Chapter 28

Josh called me about a week later, mentioning he would be able to start throwing the ball in about two weeks. He asked me if I would be willing to workout with him privately, away from prying eyes. I told him I would be more than happy to do anything I could to help him, Josh made us a much better ball club.

The free agency period had just started and our team wasted no time in making a huge splash in the market. We immediately signed two top flight wide receivers with great speed. We signed a veteran linebacker and cornerback to bolster our defense. We had lost three players to other teams, but all in all, we definitely got better. Then in a surprise move, Coach Stanton resigned as head coach, a week before our first off season practice would be held. The team immediately named Coach Reed as the new head coach, then hired a new young offensive coordinator from Dallas to handle Coach Reed’s former duties.

The following week we held the first of our OTA’s, most of the club participated, though quite a few were really out of shape. The OTA lasted about a week, then we were given three weeks off, until the second session would be held. Our new offensive coordinator, Chase Cullen was a dynamic, brilliant offensive mind. He believed in throw first, throw second, throw third, then maybe run once. He employed a multitude of offense sets using three to five receivers in different packages. His terminology was extreme, each play called having four variations depending on how the defense would react. We had basically became a pass first, run later offense with the five to twenty yard pass becoming our staple. The new playbook was unreal, much more difficult than what we had used previously. I was in my second year and once again, I had to learn another offense.

It was during that following week that I met Josh for the first time to begin his workouts. The first few days, we simply played pitch and catch, gradually increasing the number of throws he would make each day. Although he did tell me several times, he felt a little soreness, overall there was no major pain. By the start of the third week, he was beginning to throw me short out routes, some easy fades and a few narrow post routes. One thing had not changed was the accuracy of his throw’s. Although the ball didn’t have the velocity it normally had, it was where you wanted it to be. Even though it was not his throwing shoulder, the upper body rotation was still something that he had to be careful of.

Josh and I dove head first into the new playbook, spending hours learning the new formations. What was a bit easier is that the receivers had to know what package they were in, you were not in on every play. Receivers were constantly shuttled in and out on every play, never letting the defense know what was coming. The draw back was if someone got hurt, you might have to play in multiple packages.

We had drafted a running back in the first round out of Ohio, he was too small to be an every down back, but he had explosive speed being a former track and field athlete as well as a football player in college. In fact from what I had heard, he barely missed making the Olympic team the year before. We also picked up two more offensive linemen, one defensive end and another tight end. We were six weeks away from training camp, Josh and I were working out every other day at a nearby high school. Josh was back to his normal self, his throws tight and on target. Although he still lacked some strength in the weight room, the trainers were being careful to bring him along slowly.

Two weeks prior to training camp, I had pretty much mastered the new terminology, I now had to apply it to practical use. Josh and I would meet every other day or so, trying to work the details down to perfection. Training camp would start on Monday, we had three days left to feel normal. One thing for sure about this game, the best your body felt was the first day of training camp. From that point on, it was down hill until well after the season ended for you to feel anywhere near normal again. I decided to take the weekend off, relax for one last time.

I was out by the pool Friday night, when my cell phone rang, I didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello.” I answered.

“Brian, this is Jenny, can I talk to you for a few minutes?” came the reply.

My initial response was to hang up immediately, I was still reeling from what had happened. I guess she noticed the long pause with no response because she quickly followed up on her request.

“Please Brian, let me just try to explain, if after I explain, you still feel the same way, I will never speak to you again, I promise.” she added.

“Ok Jenny, I’m listening.” I replied softly.

“Thank you ... Ok, let me start ... I ... Uh, we got married very young we were both under twenty at the time. Kevin treated me like I meant the world to him, I adored him. But slowly things changed, he got the job he has now, he spends a lot of time on the road away from home. I started noticed things when he returned from long trips, nothing concrete, just small subtle changes.” she started.

