Chapter 4

“Dinner?” Brian asked Richard. “Let me guess -- Crystal.”

“Yeah, we’re meeting at the cafeteria. You’re welcome to join us. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Naw ... I’d just be a third wheel.”

“Tonight is our first real date,” Richard said.

“You’ve been out with her every night this week.”

“We have dinner and then study together. Whalen has nice, quiet study rooms.”

“How much studying and how much canoodling?”

“We’re not in that kind of a relationship,” Richard replied.

“Have you kissed her?”

“Yeah ... We kiss good-night when we’re done studying.”

“Okay -- baseball analogy. Which base?”

“I’m in the batter’s box, I guess, waiting for the first pitch. We’re more than friends but less than lovers. Crystal has ... issues.”

“What girl doesn’t?”

“Hers are more serious than most and I won’t say more. I’d like to think I’m helping her work through them.”

“I am happy for you, Rich. I could tell there was chemistry between you two when you were on stage with her at the play. I could see the sparks fly. What are you doing after dinner?”

“We’re going to see the Film Society’s showing of Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Spellbound’.”

“Then what?”

“Crystal told me her roommate is out of town this weekend so we’re going to her room to hang out.”

“She’s in Whalen? I thought those are all singles.”

“Not the corner rooms -- those are two doubles and a common area. Crystal said her roommate is always there but this weekend she went home for some family event.”

“Bro -- you know what this means? You might be in the batter’s box but you’re about to hit a home run.”

“Brian -- we are not in that kind of a relationship.”

“There’s only one reason a girl invites you to her room -- to knock boots. Do you have protection?”

“Protection?”

“Condoms, jerk-brain. Nothing kills a tender moment like being without ‘em.” Brian opened a desk drawer and pulled a strip from a box. “Here -- take these.”

“I will not need them.”

“Better to have them and not need them than need them and not have them.” Brian stuffed the strip into Richard’s back jeans pocket and slapped his shoulder. “Good luck tonight.”

“Thanks.” Richard headed out the door.

Richard and Crystal walked, fingers locked, from the Physics building. “I wish the Film Society could find a lecture hall on the upper campus to hold their showings,” he remarked.

“That lecture hall has the most comfortable seats. At least I think we’re early enough to catch the last shuttle.”

They stopped at the corner in front of the student union. The white Tech shuttle van pulled up and the driver opened the sliding door. “IDs please,” he said.

Richard sat beside Crystal on the bench seat as the van drove up the hill and stopped by the Quad. The two of them headed toward Whalen.

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” he remarked. “You didn’t have much to say at dinner. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I guess I’m in a pensive mood.”

“How did you like the film?” he asked.

“It was okay. I thought the psychoanalytic aspect was rather naive. And that dream sequence was over the top.”

“Psychiatry was fairly new when the film was made and Freud was king of that hill. The field has evolved quite a bit since then. The dream sequence was designed by Salvador Dali.”

“I could identify with him being triggered by the railroad tracks.”

“I’ll bet. The sort of amnesia depicted is much more common in the movies than in real life. Otherwise I enjoyed it. I enjoyed sharing it with you.”

They reached Whalen. Crystal unlocked the door to the residence floors and Richard followed her up the stairwell to the second floor and down a corridor. She unlocked the door to her suite and they stepped inside.

“I told you my roommate Maddie went home for the weekend. Kylie and Rachel are probably out on the town. They’re a couple.”

Richard raised his eyebrows. “Indeed. These accommodations must be convenient for them.”

“For sure. They’ve been together since last year.” She opened the door to the bedroom she shared with Maddie and Richard followed her inside. He closed the door.

Crystal put her arms around him and kissed him. She kissed him again and he felt her tongue against his lips. She relaxed her jaw and he let his tongue follow hers into her mouth. She drew back, stroking his with her lips.

“Crystal -- what brought this on?”

“I want us to make love.” She led him to her bed. He sat on it and she sat on his lap. “Richard -- I’ve been thinking about tonight all week. This is something I want.”

