Chapter 12

Barrow completed his eleventh u-turn and pulled off onto the shoulder. The backroad had been mostly empty but for the slow moving Toyota packed with the five pregnant girls. The girls had been driving hopscotch from turn off to gas station to convenience store. A car can only go as far as the smallest bladder inside of it. Those girls had spent a small fortune on junk food. Barrow shrugged into a white winter coat and affixed a MAGA hat on his head. Parker switch into a fur lined leather jacket and a pom-pommed toque.

“They must’ve noticed the car by now.” He said. “In a city, in daylight, the costumes work but we’ve seen one other vehicle on the road tonight and we’ve past the girls twenty times counting both ways.”

“Their focus is shot.” She said. “Krysten was de-itched by the time we got her and she’s overdue. Jen’s driving and she’s the one who has gone the longest.”

“Well, Ramamurthy, Henson, and Zucker could be clearheaded.” He warned.

“Maybe, I doubt it.” Parker said. “Look. There.”

The girls ahead turned onto an offroad into a wood. The agents drove by and stopped out of sight. Parker brought up their tools on her phone and laptop.

“This could be it.” Barrow agreed.

“Look,” She zoomed on the GPS. The google earth pictures were from spring but it was clear it was a straight shot up for about a 5 minute drive. There was a ranger’s station at the top of the hill.

“That’s a lot of woods to cover.” Barrow said. “We should call in a chopper.”

“Yeah, from who?” She asked. “Give them fifteen and we’ll put on the agent personas one last time.”

“It’s four in the morning. The warden’s not there.” Barrow said.

“Yeah, well, we just gotta get ahead of a bunch of pregnant girls and reach the camp first.” She said. “You a hunter?”

“Yeah, but I can’t just look at a satellite map and pick out the best spot for a campsite.” He said.

“Dammit. The hard way then.” She said.

“Or we wait until the ranger’s arrived and get helped. The girls find Nut, they’ll be in such a frenzy it should be trivial to pick a hill and take the shot.”

“And then what? Take out everyone?” Parker shook her head.

“It might be the best way.” He said.

“No, right now the Nut is starving. This is a time for eggs, not bacon, meathead.” She said. She unbuttoned her pants and shoved them down.

“What are you doing?” He asked. She stuck out her tongue, squinted, turned her fingers, and yanked out her diaphragm.

“I wasn’t about to let that sheriff or grocery store bag boy knock me up. But now, I can’t have the Braxian disregard me as a pardapardo.” She said. “Time?”

“If we’re giving them 15? We got another 12 minutes.” He said.

“Cool.” She said. She looked at Barrow and saw iron will and steel muscles. She smiled and reclined. “I’m thinking of a person.”

Adam accepted the steel flask from his father. He looked back shocked.

“Relax kiddo. Take a drink. My first drink with my dad was something special. It was his way of saying he trusted me to be an adult. I was a little younger than you are now.” His father poked their campfire with a stick. It was warm for a late autumn night but all four men were bundled up and sitting near the fire. Their two tents at their back.

“I was about his age.” Mr Henson said.

“My dad was a teetotaler.” Mr Zucker said. “I feel like I missed out on something.”

Adam nodded. He looked past the fire to the bag he had stuffed down the hill. He unscrewed the flask’s cap. He slung much more than a sip on his tongue. The old men were chuckling as Adam’s dad rubbed his son’s back. Mr Henson took the flask.

“You know good whiskey.” He said. Mr Zucker took the next.

“Agreed.” And the flask went back to Adam’s father.

“Look, fucking up happens. You’re a good kid.” Mr Henson opened a bag of pretzels. “Maura could do a lot worse.”

“The worst of it is any new parent is a fuck up. If you can’t handle your own fuckups how do you support your kids when they have theirs.” Mr Zucker said. “If it comes down to it, tomorrow, you’d marry Maura, wouldn’t you?”

“That’s what Vickie wants.” Adam’s father said. “Or she did, before Emmy was on the table. I don’t think you’re old enough.”

“I gotta do something.” Adam said. “It was killing me when only Maura would work with me.”

“Jesus!” Mr Zucker said.

“What I need to know,” Adam’s father said. Adam took the flask as his father talked. “What I need to know is that despite the anger and the disappointment and the fear, we’re all full in on this.”