“He wasn’t dying to climb into bed with me as soon as he walked in the door. He always seemed preoccupied with work, always on the cell phone or computer. We grew further and further apart. I confronted him several times about it, every time it ended up causing a very bad argument.” she continued.

“Then one night after, he had just returned from a two week trip, he was in the shower. His cell phone rang on the kitchen table, it went to voice mail, I just ignored it. But it kept ringing over and over so finally I picked it up and saw it was several text messages from someone named Shelley.” she went on.

“When I opened up the messages, they were explicit pictures of a young red headed woman, with the caption “Momentos of our trip”.

When he got out of the shower, I threw the phone at him and everything exploded. He tried to deny it at first, but it was useless. The quarrel got more and more intense, until he finally slapped me, knocking me down. We split up for a while, then reconciled a few months later, but I am sure he hasn’t changed.” she added.

“Anyway I met you, you made me feel special again, really important. I guess in my mind, I wasn’t doing anything he hadn’t done to me so I justified what I did that night. The next morning I woke up feeling horrible about what I had done, how I had lied to you. I was trying to think of a way to tell you, but the dedication ruined all of that. Please believe me Brian, I feel awful about what I did to you. I just hope that you can one day forgive me.” she ended.

I sat there for a moment taking it all in, not quite knowing how to reply to what I had heard. I could tell she was very emotional, she sounded sincere in her words to me.

“Jenny, really I don’t know what to say. I am so grateful to you for all of the hard work you put in with the foundation. Without you, I know it would have been much more difficult. But I just can’t continue a relationship with a married woman, it would be suicide for me. I want you to continue working with me on the foundation, I want to stay your friend, but that’s all I can be.” I replied.

“That’s all I want Brian, I promise I will never hurt you again.” she sobbed.

“Let’s just forget what happened, start over again Jenny.” I asked.

“That would be great.” she replied.

We hung up, I laid the phone back on the small table next to my chaise lounger. I was close to seven o’clock in the evening, there was a nice breeze out, I laid back down in my chair. There were only two other people by the pool, it never really got crowded until after dark. I laid there, replaying what Jenny had told me over and over in my head. The more I thought about it, the more angry I became that Kevin had actually struck her. I knew I was going to have to be careful if I encountered him in the future, not to betray Jenny, but more importantly maintain my cool around him. Just as I was thinking about heading back upstairs, I heard a familiar voice.

“Hey neighbour, what have you been up to?”

I looked up quickly to see Alexis standing there, a large beach bag in her hand.

“Oh hey Alexis, not much. Just trying to get my last few days of rest in before hell starts next week.” I replied.

“Mind if I join you?” she asked.

“No not all.” I answered, pointing to the lounger beside mine.

She laid her bag on the table between us, then sat down in the chair tilting it back three quarters of the way. I could tell she had a bathing suit on under the long black tee shirt that fell to the middle of her thighs. As I lifted my chair back up slightly, I could see several more tenants had made their way to the pool area.

“How’s work been?” I asked.

“Hectic, I have two players I’m trying to sign, one of them is Scott Johnson from Ohio.” she answered.

Scott was the new running back we had drafted in the first round, from all I had heard, I was extremely excited to see him up close. The other was a player for Oakland, drafted in the second round.

“Are you close on Johnson?” I asked.

“Brian, you know I can’t talk about it, especially with you.” she laughed, “But I think he will be in camp on time.”

We talked about her work for a few more minutes, then she sat up swinging her legs to the side of the chaise.

“You wanna take a dip?” she asked.

“Not right now, thanks.” I replied.

“Oh come on.” she urged.

She stood up and reached down grabbing the hem of the tee shirt with both hands. With one quick motion, she pulled it up and over her head. She was wearing a very revealing two piece spandex suit, that clung tightly to her body. She was absolutely breath taking, every man around the pool was staring helplessly. She reached down with one hand, inviting me again to get in the pool with her. I stood up, took off my tee shirt, tossing it on the table between our chairs. I followed her to the stairs, slowly stepping down into the pool. I have to admit, the water felt really good. We both drifted to the five to six foot section of the pool, where the blue and white nylon rope separated the pool in half.

