spill!”

“Ugh. Fiine.” Alaina said, grimacing. “The first one is that Will’s cum is sort of, um, addictive.”

“What, you mean like you’ve got a craving for it now?”

“No, it’s more of a like... It’s more immediate? I tasted it yesterday and suddenly it was like I had to have more. But then I was back to normal pretty quick after.”

“Wait, you mean you swallowed? A, you said you didn’t even swallow that time with Spencer! You sure you don’t have a thing for Will?”

“For the last time, Ay, I don’t. You know how much I love pistachio ice cream. That’s all it was.”

“Okay, okay. So short-term cum addiction. A little embarrassing, but not really anything on the scale of the others. What else?”

“Um,” Alaina fidgeted.

“A, what could be more embarrassing than any of the things you’ve already told me?”

Alaina mumbled again.

“C’mon, A.”

“If I take it up the butt my Class improves ten times more!” Alaina shouted, her face burning.

Ayanna blinked at her.

“Don’t you dare laugh,” said Alaina, glaring.

“I’d be a really bad friend if I laughed now, wouldn’t I?” said Ayanna, her face twitching.

“The worst.”

“If you tell me that’s the most embarrassing one then I won’t laugh. I promise.”

“ ... and it’ll feel better than anything I can imagine,” said Alaina, her eyes boring into her friend’s.

A snort escaped Ayanna’s nose. “I just need...”

“No!”

“Look, I just gotta get out of the car for one sec—”

“Ayanna!”

“—and get some fresh air,” she choked back a giggle, “and stretch my legs a little after that sand—” she bolted out of the decade-old sedan, slammed the door, and leaned against it, laughing even harder than before.

The absolute worst.

“I’m really sorry, A. But you gotta believe me. I had no choice! It was like you were twistin’ my arm behind my back telling me I had to laugh!”

“Do I know you?” Alaina sat with her arms crossed, staring out her window.

“C’mon, A.” Even without looking, Alaina could feel the mirth in her friend’s voice. “It’s funny. It’s really funny. You’ve got borderline superpowers like in comics, but somehow even the idea of anal is your kryptonite. And the funniest part is you don’t even have a reason for it! When was the last time you even thought about using a toilet? Saturday before you went to Will’s?”

“It’s not funny, Ay. And I’m still never going to do it.”

“Just because that one guy—”

“Don’t. I’m serious. Don’t bring it up.”

“Okay, okay, I know. I’m sorry, A. Look, let’s just pretend none of that happened just now. That’s five quirks, what’s the last one?”

Alaina sighed, finally turning away from the window. “The last one’s pretty tame. I have a ... One percent chance? No, a point-one percent chance that any time I go somewhere that I’ve previously had sex with Will, I’ll get horny again.”

“That’s it?”

“Yup.”

“That seems, um, pretty trivial? Am I missing something?”

“Nope, that’s it.”

“Huh. Well none of those seem too awful compared to the not-moving one you started out with, right?”

“That’s true. The flavor one feels more like it should be a Trait since it’s more beneficial than harmful.”

“Tell me about it, A. It’s so kinky, too. It changes depending on whatever you’re craving?”

“Yeah, sort of. I think it only changes his saliva? Last night at the party Tiff—she’s this unbelievably adorable girl who’s somehow one of Will’s friends—put strawberry cheesecake into my head so for the rest of the night that’s what he tasted like. In the afternoon it was just pistachio ice cream.” I should give Tiff a call. She was fun to talk to. Maybe later tonight?

“Damn, I think that’s my favorite of all your superpowers. Just imagining if Ken could taste like anything I wanted ... I don’t think we’d ever get out of bed.”

“It was a little bit of a struggle this morning,” Alaina allowed, a smile playing across her face.

“Wait, he slept over? Like, over, over? A, how did you not lead with that? A man has, for the first time in history, conquered the bed of Alaina Bishop. This is one small step for—”

“Alright, enough of that. Yeah, he slept over after we had some fun, but it was just sleep. And I think that’s why my Class’s level went up so much.” Alaina fidgeted. “I, um, well, if he’s inside me then I can use my cleaning Skill on him. So I cleaned us up after and then we fell asleep like that. And then I woke up with my Class fifty two levels higher.”

“So, like,” Ayanna gave her a skeptical look, “you’re saying you just kept suckin’ him dry over and over while you slept?”

“I guess?” Alaina shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the strangest thing my body’s done in the past week.”

Ayanna chuckled. “Yeah, true. Your description of what you remembered from Friday at the FCF sounded pretty intense. Reminded me of the time Ken and I tried ‘shrooms.”

She did what? “What the fuck, when was this?”

“Um, last year? Sometime in the fall. You were busy playing Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and barely had any time to hang out. Ken knew a guy and we planned a date around it.”

“Fuck, Ay. You should have told me.”

