Chapter 10

Joe woke the next morning to an empty house. He went to his office to work on his novel, which was near completion. He’d set it aside, essentially, by the time the tour recommenced in Europe, the first draft completed. It would be on his laptop. A thought might come to him to change something. But he wanted the time away from it. To not be too inside it. To have somewhat fresh eyes after a couple of months. Only then would he begin his editing. A couple times through, and he’d send the manuscript to his editor at his longtime publisher.

It had been a while since they had published his work. His plays had been published, as had his poems, but not by them. They had never been interested in those. The long poem had just been released. The two lesbian ladies had retired, unfortunately, but a publishing house used to small runs took over. No longer works of art in themselves, they looked much more conventional, though photos of productions were included with the plays, and Joe convinced the lesbian illustrator of his earlier work to add drawings for the poems. Liang had tried to get him to have the publisher of his novels take over. She headed the imprint that published much more controversial works after all. Some actually did pretty well, but not the bestsellers the main part of the publishing house tried to grind out. And she and Joanne did a lot of the editing before the manuscripts were sent off to be published. But Joe felt her work was more important than his little plays and poems. She disagreed about the importance, but had to admit they didn’t really fit the imprint.

Joe could have easily found another publisher for the novel. But even if his pal who ran the publisher had also retired, they were smart enough to have the woman he respected the most at the house take over as head. So he knew their integrity. And Cheryl didn’t need to display her brilliance at negotiations to get one of the best contracts for a writer. Just like he had when he made the house a ton of money. And himself.

Later that day, Joe headed to Irving Plaza. The shows didn’t have an opening act, because of the length, so sound check could take longer. Even become mini rehearsals. This time it really was. After setting up the three configurations of the three parts of the show, they actually worked on a new song! A long, sensual ballad that actually revealed the multiple partner bed situation in Eddie’s life! And it was about the one that was missing, or at least not there enough! Joe realized it was about Ginny. Looking back at her, at the mic beside her choral group, her smiling, slightly teary glance back told him she realized it too.

“Needs some work,” Eddie chuckled. “Perhaps we’ll premiere it in Europe.”

“A live album then,” said Joe. “Featuring it.”

“And a video,” Rachel agreed. Joe wondered if she got the subtext, or maybe the actual text, that neither she nor Jacques were quite enough for Eddie. Her sad glance at Joe suggested she did.

“Can we talk?” she asked Joe after he set aside his bass. He looked back and saw Eddie and Ginny talking. He decided to join them later.

“Okay,” he said.

They walked outside. A cool and breezy early spring evening. Rachel took his hand. “I thought ... after Shawn ... when they were no longer the tightest thing since ... whatever ... we were that.”

Joe sighed. “There was a reason for Shawna’s and Eddie’s relationship.”

“Me?”

“No Rachel. It was two lost souls finding each other and finding they didn’t feel so lost when they were together.”

“Shared experience,” Rachel nodded.

“That was the start. But just the door that opened for their close friendship.”

“I don’t get Ginny being damaged goods. And she’s not at all like Eddie.”

“Was Shawna?”

“No,” she chuckled. “In fact, they’re similar like that. Shy.”

“Like how Eddie is inside. Hidden.”

“Maybe.”

“You know he is. It’s what makes him so malleable.”

“Like the way he was with Sam. But I wasn’t like that with him.”

“Weren’t you?”

“We were like equals. Just partying together.”

“You were. But not...”

“Not since we quit drinking. And finally figured out we love each other. And I became Sam. Shit.”

“It’s almost automatic, your dynamic. You’re intensely strong, Rachel. More than any woman in his life. And that works. Because he needs it. But...”

“It makes it really hard for him to have another Shawna in his life. So it is my fault.”

“I think the tour has brought out the old bitch.”

“The groupie thing. Drove Ginny away. Yeah, I noticed. I guess I figured she’d be with you. And Eddie was okay with it. At least I thought he was. Jacques definitely enjoyed it.”

“Jacques is shallower and more physically rather than emotionally focused than the other version of me,” Joe said.

“He’s a guitarist. What do you expect?”

“And you definitely prefer him over Trevor.”

“Because I get to share. But Jacques isn’t as shallow as he appears.”

“Isn’t he?”

“He likes to fuck. And he likes variety. Just like every other man. But when it’s just him and Eddie, even with me there, it can be very loving. He’s cool, Joe. Honest.”

“Good. But maybe that’s part of the problem.”

“With Ginny?”

“Yeah. There’s a strong threesome. And Ginny...”

“Feels like a guest.”

“A fourth wheel. I think when she shared that one groupie with you, what made her uncomfortable was...”

“It was too much like her with us.”

