Chapter 16

The night nurse introduced himself as Jerry. He was kind of short, jolly-looking, and too friendly. He made me tired just looking at him. Wes shook his hand, made some jokes, and got Jerry laughing. After that, Jerry was like putty in his hands, coming to my room constantly to check on me, hoping to get a moment of Wes’s time. I rolled my eyes.

“Be nice,” Wes said, laughing when Jerry had disappeared.

In a few hours, Elena and Janie arrived, carrying bags of food from Panera Bread. They’d gotten me some broccoli cheddar soup, a sandwich, some chips, and a drink. I nibbled it to be nice, but I really wasn’t that hungry. I felt less nauseous but not enough to eat quite yet.

“You look terrible,” Janie said sympathetically, sitting on the side of my bed.

“Janet,” Elena said sharply. “Apologize right this instant.”

“Sorry,” Janie said, not sounding sorry at all. “What can I get ya? Do you want some jello or something? The cafeteria is still open. I can go get you something.”

“I’m really not hungry,” I told her. “I don’t even want to think about food right now.”

“I wish you were pregnant instead of sick as shit,” Janie whispered. I gave her a horrified expression.

“Ugh, I freaking hope that never happens,” I said.

Elena had apparently overheard because she dropped her phone from her hands. It fell to the floor, the screen thankfully not cracking. She picked it up, looking pale.

“You don’t ... you don’t want kids, Celine?” she asked.

“I don’t either,” Wes said protectively.

“What?” Elena said. “Since when? You love children, Wes.”

“I won’t argue that. I do love children, but I don’t want any of my own, Mom. I’m a surgeon. I won’t have the time to raise a family. I’d make a horrible fucking father, just like Dad.”

The room went eerily quiet. Janie looked down at her hands and Elena looked like someone had slapped her. It was the first time Wes had ever mentioned his father in front of me. I kept quiet, anticipating what would happen next.

“I-I’m going to go to the ladies’ room,” Elena said, turning on her heel and fleeing. Janie got up to go after her, but Wes grabbed her arm.

“Let her go,” he said. “She has to learn to deal with these emotions.”

Janie looked up at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “Why did you have to bring him up, you asshole?”

Wes pulled her into his arms, giving her a tight squeeze. I saw some tears run down her face, her expression a mixture of anger and hurt. Wes rubbed her back, whispered something in her ear and her features calmed, apparent that he’d said something to make her feel better. She wrapped her arms around her brother’s middle, her short black hair shining under the fluorescent lighting. She’d recently had it cut in a cute bob for the summer.

When Elena returned, her face looked fresh, as if she’d splashed water on it, but her eyes were red; she’d been crying.

“Mom, I’m sorry,” Wes said.

“It’s alright,” she said. “I think we’d better go now. Celine, honey, you’ll be okay for the night? Do you need anything before we go?”

“No,” I said. “I’ll just rest. Thank you. Try and see if you can take Wes with you. I don’t think he’s slept in a long while.”

“Not in a million years,” she replied. “He won’t and shouldn’t leave you.” She came over, hugging me. Before she let go, she whispered in my ear, “It’s okay that you don’t want kids. I hope you change your mind, but even if you don’t, I’ll still love you.”

I sucked in a ragged breath. “Th-Thank you,” I said, my emotions taking over my senses. I’d never known a mother’s love and support. It was so overwhelming that I was close to tears.

“Mom,” Janie said. “What did you say to her? Look, you upset her.”

“Oh, no, honey,” Elena said, wiping the corners of my eyes with a tissue that Wes passed her. “Don’t cry. Just try and feel better, okay? I’ll visit tomorrow, either here or your home if they discharge you.”

“I’ll see you then,” I said, giving her a watery smile. She returned my smile, and Janie came over and hugged me. They hugged Wes, even Elena who did it a little stiffly, and then waved and left.

“It was really nice of them to stop by.”

“Yeah,” Wes agreed. “I just wish my mother wouldn’t be so judgmental.”

“Wes, cut her some slack. She just wants grandchildren. Janie’ll give her some. I’m sure she’ll be fine in the long run.”

He took his seat beside my bed, taking my hand and kissing it. “I think it’s time I told you.”

“About what?”

“My father.”

I squeezed his hand. “You don’t have to.”

“My mother and sister consider you family already,” Wes said. “You have a right to know about the elephant in the room. When I told you that I wanted to be a doctor because of a test on the internet, I wasn’t exactly being fully honest. I’d always kind of considered it because my father, he was, uh, a family practitioner. He had his own practice in Irvine with a partner, another doctor. She was young, that partner, and came from a family with a lot of money. She funded the bulk of their projects and improvements to the clinic.”