“You’re driving the women in this complex wild Brian. They don’t get to see a body like yours often.” she laughed.

“Right, like you don’t have all the guys in here drooling over you.” I shot back.

She laughed then dove under the water swimming toward the deep end of the pool. When she reached the area just by the diving board, she popped up, one hand gripping the board. She motioned me over to join her, which I did quickly. Now were completely isolated from the rest of the swimmers, a full pool length between us. She now reached up with one hand placing it on my shoulder as I held on to the board as well.

“So you given any thought to what I said?” she asked.

“About the women in the pool?” I asked.

“Noooo.” she replied, “About how I find you incredibly attractive?”.

“Oh, um ... no not really.” I replied., “Why?”

“I was just wondering that’s all.” she answered.

There was an awkward moment of silence that passed between us, both of us looking away in different directions.

“I guess sometimes you’re attracted to people, but they just don’t feel the same way.” she said, softly.

“Oh no Alexis, that’s not it at all. I think you’re drop dead gorgeous. In fact you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever stood next to.” I responded.

“Oh please Brian, don’t get carried away now.” she laughed.

“Alexis, I am being honest. Any man would give his right arm to be with you.” I followed.

“Except you.” she giggled.

“It’s not that easy Alexis. One day, I might tell you the whole story, then maybe you will understand.” I replied.

“Tell me now.” she urged, running her foot up my leg.

“Im not sure how you would handle it Alexis, it’s really ... well I don’t know how to describe it ... other than unusual.” I answered.

“I like unusual.” she giggled again, her foot still rubbing up and down my calf.

“Alexis, you’re a good friend. You have helped me so much since I arrived here. I just don’t want anything to ruin that.” I replied.

“Trust me Brian, your story can’t be anymore screwed up then mine.” she whispered softly.

“Wanna bet?” I challenged.

“Yep, I’ll bet.” she fired back.

I just shook my head at her smiling, she was not going to let this drop. I dove under the water and began to swim back to the ladder. By the time I reached it, she was right on my heels. I climbed out, then extended my hand, pulling her out of the pool. With her wet suit clinging to her, it left little to the imagination. She walked back over to our chairs, dressing then sitting back down.

“So what do you say we go back upstairs, get a pizza, then lay it all on the line. See where it goes from there?” she urged.

“Alexis, I don’t know ... It’s not something I am proud of.” I said softly looking down.

“Brian, I would really love to get to know you better, if it takes laying everything on the line, then so be it. Come on.” she said, extending her hand.

I took her hand and rose slowly, both of us walking towards our building, not a word being said. As we approached her unit, I told her I was going to take a shower, then we could meet back up. She told me to just come over when I was ready. I went inside, grabbed a change of clothes, then started the shower. The entire time I was in the shower, I was trying to think of just how I should try to explain what had happened in my life. The more I thought about it, the more I began to think it was just a bad idea. I mean how do you justify being in love with your step mother? Much less admit you had sex with her?

By the time I finished getting dressed, I had decided to keep my relationship with Ashley under wraps.

I locked my door, walked two doors down to Alexis’ unit, saw the door ajar slightly as it had been the last time I had visited. Once again, I stuck my head in, and acknowledged I was at the door.

“Come on in Brian.” was the response from inside.

I walked in, heading straight to the main room, sitting down on the large leather sectional sofa. The fabric felt soft and ice cold as always.

Alexis was apparently still dressing, I heard what I thought was a blow dryer. I guess I had been sitting there maybe five minutes when Alexis came walking into the room. She was wearing tight shorts and a tank top, white socks on her feet, rolled down to her ankles.

“How about a pizza, you hungry?” she asked.

“Sure, but I’m paying this time, it’s my turn.” I replied.

