Chapter 80: A Sunrise, A Side Trip, And Sensuousness

June 30, 1981

The alarm went off about 5:30. I woke with a bit of a groan, stretched. Angie blinked away, looking up.

“Why can’t the sun rise at a decent hour?”

“It will in winter. Of course, the lake would be very cold then.”

“It’s always something!”

We dressed, grabbed a blanket, and headed for the beach. It took a bit of a walk to get to a place with an unobstructed view to the east and a decent place to sit. I spread out the blanket and we sat. The early light of pre-dawn was just lighting up the sky.

I sat with my back against a tree; she sat between my legs, and my arms wrapped around her. She turned, looked back, and kissed me. Then she giggled and rubbed noses.

“So, I’m pretty sure that at no point prior to a year ago had I ever imagined sitting on a shoreline in Wisconsin snuggling with a guy waiting for a sunrise. Making that guy my brother? Even less likely.”

“Same. I mean, from my perspective, I didn’t have a sister all that long ago, and it would’ve been impossible for that to change. Except, of course, the impossible happened.”

“Promise me you won’t turn into a jerk and make me annoyed you’re my brother?”

“I’ll do my best, Ang. We’ve had one real run-in in the last year. Shh.” I laid a finger over her lips, “Why it happened isn’t as big as that it happened. We’ll probably have other ones. They’ll happen. If I’m a jerk, tell me. You know I’ll tell you. And we’ve at least done it — gone through something where we could’ve said a lot of things we didn’t. Which tells me that we can keep from it again, because now both of us — not just you — can look back and say ‘Wow, if I’d said that, we’d be in a real mess now’.”

“Yeah ... true. I’ll tell you, you know that. I’ll whap you, too, and not nicely.” She grinned and smacked my leg playfully. “I just want you and me, and Mom and Dad too, to always be close and love each other. Even when I got mad at Daddy Frank, I always loved him and he always loved me.”

“I do, too, and I know they do. And, Ang, my first go-round, Mom and Dad and I were never, you know, not close. Sometimes closer than others, but we were warm until the end. And I don’t see any reason why that won’t be the same for you.”

She shifted a little. The glow on the horizon was increasing, and I watched it and her at the same time. With no other light, she was still a silhouette.

“You know why I felt weird yesterday, after that joke.”

“Yeah. And you shouldn’t have.”

“But...”

“But nothing. Ang, you’re Frank’s daughter. You learned a million things from him. The biology doesn’t change that. You don’t have to share genes to share a sense of humor.”

She squeezed a bit more. “Thanks, big bro. You know, um... ? I think a bit of us fitting together is both being adopted. I don’t have to think for a second that Mom and Dad might love you more because of biology. Even if that’d be stupid, and it would be stupid, it’s just human.”

“Makes sense. It’s just. Um ... for me it’s a fundamental thing that’s just there. I’ve got brown hair. I’ve got hazel eyes. I’m adopted. It’s unchanging; it was never a surprise. As early as I could understand it, I knew it. Before I even knew how babies were made.” I stopped. Bit my lip. Thinking.

“What? What’d you just think of, Steve?”

“OK, this is somewhere between ... I don’t know. A long shot. Wishful thinking. A nice story. Whatever. It’s unlikely to be true, but maybe.”

“I’m curious. Tell.”

“So. Frank wasn’t a dumb guy.”

“Nah. Of course not. Neither’s Dad, nor Robert. I doubt Donald is; I’ve never met him.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“So? What’s that have to do with anything?”

“So, the theory is, the FW deceived Frank, he never knew, and he always loved you just like his flesh and blood because he thought you were.”

“Right, that’s what hap ... oh!”

“Right. Suppose Frank figured the timing out and chose to just raise you the best way he could.”

“Wow. Yeah, OK, I do think it’s wishful thinking. But it could be.”

“And, the point is, it doesn’t matter. Mom and Dad couldn’t have raised me any better if I’d been their biological child, and Frank, I don’t think, would’ve done the least bit less if he’d been sure that you were, essentially, adopted.”

Angie squeezed in a little more and sighed. “I like that, I really do. I kinda obsess a bit about being, you know, the FW’s daughter, because what does that say about what’s lurking in me? But you’re right. That just doesn’t matter, because it’s not what my genes say, it’s how I live my life. And even the first time, when I fucked up, I didn’t fuck up the way she has. And I never would have.”

“So yeah. We’ll make mistakes. It’s gonna happen. Extra experience or not, sure, we’re a lot better than your average fifteen-year-olds in a lot of ways, but we’re still fifteen. At least, I think so. Extra maturity, and knowing stuff we couldn’t know otherwise, but fifteen.”

“Yeah. I fought that for a while, but heck, I don’t even know if I’m a lot more mature. Except the school of hard knocks kind. It’s not like I managed being an actual adult.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong.”

“Huh?”