“Donna’s not going to like it.” Mr Zucker said. He smiled as Adam wiped the whiskey twist from his lips and passed the flask to Mr Henson.

“I didn’t want to bring that up.” Mr Henson said. “The trouble with this is, I think Maura’s happy. Happy Emmy’s there with you too.”

“I haven’t been able to read Emmy since she’s been hiding your name from me.” Mr Zucker took the flask. “You and Maura are so far out of the orbit she set for herself ... I’m glad to see her perfect face cracking. You can’t be that hard without being brittle.”

“Hmm.” Adam’s father said. “What do you want Adam? Has anyone asked you that?”

The three men turned their eyes on the younger. Adam shook his head. “I kinda feel like a henchman in the whole thing. No. No one’s asked me what I want.”

“We are now, son.” Mr Zucker said.

“We are now.” Mr Henson agreed.

“I want ... I want the girls to be happy. I want the girls to be happy with me.” He said.

“Hmm...” Adam’s father said. He lifted his flask swished and heard there was very little left. He past the last draught to his son. Adam made a face and forced it down. His father grabbed him by the shoulder and shook. “I’m going to do my best for you, for the kids, and for your girls. In that order.”

“Shit.” Mr Henson said. “Kid, you’re third for me. The grandkids first.”

“Yeah,” Mr Zucker said. “Emmy needs to be held to a higher standard.” He stretched. “I’m gonna grab the bottle of rum. You guys don’t mind if we botch the first day of the hunt?”

“Get a bottle of soda for Adam.”

“I thought you said you trusted me as an adult.” The son turned to the father.

“Yeah,” He nodded. “You’re going to want to mix this.”

“Don’t hog all of the soda, I’d rather a rum and coke as well.” Mr Henson said. The cooler was locked behind the tents. Mr Zucker walked around and his phone chirped and buzzed in his pocket.

“I guess things didn’t go as well with the girls.” He saw the messages from Donna flying in. “I should just turn the whole thing off and focus on you this weekend Adam.”

“That’s what I did.” Mr Henson said. “The reception’s bad enough out here anyways. Besides, Maura was just going to make everybody angry and defensive. Always better to be at ground zero after the detonation, not during.”

“Guys,” Mr Zucker said. “This said the girls took Vickie’s car.”

“Oh, wow.” Adam’s father laughed and shook his son. “You’re not going to get a moment’s rest for the rest of your life.”

“Oh!” Mr Zucker said. “Apparently, the Sheriff thinks they went to the Goldworth’s ... I don’t know them well.”

“Maura and their youngest are close. Krysten’s grown into quite a looker.” Mr Henson said. Adam stared red-faced into the fire. “I heard she went lesbo though. Big loss. Big loss.”

“Oh,” Mr Zucker returned with a two liter of Coca-Cola and a bottle of white rum. “Well, phone’s off.”

“Krysten Goldsworth? She the girl who’s dating that other pregnant girl?” Adam’s father asked.

“Yeah,” Mr Zucker was laughing as he poured Adam a drink in a tin mug. “There’s something in the air.”

The men laughed. Adam didn’t. The men stopped laughing as each one looked at him.

“No.” Adam’s father intercepted the rum and coke from Mr Zucker. He looked at his son and started laughing hysterically.

“My boots don’t fit anymore! My feet are too fucking fat!” Maura shouted at her pink galoshes.

“Shhhh.” Emmy sat Maura down in the back seat of the car. Krysten and Jen followed the hand instructions and helped Emmy sit down on the packed earth of the makeshift parking lot. The only other vehicle out tonight was Mr Towers’ big SUV. They checked. Nut wasn’t in it. They had to go in the woods.

“I’ve got two road flares and one flashlight.” Samira said coming back from the trunk.

“Maura, push your foot.” Emmy held the boot and put the sole against her shoulder. Maura erupted in curse words until she stomped her heel down on the top of Emmy’s tits. “Alright, one more.”

“I’m so fucking pathetic.” Maura whined.

“Shut your hormones up.” Jen demanded. “The last thing we need is to start crying and hugging everyone again. It should’ve taken four hours to get out here. It’s been seven.”

“Well you guys have just been so good to Adam and Nut and me and here I am slowing everybody down and can’t even put my boots on like an adult.” Maura threatened tears.

“I’m going straight for anal sex.” Krysten declared. Maura lost her misery and snorted.