“Sure thing.” she said, dialling the phone.

She ordered the pizza, hung up and went to the kitchen returning with a bottle of red wine and one glass.

“You want wine, or something else?” she asked, pouring herself a glass.

“I will just drink water.” I replied.

She went back into the kitchen and returned with an ice cold bottle of water. She twisted the top off, handing me the bottle with a smile. She sat down next to me, close but not too close to be uncomfortable. Once again, I could smell her bath products, powder fresh, just a hint of a fragrance. She pulled her legs up under her, then turned to me wine glass in hand.

“Ok, so where do we start?” she asked, her eyes bright and wide.

“I have no idea.” I responded, looking away from her eyes.

“Start from the beginning Brian, take your time.” she urged.

“Well you remember I told you what happened with my mother and father when I was young right?” I asked.

“Yea kinda.” she replied.

So I decided to start from square one, that would give me enough time to work my way up to whether I would tell her about Ashley or not. I quickly recalled my childhood, if it could be called that. I told her about my early years in high school, when I first met Courtney and how rocky our relationship had been during those years. I told her about my brief relationship with Jasmin, but somehow it always came back to Courtney. I was at that point of my story where if I was going to tell her, it had to be now. I stopped abruptly, still not sure what to do. Thankfully she bailed me out, at least for the moment.

“So Courtney was the love of your life, to this point?” she asked, her hand touching mine.

“It’s much more complicated than that.” I explained.

“I don’t understand.” Alexis replied.

Once again, I tried my best to figure out how to interject Ashley into this conversation. I still had no idea, so I just started stumbling into it.

“Well it all started when I was in college, after my Dad had died. I started having these weird feelings...” I broke off.

“About what?” she asked sincerely.

“Ashley.” I blurted out.

I looked for some kind of reaction in Alexis’ face, but to be honest, I saw none to my surprise. I began slowly, telling her how the more time I spent around Ashley, the more I became attracted to her.

“Well really Brian, that’s perfectly normal. After all, she did pick up all the pieces after your father died. I can see how you would have deep emotional feelings for her.” she answered.

“Yes but somewhere, the feelings changed to much more.” I replied.

I saw her squirm slightly on the sofa, her eye brows raise just a bit. Before I could say anything else the doorbell rang. I got up, made my way to the door and opened it. I paid the delivery man for the pizza, taking my time to return to the sofa. Alexis had already returned with two plates and napkins. We each took a slice from the box, then leaned back on the sofa.

“So continue.” Alexis urged with a smile.

I slowly recalled the night on the Fourth of July a few years ago when I first kissed Ashley, then moments later watch her bolt from the room. I recounted how I immediately left for school the following day in an attempt to put it all behind me. Then later, that night on the sofa when we both masturbated in front of each other, trying my best not to sound like a pervert. I kept hoping Alexis was going to ask me to stop, tell me this was something I should keep private, but she never did. Soon, I was recounting the night of passionate love we shared, the night that would never be repeated, or at least had not as of yet.

I then explained how Courtney and I got back together, but how even though I loved Court dearly, that night still haunts me. I paused for a second, let out a deep breath like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

“So I guess what it all comes down to Alexis, is I had been in love twice in my life. I lost Ashley to my career, then Courtney to cancer.” I finished.

I looked up at Alexis, I could see she was emotional, I was just hoping not for the wrong reasons. It seemed like an eternity passed by before she replied.

“Now I understand Brian, I can see why you are hesitant to get close to anyone.” she responded, softly stroking the top of my hand.

“Can I ask you just one question?” she whispered softly.

“Why not.” I answered.

“I know that you will always love Ashley, it’s to be expected. But are you still in love with her?” she asked, her eyes riveted to mine.

“I honestly don’t know Alexis. I mean since I have been out here, I know it’s much easier. We talk every once in a while, but the temptation is not there everyday.” I replied.

“That does make sense.” Alexis told me.

“So now you can see why I am so messed up.” I laughed.

