Chapter 19

That night I didn’t drink any alcohol, but oddly enough, I woke up hungover the next morning too. No joke, I rushed to the bathroom and dry-heaved for fifteen minutes into the toilet. It was not my most elegant moment.

Wes wasn’t there to take care of me this time. He’d spent the night at his mother’s, and she was likely cooking him up a grand breakfast. It was a work day for me, so he probably wouldn’t be dropping by anytime soon.

I brushed my teeth, gurgled some mouthwash and hopped into the shower. I took a quick hot shower, and hissed involuntarily as I ran the soap over my breasts. They felt almost ... swollen. And sore as hell.

“Oh, no,” I said, swaying in the shower. I put my hands out and steadied myself against the tile wall. “Oh, fuck.”

I have to be honest here: I haven’t had a period in years thanks to my birth control, but this was the first time that that’s been an inconvenience. If I had periods, I’d know if I missed one.

I slid to the tile floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. Maybe this was nothing. Maybe I was just imagining it.

I threw up the next morning.

Nope, wasn’t imagining it.

I called Darlene to cancel my morning and got dressed. I tied my hair up since I didn’t have time to brush it, and washed my face, brushed my teeth and practically ran out of the apartment. I took the elevator down, my foot tapping impatiently when I felt the second wave of nausea hit me. I slapped a hand over my mouth and held it in.

“Oh, dear,” said an old lady from my building when she found me throwing up in the parking garage. “Your first?”

“What?”

“First child,” she said. “I was completely unprepared when I had mine too. Of course, that was over fifty years ago. Here,” she got out a small package of tissues and a few sticks of gum from her bag and passed them to me. “You keep these, honey. You’ll need them.”

“Th-Thank you,” I said, stunned. Were strangers really supposed to be this kind?

“Does the good doctor know?” she asked me.

“I—what?”

“Dr. Spenrath. Have you told him yet?”

“I’m not—no ... I don’t know. I was just about to go buy the test, actually.” I didn’t know this woman, but she clearly seemed to know me. Wes knew all the neighbors so I guess that should be no surprise.

“Get the cheapest one,” the old lady said. “They all do the same thing and the cheap ones work just as well as the expensive ones. And get some water from a drive-thru on the way there. You need to fill up your bladder.”

“Thanks,” I said awkwardly. “I, um, really appreciate the advice. Please ... please don’t tell Wes.”

“Oh, of course, sweetheart,” the woman said. “I wouldn’t dream of stealing that moment from you. I’m in 219 if you need any more advice. Come see me anytime. My name’s Nancy.”

“Thank you, Nancy. I’m Celine.”

“I know who you are,” the woman said, smiling.

“Of course you do.”

“Now go on, go get that test. Buy two or three to be sure, actually.”

“I will, thank you.”

Nancy. I’d seen her around, but I don’t think we’ve ever exchanged more than a smile before today. She was nice, probably a lot nicer than I deserved considering that she’d never even crossed my mind before. I stopped off at a Starbucks and got some free iced water in the drive-thru before heading to the CVS. It was pretty early, but the one on Main Street was open 24 hours so it didn’t really matter.

A store clerk greeted me as I walked in, but there didn’t appear to be any other customers. I trailed down the aisles until I found what I was looking for: a pregnancy test that cost literally a dollar. I grabbed a handful and went to the register. The store clerk thankfully didn’t comment on my purchases, instead asking me how my day was going. It was going shit, but I lied and told her it was a great morning.

I couldn’t delay this any longer. I asked to use the bathroom and was directed to one in the back of the store. My hands shook as I turned the knob to the door, and it was a small and cramped bathroom, but I just had to get this over with. I peed into a little styrofoam cup the cashier had graciously given me when I’d asked. I won’t go into detail about how this was all done, but I will say that it’s gross as hell.

I did all five tests at once.