Chapter 2

Episiotomy

Bill Pierce was in his office gloating over the April reports. The Central Region had not only the highest sales of any region of Andalusia Pharmaceuticals -- which it ordinarily had -- it had the highest sales per representative. And it had the second-highest growth over the previous April.

Denise spoke over the intercom, “Your wife is on the phone.” He picked up the phone.

“Carolyn? How did the appointment go?” Her first post-delivery checkup had been scheduled for this day.

“Great. Don’t shop for take-out tonight.” Well, how great could a checkup be? It could find problems, but ‘no problems,’ while good news, was hardly grounds for celebration. On the other hand, Carolyn being ready to leave the twins long enough to go to dinner was grounds for celebration.

“You’re ready to go out? Are you going to keep the sitter?”

“Not quite. Love you.” And she hung up. He’d told Carolyn once that long conversations with one’s wife weren’t good executive behavior. She took brevity to an extreme, though. Anyway, he’d not pick up any food on the way home, which would bring him home maybe 20 minutes earlier. Now, it was time to go back to work.

At home, he got his trench coat into the living-room closet and his suit coat and tie into the bedroom closet without hearing any crying. When he got to the twins’ room, Carolyn was feeding John. She looked unfrazzled, but the babysitter was gone. Paul, in his crib, wasn’t crying, but he was wet. He changed him and put him back. When Carolyn was finished with John, she wandered out of the room. He burped John and then changed him.

By this time, appetizing odors were competing with the diaper smell. He held John until Carolyn called him to dinner. She’d prepared a feast, and they both -- for a wonder -- got to eat it without getting up.

“This is delicious.” Then, he felt guilty for implicitly putting one more demand on her overflowing stack of demands. “You shouldn’t have done it, of course, but I can appreciate your putting me back on the list of male Pierces you feed.”

“At least you say that it is good instead of crying when you don’t get it.” She was grinning. Then John cried. He went to see the problem. It was partly a wet diaper and partly that he’d had no attention for -- maybe -- 45 minutes. Seeing John getting the attention, Paul cried too. That brought Carolyn in.

“Let’s see how long I can keep them awake,” he suggested when they were both back in their cribs. He was convinced that they had both complained not of the wet diapers but of lying on their backs with nothing to do but watch a mobile. It wouldn’t have satisfied him for long, anyway.

“You think they’ll sleep tonight?” Well, no. Not the whole night. They wouldn’t get that lucky for weeks.

“Not all night, but we can use what they do.” And, for that matter, he’d enjoy their company, too. They weren’t quite up to manipulating their own rattles, yet. So, he shook one for John. He moved his finger over Paul, who felt those sensations, but hadn’t figured them out yet.

He switched after a while, and they did stay awake longer than they were used to. When Paul finally dropped off, he went out and washed dishes. The next cry was a hungry cry. Carolyn immediately answered it. He finished up in the kitchen before going in. Carolyn was feeding Paul.

“He’s nearly done,” she said. He changed John, getting the diaper off, but not the new one on, before he woke totally. They switched babies, and he burped and changed Paul. Having had an exciting day, Paul went right to sleep when he laid him in the crib. He stayed there, sitting on the changing table -- once Carolyn’s desk, until John was satisfied. Then he burped him. John, too, fell asleep. Carolyn had taken her bathroom time while he was dealing with John, and he took his immediately after. When he got to the bedroom, Carolyn was in bed and the bedside lamp was the only light.

“Turn the lamp off, will you?” she asked when he was in bed, too. Then: “Keep lying like that.” Generally, they slept on their left sides with him holding her. Now, he was on his right side. She curled into his back. He was acutely aware of her melons pressed into his back. Carolyn didn’t know what she did to him.