“Brian, you’re not messed up, as much as I think you are confused. I think the reason you just fell head over heels in love with Ashley was she made you feel safe. When your Dad died what was left of your world crumbled, you had no one left. As you got older, you fell in love with both Ashley’s, the one who got you threw the turmoil and the beautiful young woman. But I think the first had a lot to do with the latter.” she finished.

“Maybe, but what about her? Why did she feel some of the same things?” I asked.

“Probably for a lot of the same reasons. When your Dad died she lost her world too. But being the adult, she had no where to turn to. Later when you started having feelings for her, she was probably lonely, I’m sure seeing a lot of your father’s personality in you. I can’t speak for her personally, I can only look at it from a woman’s point of view. But I do understand why she would feel that way.” she responded.

“Thanks Alexis, I appreciate your understanding. I have never told anyone about this, you are the first.” I said, softly.

“Well, I’m glad you did Brian. It means you trust me to some extent, that means a lot.” she answered.

“I do trust you Alexis, I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t.” I replied.

“Soooooo, I guess it’s my turn.” she said, nervously.

“No, that’s ok. You don’t have to feel like you need to tell me anything, just because of what I said.” I told her, our hands still touching.

“No, really I do. Like I told you, I am attracted to you, more than you know. After what you told me, I need to come clean with you as well, if we go any further.” she said, pulling her hand from mine.

She leaned over and picked up the half full bottle of wine and poured herself another glass, I guess trying to collect her thoughts. She started slowly, much as I had done, once again, almost from scratch.

She recalled the story of her grandfather, a U.S. Marine in the early years of the Vietnam War who had met her grandmother, a beautiful young girl in Saigon. Over the course of his deployment, they had fell in love and she had become pregnant with Alexis’s mother. After much drama and danger, her grandfather had managed to get her grandmother out of Vietnam and back to the United States, where they led a pretty normal life. Her mother had married her father, another service man, who had been killed in First Gulf War. Alexis had only been two years old when her father had died, she barely remembered him. Her Asian features came from her mother’s side of the family, her height from her fathers, he had been close to six foot three inches tall. Her mother being of Asian ancestry believed in education first above all else, pushing Alexis as a young child to excel in academics. Even when she had first started playing volleyball competitively, it was with the understanding that if the grades dropped, even slightly, she would have to give it up.

Her mother had not allowed her to date until she turned sixteen, even then it had to be a chaperoned event, like a school dance or similar. She was not allowed out alone with a boy until she was a junior in high school. While she had been touched a few times during make out sessions, she had never had sex while in high school.

Much as I was, she was overwhelmed her freshman year in college being a student / athlete, she had little time for much else. She had met a boy during her second year in college, he seemed like a dream come true. He was studying to become a doctor, his family was very wealthy, well known in the community. During their first sexual encounter, she found him to be somewhat aggressive, but since she had no previous experience, she had little to compare it to. It wasn’t until a fraternity party on campus when she learned the truth about him.

The party, given every year by the fraternity was to pledge it’s newest members. Since her boyfriend was the vice president of the fraternity, naturally she was expected to attend. The party started off normally, but soon the drinking got out of hand. Admittedly Alexis had drank far too much herself, although she claimed she was still in control of herself. Her boyfriend Brad, encouraged her to go upstairs with him to his room, where she quickly found herself in his bed. Although Brad was eager, apparently he was unable to perform, something which got him extremely angry. He left her alone for a few minutes, returned to the room and tried once again to have sex with her. This time, he turned her over on her stomach, attempting to enter her from behind. Once again, he was unsuccessful, causing him to get even more livid. He blamed Alexis for not being able to arouse him, calling her a “dead fuck”.

At that point Alexis attempted to get up, but she was face down on the bed, Brad straddling her with all of his weight. She cried out, urging him to get off of her but he refused. I could tell Alexis was beginning to get overwhelmed, her eyes were full of water, her voice choking up slightly.

