Chapter 5

Traffic was as hellish as Addie had predicted it would be. I was lucky she and Rita had taken their own cars. I couldn’t stand her blabbing and complaining in my ear about parking. She got particularly moody about shit like that.

I met them in front of Yogurtland because Rita really, really wanted frozen yogurt. There was a plain tart flavor that wasn’t too sweet so I bought a small cup. Rita and Addie piled up large cups miles high with chocolate and vanilla and cookies & cream and cheesecake and pecans & pralines and honeydew and raspberry flavors with so many toppings that it gave me a sugar rush just looking at it. All I got as a topping was unsweetened coconut flakes. Theirs was all chocolate sauce and candy and chocolate chips and sugary cereal. Ugh.

“We should stop by Sephora too,” Addie said, sucking on her spoon. A guy started following her just so he could watch her with his tongue hanging out of his disgusting mouth.

“Fuck off, creep,” I said. He looked away and scattered off into the mall.

Addie laughed.

“I’m never going to find a boyfriend. You scare off all potential prospects.”

“You don’t want a boyfriend like that,” I muttered. “And I don’t want to go to Sephora. I already have makeup.”

“You don’t even look like you’re wearing makeup,” Rita said, squinting as she looked at my face.

“That’s the point.”

“That’s not the point of makeup,” Addie said. “Let’s go. If I had your face I’d be accentuating my features every damn day.”

“Seriously, Celine,” Rita said, rolling her eyes. “You look like Gal Gadot’s Mexican cousin. Stop trying to downplay your features into Rosie O’Donnell’s Mexican left buttcheek with that pathetic makeup job.”

“What do I have to do to shut you two the hell up?”

“Go to Sephora,” Addie said, dropping her empty yogurt cup into a trash can as she passed it. She’d finished it in like five minutes.

So we went to fucking Sephora.

The girls bought close to four hundred dollars worth of makeup with my credit card and then forced me down into a chair to have one of the makeup artists do my makeup before we left the store. I just sat there with my arms crossed and maintained a face that wasn’t too bitchy because I didn’t want to be rude to the makeup artist. She showed me how she applied all the makeup step by step.

“So, what do you think?” the makeup artist asked, stepping away so I could see myself in the mirror in front of me.

What the fuck?

“What’d I say? Gal Gadot’s Mexican cousin,” Rita said smugly.

“Trade your face with mine if you don’t fucking like it,” Addie said, smiling. “I’d take it in a heartbeat.”

“You two shut your fucking mouths,” I said, tipping the makeup artist. “Sorry about our French. We’ve had a long day.”

“No problem,” the makeup artist said. “If I could cuss after a long day I would too. And hey, thanks for the tip. It’s way too much but I’m not gonna refuse it.”

She waved as we left the store. I couldn’t believe I had a small bag of almost four hundred fucking dollars worth of makeup. There were only like ten things in there. Why the hell was makeup so expensive?

“Fuck off, creep,” Addie started saying to guys every few feet. She was really enjoying getting back at me.

“Yeah, her boyfriend’s a surgeon. Try and compete with that!” Rita yelled at a guy that scowled from being told off.

“Will you guys shut the fuck up about him being a surgeon? It’s embarrassing. And he’s not my boyfriend.”