Chapter 1

Clever

“You sure you’ll be all right?” Bill Pierce asked Carolyn as he headed out the door on Saturday. Yeah, she was in the house alone 5 days a week, but he didn’t want to leave her when he didn’t have to.

“Don’t worry, Bill. I’m not going to run away from you. We’ll all be here when you get back.” She patted her bulging stomach. Well, he wasn’t afraid of her running away. He was afraid of her starting into labor. But, then, everyone said that lasted for hours, and he wouldn’t be gone that long.

He waited outside the classroom while Professor Kindle finished teaching. Even when classes changed, the professor stayed behind with some of the students who were arguing some abstract point. Carolyn was highly impressed with the guy, but Bill could not see anything impressive about him.

“I don’t think there is a class here this hour,” Kindle said when Bill finally went into the room.

“I came to see you, Professor Kindle. Carolyn Pierce, your student, sent this draft of her dissertation to you.” He handed it over, and Kindle put it in his briefcase. It probably wouldn’t be lost, Carolyn had told him, if it once got into the briefcase. Even so, she had a carbon and he’d taken a Xerox. “I’m her husband.”

“Yes, Mr. Pierce. I’ll look at it later when I can give it my full attention.”

Carolyn was fine when he got back. As a matter of fact, it was two more weeks before she went to the hospital.

They’d both actually been able to get showers before the boys woke up on the Sunday on which the boys’ baptism was scheduled. He was in his underwear when Paul cried. He got there before Paul woke John, shoved the nuckie in, and started to change him. He wasn’t happy, but being wiped off pacified him for a moment. Carolyn came in in her nursing bra and nothing else. He handed a temporarily dry Paul to her and went to the crib for John. He was as wet and messy as his brother had been, but not quite as awake. He shoved in another nuckie and started on the diaper. That was done long before Paul was satisfied. He played with John, snapping his fingers to one side of his face and then to the other, scratching a fingernail along the changing pad while John tried to follow the sound, grabbing a foot and then a hand.

“Are you done?” Carolyn finally said to Paul, “or do you think you’re merely taking a break? I’ve got news for you. You’re done.” On that word, he turned for Paul. He kept the back of his legs against the desk the entire time. He supported Paul’s neck with one hand and lifted him by the diaper with the other. When Paul had been laid temporarily beside his brother, it was John’s turn. Bill lifted him with the same care, turned, and put him in his mother’s arm. He didn’t let his leg move away from the edge of the desk until he was facing Paul again.

He’d had Dan’s help baby-proofing the room and moving the desk. Dan had told him that both his children had learned to roll over on the changing table while Gladys’s attention was off them for an instant. Well, if his kids were going to pull that stunt, they’d run into him. And the desk was now solidly against the wall on two sides. Accidents could happen, always, but restricting the possibilities was the part of common sense.

Paul, when he brought him closer and checked, was thoroughly wet but only slightly messy. After waiting for him to finish, he changed his diaper again. Then, using yet another diaper for a spit-cloth, he burped him. He couldn’t pretend that changing kids was pleasant, but burping was. You had a warm body against your shoulder, and he couldn’t imagine that the love in that encounter only went one way. When John was done, he laid Paul in his crib and burped John. He was -- for a wonder, and a certainly- temporary wonder -- dry.

Carolyn dressed more fully in the kids’ room while he cooked her breakfast. Then he took over baby watch while she ate and finished dressing. He cooked and ate his breakfast while she dressed the kids for their baptism. Carolyn trusted him to change diapers, but not to dress them in finery, and certainly not to choose the finery. John celebrated his beautiful costume by taking both a major dump and a monumental piss. The result overflowed the diaper, and -- when he’d changed that -- Carolyn dressed him again in a second-best suit of clothes.

Finally, the kids were in their carriers with a blanket tucked around each and another blanket draped over each entire carrier. Carolyn waited with them while he got the car. Leaving the heater on high and the back door open seemed wasteful, but he met her in the entranceway and took one of the boys -- he hadn’t noticed who was covered by that blanket.

He helped her offload at the church and then drove to find a parking space. When he got to the front of the church, the choir and several others were gathered around the kids.

“Wasn’t it clever of her to have twins?” One of the female singers asked. “Now, when Bill is holding a baby, she has one to hold herself.” Really, he’d never keep a baby from Carolyn -- let alone that she had the guaranteed access of breast-feeding.