“Alexis, you can stop. It’s ok, really.” I offered.

She shook her head, taking another sip of wine from her glass, then taking a deep breath.

“I have to tell you Brian, I need to get this out from inside of me.” she sobbed.

She went on to tell me that a minute or two after she began to struggle with Brad, she heard the door open, saw the light from the hall wash over the room, then disappear again. For a second she felt Brad’s body weight lift off of her, for a split second she felt relieved. But the relief was short lived as she felt a second body moving over her. She screamed out again to Brad, begging him to release her. He simply said three words, three words she would never forget.

“Shut up whore.” he growled, in a drunken state.

Before she could even comprehend what was going through his mind, she felt a hard, thick penis enter her from behind. There was no passion, no caring, just hard forceful thrusts with no regard for her what so ever. Thankfully, it only took about a dozen thrusts until she heard the second boy groan, releasing his seed into her body. As he pulled out of her, she was sobbing, begging Brad to let her up. But he had no intention of doing so, in fact the visual sight of his friend fucking Alexis from behind had given him the erection he couldn’t achieve previously.

“Hold the bitch down.” she heard Brad tell his friend.

The second boy did as he was told, pushing her shoulders and back into the mattress keeping her pinned down. She then felt Brad enter her from behind, his cock slipping easily inside of her, due to his friend’s previous orgasm. After a few rough strokes, she felt him pull out of her. She was still pleading with Brad to let her go, sobbing hysterically.

“I’ll let you go, after I cum in your ass, bitch.” he leered.

“Oh God no, please Brad, please no.” she wailed.

But once again her cries fell on deaf ears, the tip of Brad’s cock was already opening her up, the pain was excruciating. Within seconds he was buried deep inside of her ass, his thrusts short and powerful. Although it was over in a few short minutes, it felt like an eternity. When he was done, he got up off of her, they both dressed and left the room. She laid there for several minutes before realizing she better leave as soon as possible, in case he offered her to anymore of his friends. She quickly threw her clothes on, ran down the stairs and out of the house. She ran across campus to her own dorm room, locking the door behind her, running for the bathroom. She filled the tub with hot water, quickly climbing in trying desperately to wash herself clean.

“I sat in that tub for hours, until the water was ice cold.” she told me.

Even though this event had happened years ago, I could still see the pain in her eyes.

“What did you do afterwards?” I asked, stupidly.

“I went to my counsellor the next day, she took me to the campus police. After six hours of answering the same questions over and over, one of the assistant administrators came in the room. She explained to me that I could file formal charges against the two boys, an investigation would be started. But if I did, it would all be made public, my scholarship might be rescinded.” she replied.

“Why would your scholarship be taken away, they raped you?” I asked.

“You don’t understand Brian. His parents were extremely wealthy, they were influential in the community. They were huge contributors to the school, they could hire the best attorneys. I was the granddaughter of a Vietnamese refugee, my mother had nothing, if I lost my scholarship, my education was over.” she replied.

I didn’t know what to say, it must have been obvious from the look on my face.

“I just let it go, I went on with my life. I concentrated on class and volleyball period, I kept to myself. I never dated anyone else, I kept away from boys all together.” she continued.

“I never told my mother a thing, I graduated with honors, I moved on. I have only told one other person what happened until now, you make the second.” she finished.

I reached over and touch her cheek gently, my heart aching for her.

“Alexis, I am so sorry for what happened to you.” I whispered.

She leaned into me, wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face into my shoulder. She cried as I held her as tightly as I could, I felt helpless. I’m not sure how long I held her before she stopped crying, she finally pulled back, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I have avoided men since that day, I can’t make myself trust anyone.” she whispered.

“I understand completely Alexis, it’s very understandable.” I responded.

She reached over and took my hand in hers, lifting it to her lips, then kissing the back of my hand. She then pulled it to her cheek, holding it there for several seconds, before letting it go.