“Ow!” Emmy flinched as the second of Maura’s heels clubbed her in the shoulder. “Don’t kick me with your fucking cow feet.”

“Hoofs are smaller than big feet. Bears have big feet.” Samira said. Her eyes scanned the woods. Her throat vibrated and fear started to rock her.

“So does Nut!” Krysten giggled. “They’re like ping pong paddles. No, they’re thinner, like spatulas.”

“With long creepy toes.” Emmy agreed. “Can I get some help? The ground is really cold.”

It took four of them to pull Emmy up.

“And this is only halfway cooked.” Samira rubbed her belly. “I don’t know about you girls, but I don’t want to get pregnant again.”

“Unless that’s what Adam or Nut wants.” Maura stomped in her boots and triumphed.

“I can tell Adam no.” Samira grumbled.

“The fuck you can.” Jen laughed. “Fuck me! Fuck my little brown ass!”

“I said ‘Fuck me! Fuck my asshole!’” Samira sniffed. “You were the one bringing up my brown ass.”

“I like your brown ass.” Krysten was all hugs. “Let’s go!”

“Where are we going?” Emmy asked.

“Um.” Maura answered. “Shit.”

With the one flashlight the forest was too Goddamned big.

“We’ll figure it out.” Samira said. “I figure we should go that way.”

The brown girl pointed. All of the other girls agreed. They looked at each other.

“Does anyone else think there’s a lot of anger that way?” Maura asked. No one disagreed.

Barrow and Parker were well equipped. They lowered their nightvision goggles. It was trivial to pinpoint the girls. They were a loud, awkward mass trumping through the brush like an elephant of complaints. The light from their flashlight weaved through the woods.

“The men clearly took this path.” Barrow gestured. He spoke quietly.

“Followed the trail around the ridge and over towards the lake. There’s a river down that way?” Parker’s teeth chattered as she recalled the GPS. “Yeah, Braxians are denser than water and cannot hold their breath.”

“I wasn’t certain they breathed.” Barrow said. His eyes travelled over Parker’s legs. She was wearing a tactical vest, the headgear, the rifle sling on her shoulder, and combat boots. The miniskirt didn’t fit. He lifted it up.

“Yeah, that cold.” She waved her unclad sex at him. “Let’s get moving, hopefully pumping the blood will warm me up.”

“We got time. I could warm you--”

“You pull this off and I’m yours.” She said. “Mission first.”

“Mission first.”

Adam swayed as he pissed on a tree. He laughed as a few droplets spattered on the top of the backpack. His father had passed him the cup after Adam had come clean about everything short of the alien. Two cups of rum and coke, the mouthful, and sips of whiskey. Adam was drunk enough.

There hadn’t been much more talk after Adam had laid out everything. His father was still at the fire. Mr Zucker and Mr Henson were in the second tent. Maura snored like her dad.

“Braxdirth!” The bag started kicking and rolling. Adam laughed and forced the rest of the piss out. The bag popped and rolled down the hill and clubbed a tree.

“Yeah, I remember what that’s like.” Adam said. He had a thought, grab the alien, plop it down right in front of his father. He stepped forward. If he was going to do this, he knew the play was to keep the bag zippered shut. He pulled the tag and Nut squirmed out. “Braxchor, Braxporg, Jahdojahda! Kapeesh Jahdojahda!”

“Adam? You alright? Did you have too much?” His father sounded a hundred years older when he called for his son. Nut quieted down but he wouldn’t still himself.

“I’ll be fine Dad.” Adam said. He sat down staring nut in the eyes. Even in the dark he could see the small irises turn up to him. The big irises looked to Nut’s left and sometimes swung to the campsite. “Give me some air for a minute.”

“Alright, you don’t come up in 15,, I’ll come find you.” His dad called out.

“Nn-Nut,” Nut swayed with a weird excitement. That made Adam’s stomach slosh with the movement. Nut stepped forward and tugged Adam’s ear. It wasn’t as bad as usual. He tugged again. He tugged again. “Braxdirth.”

“What does that even mean?” Adam blew out his lip in mirror to Nut. Nut slapped a stomp into the ground. His large irises swung. Adam couldn’t be bother to look. Nut saw something he wanted and sprinted away. The alien only managed to pull himself one pace on his hands before he slumped down into a waddle. He came back lifting his arms up to be carried. Adam stepped away.