“You got an education in a tough environment. That’s time management, people skills, perseverance, all of that. That’s being an adult as much as making sure you pay the bills or whatever.”

“I have to watch out for you,” she giggled. “You make me feel better, but then you’re also my biggest fan and totally biased.”

“And not in the least ashamed of it. And look...” I pointed out. The horizon was glowing now. Not fully, not yet. But close. And I could see Angie’s face now. Not, say, her eye color. But much more.

“It’s lovely, don’t you think.”

“Uh huh.”

She looked at me, laughed, and turned my head back out towards the lake. “The sunrise, silly!”

“That, too.”

Another quick kiss and nose-rub and we quieted down, just looking out, holding hands, quiet, wrapped in the warm blanket. After a bit, the first true rays of the sun broke. We sighed together, turned, and kissed. Soft and warm, loving, sweet. When we looked back, the sun was peeking up. I snapped a couple pictures, hoping they’d come out.

“Totally worth it, coming here, big brother.”

“Completely, little sister.”

She laughed, soft, musical. “You know, there was a brief time when I hated the idea of being the little sister. You know, ‘I’m more mature, more social, taller, all that. Why should I be little?’ But I love it now. It just fits.”

“I do, too. It does.”

“Let’s just snuggle out here a while longer before going back.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

I laid back on the blanket, Angie wrapped in my arms, and we soaked in the early morning peace. We both drifted off, which was more than all right.

We awoke to birdsong, lapping waves, and a sun fully risen, but just by a bit.

“Mmmmm. I like waking up with you, do you know that?”

“I think it’s been mentioned. I like it too, Ang. A lot. But we can’t overdo it at home. On the other hand, we can’t give it up. Even Mom knows it’s part of who we are, now.”

“Yeah. I think she’s ... better. Just that we haven’t jumped each other’s bones after this many opportunities says we won’t do something foolish without thought. I think that’s her biggest fear.”

“I think she thinks we’re still virgins. Or me, at least.”

Angie laughed. “Well, she knows I’m not, um ... intact. Tampons, you know? I’m sorry, I won’t use just pads in order to hide that! I’m also still amused that I can say things like that and not have you glow red or cover your ears.”

“Eh, never bothered me,” I smiled. “And I mean never. With my wife, before we even got married, we went on a trip, and she ran out. I walked a mile or so to the drug store, bought what she needed, walked back. No blush, no worries. Since then? It’s just biology.”

Angie looked at me. “You loved her, didn’t you? I mean, really?”

“I did, Ang. In a sad, doomed way. Not unlike you and Max. I tried, and I tried, and I tried some more, and it was never enough. It wasn’t ... it’s not even that it wasn’t enough. It’s like ... well, would that tree care if I pushed at it hard as I possibly could? It probably wouldn’t even notice. I never felt like she even understood what was wrong or that I was trying to help her. Not that I was perfect, but ... well, you understand. Max.”

“Yeah.” She hugged me tight. “But you gave your heart freely to Candice. No worries about it getting stomped on.”

“Fifteen, horny, different person. On both sides. The old me couldn’t have. I could have loved again, but I doubt I would have. Not at fifty-five, not being so tired of worrying when the next explosion would hit. I’d have gotten a dog or a cat or both and loved my kids and hung out with my friends and that’d be it. It’s totally different here and now.”

“It is.”

We watched the sun inch a little higher, holding each other.

“You know, we should go back, see if they’re up. Still up for canoeing, sis?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I imagine we’ll both be pathetic at it, but that’ll be fun, too.”

“We should pack something to eat. And some drinks. In a waterproof container.”

She laughed. “Yeah, and wear easy-to-dry stuff over our suits.”

“You didn’t bring the... ?”

“Noooooooo. Mom is not seeing that one! She’s cool, but there are limits. That is well past them!”

“Oh, well.”

“You don’t sound disappointed. Hrmph.”

“Sis, I get to see you in an adorable outfit every night and enjoyed your birthday suit on your birthday. I am hardly deprived of enjoying the amazing beauty of the hottest blonde in the world.”

Angie giggled quite a bit. “C’mon, big brother. I need eggs. And bacon. And biscuits. And ... whatever. To power us in the canoe.”

“Not gonna argue one bit.”

I folded up the blanket, took her hand, and we strolled back together.

By the time we got back, breakfast was just about ready. Mom and Dad were up.

“You kids just get up?”

Angie grinned. “Nah, we’ve been up for a couple hours at least.”

“We went down and watched the sunrise. It was incredible.”

Mom looked at Dad. “Sam, we have to do that tomorrow. We can’t let the teenagers beat us on getting up.”

Dad laughed. “I think we can manage, Helen. It sounds like fun.”

“Bring a blanket and walk a little further south than you think you should have to. It’ll be worth it. There’s a perfect little spot.”

“Thanks, Son!”