“Yes. But not just that. And it’s similar. Old love takes precedence over new. When I’m there...”

“I demand your focus. I can’t help that. I love you Joe. Not as much as Eddie, but it’s close. And I love it when you fuck me.”

“So again Ginny feels like an interloper.”

“I ... What can I say? Truth is, I thought Ginny was a blessing. It’s not like you’d be with me all that often. Less and less, until it hardly happened. Then you two bonded with Ginny and I got to participate. And now it appears I can’t even have that.

“I know how you hated me, Joe, even though I loved you. But I thought we were over that.”

“We are, Rachel. I love you. But...”

“It always has to be with Eddie. Unlike with Joanne. And Cheryl now. They get to be with you. I don’t. You know how ironic that is.”

“How so?”

“Eddie wanted you to fuck me. He’s always had that thing about you stealing his girls. But not with me.”

“But him there was a condition.”

“What are you afraid of? That you’ll satisfy me so much one on one that I won’t go back to him?”

“That would be arrogant of me.”

“But you do think it will change things.”

“Just the possibility of it. It could.”

“I would return to him.”

“Of course.”

“But you think I might not want to as much.”

“It’s been this divisive thing. You know that. Just the tinniest risk makes me avoid it just being us. I know things have leveled. He’s the one scoring girls I’ve been with and all that. But Ginny...”

“She talked about just being with you. Because of me.”

“And him being the old Eddie.”

“Which I seemed to have encouraged. I don’t suppose you’ll want an occasional visit from me.”

“Probably not a good idea. I’m afraid she’s not all that fond of you right now.”

“Fuck!”

Joe stopped and pulled her in front of him. The beautiful blonde, no longer as deceptively angelic, but somehow even more gorgeous in her late thirties, with a near perfect body she worked hard to retain after her kid. Her attractiveness had never been the issue. Or it had been, since she’d been seemingly at a much higher league than Joe deserved when they were in high school. But she had used that to get Joe, using the amazement of Belle being desired by her as a lure. Her manipulations made Joe hate her. But any heterosexual male couldn’t help but desire her. Joe definitely did. Still did.

“Promise me something,” he said.

“What?”

“You let Eddie be with Ginny.”

“And you.”

“Yes.”

“And my reward?” she smirked.

Joe laughed. “I’ll be with you.”

“With Eddie?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t mind being with Eddie?”

“I don’t, weirdly enough. I guess since sex started with the two of us together. And our friendship somehow makes it intense, sharing a woman.”

“And you trust Eddie because...”

“I know he’d like it if he could be intimate with me.”

“Intimate? He’d love it if he sucked you and you fucked him.”

“I know. But he knows how I feel.”

“He does. How often? Like with Joanne?”

“No. I don’t know.”

“Once a week?”

“I don’t know.”

“Please?”

“Okay. We’ll see how it goes.”

“Great! And I think Jacques should join us sometimes. Not to be with you of course, but to be with Eddie.”

“While I’m with you.”

“Yes.”

“A compromise.”

“One on one, but with Eddie there,” she nodded.

“I don’t know, Rachel. I’m not exactly comfortable with gay sex.”

“I wasn’t either.”

“But you’re actually attracted to men.”

“True. Just try?”

“I have actually.”

“Oh yeah. Shit.”

“Why is it important?”

“I don’t know. Maybe for you to see their love?”

“While we share ours.”

“Yes Joe.”

“I’ll try. But if I’m not comfortable?”

“Then off you’ll go. I just wish...” she started, embracing him.

He leaned down and kissed her. Lovingly but short. Shorter than she wanted. She sighed when the embrace ended. “Go fix things with Ginny and Eddie.”

“You?”

“I’ll just ... walk.”

“Come on,” Joe said, taking her hand.

“Okay,” Rachel smiled.

They walked back to the venue.

Ginny and Eddie, sitting on the edge of the stage together, smiled at them.

“Where’s everyone else?” Rachel asked.

“Chinatown,” said Eddie.

“Usual place?”

“Yep.”

“See you,” she said, giving Joe a quick kiss before heading out.

“The song freaked her out,” said Eddie.

“I guess she’s not Rache the Bache anymore,” Joe replied.

“But she’s cool?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

“I’m starved,” said Ginny.

“Can’t have that,” Eddie grinned.

They walked the several blocks to the 2^nd Avenue Deli in the East Village, talking all the way.

“Ginny told you about Raven?” Joe asked.

“Can’t say I’m not disappointed,” Eddie admitted. “I’m rather attracted to Ginger.”

“You know where we’ll be,” Joe offered.

“Joe?” Ginny muttered.

“No actually,” said Eddie.

“Same place,” Joe said.