I got a bad feeling in my stomach, already dreading what I was about to hear.

“My father was never around. He got engrossed in his career, working late hours, disappearing on weekends to study or attend conferences, and was just all-around the shittiest father known to man. He never made a single baseball game, never showed up for a school event. He just didn’t care about anything but himself ... and his partner.”

“Wes...”

“It’s okay, babe,” Wes said. “My father, as you probably guessed, cheated on Mom; the fucking bastard. Janie was still a baby when he left us, meeting us later in court and relinquishing custody of me and Janie to Mom. He just didn’t fucking care about us. He didn’t want us, Celine. He didn’t...”

Wes paused, his voice cracking. “I was fifteen-years-old. It was humiliating, my father leaving us for another woman. He married his partner, popped out a couple of kids, got a whole new family, and has been there for those kids, being a real father to them. A few years ago, he tried reconnecting with Janie and me. Said he wanted to make up for all those years, but it was too late. Janie had grown up without a father, and I was still pissed with him for abandoning us. We never repaired that relationship.”

“Wes, I am so sorry.”

“S’okay,” he said, offering me a small smile. “He’s still a sore subject with Mom and Janie. I shouldn’t have brought him up.”

“Is he why you don’t want to have kids?”

Wes nodded. “He was a family doctor and didn’t manage to make time for us. I’m a surgeon, Celine. I don’t want to be a father like him, some piece of shit who doesn’t have time for his kids, and I have even less time to give because of my career. I think it’s better if I’m just a really good uncle to Janie’s kids.”

“I understand. I ... I kind of don’t want kids because of my past, too. I grew up without parents. I don’t know the first thing about being a mother. I’m better off spoiling my friends’ kids.”

“We’re on the same page, then,” Wes said, leaning over and kissing the top of my head. “Now get some rest, baby.”

My eyes fluttered closed. I was truly exhausted.

“Thank you for telling me, Wes.”

And before I knew it, I was out like a light.

The next morning, I found my boyfriend asleep in his chair, sleeping like the dead, not even a snore to indicate that he was alive. Thankfully, I was used to the way he slept and didn’t feel the terror I used to feel when we’d first started dating. I used to always think that he’d died.

I stroked his hair back from his forehead, looking down at him adoringly. I was still scared of letting go, of feeling love, but at least I knew that Wes was all I could ever hope for and more. He was the perfect partner; understanding, kind, selfless, hilarious, and sweet, so sickeningly sweet that sometimes I wondered how I hadn’t gotten any cavities.

“Mm,” he mumbled, eyes opening.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay, I should be up anyways,” Wes said, checking his watch. He groaned.

“What?”

“I have my graduation today. I don’t think I’ll go.”

“Wes, what the fuck? Of course you have to go!”

“I can’t leave you here alone.”

“Wes, honestly, I’m not five. I’ll be fine. I want you to go. I’ll never forgive you if you don’t.”

“Celie, babe, I can’t bear the thought of you being stuck here alone.”

“She won’t be alone,” said a voice from the doorway. We both looked up.

“Rita!” I cried, grinning. She had in her hands some iced coffees from 7 Leaves. I gave her a grateful smile as she handed a coffee to each of us, sipping her own with a pleased expression on her face. Her engagement ring flashed in the morning sunlight, sparkling brilliantly. I only glanced at it for a second, afraid to give Wes any ideas; I didn’t want him thinking that I wanted one.

“I brought a phone charger for you, Celine,” Rita said, holding up her purse. “And some scones and biscuits. I have them in my bag. I’ll keep you busy while Wes goes to his graduation.” She turned to Wes. “I’ll fucking kill you if you don’t go.”

“She’s serious,” I said. “Hell hath no fury like a woman sconed.“

“Was that a joke?” Wes asked, dumbfounded. Rita burst into laughter.

“Sconed,” she said, giggling. “I get it.”

Wes’s face broke into a beautiful smile. “You amaze me more and more every day.”

“Yeah, yeah, we know Celine’s an awesome badass beauty,” Rita said, giving him a shove toward the door. “Get out of here before I beat you with a scone. Your graduation is in like three hours.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Wes said, waving. Rita held up a fist and he backed away slowly, grinning. “Bye, ladies!”

“God, I thought he’d never leave,” Rita said when he was gone. She plopped down in the chair by my bed, sipping her iced coffee and passing me her bag. I snapped it open, finding a paper bag with scones and biscuits, just like she’d said. I helped myself to some, suddenly feeling ravenous.

“Slow down there, you animal,” Rita said, amused. “The food isn’t going anywhere.”

“Mf hungfee,” I said through a mouthful of biscuits. I’m hungry.

“Did you eat anything yesterday?”