Andrew came out, bringing a bowl of eggs. “Sounds like you found my favorite sunrise spot, Steve. I’m glad.”

Angie smiled. “Thanks for mentioning it, Sir. We loved it. Though, once is enough. We wouldn’t want to miss out on too much sleep.” She giggled and shot a glance to Mom that Dad missed. Mom smiled back.

Andrew went back, returning with a big plate of bacon. “You kids going to take a canoe or two and see what you can see?”

“Planning to, yes, Sir. I think Angie and I will just take one. Makes a lot more sense. And if we can, we’ll trouble you and Mrs. Denton for some lunch and drinks.”

“Of course, you can! We’ll pack you up some things. I’ve got a cooler that’s perfect for that. And once we’re done with breakfast, I’ll show you the boathouse and everything you need. I’m sure Sam and I will spend the whole day reminiscing out on the back porch.”

Dad grinned. “That’s my plan!”

“And that’s why I brought a book!” Mom said, chuckling.

Equipped with life jackets, a paddle each plus a spare, a cooler, and some extra bottles of water, plus a couple of cameras enclosed in Ziploc bags, Angie and I waved goodbye and started paddling along the lake. No particular direction, except north along the shore. No destination in mind, just having fun. Neither of us had been in a canoe for years. This go-round for me, the last time would be Y camp four years ago. Angie’s last time this go-round was five years at a park along the lake, way down near Chicago.

We got the hang of it after a bit and paddled efficiently, watching the shore, and the occasional home, as we glided past. Angie looked back. “You know, I had visions of a nice little island we could picnic on, but there’s nothing like that.”

“Would’ve been nice, but yeah, it’s just shore and lots of lake. Pretty, though.”

“Really pretty. We should do stuff like this at home.”

“It’ll be a lot easier when we have our own transportation.”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll be busy when we get back, too. Driving lessons, and I need to do some work to justify having money.”

“That’d have to be a lot of work. A whole, giant, heaping lot of work.”

“Yeah, well, I’m working on it. I have a few ideas. Plus, that friend’s dad you were talking about.”

“We need to claim that somehow we got a bunch at once, instead of trying to pretend that we worked a zillion hours at low wages when we don’t have the time. Or got paid a lot for ... something.” She paused, bit her lip.

“What?”

“Maybe something. Maybe nothing. Let me think about it.”

“OK, sis.”

We paddled along in silence while she thought, taking the occasional break to float along and rest. Every so often, I took out a camera and shot a picture when something looked interesting. Eventually Angie wanted to talk about classes next year. She was still noncommittal on debate, though I was pretty sure she was leaning ever more in favor.

After a couple hours, we pulled up to the shore. It’d have been nice to have a cell phone, or a GPS, just to know where we were.

I helped Angie out, beached the canoe, then looked around. The shore was barren, rocky. “Let’s walk in over there. To the trees.”

“Leaving the canoe?”

“I doubt anyone’s coming out here to steal canoes.”

“I suppose that makes sense. If someone does, you get to replace it.”

“Fine by me.”

We walked in, maybe a quarter mile, finding a nice grassy field adjoining the trees. I spread out our blanket and we sat. There was a house a good half-mile further in. I didn’t expect them to be too concerned about the trespassing picnickers.

Angie dug in the cooler, pulling out a couple of sandwiches and tossing me one along with a water bottle.

“Thanks!”

She looked around. “One issue. No bathrooms.”

I shrugged. “There’s a woods, and a lake.”

“Ew, and also, ew. But I may have to go for the lake.”

“Go in the lake, you mean?”

She got up, walked over, whapped me, then sat, closer. “Fine, your way works.”

“Ew or not, it’s practical. I mean, boys have an advantage that way.”

“I’ll use the woods if you watch.”

“Happy to,” I leered at her.

Whap! “Watch out for other people!” Angie giggled. “Not watch me! Besides, you said you weren’t into that!”

“Watching for other people works for me.”

We traded turns as lookout, packed up our trash and the blanket, then headed back to the shore. Angie wanted to swim a bit, so we did. Not very long; the water was chilly, even in summer. It was very refreshing, though.

We loaded the boat and started heading back.

“What happens if we miss Andrew’s house?”

“Well, if we see the Sears Tower, we’ve gone too far.”

“I can’t whap you from here unless I use a paddle. Consider yourself whapped.”

“Noted. You know, you could stick to that.”

“Much less fun.”

“The real answer is, I’m pretty sure I’ll recognize it. Also, if it gets way later, we’ll stop and ask to use a phone.”

“‘Castles don’t have phones, asshole!’”

I laughed. “A movie Mom would freak out about us watching.”

“Well, we didn’t. Not on her watch. When we can, we should dress as characters. Anyway, speaking of freaking out, how do you think things will go with Aunt Helen? I haven’t been encouraged by some of the things I’ve heard.”