“I thought you said you didn’t know...”

“I need to find out. I kept reflecting on what you said -- if I let the rape consume me then he has won. I let him take so much from me -- I never dated, never went to Prom or dances ... or anything social for that matter.”

“Does it need to be now?” he asked. “Can’t it be something we ... evolve into? This is only our first real date.”

“It doesn’t feel like that to me. It feels like the culmination of something that’s been building since we started working together on that play. I was in denial about my feelings for you. I was drawn to you from the beginning. You said you felt vibes that your feelings for me were mutual. You were right.”

“You’re a virgin. What you’re asking me to do is to deflower you.”

“Is that a problem? You say I’m a virgin. I’m not so sure.”

“To me you ARE a virgin. I’ve never deflowered one. I guess I’m one of those guys who wish someone else has already taken care of it.”

She stood and faced away from him. “Well,” she said coolly, “my hymen is in tatters thanks to the rape so that unpleasant bit has been done for you.”

He stood and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Crystal -- breaking your hymen is the least of it. I’m worried about breaking your psyche. I’m prepared to stick with you for as long as it takes. I’m in no hurry.”

She turned to him. “I’ll assume responsibility for my psyche. I have been preparing emotionally for tonight ever since Maddie told me she’d be out of town. I even watched porn videos to de-sensitize myself.”

“Those videos are mostly misogynist male fantasies that objectify women. They don’t show real-life lovemaking ... uh ... so I’ve heard. Did the videos help?

“I don’t know. There’s a big difference between seeing an erect penis and being penetrated by one.”

“No dispute there,” Richard remarked.

“I want this for you, too. Hypothetically speaking ... Suppose you and I agreed to abstain until we were married -- the route my parents would prefer us to take. We go through the engagement, planning the wedding, rings, invitations, venue, cake, flowers ... the whole nine yards. We get to our honeymoon destination and when the moment arrives ... we discover I’m a phallophobe and I can’t go through with it. All that investment in time and emotion, not to mention money -- it wouldn’t be fair to you ... to us. That’s why I need to know, now, before our relationship goes any further.”

“What if you are a phallophobe?”

She brushed tears from her cheeks. “I don’t know ... I guess I’ll need to find a therapist.”

“If you are, it won’t change how I feel for you. What I said stands -- I’ll stick with you for as long as it takes.”

“Hearing that makes a world of difference, Richard. It really does.”

“Have you talked to your counselor about this?”

“Yes I have.”

“Is this something she suggested?”

“No. I suggested it.”

“Does she think this is a good idea?”

Crystal shook her head. “She thinks it’s a bad idea. She said I was playing with fire. I told her I don’t care if I get burned.”

“I agree with your counselor. This IS a bad idea.”

“I NEED to know, Richard.”

“How far are you willing to take this?”

“As far as necessary to know the answer.” She opened a desk drawer and picked up a condom in its wrapper. “I got this from the health center.”

Richard led her back to her bed. He sat and again held her on his lap, gazed into her green eyes. “It’s this important to you.”

“It’s this important,” she replied.

He nodded. “Okay.”

“You agree?”

“Yes, I agree,” he replied. Crystal placed her hand on her chest. “Having palpitations?”

“Just a couple. I’m all right.”

He placed his fingertips on her neck. “Are you sure? Your pulse is about a hundred twenty.”

“Of course I’m a little nervous,” she admitted.

“So am I. We’ll need to take this slow. I need to get into the mood. Right now I am incapable of performing.” He stroked her cheek. “Let’s set some ground rules. Rule number one ... If you say stop or don’t ... I will stop immediately.”

“Let’s modify rule number one,” Crystal suggested, “if either of us feels it’s wrong, say something and we’ll stop.”

“Agreed.”

“What’s rule number two?”

“Rule number two ... rule number one is inviolable.” Richard caressed her cheek. “You have the prettiest green eyes ... bedroom eyes.”

