Chapter 30: Isekai Life & Stolen Landscape

It was extremely boring.

Sitting there, talking as little as possible, waiting for hours.

Or at least what seemed like hours.

Finally, there was a sharp rapping on the door, one that got all of us (except Calliope and Bekker) scrambling up to our feet as quietly as possible.

“Hey, old man! Is Thronric in there with you? How long does it take to check for some stupid rats?”

All our eyes (except Calliope’s) descended on the old butler.

He cleared his throat. “Some of these casks are quite heavy, sir! Young Thronric is just helping move them about so we can check for ratholes!”

“Ratholes? He ought to have better things to do than-!”

The door opened, revealing a greasy, twentysomething man in mail, with a broadsword strapped to his waist. I’m not sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t three armed people with sword, spear and mace pointed at him.

This time, though, the man was too canny for Enna’s surprise attack. When she leapt at him from behind one of the crates, he was able to dodge back and draw his weapon.

“Intruders! Intruders in the basement!”

Enna cursed. “Well, a’right, looks like we’re goin’ loud!”

She leapt forward with another stab, this time catching the knight in the armpit with a shallow cut. Katriana was quick to follow suit, but the man parried with a clang that was deafening in these close quarters. Voss came it with his spear them, and the knight sidestepped ... straight into a full, two-handed mace swing from Ashryn. Her mace collided with his head with a gut-wrenching crunch, but to his credit the man did not fall.

The knight’s counterswipe was clumsy and ineffective, and he overextended himself such that Enna was able to get another quick poke at him in the same weak point. Voss then lunged forward, gruesomely impaling the man’s throat on his spearpoint, dropping him to the floor in a gurgling heap.

“Well, so much for stealth,” I muttered bitterly.

Enna shrugged. “You did pick me up outta prison, you know? No guarantee I was a good thief.”

She had me there.

“Hey, Voss, stay and guard the door,” I asked, Someone’s got to keep Calliope and the butler safe.”

He gave me a little salute with his spear. “You got it.”

For the rest of- Enna, Katriana, Ashryn and myself- we scrambled upstairs. There was a stubby little hallways outside the storage room with only a pair of other doors branching off from it, but we could check those later. Our real prizes were above.

Enna was in the front of the pack, while I carried up the rear. A confused looking hobgoblin peered at us as we were coming up the stairs, but Enna cut him down easily with a shouted battle cry.

We emerged into a grand hall, lined with portraits and what appeared to be the front doors at one end, with a wrought iron spiral staircase twisting yet upwards, and a half-dozen openings branching off from it. Seemingly guided by instinct, Enna took us through one of the archways and into a finely appointed dining room, where a squad of five hobgoblins in full plate were already hustling to intercept us.

I kind of shrugged to myself. With only eleven combatants left, this would appear to be my best opportunity. I dug in my pouches for a pinch of sand and intoned the Hex of Lotus and Willow. Three of the hobgoblins blinked blearily and fell sleep, startling the remaining two, who were suddenly not so certain about how to proceed.

Enna launcher herself in as usual, her strike being blocked by one of the hobgoblin’s halberds. It was enough to distract him so that Katriana could stab him through the visor on his helmet, and he collapsed in a twitching him on top of his sleeping fellows.

The other one made a clumsy swipe with a morningstar at Ashryn, but she blocked him out with her shield, and struck back, only to have her mace bounce off his armour. It was enough, still, for Katriana to come up from behind him and run him through the back, just beneath the breastplate.

While Enna settled in to the grim task of robbing the dead and giving the sleeping hobgoblins “the ol’ slitty” as she put it, we scanned the room for valuables and clues. There was a closed door heading off to what was probably the kitchen, but other than some gold candlesticks set with crystal that I stowed away for pawning later, nothing seemed too valuable.

That is, until I came to something that looked like a liquor cabinet. Popping it open, the first thing I noticed was a glass bottle filled with some kind of syrup, multicoloured substance that look positively garish, but seemed magical in some way, so I popped it into my bag, along with a a bottle of amber liquid called “Slanting Soldier Special Reserve” and marked with a date from about a century earlier.

Ashryn was rather taken by one of the paintings in the room. It was just under an armspan long and perhaps two feet wide, depicting a verdant landscape and waterfall and set in a finely carved frame with images of animals frolicking about.

“You like that one?” I asked.

She nodded. “There’s something soothing about it.”

I nodded back and reached up to take it off the wall.

Ashryn seemed shocked. “Oh, you don’t have to do that! It’ll be a huge hassle carrying out a big painting!”

I shrugged at her. “If it does prove to be a hassle, we can sell it and at least be satisfied that it’s no longer in the hands of evil. If it isn’t ... well, I have to make sure I keep my second wife happy, right?”

Ashryn beamed a bright smile at me. “Okay, then! Let me help.”

“No, sorry, let me handle it, your hands have a bit of fresh blood on them.”

Not that my sewer-stained hands were bunch better, but at least they were dry.

I carried that painting out and leaned it against the wall by the basement stairs. Hopefully we would be able to grab it during our escape, and it wouldn’t get too dirty going out through the catacombs.