“I thought... , “ Ginny reacted.

“You can see Ginger strut her stuff,” said Joe. “But it’s our date.”

“It is a meat market,” Eddie said.

“Layla will probably be there,” said Ginny.

“You really are punishing me,” Eddie chuckled.

“That’s what I said,” Joe chuckled as well.

“I’m thinking some closeted suit. Maybe Layla could distract his buddy.”

“Does that seem likely?” Joe asked.

Eddie shrugged. “I did catch a couple gazes last time.”

“You’re a rock star Eddie,” Ginny pointed out.

“It’s the direction of their gaze, beautiful.”

“Closeted?” Joe argued.

“Are there other prostitutes?” Eddie asked Ginny.

“Maybe. Or just sluts.”

“Sluts are less likely to be paid to be beards,” said Joe.

“Maybe I’ll fuck her too.”

“Or just go home,” Joe suggested.

“Watching Ginger? I’ll want more immediate gratification.”

“Just leave with your boy after we leave?” Joe asked.

“I’ll just come early,” Eddie shrugged. “Are we good after this?” he asked Ginny.

“If Rachel lets you out,” Ginny replied.

“I guess I deserved that.”

“Rachel will be cool,” said Joe.

“Aren’t I competition?” Ginny asked.

“We made an arrangement.”

“What kind of arrangement?”

“Yeah, what kind of arrangement, Joe?” Eddie asked.

Joe sighed. “She wants more time with me.”

“I’m cool with that,” said Eddie.

“Are you?”

“Yeah. I know how much she loves you, Joe. Has loved you since even before me.”

“It won’t be one on one.”

“Why not?”

“I just think it’s a bad idea. But she wants Jacques to join us.”

“Not something you’re comfortable with.”

“I told her I’d give it another try.”

“Why is that important to her?” Eddie asked.

“I think for a couple reasons.”

“He won’t be part of a threesome with you and her.”

“No he won’t. I guess I suggested Jacques was just there for sex.”

“We love each other Joe.”

“And Rachel wants me to see that.”

“Isn’t that the problem for you?”

“Not the sex, but the way you are with him. The intimacy I guess.”

“Not the sex but the intimacy,” Eddie shook his head.

“If you don’t know the difference, you’re not the man I thought you’d become.”

“This is intimacy, Eddie,” Ginny said.

“I get it. I just can’t get out of my head how Joe reacts to my gayness. I mean when it’s fully demonstrated. So you said two reasons.”

“While you and Jacques make love...”

“She makes love to you.”

“Yes.”

“Have you never had Rachel one on one, Joe?” Ginny asked.

“Not really, no.”

“She’s been with you without me,” said Eddie.

“Not for years. But when she did, there were always others.”

“I know how you are, Joe,” said Ginny. “Does that matter?”

“Usually not. But for her it does.”

“She scares you?”

“Maybe.”

They laughed. Then talked about other things. With ease.

After dinner they walked more swiftly back to Irving Plaza, but managed to keep talking.

“I’d like this to happen every day when we are touring,” Eddie said.

“This?” Ginny asked.

“Time for the three of us to talk.”

“I’d like that too,” Joe said. “We’ll make that happen.”

“And the sex?” Ginny asked.

“Joe will have even less company in Europe,” Eddie pointed out. “Unless he finds some poor waif to save.”

“Unlikely,” Joe said.

“I’ll keep him company, if it’s okay with you, Eddie.”

“Why wouldn’t it be? I know Joe and I know me.”

“I really like it best when it’s the three of us,” Ginny insisted.

“Me too,” said Joe.

“If you say so. I could join you maybe every other day? Then Joe could join Rachel and me in between.”

“Unless Rachel finds a groupie,” said Ginny.

“She’ll find them when you’re with Joe.”

“We’ll see. But I’m cool with that, Eddie. As long as we have time together. Like this. I thought we lost this.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You figured it out and fixed it.”

“I guess I did,” he smiled.

“With a song,” Joe chuckled.

The show was as electric as any show they’d done, which was saying a lot. The encore went much longer, as if to test the resilience of the Manhattan audience. As the last peal of Eddie’s guitar ended, ending the blues jam, the choral group began singing the song Eddie had worked on during the sound check. The roadie handed him his twelve string. He shrugged and chuckled and began the song. With no ending crafted, it petered out. The amazing performance ending in a shambles. Nevertheless, even that had something oddly exquisite about it. The final applause might have been tepid, but few in the audience, of which more than half remained to the last, left without a smile on their face.

“Hey,” Joe heard while unplugging and removing his bass.

“Hey,” he said back to the dark hair beauty leaning against the front of the stage. He pointed stage right. “Harve will let you come up.”