“What does that mean? I’ve heard the expression.”

“It means your eyelids are a bit thick and heavy. They cover the tops of your irises and give you a dreamy sleepy-eye look.”

“You have pretty eyes, too. Brown like English walnut and long lashes. I wish my lashes were long like yours. Not even mascara can help them.”

Richard slipped his hand behind her head and kissed her lips. “Is that why you don’t wear makeup?”

She kissed him. “One reason.”

He kissed her again, this time running his tongue between her lips. “I’m glad you don’t. I like your clean, natural look.” He kissed her again and then covered her face with kisses. “I love your hair and your freckles.”

“My freckles I’m not so happy with,” she replied. Crystal took his hand and held his fingers to her neck. “My heart is back to normal. You’re putting me at ease.”

“You’re putting me in the mood.” Gazing into her eyes he began slowly unbuttoning her blouse about halfway. He spread it open. Underneath she wore a bra made of sheer dark red fabric. He could discern the faint shadows of her poker-chip sized areolas.

Richard ran the backs of his fingers across her breasts. “Doing okay?” he asked.

“Remember rule number one. If it feels wrong I will say so.” He continued stroking her breasts through her bra and her nipples began to firm, making little bumps in the fabric. “Feels good, Richard. I like how you look into my eyes.” He slipped his finger under her left cup and stroked her breast, skin on skin. The tip of his finger brushed her nipple. She closed her eyes and drew in a breath. “Feels really good.”

He stroked her right breast and then unbuttoned her blouse the rest of the way. She slipped it off her shoulders. He slid her shoulder straps down her arms and lowered the fabric of the cups.

Her breasts were compact and firm, barely B-cup sized and adorned with deeply pigmented pinkish-tan areolas. Centered in each was a slightly redder nipple the size of a pencil eraser.

“They’re beautiful,” he remarked. “You’re beautiful. I love this little birthmark above your right nipple. It’s the sort of thing lovers discover about each other.” Richard stroked her left nipple until it firmed. He gently rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. “You can touch me, too, you know.”

Crystal unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. She caressed his chest and ran her fingertips across his nipples. “Do you like this, too?” she asked.

“I do. This is a thrill, Crystal. I feel really privileged.”

“Can you do both sides?” she asked.

“I certainly can.” He rolled both her nipples and gazed into her face. Her lips were parted and her breathing had grown heavy.

Richard reached around her, feeling for a clasp in the back strap of her bra. “This doesn’t hook?”

“It’s elastic,” she said and lifted her shoulder straps into place. Then, grasping the band of her bra she stretched it and lifted it over her head. Crystal shook out her mane of hair, reached for a hair tie on her nightstand and tied her coarse chestnut hair into a pony tail. “I want to lie down,” she said.

Richard stood and Crystal reclined on her bed. She opened her arms to him and he lay beside her. They kissed. He covered her face with kisses and then moved down, kissing her neck and chest, between her breasts to her abdomen. He covered her breasts with kisses and then began rimming her pebbly areolas with his tongue, switching from left to right and back again, and spiraling in until he reached her firmly erect nipples.

He drew her right nipple into his mouth and nursed. She put her hands on the back of his head and pressed his face against her chest. Richard switched sides and he in his lips could feel her heart beating fast and strong. Her belly and thighs twitched with his nursing.

Richard knelt beside her and ran his hands around the waist of the knee-length denim skirt she wore. “It closes in back?”

“Yeah...” She rolled to her side. He unclasped the waistband and unzipped it. Crystal rolled onto her back and lifted her hips. He slid the skirt off her legs and then slipped her China flats from her feet.

She pushed her navy knee socks partway down her calves. “They were getting itchy,” she said. Richard pulled them off her ankles and feet.

“Turnabout is fair play,” he said and removed his jeans and socks. He approached her, took her hand and pressed her palm against his briefs so she could feel his erection. “You okay?”