My mother left us when I was almost five. Walked out on me, Daddy and my baby sister Ellie. I can’t remember much; Daddy said I cried a lot, and needed loads of cuddles. Daddy remarried a couple of years after, a nice lady he knew from work. Amanda was around for eight years, then she got offered a really big promotion, provided she moved to New York. We held a family meeting, all agreed it was way too good an opportunity for her to pass up. She flew home every other weekend, then once a month, then not for three months. I was dating by then, so I guess I didn’t specially notice her absence. Then we had another family meeting; Amanda and Daddy couldn’t make it work and were divorcing as friends. We kept in touch, she even came back to spend Christmas with us the first couple of years before she remarried.

I won a scholarship to State; it wasn’t all that much of a wrench because my boyfriend Ryan and several of my girlfriends were also headed there. Ellie and I skyped several times a week, she was just starting high school. She and Daddy had taken up geo-caching as a hobby – they both enjoyed being out in the fresh air, and the exercise was doing them both good. I was pleased that they were such great friends, I’d been a little worried that she’d be lonely without big sis around.

After a couple of months at State, Ryan and I talked, decided that we weren’t ever gonna get married, split up and began enjoying the college experience as singles. I started going steady with Ed our junior year, and took him home at Spring Break to meet Daddy and Ellie. Ellie was dating, but not seriously. Daddy still didn’t seem to be dating at all.

The weekend after Ellie’s 18^th birthday, Daddy asked me to come home, but to not bring Ed, said it was something just for the three of us. I arrived back pretty late Friday, they cooked me supper and we all crashed. Saturday after breakfast, Daddy called a family meeting. He made Ellie and I sit next to each other on the couch, before giving her a small flat gift-wrapped box; it contained a beautiful gold necklace with an emerald pendant, like the one he’d given me four years earlier. “Happy 18^th Birthday, honey!”

Then he handed her an envelope, his face now white and drawn. “Ellie, sweetheart, I love you, and I’ll ALWAYS be your Daddy, but ... read this, please.”

He left the room, and Ellie pulled out the papers.

Oh. My. God.

Daddy ... wasn’t her father.

Ellie burst into tears; we held each other tightly until Daddy returned and pulled him in for a group hug. The three of us talked all day; Daddy eventually admitting that he’d been scared to death that Ellie would move out now she was 18. She and I both slept in her bed that night; well, I don’t think either of us slept all that well. Daddy was at the kitchen table when I got us both a glass of milk at 3 a.m. He didn’t look good.

Ellie was pale but composed in the morning as she greeted him with a kiss. “Daddy, you WILL always be my Daddy, even if you weren’t my sperm donor. No, I’m not moving out, this is my home, even if we’re not related. Now, give me a loving hug and show me you really mean it.”

I thought they were never gonna let go of each other.

I called Ellie every night for the next couple of weeks. She sounded as happy as ever. Daddy too had a new lease of life; he confessed that he’d been fearing the worst.

That summer break, Ellie and Daddy seemed to be out together most of the time; she’d persuaded him to partner her at a dance class, in return he was finally teaching her the finer points of golf. I took three weeks vacation, went camping with Ed, and I don’t think they missed me at all. Ellie decided to attend the local community college and stay living at home. Whenever I brought Ed home for a weekend or a holiday, it was just like old times before Ellie’s birthday.

That was three years ago.

I will be married tomorrow.

It’s been ... difficult ... to decide on Ellie’s exact role in the wedding party.

Once Daddy has given me away to Ed, does Elllie remain standing with me as my chief bridesmaid, or, does she go sit down with Daddy?

There’s nothing I can find in the wedding etiquette guides about a half-sister who is now your stepmother.