“Um, I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing? I mean, you always seem pretty straight edge, A—Er, unless you meant the date part? Because a threesome like that with you is—”

“Dammit, Ay, you know that’s not what I meant. But now I couldn’t try drugs even if I wanted to.”

“What?”

“Mind-altering substances. They don’t work on me anymore. Ugh. And I know.” Alaina sighed. “I wouldn’t have said yes last year even if you offered. But knowing that I can’t now is annoying.”

“Oh, I get it. If it makes you feel any better, A, we had fun but not enough fun to do it again. Ah, we better get going. You know how much of a stickler Ms. Perez is. Wanna come by after track? I’ve still got a million questions, and you never actually told me anything about last night.”

“Ugh, I would, but somehow Mom got Will to agree to come for dinner.”

“What the fuck, A, why didn’t you lead with that? It’s like you left all the juicy details out!”

Alaina blew a raspberry at her friend. “I told you all the stuff I thought was interesting first.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me any of the actually interesting stuff! C’mon, A, how are you gonna do this to me! It’s like you’re trying to torture me.”

Alaina grinned as she popped open her door, hoisting the lunch bag strap over her shoulder. “Or maybe I was just waiting to see if you’d laugh at me again.” She giggled and shut the door.

“That’s not funny, A,” said Ayanna. The taller girl scrambled out of her car in pursuit of her shorter friend who was speed-walking away. “Come back! Hey, at least tell me what you’re gonna make! Is it tuna casserole? It better not be tuna casserole!”

“Do I know him?” Alaina asked.

“Who, that big guy?”

“Yeah, he was grinning and gave me a nod like he knew me.”

Ayanna chuckled. “That’s Vinnie Smith. Basically the entire offensive and defensive lines for our football team with his bodybuilder-y Class. He’s also one of Will’s friends. Nice guy, too.”

So that’s Vinnie? Not what I expected, especially compared to Dumb and Dumber, as Tiff put it. I guess I’ll end up meeting him at—

Someone bumped into Alaina—hard—spinning her completely around and causing her to drop her Chemistry books before toppling over. The hallway cleared out around her, and foot traffic slowed as students lingered in anticipation of a conflict. Who the fuck did that?

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” Ayanna said loudly.

Alaina looked up as a taller girl with dyed-blonde hair stopped nearby and turned back to face them along with two other, shorter girls who were walking with her. The taller girl’s beautiful, light-colored face practically glowed with dismay. Oh.

“I’m so sorry, Alaina,” said Laura Jansson as she clutched at the notebooks that were pressed against her fitted sweater, unintentionally emphasizing her considerable bust. Her other hand flew to her mouth as the girl’s perfect brown eyebrows rose in concern over her widened green eyes. “Are you okay? I was a little bit distracted and didn’t see you there.”

Alaina rolled to her knees and recovered her items before regaining her feet. “Not a problem, Laura. I hope everything is all right with you!” she said with her usual smile. Wow, she’s gorgeous. And I can’t even be upset with how apologetic she seems.

“Yeah, I think maybe it will be,” said Laura, flashing a relieved smile that made Alaina’s heart beat a little faster. “Sorry again, Alaina! I’ve gotta run or I’ll be late!” She turned and continued on in the other direction, flanked by her friends who walked a step behind. Her curvy figure and swaying miniskirt-clad hips drew more than a few eyes as she passed.

I see why all the guys at school love her. Alaina continued staring after the super-senior. She only spoke a few sentences to me, and now I feel like I’ve got a girl-crush. She might be a slut, but at least she’s kind of a nice slut?

“That bitch totally saw you, A,” said Ayanna under her breath.

“What?” Alaina turned to give her friend a skeptical look.

“She did that on purpose.”

“Why would Laura Jansson go out of her way to mess with me? She’s about to graduate and leave for college. We have absolutely nothing in common.” Why am I defending her?

“I’d say it’s related to the fact that she and Will only broke up a few weeks ago. A lot of people saw you two together this morning, A.”

“Argh! For the last time, I had a flat tire and he offered to drive me the rest of the way!” This better not be Don’s work. If I see him, his first words are either going to be “I had nothing to do with it!” or he’ll regret it.

“All I know is I just watched her cut across the entire hallway and body check you while you weren’t paying attention.”

The two girls started back in the direction they’d originally been walking.

“I’m sure it was just an accident. And so what if they only broke up a couple weeks ago? I mean, look at her, she could snap her fingers and have any guy at her feet.” And most of the girls. Ugh, this is not happening to me.

“Um, A, that’s not really how relationships work. Look, I’m headin’ this way, but I’m telling you now: keep your eyes on her. That was not a friendly meeting.”

It feels weird being in classes with Will and not being desperate to fuck or kill him. Alaina was headed for the student council office following her final class of the day. But it’s a good weird. And it was fun making faces at each other behind Mr. Reilly’s back. History classes move impossibly slowly, even the advanced placement ones.